Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN REDWALL! IF I DID, THE ANIMALS WOULD ALL DIE!
Section 1: The Ferrets
Section 2: NO! SWORDS!
Section 3: CHICKENS! O.O
Section 4: Mole Speak
Section 5: Creepy Romance (cross breed, too)
Section 1: The Ferrets
Ok, for English class I'm reading a Redwall book. Mine is called 'Triss.' OH MY F-ING GAWD. THE TRUTH IS OUT! Coughstupidrodentsandvermincough
We'll start with the ferrets.
The Story: Princess Kurda, the Pure Ferret, and all the other ferrets say 'yarr' at the end of their sentences.
OMFG! HOW ANNOYING!
The Truth: They're all mentally retarded, and when they say 'yarr' they drool and make gurgling noises.
((Kurda comes after Authoress Sahrah))
AHH! HELP!
"I'm goink to ged de evil Authoress Sahvah, yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…" (gurgling noise and drooling))
Yes, yes. That was Kurda.
Section 2: NO! SWORDS!
Story: Triss is really Trisscar Swordmaid. She wields Martin the Warrior's sword.
Truth: SHE'S TERRIFIED OF SWORDS!
"Hey, now that's not true!
((Authoress Sahrah pulls out a sword))
"AH! SWORD!"
yup, yup. That was Triss.
Section 3: CHICKENS! O.O
Ok, more ferrets. Mostly because they're the most fun to torture.
Story: Fierce white ferrets- vermin from Hell!
Truth: THEY'RE RETARDED CHICKENS IN DISGUISE!
"Dat iv nod true, yarrrrrrrrrrrrrr… ((drooling and gurgling noise))
((Sahrah pulls off the ferret mask to reveal a chicken))
Section 4: Mole Speak
Ok, does ANYONE KNOW WHAT THE FRICK THEY ARE SAYING?
Story: they're speaking Old English.
Truth: It's actually a mixture of Japanese, French, German, and Spanish.
Ok, that's the truth. This is a one-shot, so this is Authoress Sahrah- signing off!