2/06/05 I decided to go back and edit some things in my stories, seeing as how I have yet to brainstorm and come up with the next chapter for this one. Somehow I remembered a review someone sent me, pointing out a flaw, so I decided to correct it and I thought, ' hey. I'm doing this one, so I might as well correct the others if there are any.' I found some. Though they were just slip of the finger. So I corrected it. Some great people you all are. Couldn't even tell me about a little mistake. I hate crap like that. I am the type of person that gets irritated easily. So it irritates me when I miss something stupid like that. I have yet to finish off Sephiroth. That bastard keeps turning me into a friggin' toad and I'm getting tired of it. Though awesome, I have a bone to pick with the game developers: WHY THE HELL IS HE EVEN STRONGER THE HIGHER YOUR LEVEL? That just ain't right.

12/13/04 So? What did ya think of the first chapter? You like the title? Cool, ne? I think it's kind of appropriate for the CloudxAeris relationship so far. Obviously from Lacuna Coil's song of the same name. GREAT song. GREAT artist. If you like Evanescence, you'll probably like them. They're from Italy. The album is called Comalies. So? You like it thus far? The story, I mean. I'm kinda iffy about it. But hey - I'm just trying my legs out. OOOO! Bet ya didn't see that comin'. You didn't think it would be her, did ya? Did ya? Of course you didn't.

Disclaimer: Good thing I bought all these little slave kids - I mean o0 good thing I "hired" this great bunch of kids to do my disclaimers for me. Less work for me! They're such good evil apprentices  XD

Evil squeaker apprentices: Jing Xiao Jie wants the people at home to know that she doesn't own any of the characters in this story. They are property of the good people at SquareSoft/SquareEnix. If they were hers she wouldn't be doing this. She would have an evil empire hell bent on taking over the world and she would enslave the Bishie community to be her own personal -…

Jing:silences squeaker apprentices -' hahaha… These people don't need to know about THAT. Or my plans for world domination. I've already said too much. You all will be maimed for this.

Evil squeaker apprentices: Bu! Xiao Jie qing wen…

Jing: SILENCE! You know the law. Somebodyhereneeds to be strangled…

Evil squeaker apprentice 3:mumbles You never maim Chichiri…

Chichiri: o0'

Jing: ponders You're right... BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE FOR! chases apprentices and maims each, especially 3 bc he has a big mouth. Sits back down sweetly I would never maim my Chiri-kins He's just too cute! huggles Chiri

Just enjoy my fruit of thought…That sounds odd…

This song is one of my favorites. I was listening to this while I was writing this chapter and I heard the third line and I was like 'holy crap'. It's kind of creepy when you look at it from Cloud's point of view. VERY appropriate for this one, me thinks.

Playground school bell rings again

Rain clouds come to play again

Has no one told you she's not breathing?

Hello I am your mind giving you

Someone to talk to

Hello

If I smile and don't believe

Soon I know I'll wake from this dream

Don't try to fix me I'm not broken

Hello I am the lie living for you so you can hide

Don't cry

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping

Hello I'm still here

All that's left of yesterday.

"Hello" by Evanescence

Chapter 2

"The Anguish of an unsmiling watcher."

The dark sky, filled with angry swirling clouds, reflected Cloud's mood as he sat on the step of his home. All he could seem to think about was Tifa's outburst in the car. He was quite irritated now. Not only because she had ruined his mood and decided to get all gushy on him, but because she brought up things that for years he had pretty successfully repressed in his mind. Women were indeed strange creatures and they definitely came from another planet. She had no right to bring up things that she didn't understand. All those horrible memories came rushing back in a sea of turmoil and emotion. He was confused to no ends.

His head was clouded with many random thoughts and questions that he had never stopped asking himself since then. 'what ifs', 'whys', 'what happened'. All those past pains and memories that had led up to this point. He gave a light snort. Tifa did pretty much everything except propose to him. Now THAT would be something. But then again Tifa was going out on a limb then and it was quite the achievement for her to come out and tell him how she felt. Proposing would be out of the question. After all, her pride would never allow her to do such a thing. She had to salvage whatever dignity, if any, she had after that little outburst.

Aeris. His mind did a 180, making his thoughts return to his dark and brooding disposition he had taken up. He saw her die right before his eyes. He held her as she slowly slipped away. He felt her heart gradually stop its beat, and they all watched as her body sank down to the bottom of the reflecting pool. It should have been him. He wanted it to be him. He wouldn't be feeling this way if it had been him. Duh. Of course not. He'd be dead. There wouldn't be any brooding on any level. She didn't know it, but in the end, she had saved them all. She died a martyr and she became their savior. And she would never see the good she had done for the planet. Aeris… His thoughts started to overwhelm his mind. Fresh tears started to form. He grabbed at his hair and fell to his knees, letting out an angry, pained cry.

What was it all for? Why did he even go on? Was there any point without her here? More questions. Everyone had reassured him over and over and over again that he wasn't to blame. He just couldn't believe that. He could have done something to save her. She didn't deserve that. Well, no one did, but her least of all. He was ashamed of himself. It took him days to muster up the courage to finally tell her mother. When he finally made the trip and went all the way there, he stood out there in the cold rain for hours before ever knocking on the door. He couldn't bring himself to look her in the eye. He kept his head down, never once looking up at her. She understood why he was there when he was so silent. But she had said that she had known all along. Knowing was one thing, hearing it was another. She sobbed a good deal before she came up to him and embraced him. He was quite shocked by her actions. She had known why he couldn't look at her.

He stayed with her for a few weeks, helping her out the best he could. Though he didn't say much, it was all she needed. She was the one who told him that it was all right to cry. He was shocked when she said it. Cry? Him? Could he cry? He didn't think it was possible. But even as he thought about it, his body started to betray him. His eyes already moist with tears began to let down their barricade, his lip started to quiver and his shoulders started to shake. Try as he may, he couldn't get it to stop. When she embraced him, it only got worse.

He would admit that he had teared up before, but he had never flat out sobbed. He found that after that day he did it quite frequently. And he thought he was so strong. The strong guys didn't cry. He must not be a strong guy. And here he was. Crying. Again. You're weak.

As if mimicking his actions, the sky let free its own tears. He didn't even feel the cold rain on his body. He could only feel his heart being ripped, trampled, and stabbed at. Yet again. He wanted to die. He didn't want to bear it anymore. He didn't know how much longer he could. His spirit had left him. He was nothing but an empty shell. At least he could be with her then.

I tried to kill the pain

But only brought more

I lay dying

And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal

I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming

Am I too lost to be saved?

Am I too lost?

My God my tourniquet

Return to me salvation

My God my tourniquet

Return to me salvation

Do you remember me?

Lost for so long

Will you be on the other side?

Or will you forget me

I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming

Am I too lost to be saved?

Am I too lost?

My God my tourniquet

Return to me salvation

My God my tourniquet

Return to me salvation

My wounds cry for the grave

My soul cries for deliverance

Will I be denied Christ

Tourniquet

My suicide

"Tourniquet" by Evanescence

(A/N: Angsty, ne?)

He slowly wrapped his arms around his trembling body, either in an attempt to comfort himself or to quiet the sobs wracking his entire body.

"Aeris…," he managed a choked whisper, "forgive me."

Thanx to VenusBlade and Tacofoolio for their reviews. Blows kisses

Hopefully I'll have a new chapter for you guys up in afew days or less. XD