Origin: Magic Knight Rayearth
Disclaimer: All CLAMP's, not mine. The characters and MKR are property of those ladies, not Starflower-girl's. I really don't have the time or energy to fight in court right now, so just listen to me when I say: Not my characters, not my MKR.
Genre:
for the trilogy – romance & angst
for the second chapter – angst (and romance)
Rating: PG-13
For this second chapter, the story is a bit... Well, maybe somewhat strange and not too nice in the end. Rated for the theme, crumbling bliss as you might call it. The rating could be lower, too, seeing as this is pretty much a non-action chapter. No gore, which is..a good thing, right? This is my favourite MKR girl, Fuu, but I'm not letting her have a happy life, am I...
Author's notes and summary: This is indeed a trilogy type of fic, and each part deals with one magic knight. It's sort of hard to sum up, but let's just say that the first one is about Umi, the second one will be Fuu and the third one Hikaru. The main idea is that this is a romance fic, pairings are UxC, FxF, HxL (but I must warn you about the third chapter – do not read that one if you don't like any kind of yaoi stuff. Implied and maybe more than that..LxE in the third chapter). Storyline-wise, well, I took a few liberties here... It's after MKR ends, but you might find the timing somewhat odd. All I can say is that it's the whole point here... But read and review it, let me know how you felt. Oh and... The other chapters will be posted anyway, don't try to tell me that I shouldn't. I'm trying to make all three different. Okay that was a lot of ranting over nothing, but just – enjoy it if you can. In this second chapter you will find some repetition of the first, in form of some scenes that included Fuu. I'll try not to repeat too much but I want to try some point of view changing. Bear with me. And if you don't like it, then, that's fine by me. I know it's no epic story, just one of my drama style fics. I usually write harsher stuff, this is one of my few attempts at a somewhat neutral kind of story. I think. Anyway in this chapter, the story isn't fast-paced. Be aware of that.
For my reviewers: Thanks a lot, and I really do find most comments accurate. I was told that Umi and Clef were out of character, and that is true. I decided to take liberties here, to suit my own style of writing. And I know it's not great, but the truth is that I kind of like writing different kinds of stories and I wanted to try a nightmare sequence story with repetition. I got some comments about it being good, too, which encouraged me to write a section like this for my summaries... And I hope you guys can still find it in you to read and review this second chapter as well. Oh and the out of character stuff about Clef, maybe this chapter clarifies things up a bit. I think the third one will, but then again, I warned you about it already, so...
--To Have And To Hold Trilogy – My Everything --
by Starflow
---
Darkness spread across the room and veiled her in its shade. A figure cuddled up on the bed, nothing but a stiff figure she was. The silence was almost too holy to break and she tried her best to keep it that way. No, she was not even crying.
She heard him get up and say:
"I'm going for a walk. You can sleep here, I'll see you in the morning."
Footsteps matched with her own heartbeat, slowly fading in the silence. He was walking down the corridor and the door closed behind him.
Fuu squeezed her pillow tighter. Her large emerald eyes were dry, she wasn't able to weep – even though she felt that holding back the tears was killing her. Crying would have been too dramatic, too immature after all that she had done. At times like this, all she wanted was to be able to return to the time when nothing had happened.
Sitting up as the sun finally rose, Fuu looked around her. The room was large and seemed so symbolic, somehow. It was very nice and it had all the potential needed, but ironically enough, it had fake pillars. The roof was supported artificially, the pillars wouldn't have been able to hold it up anyway. Fuu swallowed and got up. Walking to the window with her steps steady as clockwork, she wiped her eyes. Not that they were wet, just been open for a long time.
Looking into the distance, she wondered how she had got here.
---
It was the first evening after their return to Earth. Hououji Fuu, the sweet and mild-tempered girl who was expected to endure anything, was in her room. Alone, as she didn't feel like facing anybody.
"It's really... The end, isn't it", whispered she to her image in the mirror. She wrapped her arms around herself and sat on the floor. "So warm", smiled she and tears emerged in her eyes. "The memory of you."
Fuu sat there for a long time. She cried for her love, she hurt, but she did not despair. Fuu promised herself and that afterimage of Ferio that she'd stay smiling, strong until the end.
Morning was still far away, the moon was too cruel to light up the room. The shadows seemed to be getting darker and Fuu hugged herself tighter.
"Never been up this late before", said she to the memory. "I guess I'm making you worry again, please forgive me..."
"Not exactly, since I've been looking for you for ages already."
Fuu bounced up. In shock, she gazed at the empty room around her and her heart stopped for a second. There was nobody there.
"Fe..Ferio?"
"Yeah... I'm sorry for scaring you."
"Where are you? I cannot see you here, Ferio." Fuu was still looking around her, as if she expected to find Ferio standing there. The voice certainly was close enough for that kind of thing. But still, she was the only living soul in the room and she was starting to wonder if she was dreaming.
"Cephiro, of course", sighed Ferio's voice. He sounded tired.
"But – am I dreaming? How is this –"
"Hello, Fuu..." It was a very familiar voice and Fuu suddenly felt her heart jump with joy. Clef. Clef was there, so this had to be some kind of magic. Only Clef might be capable of this. "How are you faring?"
"I'm alright, thank you." Fuu bowed, then realising she was alone and laughing at the habit. "So am I to presume, that this is your doing, master Clef?"
"He has been helping me in my quest to find you", said Ferio, now sounding a bit more hopeful. "For a long time already... But I'm really glad he finally found you."
It had only been a few hours since they had come home. Fuu, however, was reasonable enough to understand that when Cephiro was in the picture, nothing as insignificant as time was an issue. Time flowing at will, stopping if it was wished to... Cephiro indeed. Fuu sat down and sighed, and the long silence following that was awkward.
"I – um – missed you, Fuu", tried Ferio then. "I missed you a lot and..." A strange kind of awkwardness could be heard in his voice. "...well, like I said, I missed you."
"For you it has only been a brief moment since you returned home, has it not, Fuu?" Clef was interfering now. Ferio made a frustrated sound in the background.
"Why yes, master Clef."
"Here in Cephiro, it has been almost a year already."
Fuu was shocked. A year, he said? One whole year and for her, not even a day had passed yet? How could it be – and if a year had indeed passed, had Ferio been looking for her for a year?
"I was afraid that –" Suddenly, Clef took a sharp, deep breath, and Fuu heard some noises in the background. Clothes moving against each other loudly and Ferio yelling something, another sharp sound of inhaling, and a thump as someone collapsed to the floor.
---
Fuu walked to the railing and looked down at the grounds. The balcony was large. She had everything she could possibly have asked for, but nothing seemed to matter. She heard people talking and children laughing. Little by little, she started to accept her fate.
"I am going out now", said she to the room as she returned there, and got no answer. He just nodded, with his back turned on her. Standing there, looking out into the distance, as if he didn't want to be in the same space with her.
"Meet me at dinner, then."
Fuu closed the door behind her and as soon as she was out of the room, she felt a lot better. With a tone of irony in his voice he had asked her for dinner. Fuu had become so submissive, she actually agreed to come. She was wearing a green dress, more beautiful than she had ever had on her – day by day, these dresses got more beautiful. More expensive. More formal.
---
In the large garden, she met a familiar face. Eagle turned to face her, and surprised but gladly, he asked her to join him for a walk. Fuu just took the offered arm and he led her along the path.
A happy chat was able to cheer her up. Eagle was indeed very different from what she had first believed him to be, and it embarrassed her to remember that they had been enemies. Now, with things as they were, Fuu felt that this former Autozamian commander was her only friend in Cephiro. At least Eagle Vision was not trying to benefit from her being here, neither was he treating her as air. Eagle was simply letting her act as if she was the girl she'd been back then. Not once had he asked after Fuu's friends, either, simply because he knew that Fuu already had a lot on her shoulders.
"Just how ironic is that..."
"Pardon me?"
"Nothing... I got a bit distracted. Forgive me, Eagle-san. You were saying?"
As they walked down the path, Fuu noticed a dark figure on the path crossing this one. She was about to greet him, but he just turned around and swiftly walked away. She felt uncomfortable, but all in all she was happy that he'd let her be. No matter which one of those men it had been, and it had probably been Lantis – Fuu didn't feel like seeing them now. Some part of her wished Ferio would have gotten angry at her for spending time with Eagle, jealous. Ferio never said anything like that. He was too cold, too emotionless... Or maybe he just knew that with things this way, Fuu couldn't possibly be focusing on Eagle more than a certain chaotic joke of a marriage.
---
As they walked together, Fuu found herself examining Hikaru's new attire. She was actually wearing a long-sleeved T-shirt and a very nice, long skirt. Hikaru looked different. Fuu hadn't realised it earlier, but the door she had come through was a hairdresser's. She let Hikaru talk about her day, about how she had been getting a makeover. Fuu smiled, and said:
"I support you all the way, Hikaru-san. This is very courageous of you."
"What?" laughed Hikaru, clinging to Fuu's arm. Some girls laughed at them, two young ladies walking around like grade school best friends. "You know, Fuu, I think there might be a way to return to Cephiro."
"How do you know?" Fuu's voice was so intense and the way she looked at Hikaru so interested, that the redhead blushed.
"I don't, really. It's just that I'm pretty sure we will all go back there some day, you know?"
Fuu just smiled. That very same night, Ferio would tell her the same thing. That there might be a way to return to Cephiro.
---
"Are you ill, Fuu?" asked he, and his tone of voice was almost concerned.
Fuu couldn't answer. She had suddenly hid her face in her hands, but she couldn't say another word. Somehow, she was just feeling incredibly weak right now. Her pain was immense, and she didn't know where it came from. It was both hot and cold in there for her, and her consciousness was fading.
"Fuu? Hey – Fuu –"
She woke up in her own bed. He was not there, only Presea was.
"Are you awake? Good, try to drink something. Here..."
Fuu tried to lift her hand to take the offered glass, but it was too heavy. The glass fell from her powerless hand and Presea caught it, barely. The girl fell back down on her bed.
"Where..?"
"You're in your own room. I'm here to look after you. Ferio told me to stay, he said you fell unconscious during dinner."
With that thought in mind, Fuu fainted once again.
---
Fuu greeted Umi's boyfriend, this Ei-kun as she had called him.
"So, Fuu – would you and Hikaru like to come to my place sometime? Say... Call me on Saturday. No, Sunday – I have fencing finals on Saturday."
"Umi-san! Can we not come to see you fence, then?"
"You would like to come?"
"Oh but of course!" Fuu clapped her hands together. She was ecstatic. Umi seemed so happy, so fully recovered. Fuu herself was still charmed by the idea of talking to Ferio again that evening. As the girls agreed to meet at the fencing finals, Fuu thought about how well things were in her life now. She left Umi and Eisuke-kun, and jumped on her heels all the time while rushing home.
Maybe someday, she and Ferio would be married and then Umi-san and this Eisuke-kun could visit them in Cephiro. Hikaru-san would be there as well, of course. Fuu would make her friends the godparents of her children, when she had those.
"Maybe they will have your hair, Ferio? Would you like to see that?" mumbled she to herself, while cutting the seaweed. "And my eyes... They'd be green like this seaweed here..." Fuu giggled to herself.
---
She could have sworn someone was touching her forehead.
"You..."
"She's awake." The voice was familiar, but so incredibly disappointing. It was Lantis, Fuu recognised him through the mist in her eyes, brought by the high fever.
"So will she be alright?" asked Presea, and Lantis answered something about her being stressed out and ill but not in a critical state. Fuu herself was simply too tired to feel anything but disappointment. He was still not there, even though Fuu felt like she might die of this.
"Don't be silly. Nobody is going to die." That was Lantis, speaking straight to her mind. "Just rest up and you will be alright."
He then got up and footsteps told Fuu he was leaving the room. Presea thanking him for the diagnosis, the man muttering something about it being his duty now... Fuu's grip of reality was lost again.
---
"Hikaru speaking!"
"Hikaru-san! It is me, Fuu here, I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"No, this is wonderful timing. I just came home from the gym."
"The gym..?"
Hikaru talked about how she had been training hard during the past few days. She intended to make it a habit. The conversation went on for a while, but as Hikaru stopped talking about herself and asked after Fuu's condition, Fuu had to think of something to say.
"I have been busy with school, lately", lied she. She told her conscience to stop bothering her – after all, she was only trying to spare her friend the worry. "But the reason I'm calling is – would you like to go to the fencing finals on Saturday? Umi-san is competing."
"Yeah! Of course! It'll be so much fun..!"
They talked a while longer. Fuu, however, was feeling a bit nostalgic and blue. How long would this keep up? Ferio was sounding more and more determined to get her back to Cephiro, and her friends were seemingly moving onwards... Fuu was selfish, and she didn't like this new side of herself. How could she be so irresponsibly planning on leaving her friends, her family, her life?
---
As Fuu knocked on the door, Lantis told her to come in. Fuu did, and asked:
"Have you seen Ferio lately?"
"He was here just now", replied Lantis with a strange, dark smile on his lips. Fuu's raised eyebrows asked what it was about, the man just shrugged and said: "I'd rather not get involved. This is your own business."
"Has he been talking about it with you, Lantis-san... I mean master Lantis?"
The black-haired man just shook his head, but not to answer the question. He meant that Fuu shouldn't be asking him at all. This made the girl resent the man even more than she already did, plotting with Ferio behind her back, seeming to have forgotten all about who she was and what her position was. Lantis was playing some kind of morbid game, it seemed. He had been like this for ages already. Ever since... Ever since the time he had first placed that circlet on his hair, a crown forged for him, the new master mage of Cephiro.
"So, what brings you here? Am I to presume that you're looking for Ferio and thought he might be here? After all, you ought to be resting. It's not good for anybody that you're already up."
Fuu was startled by this kind of arrogance. Lantis was nothing like he had been back then... Back when Hikaru had loved him. Fuu knew all about the way Hikaru was trying to grow up, in order to be worthy of facing him if she could return here. What was it this man was trying to accomplish by being so insensitive and annoying?
"Perhaps." Fuu's voice was cold. She was infuriated, not only by Lantis but everything about this situation. "I thought I should inquire after my friends. Have you heard anything of master Clef recently?"
Lantis's eyes flashed in a weird way. It could have been pain.
"It is now clear that he has passed. Master Clef is... He is definitely gone now. I haven't been able to reach him in a long time."
Fuu bowed her head. She had cared for Clef, deeply. He had been their master and guide, after all. The master mage of Cephiro.
"Is it absolutely certain, then? That he is not..."
"Presea found a letter addressed to Umi in his room. It seems that... The envelope cannot be opened by anyone but her." Lantis sat down and offered Fuu a seat as well. She sat down, gracefully, somewhat distant. "Even I can't figure out what it is exactly that made him forfeit this position... Passing it on to someone who..."
A long silence followed.
"I am sure Ferio is expecting you for dinner already."
Fuu just got up, walking out of the room. She went to the dining hall and he was indeed there, and in total silence she let him be. She went straight to her room and closed the door, standing there, leaning against it for a long time afterwards. Fuu's head was heavy, it felt like it might burst any second now. She felt sick, she wanted to sleep, just losing herself in memories of happier times.
---
Standing in front of this store, Fuu felt incredible. With the money she had got from that waitress' job, she was going to buy it. She had reserved it, thinking about how she would return to Cephiro wearing it... That white dress, with its long hem and laces, with those white gloves that made it look like a wedding dress... So white and so unbelievably pure, shiny, new, blessed.
Fuu felt surreal, walking down the hallway, with the box in her hands. She had taken the step. Now, all that remained was the final jump to the unknown future.
"Fuu-chan!" Hikaru ran at her, waving her hand and looking excited. "It's almost time for the fencing finals already!"
"Oh, my goodness... I just came here to buy some flowers for Umi-san and get this dress for... For my sister." Fuu smiled in an innocent way and Hikaru's smile widened.
"What kind of flowers?"
"I don't know yet. Maybe lilies would be appropriate. But I doubt we have enough time..."
Just as Fuu had hoped, Hikaru offered to buy the flowers. Fuu could pass them to Umi, since it was her idea – but the redhead would buy them. That way Fuu could take the box home first. And as she ran off, with the white dress in hand, Fuu felt guilty. So selfish, so wrong. This was all wrong. Why did it have to be so secretive and so sudden?
---
Fuu took a sudden weak step, almost falling down. A sudden pain in her stomach, as if someone was twisting a knife stabbed through her.
"Miss – are you alright, Fuu?" Eagle was holding her up, looking concerned. Their walk in the park was interrupted by Fuu nearly fainting again.
"I feel dizzy", wheezed Fuu. She could barely see anything, her eyes were blurry. "Could you..."
"Certainly. I'll escort you back immediately. We both know sickness is not to be taken lightly."
Gratefully Fuu clung to the man's arm, and Eagle swiftly led her back. Again, a dark figure was about to cross paths with them, but turned away.
"Lantis!"
The man stopped as Eagle called his name. Lantis turned to look at them, and his stiff figure melted to move towards them as he saw Fuu's state. Eagle explained the situation to him, and Lantis offered to carry the girl. Fuu tried to resist, but with Eagle's help, Lantis was able to lift her up against her will and carried her back inside. The worried white-haired man followed them, and as Lantis reached Fuu's room, Ferio met them in the corridor.
"What –"
"She is still ill", answered Lantis to the younger man, who opened the door. "She never recovered from the previous time, so it's coming back."
"Is it... Fatal?" Ferio's voice, so emotionless and collected, hurt Fuu's ears. She couldn't hear the rest of the conversation. Scarcely feeling how they put her down on the bed, she drifted back into her memories of those last days on Earth.
---
Why was it that Fuu couldn't talk to Ferio tonight? Clef had been seeming sick for a long time already, but had something happened tonight? Fuu sighed and tried to sleep. She was lying on her back, on a mattress in Umi's room, and the other two were asleep.
Maybe Fuu was too hasty in leaving them, after all. She turned to look at Umi. The girl's face was extremely tired and it seemed she was having nightmares. Fuu herself, she had been tired as well, but it was due to the nightly talking. She had such a dark shadow in the back of her mind. Umi, however – there was something seriously wrong with her. Fuu held out her hand to wake her friend up from that horrifying sleep, but she let it drop halfway. How could she possibly leave these girls behind? The thought in itself made her sick.
She turned to look at Hikaru. Hikaru seemed like a child in the moonlight, so different from her new self and so similar to the previous one. Fuu wondered if she could realize that dream someday. Going back to Cephiro. Hikaru had something to finish, there. Lantis, Eagle, all that. Fuu moved a stray lock of hair closer to the girl's head, and smiled. She felt nostalgic. To think that she might never be able to see these girls again, it was something she could barely comprehend.
That was when Umi screamed.
Fuu and Hikaru shouted, holding her still. Umi was twisting and turning, trembling, as if someone was killing her. Fuu felt enormous worry flowing through her veins, along with guilt. As she comforted the girl, all she could think about was how cruelly she was going to leave her friends.
"Everything is going to be alright", kept she repeating, until it became some kind of chant. Hikaru sitting in the window, Umi shivering and crying in her arms, Fuu felt so incredibly hollow. She wondered if she was telling this to her friend, or to herself.
Obviously, she might be able to make things better if she went back to Cephiro. Maybe there was something wrong with Clef... Umi and Clef seemed to be somewhat close to the same wavelength, realised Fuu. They hadn't been too close, but after all – Clef had some kind of soft spot for Umi. The master mage was in trouble, and Fuu knew it. That morning, she decided to do it. She bid her friends farewell, wondering when she could see them again. If she could ever see them again.
---
Fuu opened her eyes and regained consciousness just in time to see Ferio entering the room.
"How is she doing?"
"Still weak", replied Presea. "But I think you could ask her yourself, she's awake now."
The woman got up and left them alone for a moment. Outside, Fuu could hear Lantis saying something about Presea not knowing her place around here. Something about the situation not being appropriate. About Fuu's condition not being strong enough to go through another quarrel.
"They're wrong", said Ferio suddenly. He stood farther away from the bed, not letting Fuu see his face. The shadow veiled any thoughts he might have shown. "About us quarrelling. Wouldn't you say?"
"Why are you here now?" was all Fuu could get out. She was tired, and this was too sudden. She hadn't had time to fully wake up, and now Ferio – who hadn't been there for her – was standing nearby in the room.
"I figured I should." Ferio seemed to waver a bit. Fuu could have sworn those amber eyes were directed at her now. "It is... My fault after all. And you're my responsibility."
"There was a time..." Fuu gave a tired laugh, looking into those eyes she couldn't see but rather sense in the dark. "A time when you might have said that you came because I'm your beloved wife."
Ferio didn't say anything.
---
Everybody seemed to be so happy to see her. Ferio ran to her, embraced and kissed her the moment she appeared in the middle of the hall. Lantis, after performing that kind of teleportation magic, fell to his seat and Eagle handed him a glass of water. They were both looking at Fuu and Ferio, and they were smiling. Presea, she just ran to her and hugged her. The same for everyone else.
"I'm happy to have you back, Fuu", sighed Ferio then, turning to Lantis and thanking him. "I trust you're smart enough to rest now?"
The black-haired man nodded. Eagle helped him up, and together those two left the hall after welcoming Fuu back to Cephiro.
"He's Clef's successor, you know", said Ferio to Fuu. "Clef, he... He left this world to Lantis. Seeing as Lantis's magic is strong enough and even though he resents being chained this way, he's a good man. Master Clef... I think you came here to find out what happened to him?"
Fuu nodded, and added then – with a smile on her lips:
"And I also came to accept your offer."
Ferio had never seemed so happy before. Fuu would remember that smile until the day of her death, maybe even beyond. So happy, so bright – it burned an image into her eyes. That smile was all Fuu ever wanted, Ferio's smile. Her everything.
---
Fuu didn't know how long she'd been lying on that bed. She didn't know how long she had been sick, and she didn't feel good at all – but she had to get out of that room. When there wasn't anyone watching her, she simply got up, slipped a pair of shoes on and wrapped a long green cloak around her. Wearing only those clothes, she walked out into the park.
Lantis was there. Fuu was about to turn away, when she heard him say:
"So you don't think any of it is your fault, then?"
"I didn't say that."
"I'm too familiar with her condition and the current status of your marriage to be an outsider", sighed Lantis to the figure of Ferio standing close by. Fuu stood in the shadow, charmed. She had never heard these two talk about her before. Some part of her wanted to run, but a masochistic little voice told her to stay.
"You know why she's so weak", said Ferio then. Lantis didn't say anything, just nodding. Ferio fell silent as well. Then, Fuu heard her husband say: "I don't think I'll be visiting her anymore. As long as she's that weak, she and I have nothing to do with each other."
Lantis's answer was something about Ferio doing what he found right, but Fuu had had enough. She ran off in the other direction, and she didn't want to hear another word. That was when she met Eagle again.
"You should be resting, miss", exclaimed Eagle. He was wearing a warm-looking cloak himself, and took it off. Placing it on Fuu's shoulders he offered her his arm as well. "I'll escort you back."
"He hates me", started Fuu suddenly, as they walked along the path. "Ferio does."
"I'm sure it's not –"
"You don't know what happened, do you?" Fuu looked at Eagle and the man shrugged. "Or has Lantis told you? Maybe the grand master mage, as he is now, told his friend."
"He's been avoiding me for a long time already. I'm afraid you have no right to accuse me of scheming anything, miss." Eagle's voice was so offended, the look on his face so hurt, that Fuu felt bad. She apologised to him and sighed, as they reached the doors leading inside.
"So you do not know what happened, then, Eagle-san?"
"I only know what I've seen myself", replied Eagle. Looking at her in a very pleading way, he added: "Neither do I wish to find out more..."
Fuu nodded. She then gathered her strength and out of the blue, even, hugged Eagle Vision.
"Thank you, Eagle-san." Fuu let her face rest against the man's chest. "I think I should rest some more. Will you visit me, Eagle-san?"
Eagle shivered slightly.
"I don't believe that to be a very good idea, miss. I think I really shouldn't get involved."
"I believe you are entitled to feel that way, Eagle-san."
Eagle fell silent, seemingly grateful. Fuu let go of him and gave him his cloak back. They stood there for a while. And then, Eagle bowed and took her leave, but said before going:
"I know things will work out. They have to. Just have faith."
Fuu didn't exactly know what to have faith in. Her own strength to survive, Ferio's past feelings, the uncertain future here, the past with her friends... Maybe it was not about any of those. Maybe there was nothing to fall back on, and nothing to take her forward, either. She stood in the window for a long time, looking into the distance.
A knock on the door made her shiver. Ferio opened the door and came inside.
"Lantis says you were outside earlier on."
"And if I was?"
A silence fell between them.
Fuu feared moments such as this one. Had she been more sick and weak, Ferio probably wouldn't even have bothered to ask what he inquired next:
"Do you wish me to stay here tonight?"
"What do you think?"
Ferio turned his back on her and walked away. Fuu was left looking after him. She fell down on the bed and closed her eyes, unable to cry. Maybe even unable to care. Nothing changed the fact that Ferio wasn't there for her.
---
As much as she loved him, her dreams were now shattered. Fuu lay on the bed, emotionally in ruins, physically in pain. The first moments as man and wife had been happy indeed. But now – it was night time, and his presence only brought her pain.
"Fuu – I –"
She sobbed and turned away from him. Ferio sighed and said something about being sorry, but she had no answer for him. She couldn't speak. She cried, hysterically she cried, and he held out his hand to comfort her.
"Don't touch me!"
As she screamed that, Ferio pulled his hand back. He wanted to help her, but couldn't do anything. Fuu knew he wanted to help, but how could he possibly have understood anything about her? Ferio lay still for a long while, and all Fuu could think about was that she wanted out.
---
As Fuu woke up in the middle of the night, she found herself in greater pain than she had been in quite a while. It was physical pain, too, not only emotional. Screaming, Fuu called for help. Presea rushed into the room immediately, bringing Lantis with her as well. The woman held her still and the man pressed his hand onto her face, mumbling a silent spell. To calm her down.
"What is it that she has, exactly?" Presea was sounding protective and angry. Looking at Lantis, she exclaimed: "How can you simply keep me in the dark? I'm supposed to take care of her but I don't even know what the disease is – and you, you do nothing but whine about how people shouldn't get involved!" Presea took a glass of water and threw it at Lantis. "I object!"
The master mage took the hit. He let the glass shatter against his face and a narrow stream of blood ran down his cheek. The water did the same. Presea started at Lantis, scarcely believing her own eyes. The man could have dodged the glass with ease.
"I can't talk about it", said the man then. "I took an oath of secrecy, Presea. Trust me, I do not enjoy my current situation."
Presea was silent for a while. She then sat down and sighed:
"You should get the wound healed."
"I need it to remind me of my sins", said Lantis dryly, and walked out. Presea was left with the sick Fuu, who then wheezed:
"Tell me... Where is my husband now?"
Presea tried to ignore her. She didn't want to make things worse – but Fuu was persistent. She kept staring at the woman with her half-open emerald eyes. Finally, Presea had to answer. She told the girl that Ferio had been informed of the state Fuu was in, but he had not wanted to interfere. He was indeed cold towards her. Especially since Fuu had already figured out what it was that made her so weak, a long time ago. And she was certain... Certain that it could be the end of her.
---
Fuu looked at him and he turned his glance away from her. He had balled his hands to fists, and Fuu could see some blood dripping from within them – he was controlling his temper, obviously.
"So now that I stand here before you", began she. He still didn't look at her. Fuu took a step closer to her husband and grabbed him by the chin, forcing him to look at her. "Can you still say you have nothing to do with me?"
"I never said that", answered Ferio silently. The look in his eyes was far from loving.
"Oh yes you did. I may be dying, but I can still hear."
Ferio's eyes flashed with anger. He raised his hand to grab Fuu's arm.
"In that case, where was your hearing when things hadn't gotten this bad yet?"
Fuu blushed, angry, and shook his hand off. Ferio's eyes were still cold, as he suggested it was understanding that Fuu lacked – if not hearing.
"You... You sick..." Fuu couldn't swear. She knew no words for it. Instead, she slapped him with all her power – not much, considering her condition, but still an act of anger.
For a heartbeat, neither of them said anything. Ferio then suddenly spat:
"It's not like I can do anything that would make you feel any better. I know it's me who hurt you, but to be honest I don't even care now. This was all a huge mistake. We should never have brought you back here."
Fuu went pale. Ferio's breath was heavy, he was seemingly furious. He had a horrifying smile on his lips, too, an inclined and emotionless smile.
"How can you say that?" asked Fuu quietly, and Ferio flinched.
"Do you not regret it, then, Fuu? As my wife here... Your life is far from bliss."
Fuu couldn't answer him. She held out her hand to touch his face, but he didn't even seem to feel it. She had no idea when their love had ran out, or his, but it was over now. There was nothing... Nothing to make him see her anymore.
"So cold", said Fuu all of a sudden, "the memory of you..."
Ferio was obviously thinking similar thoughts. He closed his eyes and pushed Fuu away. Turning his back on his wife, he sighed:
"That ring on your finger, Fuu... It's nothing but a chain, am I correct?"
Fuu placed her ring hand onto her stomach area and looked into Ferio's eyes. She finally got a tear to appear, saying:
"You chained me with it, but the moment it became too heavy to bear was when another chain emerged." She cried, at last she was able to cry.
Ferio looked at her, and she saw a tear shining in the corner of his eye as well. In silence, he touched her face and she closed her eyes, letting him.
---
Ferio sat on the floor, holding that beautiful memento. Not only that, realised he, when it started to cry in his arms. He looked at it, through the veil of tears that was so fresh. The child had its mother's beautiful green eyes and its father's hair, just like Fuu had once imagined to herself. Ferio watched the child calming down, and he let the long lost love he still felt for its mother flow into the infant.
"I will raise you with all the love left in me", cried he to it, squeezing the memento in his arms. "As the heir you rightfully are, even if your existence reminds me of her every day."
Ferio turned to look at the bed. The lingering warmth and the smell of blood were making him sick, but he didn't want to leave her side. Never being there for her, realised he, was the fatal mistake he had made.
The ring on her finger was shining, and Ferio couldn't tell if it was the moonlight mocking him, or some kind of final goodbye.