"I woke up …that's all that I remembered at the time. Anything I saw afterwards is something I tried to forget. You said this would help right, talking about it? Well that's a lie! Do you actually want me to remember waking up and seeing my best friend covered in blood? To know that she will never again feel the light of the sun or beauty of a full moon, or any moon at that? To see all of her life slipping past her? What kind of person wants to remember that? Answer or do I have to do all of the talking?!"

Brittany got up from Dumbledore's chair and started to pace. Back and forth, back and forth in one thoughtless circle, she had to stay in motion. If she did stop those images were going to come again and again like some wave in the ocean. She was unable to stop them, helpless under their power for along time she felt like she was still in that upturned car with its one wheel forever turning, her face and clothes covered in blood. 'But no not now don't think about it now the tears will come soon and I can't show this weakness to anybody not even Dumbledore.'

"Why don't you just leave me be? All I want to do is forget." Brittany felt a pressure on her shoulder, a hand. Ginny's hand in fact.

"Hey Gin how are you doing?"

"I think I should be asking that." She said sadly.

"Oh, me, well… I'm trying to get by" Brittany said trying to smile.

"Brittany I hope you don't mind but I asked Ginny to be here I think she will be of some comfort to you now."

Dumbledore looked at Brittany as if she was a dissected frog; Brittany hated those wise, sorrowful, blue eyes he didn't know how it felt to lose someone who was there for the good times and the bad. She had almost forgotten she was still in Dumbledore's office. Brittany flew into a sudden rage

"Mind?! Oh no professor why don't you two just discuss how sad it is for someone so young to be so angry and I'll just leave shall I?"

Brittany didn't wait for an answer she made sure to slam the door. She paused at the other side of the door, thinking. 'The corridor seems so small lately everything seems so small and out of focus. I wonder if that's because tears always run down my face when I am alone. Alone that word seemed so foreign. When she was alive, I was never alone.'

"I still can't use her name it's too painful."

Britt ran down the steps and into a statue that almost toppled over except someone on the other side caught the head of Apollo.

"Thanks…Harry?"

"Yeah you're welcome" he looked uncomfortable

"Er…I guess I'll be going then." Matching his look.

Brittany turned and started to head down another corner.

"Wait!"

I turned back Harry jogged to me he looked good with his emerald sweater and his black jeans…. I looked down at my own outfit snoopy pajama bottoms and an "I love New York" baby tee wasn't as dressy as I had planned.

"Brittany I heard about –what happened" he said his hand messing up his already messed up hair.

"I wanted to say that I know how you fell and if you want to-"

"That's really sweet Harry but I have to go. I'll see you later ok?"

"Er yeah but I want you to know that you're not alone." He looked so serious when he said the last part I almost told him everything that was bothering me, almost.

Brittany nodded and walked away her feet seemed to lead her down into the dungeons at this point she hoped she gets caught but not by Draco. 'Okay calm down Brittany just turn around and-'

"Hey who's there?"

RUN! She followed mental order, and ran as fast as her legs could go. She passed the double doors and headed for the forbidden forest.

Brit's Pov

I didn't look back if he's following well then I hope a manicore gets him. I ran until the sunny day turned into a stuffy night.

Sitting on a branch, I thought about the eulogy I made at Kat's funeral. Everyone said it was beautiful it was not suppose to be beautiful it was supposed to expose myself as a murderer. I killed my best friend and the weirdest thing was I can't remember how I did it.

I walked to the Great Hall picking leaves out my hair with every step. It seemed to be a party….wow and what a party foods were piled up and everyone walked around, socialized with different tables well except for Slytherin. Draco caught my eye, we stared at one another his gray eyes seemed to be drawling me in. Then I heard Kat's voice.

"I was really jealous of the way you handle yourself, now it seems like you don't need me…."

Brittany jerked as if someone had shocked her. Kat's voice sounded as if she was right beside her. 'She would have been there if I hadn't killed her.' She gave Draco a small smile and quickly made her way to the Gryffindor table. She sat down next to Angelina, Katie, and Alicia; they were talking about Quidditch.

"Honesty, I don't know what will happen when we leave here its like waiting for a train wreck to happen." Angelina said the other two laughed but they were all feeling the same way.

"Yum fried oysters" is what I said, hey, I haven't eaten since this yesterday.

Angelina laughed "You're worse than Ron, you know."

"Well Ron ate this morning, cous." I said. Angelina is my first cousin on my mother's side at least before I found out that I was basically adopted. But I wasn't going to tell anyone about it especially Angelina. She might make me give back some of her clothes I "borrowed".

"Why are you worrying about who is playing in Quidditch when the world's most horrible wizard is on the loose and killing everyone?" I said. One thing I can say about my cousin she loves Quidditch….and that she is creative.

"Well Quidditch is a sport that makes everyone happy so it would brighten up everyone's mood." She said with a slight smirk on her face. Despite my mood I laughed it felt good to laugh again.

"Um Brittany are you sure you want to eat those three combinations together?" Angelina asked with her eyebrow raised.

Looking down at her plate, she saw that she was pouring gravy on ice cream which was under her kippers.

"Didn't you hear it's the new rage to look sick?" She said jokily

"Well you're doing a great job of it" Angelina replied going back to her previous conversation. "Anyway I wish there was a way of getting a boot camp over the summer for our Quidditch team."

She shook her head and started to look around the Great Hall everything seemed to be less cheerful, everyone looked apprehensive lots of people had lost family and friends over the summer. The Locks worse of all, a whole generation of muggles destroyed in a second. Brittany saw Kimmy now sitting with the Hufflepuffs, that house lost the most since you know who came back.

I felt sick eating when a war was going on, innocents dying, some not even from you know who…my eyes rested on Harry's brilliant emerald ones I took a sharp breath why was he staring at me? For a minute we just stared at each other not breathing then someone jabbed their elbow into my ribs.

"Ouchies" I replied rubbing my ribs, this seems familiar, "Angie why did you do that?"

"Well I couldn't see you breathing so I decided to jar you out your stupor." She looked a little concerned.

"He has been looking at you all night." She whispered.

"Who?"

"Harry"

"Oh…Why?"

"I don't know why… go over there and ask him," she shoved me with her shoulder, "Go on he won't bite"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah he has been a bit down lately ever since that Sirius Black died"

"What?"

"Harry's godfather…"she trailer off

"I didn't-"

"Hey Britt." A voice said from behind me.

(A/N three guesses who, if it takes you three guesses then I guess it's not that predictable)

I turned around so fast it gave me whiplash I grabbed my neck and tried to look like we weren't talking about him before.

"Er. Hi. Harry"

"Um are you finished eating I wanted to talk to you."

"Uh yeah I'm finished" I moved my untouched food away from me. As I started to get up I saw Ginny walking toward me. I forgot that she was talking to Dumbledore all this time that made me really want to leave.

"Hey Harry, Brittany can I-"

"No, Ginny, actually Harry and I were just leaving." I take his arm and lead him to the door before Ginny can say another word. We head for the grounds my hand is still on his arm I'm no longer leading him he's leading me, we go to the lake.

"Um do you can here often?" I said joking around

"Yeah I do." He said seriously

What in the world? He grabbed my hand and helped me on to a boulder.

"I come here to think about-things" he said looking out into the lake.

I don't know what to say he looks so peaceful, so calm. Without warning I feel jealous of his acceptance of how life can be.

"Harry have you ever wondered what's out there?" I am still standing on the boulder facing the lake. When he answered I sat down beside him facing him.

"I don't know. I just hope when I get there I'll be at peace." He looked so wise I moved back a little. I almost fell backwards into the lake, luckily, he caught me. When he pulled me back up he seemed to be smiling.

"What?!" I yell at him hitting him on the shoulder.

"Well its just…that look at on your face when you were going over." He mimicked a face with the eyes big, mouth opened, and tongue wagging.

"Harry, that was over dramatizing it a little."

"You think?"

She looked so beautiful in purple; I rubbed my arm it starts to hurt when I think about her, that night flash before my eyes. How in the world am I supposed to feel this way; after all that I went through she should mean nothing to me but….

I snap out my revere as she left the Great Hall with Potter. I start to get up, but a voice calls me back.

"Where are you going Draco?"

"Um…just outside, Pansy I-"

"Because I want to go with you." She said talking over me and getting up. "Well come on what are you waiting for?"

"Nothing I guess" I said in a low, disappointed voice.

"Good"

We walk towards the double doors I hold the door open for her, she seems pleased, for a moment I caught a glimpse of Brittany's robe whipping around the corner. Sighing we go toward the woods Pansy is leading.

((A/n: Okay this is a clear up. I wrote this story when I was fourteen turning fifteen. I thought at first "hey look I'll write a story with me in it yay!" SO I made the character Brittany she was smart beautiful a little overweight (not anorexic looking or anything like stories I've read) she was also slightly depressed. Anyway I made her my age that the time, also I had her in Harry's year which was end of fourth year. To make a long story short that was three years ago and I reread my lost story a thought came to my head. "Hey this really sounds like she's in Ginny's year how about I change the year!" I did and now it makes no sense what so ever instead of changing everything about my story or delete it I will just shrug and post. So anyway, for the record this story takes place in Harry's sixth year, Brittany's fifth year, and Angie's eighth year. No worries I'm planning/working on rewriting my story. The first chapter needs to be edited anyway. End note.))

Disclaimer: HP Not mine plot mine