" My Only Weakness "
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story except for Takeshi and Yuko.
. Hello there people! We are now in the third chapter.Yeah! So, we know that Rin's pregnant; which always seems to be the case. So what! Anyway, Now we learn Sesshomaru's feelings for her if any will be given and how he feels about having a child with a human. Get Reading! .
She looked up at him with wide eyes and a look of astonishment. As his hand laid against her face she felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. The thought of having to tell him she was with child was something she would never have taken lightly or had the courage to say, but she would; that is that now she didn't have to and a new feeling came into view. This feeling was that of terror and sadness. How would he react to the news? She searched his eyes for some sort of sign but there wasn't one. She looked on and focused on a flower bead that was just to the left of his head.
" Rin look at me."
She heard the command and had to force herself to obey. Her eyes slowly turned to meet his and the only thing he was looking into were pits of fear and sadness. He felt like for the first time she was actually and genuinely afraid of him. He didn't want her to be that way, not in his presence or even anyone else's. He watched as she tried to move her head back down in fear but he wouldn't let her. He held the side of her face in his hand as he began to speak.
" Rin, why are you acting afraid?"
She stepped back from his grasp and tears came into her eyes and slowly drifted down her cheeks. She could feel their warmth and hated it. She didn't want to cry in front of him but she was doing it any way. She hated herself for that. How could he ask her why she was afraid? She was going to have his child and it might turn out to be a half demon! He even slept with a human! All of the things he hated about his brother were coming true for him too! Couldn't he see that? How could she live with herself when she knew he would not like it? He was acing cool and calm, but inside he was probably a raging storm waiting for her to come close enough. That was one reason that she backed away from him; fear.
" Why am I afraid of you? Why? You don't seem to understand! I am a human and you slept with one! I am going to have your child, which could end up to be a half demon like your brother Inuyasha! I know you don't like humans or half demons, so don't act so calm! I know it's tearing you up inside! You told me many times as a child and how many of those times came out to be true? Every one of them! I am afraid of your wrath in this matter, I know what it is like! Go ahead and do whatever you want with me, but never ask me again why I was afraid of you in this moment!"
She had never yelled at him before, if it were someone else their head wouldn't be attached to their body any longer. He watched as she wiped the tears away fom her eyes and looked up at him. Streaks of water ran down her face even after wiping them away. He did see anger and pain in her eyes and he wanted to hit himself for not explaining his position in this matter faster. He didn't blame her for yelling at him, he did deserve it. He should have said something, but he didn't. Now was his chance. She watched as he came towards her she closed her eyes and waited. She felt his arms around her and she was surprised by his action. She tried to push him away, but he wouldn't let go of her. She pushed against his chest and knew that his strength was far better than hers, but she tried and still failed. He started to whisper into her ear and she began to relax in his show of what she now understood to be a show of affection not anger. She cried into his chest as he spoke to her.
" Rin, I don't want you to yell at me; although I do deserve it for not explaining myself to you sooner. I do not want you to worry about what the baby will or will not be. I am happy that I had taken you into my bed that night and I don't regret it. I am indifferent to the child growing within you. I wanted a son to live on into my legacy and be known as I am, but if it should be a half demon I will take care of it anyway. I hated my brother for loving a human and saw it as a weakness and I didn't like the fact that he had a better weapon than I did. I did however care about the saving of you. You changed the way I lived from then on. You had so many questions and sometimes you annoyed me, but I never got agitated in your presence. Rin you will stay by my side until the day you can no longer breath. You will love our child and I will too. Do not worry about the future, we are here today not months from now. Now, clam yourself and then you will rest."
She looked at him and he saw the smile on her face.
" Will you really have feelings for our child?"
She didn't get an answer from him, but she didn't care, he said he would love the child no matter what; not in those words, but close enough. She leaned up to meet his stance and kissed him on the cheek. She smiled up at him once more and began to walk back into the palace. She smiled to herself the whole way to his quarters. He watches her leave and looks back into the blackness of the night and began to think to himself.
" I'm going to be a father."
He remembered all of the things Rin had asked him when she was younger and how she always followed him around when ever she could. He put his hand to his forehead and then remembered all of her laughter and smiles. He looked at it with a new light and smiled to himself.
She had to cut practice short once again the next day, due to another episode of morning sickness. By the second week of lurching her stomach out she was tired and hated herself. She didn't feel like dealing with anyone. She did want to have a child or even more, but she didn't like the months of waiting. Everything about pregnancy was exaughsting. She puked now, but she knew it would only get worse. She was told all about the pain in giving birth, but everything before that seemed worse. She would also have pain, drowsiness, hunger pains; which meant always eating, and many other problems. She was though, excited to have Sesshomaru's child. She went down to the river again, like every day after her training sessions with the new soldiers and bathed. Their training was almost complete. They had progressed very well, and she was thankful that for a while she would soon be able to work on her own skills when she wanted to.
She held her breath and sank to the bottom of the river and left her mind wonder. She imagined what her child would look like and how it would act. She wanted it so much to be a boy, for Sesshomaru's dreams, but she really didn't care. She had wanted a child since she was twelve years of age. She often dreamed of having her lord's baby, but it never occurred to her that it might happen. And now that dream back then had come true. She came back from her mind and swam to the surface. She took a huge breath of air and smiled.
She decided to visit her old room to make sure everything was taken out when she reached the doors to it. She walked in and decided that since she kept most of her kimono's in her room she would change into one of those. She went to her chest that lay next to the wall beside her bed and bent down to get it. As she opened it up she saw a plain white kimono on top, so she decided that she felt to exaughsted to dig through to find a better one. She picked it up and closed the chest. She made sure that the door was closed and laid the kimono in front of her on her old bed and began to take off her old one when she saw to golden eyes in the corner of her room. She reached down for her dagger on her thigh as the material of her kimono fell down onto her arms and she was bare all the way to her hips. She then heard the familiar voice.
" Rin."
She looked up to see him stepping out of the darkness and sighed a bit of relief out loud.
" You think me to be an attacker?"
" Yes, but not now."
She saw that he was looking at her odd position having her naked in front of him didn't make him feel anything, but apparently she was embarrassed. He began to walk over to her and she began to try to hold the cloth around her chest.
" Rin, stop it."
She obeyed, but stood there with her cheeks rosed over and she knew he wouldn't hurt her. Instead she thought she would in time get used to the thought of being like this in his presence, eventually. She watched as he came behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She felt his warmth and slowly leaned the back of her head against the front of his chest. He put one arm across her shoulders and the other arm around her waist, except; she did not notice if he did it on purpose or not. She suspected that he had done it subconsciously, for he gave no sign of knowing, he placed his hand a few inches below her belly button and kept it that way. She didn't see any hint as she looked up into his eyes for anything that he had known he had done it on purpose, so she just stood there in his arms. It was as if he was trying to touch the small being growing within her. She smiled inside her mind and listened to the monotone voice he presented to her as he spoke.
" Rin, do you not remember that night I took you?"
She didn't really pay attention to his words. She was thankful that all he was wearing was his white kimono and not his bulky armor. Although he didn't say whether he was going to bed. He was now stroking her abdomen with his thumb and she loved his gentle caresses over her smooth skin. A person so many feared for more than one lifetime, was now showing their unborn child affection. He was going to be a good father she thought to herself. She then thought about the compromise she would be in with Sesshoamru's enemies and the safety of the child.
" Yes, I remember, I'm just not used to this new way of life with you. I was always following you around, I was never intimate with you then."
He didn't reply to her comment even though that wasn't anything new. She did want him to at least say something.
" Sesshomaru, what about an abortion of this child?"
He looked over at her and as he watched her lie there on his chest looking back up at him.
" Rin, why would you say that?"
" I just thought that it would bring danger to our child from your enemies and if I am pregnant would that not be even more? I will if you want me to."
She looked up at him with question in her eyes.
" We both know that you want to have a child."
" But."
" You will always be in danger, but I won't let you or our child be hurt. I never want to hear you say something like that again. Understood?"
She took her eyes away from him and answered dryly.
" Yes My Lord."
" Rin."
" Yes?"
He did not want to tell her but it had to be done. He knew she wouldn't like it.
" Rin, when you get along in your pregnancy you will have to leave your duties as a teacher for a long while."
She looked up at him and with fire in her eyes she answered.
" I will not!"
" Yes you will and I'll make sure of it. I will not have you fighting with this child inside of you. It's dangerous."
" You come into my room to tell me what will and will not be done?"
" I am your Lord after all and after a while I will be your husband."
" I don't care!"
He was astonished by another of her outbursts directed at him.
" You will leave your duties Rin, and that's final."
She threw his arms of her and put her kimono on and walked out as she slammed the door behind her. He heard the echoes reverberate through the hallways and knew anyone in his palace could hear it. A young soldier walked by and starred at him as he walked after her.
" What are you looking at?"
The young man stiffened and quickly walked off.
The Lord of the West was furious! He didn't want to make her quit but he had to. If she fell she could have a miscarriage. He would have none of that. She walked into his chambers and slammed the door in his face as he caught up to her. He would get into that room, so he walked out of the palace.
She sat down on the bed and grabbed a pillow lying on the bed and scream into it as loud as she could.
" He makes me so mad sometimes."
She calmed down as she heard his footsteps weaken. She fell back onto the bed.
" I know I could endanger our child, but I don't want to give up my position. I don't want to be just a mom to a child, I want to be a mother, wife, and worrier in my husbands army. I don't want to be weak and helpless I want to be by his side in war also."
He heard this just before he was going to slam back the sliding door from his outside patio to talk some sense into her. Her words stopped him.
He waited a while for her to settle down and gently pulled back the door and closed it behind him. Yelling wasn't going to get him anywhere in the conversation, so he calmed down too. He turned around to see her back lying on his cream silk covers as her hair glided around the pillows adorning the head of the bed. Her legs were tilted to the right on top of one another and her white kimono showed her silky ivory skin all the way up to the top of her thigh; going no higher. She was asleep. He walked quietly over to her and removed the hair away form her face. Her ivory skin looked soft against the cream of his silk blankets. He usually had skins on his bed, but for her he used silk. How could such a girl invoke his emotions to run on high? He didn't like the idea at first, but then it slowly grew on him that he did like her more than anything else in the world. He used to value himself above all else, and now as this maiden lay on his bed he found something to put above himself. He traced with his eyes, a scan of her body that landed on her stomach. Make that two things he valued over his life. He knew that she didn't want to give up her position but she would. He knew she would be a good mother and love this child, but he also knew that her white kimono could also be spattered with blood if asked of her. The irony he felt for her and as she developed, the irony within her actions and thoughts made him lean down and kiss her brow. He then remembered her saying she didn't want to be worthless to him.
" Your never going to be worthless to me. You will always have a purpose in my kingdom."
The call for war was eminent the Lord of the West knew this, but now it was happening. He got word form his Southern allie the next morning. He had all but forgotten about what had happened the night before the chaos started. He had woken from his sleep to large steps going towards his door. He quickly rose out of bed and ran towards the door before it was opened and Rin was woken up. He left her there until it was time to tell her about what was about to take place. He would have no problem telling her about the on coming war, but to make her stay at his palace instead of following along.
He walked outside the door and closed it behind him quietly. As soon as he looked up he saw his allie to the south Lord Mikano. He walked past him and walked into the main entrance into his palace. He began his announcement and everyone stopped as he spoke.
" Our soldiers and allies to the south are going to war with the east and north. No one is to go outside these walls unless being permitted by me and since I will not be here, no one will be allowed outside the kingdom. This time was bound to come and now it has. My second in command Lady Rin will take over my duties."
The lord of the South looked shocked.
" You would let a woman rule your empire?"
Sesshomaru discarded his statement to speak once again.
" You will obey her as you do me and if you do not I will hear about it. Those could be the last insults you give anyone. We leave as soon as possible."
He didn't know that a young woman was listening to him from the corner on the room behind a wide pillar. She just happened to be Rin. She hated the idea of having to stay here. She walked out as soon as Sesshomaru turned and had began to speak to Lord Mikano.
" I will leave an empire in the hands of a woman, for I trust her. Now if you believe her to be so inputent..."
He didn't finish his statement because of the small figure coming toward him. She was wearing her crown and golden earrings. She bowed to the Lord Mikano and then to him. It was the first time she had ever been that proper towards him and he remembered having the talk with her about her public actions. Her hair was pulled back and as the tear that formed the end of her crown came in the middle of her for head her earrings dangled down at the same time. She looked radiant.
" My lord, I do not wish to preside over your kingdom when you are gone, for I wish to go with you."
By the last sentence everyone in the room started moving around as if nothing was happening. He turned toward Lord Mikano to speak.
" Ready the men, we leave immediately."
The Lord of the South bowed to Seshsomaru and walked off. Her lord then turned to meet her gaze.
" You will not go Rin. You are with child and this is far to dangerous for you."
" But, I want to go. I am not showing or anything, it will take a while for that my lord."
" Them knowing that you are a woman is not the problem. You are carrying my child within you and if you were to fall during battle I don't.."
He didn't finish his sentence, for the Lord of the South began to speak.
" Lord, we do not have time to talk, the Western and northern armies are advancing and we need to leave immediately. We wish to beat them on their lands and not destroy our own. It will take us a few hours to reach their territories."
He turned back to the lord and spoke.
" Have the men been told what is happening?"
" Yes, my lord. They know everything. They are awaiting your order to depart, and are waiting outside your doors."
She looked up at him with a worried look. What if he died? He then dismissed the other lord to wait for him outside. He turned back to her.
" Rin, you cannot come! Do I make myself clear?"
She didn't look at him as he spoke.
" Rin!"
" Yes, my lord."
He walked away from her and did nothing to wish her goodbye.
" Good luck my lord."
He still didn't turn as he answered.
" I do not need nor wish for luck, wars aren't won on luck Rin, just strength."
She watched as he swung open the double doors and disappeared. She walked back to her old room and sat down on her bed. She looked out her old patio as her lord flew into the sky on top of Agh-Un. His armies fell to horseback and rode side by side, although some were on foot. She watched as they all marched to a new place she was not allowed to reach. A place she could not reach just yet. She would fight no matter what.
Her idea grew into a plan by the mid afternoon. She knew that Sesshomaru moved fast so she had to catch up. She was lying on his side of the bed already missing him.
" How pitiful I am."
She started to form her plot. She would leave before nightfall and put someone else in charge.
She prepared herself for battle like always. She didn't bind her breasts, but she did dress in armor and she decided to take out her earrings. She did, however leave her crown on. Though she hated it at the start it's beautiful inscriptions and soft gold made her like it. She watched the piece of pearl dangle between her for head off of the edge of the crown. When she stood up from securing her shoes, she watched in dangle between her eyes just above the start of her nose. She looked at herself as she splashed water in her face. She had taken a bath already and cleansed herself. She started to the front door when her maid Tamoko stopped her. She was faithful to her and so she would do.
" Tamoko I ask of you to watch the palace."
" I cannot Lady Rin."
" I am going to fight in this war."
" But the lord will be opposed."
" I do not care I am going and you will watch this place while I am gone."
" I cannot run a palace Lady Rin."
" Then you will learn. Please Tamoko, do this for me. I want to be beside my lord."
Tamoko already being married and remembering when she hated for her husband to leave her and go off into training and war she did as Rin wished.
" What will you tell the our Lord, Lady Rin?"
" I won't tell him you ran the palace, I will make something up."
" But.."
" No. I must leave right away. Goodbye. Inform no one of my departure. If anyone does ask tell them I am ill from pregnancy and need to conduct business of the palace in my room."
" Yes."
Rin walked over and hugged her friend and then began to walk off. She had forgotten about the heavy doors and it took both of them to open one wide enough to bearly get Rin through. She heard the door slam and saw her horse was ready for her. The horse, Zhongcheng, whom she had gotten from China, she loved like a friend. He was pure white. And she loved him. She hoisted herself on his back and leaned down towards his ear. And began to whisper, so that he could hear as his ears pricked up to her voice.
" Please, make haste Zhogcheng."
She patted him on the neck and turned him around. She only rode with herself and nothing else. She pulled on his reigns and he let loose. He ran so fast, she thought she were a streak across the horizon as the darkness zoned in on them. She rode furiously and only stopped a few times for her horse to graze and drink. The rode through the night. She didn't tire him at all he was used to her pushing him, but never would she risk his life. She finally caught up with her lord in the early morning the next day.
She crested a large clearing as she rode on through the morning. She had been through the forest that broke into this clearing and found her lord's army ready in position. She had heard where the armies would be positioned when she leaned in on a few of her lord's conversations with the lord of the south. She came upon the hill and gently coaxed her horse down in to the clearing below. She watched as other soldiers turned to see her. Her lord was no where to be found. She came through the crowd that separated enough for her to get through and she thanked then, but they gave no reply. She saw Yuko who was in amazement that she had defied orders. Everyone was as she noticed their shocked faces. They knew that she shouldn't be out her and so did she.
She then came to see her lord at the front of his mighty demon army. He was once again talking to th lord of the south as she approached, she readied herself for the battle of word she would share with her lord. She watched as the other lord pointed him in her direction and she felt as though she wanted to strangle him.
He saw her and was astonished that she would refuse to obey his strict command, this was no time to get him angry. She approached and he dispersed his right flank under the Lord Mikano's command as she came closer. She watched as they rode away and then he spoke.
" Rin, what are you doing? I gave you orders to stay at the palace and you defy me in front of thousands!?"
She didn't want to look at him but she did. It was a mistake. She saw anger.
" I just wanted to come with you."
" That is no excuse! You could be hurt or even die!"
" I want to lead in this fight! You cannot always tell me what to do! I know the risk I am posing to myself and our child, but I will take it to be by your side in a battle that I belong in!"
He didn't want everyone to hear their conversation, but she made it that way.
" Besides, you have taught me all that I know and I will surly not die! I know you will protect me if need be and I will do the same!"
He laughed to himself. She would protect him? He didn't want her to fight he wanted to lock her away from everyone who looked upon her, but he knew that it wasn't possible, even if he argued with her she would still win. He sighed and then looked at her.
" Take the Left flank and I will take the middle. You know the matters of our maneuvers in war from all of the times that you listened in on my conversations late at night when you were younger."
She was surprised he agreed to let her go and that he had known she was outside his door on those quiet nights. She looked at him and smiled. She took her section towards the west into the forests. She had her friend Yuko with her and even she couldn't help what was to become of her friend Lady Rin.
Lady Rin was at the head of her army as the other enemy came into view far on the other side of the clearing. they looked fierce enough and a good deal for her lord's armies to contend with. She looked back at her army and gave no speech, for they needed nothing to get them into the mood for war. They all at once yelled and roared into the air as the other army did. She watched as the enemy gave his sign to take positions.
Then came the release. They came closer into view every passing second and she watched for Sesshomaru's command, for she knew when he would release his own force. They would win she knew, it just depended on how long it would take. The clouds above them grew heavy and dank with rain, but not a drop occurred. She released her armies at the same time her lord's did. She charged ahead in front of them and grasped her sword and released it form it's sheath. Her training was to be of use now. She was afraid of taking life, but she knew she had to do it. She took a deep breath before the two forces met.
And then with her lungs expelled of air the two forces did meet under the darkness of the heavens, which had seemed to turn into a temporary hell.
. So, did you like it? Please review it! Get ready for the last chapter its going to be a killer! Just kidding, well sort of. See you in the final scenes. .