Authors notes: Even though I only got 1 review (Thanks eckles) I thought I'd update. Smeh. I have no life :P
Rating: PG-13
I find myself on the cold floor, light finding its way through the window to heat my skin. My eyelids flutter open at the sound of movement "Hermione" I hear him call to me as his footsteps come closer to the door. "Hermione" he repeats, his tone more rough as the door-knob slowly turns. He looks at me like I'm crazy, lying in a silk night dress, on a white tiled floor, in the middle of winter. I don't blame him, how could I? If my past self was to look upon what I had become, I'd probably have slapped myself black and blue. All that from a look. It seemed to resolve my choice even more.
I can still read his face like a book and he mine. His brow was furrowed as he looked me up and down but my expression doesn't change. "Ron" I say feebly while getting to my feet "we need to talk" It was as if I had said the magic words because he answered as I had not expected "I know"
His gaze remains fixated on mine, as if he is hanging on my every word. He knows what is coming, I feel it, but the words don't come out. I want to tell him that I love him and always will but tell him that his love isn't enough for me. I want to blame him, but yet blame myself for keeping up this lie. I want him….but I need to be able to love myself again before I can love him. That's the problem, how is it possible to give love to another when you have none for yourself?
I feel my eyes burn as I push back tears, averting my gaze from him. I keep telling myself he needs to hear these words, he needs to know how I feel. "Ron" I repeat even weakly, he doesn't answer "I…" I stumble over my words "this has to end"
I look back to him, his face is filled with such love, yet pain and confusion. It mirrors my own. Funny how I'd planned everything to say for years and yet when the time comes my mind is blank.
I want him to answer me, to get angry, anything but the silence that now faced me, yethe doesn't answer. He simply turns away and walks through the door, grabbing his coat and leaves the apartment. Hearing the door slam a gush of tears pour down my face, as if they were never going to end.
I want this, I kept reassuring as I forced my legs to take control and walk out of the bathroom. I didn't want to be here when he got back, he knew better than to think twice about what I had just said. He was never one to fight, for me that is. Maybe that's what I want? For some recognition that he actually still wants me, and loves me? Wiping my eyes again, I stumble through my wardrobe tofind something tochange into thenthrow some clothes in a bag, take my keys and mimic his actions.
"The only problem is, where do I go?" I questioned myself as I pull out my phone and ring the only number that comes into my head. No matter how I feel about it, it was my only option.
"Hello, I need…." I stop because I already receive my answer "Thanks" I say quietly as I walk down the block of stairs and onto the street to wait. It seems to be the only thing I ever do.
Authors notes: Even shorter I think but what do you think? Please review, is it going to fast or slow??