Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If ya need anything more, look at my previous disclaimers.
Lyralei Maxwell was a very strong, important, and self-assured person who hadn't been sick in over a year. So why exactly was she on her knees praying to the porcelain god in the Lady's room? Sirius, that's why. It all came down to Sirius Black. She had just managed to get out of the conference room and head straight here, as the full weight of everything she had just found out and all that she had said hit her in the chest like a two-by-four.
After she stopped heaving, she found out that she had a pounding headache, worse than anything she'd had in a long time. Lyralei sat still for a while, resting her forehead against the cool wall and just concentrated on breathing.
He was back. Oh Holy Shit, Sirius had escaped. It was as if her greatest dream and worst nightmare had come true at the same time. She still couldn't process the fact properly. Now what was she going to do? Before, when the thought of him tormented her, she would bury herself in her work. It was like a haven for her. Now he was to be her work.
The little show she had put on for Crouch's benefit apparently worked, but not enough. Vasrian was to be the head of the investigation, as was originally planned, but they had given permission for Lyralei to work along side him and be given partial command. Lyralei knew she would never be given the lead, for she had her own department to take care of, after all. In a way, this worked out even better than her original plan, because no way in hell was she going to let them find Sirius.
She needed to mess up that investigation, even if it meant sacrificing her hard-earned job and current life. Lyralei cringed as she thought of that. She loved her work. She had devoted almost all her adult life to it. But now, if the investigation did get botched up, and she was careful about it, most of the blame would all come back to Vasrian, not her. It wasn't fair on him, true, but the blame would hit him much less hard than if it was on her.
Besides, she knew Sirius. He wasn't stupid enough to let himself be caught by the Ministry, even if she didn't manage to screw up the investigation. But then again, Lyralei reminded herself with a sinking feeling in her stomach, Sirius was known to be rash and impulsive. He didn't mind doing something stupid and dangerous; in fact, he loved it, the stupid fool.
Lyralei still didn't know what to think right then, or even what to do. As she thought back on what she had said to Crouch during her little outburst, she felt sick to her stomach again. Everyone had been surprised at the passion in the normally stoic woman's voice, but what surprised (and ashamed) her most was the truth in what she said. The fact that, no matter how hard she tried to deny it, she did in some way believe the horrible things she had said about Sirius. She was bitter, even after all these years.
To be straight up, Lyralei never knew for a fact whether Sirius was guilty or not. Unfortunately, all she knew was little more than what everyone else knew. She knew that Sirius had been James's and Lily's secret keeper, and about the whole Peter Pettigrew fiasco. There was something about the story that was off, but she didn't know what.
Sirius hadn't even been given a trial. No one really objected, not when the evidence was so strong. Lyralei, however, needed an explanation. She needed the truth from Sirius himself; it would be the only thing that would help her move on. To what, she didn't know, because he was the thing that kept her going; the fact that he was at least alive.
However, he still had the power to shatter her again, and Lyr hated that. She was sure that one look at him would break through most of the walls and protective barriers that she had built over the years. Bottom line was she needed to find him. Lyralei had no idea what he was after. Harry was a good guess, but it didn't tally up with many other facts. She needed to find him, without the Ministry knowing, and she needed to talk to him.
When it all had happened, Lyralei had no idea what to think. She still didn't, actually. At first, she wouldn't think about anything else but the fact that Sirius had to be innocent, or that there would be a very good explanation to all this. She had to stick by him no matter what; he was Sirius, after all, her Sirius.
Lyralei must have gone through and analyzed about a thousand different theories, each of which was no more likely than the last. But none of that changed the horrible, undeniable fact that Lily and James were murdered, and that Peter had been blown up.
After a little while, cold, hard, calculating reason overcame impossible faith. Then there was the fact that Dumbledore himself believed in Sirius's guilt. That was like a nail in his coffin. Even after all that though, Lyralei kept up a little hope. In what, she did not know, but she was too damn stubborn to give him up completely, especially not when everyone else had.
She went through a lot though, such as years and years of accusations, people never believing in what she said, forcing her to think that she was wrong, and that Sirius had to be guilty. It was enough to shake the strongest person's faith.
So Lyralei stopped obsessing about it, or at least it seemed like that to the public. She went on with her life, somewhat blindly, towards some indefinable goal that had something to do with Sirius, and the mystery that had torn apart her life and gotten rid of almost everyone she loved in one night.
AN: I know, I know. It's kind of blaa. I'm not too happy with this chapter either. The next one will be better though. It's a kind of flashback with the gang and Dumbledore and stuff. Till next time then, and don't forget to press the pretty purple button down there!
And to all you wonderful people who reviewed the last chapter: MWPP, KarenBloody, Sio, and starsweepforme, thanks for the positive feedback. Really 'ppreciate it.