I.R.Y.R.A.S.M.O

Chapter 2

"My new life as a what?"

There I was standing in fort of the silliest looking man I had ever seen. "You're my what now? And what was that about pointless soles." He looked confused for a moment then a look of realization crossed his face.

"That's right you don't know do you?"

"Know what?"

He looked at me for a moment then sat down in his chair and put a business like look on his face.

"Well for starters my name is Mr. Lavender and your dead. You see you fell and smashed you skull on the sidewalk". I blinked a few time as I digested this

"Okay…..go on." He smiled and nodded and began to speak

"Good, good you got over that quickly normally it takes a long time to get over that. Anyway when people die where do they go?"

"Umm heaven?" he seemed surprised.

"No boy, don't be silly they go to be judged, then they are sent to where they deserver to be." I thought about it for a second

"So I'm being judged then?" he raised an eyebrow.

"No. you my friend can't be judged. That's the whole reason you're here. You see people are judged on one thing how close they come to achieving there destiny." I sat down on his desk and looked him straight in the eye. If there was one thing it was I was a fast thinker and I had all ready put two and two together.

"So what your saying is I have no destiny". He seemed impressed.

"You catch on fast boy"

"Well I try"

"Good to know as I was saying you having no destiny can't be judged and as such this office was made to deal with souls such as yourself." He smiled.

"So far you're the only one … ever"

"O joy and rapture."

"You represent a great opportunity for us." I shrugged

"Lucky me. So I take it you want me to do something"

"Why yes." He stood up and walked over to a file on a shelf on the back wall. He picked it up and flipped it open.

"This is the complete history of an entire universe." I looked at him like he was nuts

"Its one page."

"Yes well it's in the angelic language it only needs to be one page". I could buy that I guess. He began to read from the page

"In this universe there is a child about to be borne with no soul."

"Well that's a dilly of a pickle isn't it?"

"Yes vary anyway we want you to be this child, it is vary important it be there"

"Umm no?"

"Well to bad you don't have a choice"

"Fiddle sticks"

"You'll be sent right away. Good luck you'll need it." I narrowed my eyes

"I you de realize that I hate you with a fiery passion that rivals that of a million suns." "That's nice good buy o and by the way the girls name is Ami minuzo."

"What!" and in a flash of light I was gone.

When the light passed and I could see again all I saw was white. It took me a few seconds to realize it was a ceiling I felt kind of dumb.

(Okay so where am I now, let's see I can't seem to move my head, it's warm and fuzzy? O it's a blanket. A pink blanket. O I get it I'm in the maternity ward… and I'm a girl. I hate my life.) It was at that point I was picked up by what I guess was a nurse. I was carried in to a stereotypical hospital room where a tiered woman was lying in bed. They began speaking.

(What the... o great I have to learn a whole new language. This just gets better and better.) I was passed to the woman in the bed my new mother I assumed. She began to fuss over me in a typical new mother way she seemed vary happy despite my total lack of understanding the language. At that point another woman walked in. the chatted amicably for a few moment as the nurse left I picked up the name Nadoka but other then that I grasped none of the conversation. The woman who came in leaned over to me and started making baby noises.

(Ironic the only thing I can understand and its gibberish.) I frowned at her just out of spite. She seemed upset about it. I know it was mean but it made me feel better. I thought about crying but decided not to after all if I was who I thought I was then I hade a battle coming and when it got here I was going to be ready. After all I hade more then 12 years to plan.

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Evilcat22: hey all thanks for the reviews they have been a big help despite the rudeness of one of them. hopefully the rewrite has made my story more palatable. Next Chapter seem me grow up, see me screw up, see me blow up!

Until next time remember "The Universe is a beautiful and wondrous place, and it wants to kill you."