Disclaimer: I don't own anyone from the television show lost. although i wish i would...
Warning: I don't believe the views I place in my writting, it is strictly for humor's purpose...
And now my story...

Jack:

Day 1:
We crashed on the island today. Kind of sucked. I think I might have broken my jaw. There is this really fat guy here who scares me. I forget his name though. Maybe Hurl? Makes me want to hurl just looking at him.

Day 3:
I keep seeing my croaked dad here. Kind of freaks me out a little bit. I found his coffin though. Jerks at the airport said it wouldn't be on my flight. What posers. This girl here is really hot. Her name is Kate I think. Yeah, I'm going to get it on with her soon. Just you watch me… I will!

Day 5:
This Iraqi man here really scares me. I forget his name… it starts with a C I think…. No, maybe an S…. Carl? Nah, it's not that, maybe it's Sybil…. Hopefully someone will call to him so I can figure it out. Anyway, he like tackled this china man who wanted to kill this other black man… it ended up to be alright then in the end.
This one girl here is really pregnant and it would really suck if she had a breached baby. She is so big. It seems like she could pop any moment.

Day 6:
The Iraqi man tortured the redneck today. I'm even more afraid of him then I used to be. His arms are so thick. Anyway, the redneck man, I think his name is Sawyer…. Yeah that's it. Well, he took some asthma medicine from this other rich girl here who wines a lot. If you ask me I'd say just let her have the asthma attack, damn hoe.

Day 8:
I no longer see dead people. I'm so happy. Kate is so hitting on me. I mean, I was just going my innocent little way over to the waterfall and she came by me and said "Hi." I think she likes me… maybe. If that damn redneck man would keep his horndog in his pants. Damn hick. Makes me mad!

Day 9:
Picked off two fleas today. I haven't washed my pants since…. Four weeks ago. I knew I shoulda washed them before I went on the plane. I wonder if I smell bad. Maybe that's the reason why everyone stays like, five feet away from me all the time. Hmmm.
You know, I think that Charlie is really hot, for a guy I mean. All those stubbles on his little chin. Playing the guitar is definitely sexy. I hope that no one thinks I'm gay just because I like men…