I do not own anything besides Cassie and Bella!! Also I took some dialogue from my favorite book! Hope you enjoy hehehehe.

Redbird 07

Lapse or Shouldn't

Ummmm….she had never felt so good in her whole entire life. She was lying to Sirius' arms cuddled up against him…she fit perfectly was all she could think. Yet, she was embarrassed. Yes, she was covered with the blankets of his bed but she had never ever let another boy see her completely naked and what she just shared with this guy…was the most amazing thing ever. All she wanted to do was just sink into his side and never leave him. But she had to go…she couldn't stay this could never happen again. She was letting him become to important and special to her again…and she couldn't allow herself to be hurt. Maybe he was asleep?? He hadn't moved for awhile and hadn't said anything either. His arm was around her waste maybe she could just slide…..

"Hey, where are you going?" She heard a voice from behind her

"Uhhh…" she turned to look at him. God he was cute, his hair was tousled and he looked very satisfied. He then pulled her back to him and kissed her.

"Stay with me." He said, "Be with me again."

"Sirius I can't I'm sore." She said and blushed.

"Baby I'm sorry I hurt you. It hurts the first time for everyone." He then kissed her on the nose, "It will be better the next time I promise."

"It didn't seem to hurt you much?" she said accusingly and again tried to get out of the bed…where was her towel anyway? Before she could leave the bed though he caught her again and pinned her beneath him.

"It doesn't hurt boys like it hurts girls. Weren't you ever explained the birds and the bees McAllister?" He said with a grin then started to kiss her neck.

"I don't understand why it didn't hurt you though because it was your first time also." She said matter of factly. Sirius then stopped kissing her and looked at her straight in the eye.

"It wasn't my first time. I thought you knew that?" She immediately stiffened underneath him.

"Who else have you been with? How many times? How old were you? When? Where?" She asked…where had this sudden burst of jealousy come from? This was suppose to be their first time together!...and pushed him off of her and sat up in bed. Sirius then propped himself up on his elbow and said,

"Uhhh you don't know who she is she is from back home. She wasn't the only person that I have done it with. I have been with only 4 others. I was 15 the first time. Does that answer all your questions Nancy Drew?"

"Did you sleep with her too? Nancy Drew that is?" Cassie asked angrily and grapped his shirt and put it on and got out of bed.

"Why are you so pissed? I thought you knew this wasn't my first time?" He then threw the covers off himself and got out of bed and started to approach her.

"Will you put some god damn clothes on please?" and she threw his boxers over to him. "Oh my god what is that on your sheets…is that blood?" Cassie asked in shock. He was right in front of her now and she tried to go over to the bed and investigate the sheets but he grabbed hold of her arm and kept her in front of him. "I had to break your virginity….you bleed the first time usually." Cassie's eyes started to water up and she felt very vulnerable then…oh my god she had a boyfriend…how could she forget Amos...Sirius then hugged her and said, "Baby its ok. Shhhhh."

"No." Cassie said and pushed away from him. "This isn't ok. This can't happen again I have a boyfriend." Sirius stiffened at the mentioning of Amos. "I need to go. Holy shit look at what time it is…someone could walk in here at any minute." She then started for the door. He however was too quick and stopped her.

"Fine let someone walk in." Sirius was all of a sudden furious. What did she mean this could never happen again? "I love you dammit. I told you that. And you would have never let things get this far if you didn't love me too." Sirius said accusingly.

"This was a lapse in judgment Sirius. I never meant to let it get this far."

"Oh so I'm a lapse. Perfect. I have never been someone's lapse before." He said bitterly and started to look for some pants.

"You know what I mean Sirius."

"Do I?" he said while putting a pair of jeans on. "Frankly, sweetheart, I have no idea what you mean anymore."

"I shouldn't have done…"

He then whipped his head around to face her, his hot, flashing eyes at odds with his bland smile. "Now I'm a shouldn't? Excellent. Even better than a lapse. Shouldn't sounds much naughtier, don't you think? A lapse is merely a mistake."

"There is no need to be so ugly about this."

He then cocked his head to the side as if he were truly considering her words. "Is that what I'm being? I thought I was acting in a most friendly and understanding manner, Look, no yelling, no histrionics…"

"I'd prefer yelling and histrionics to this." Cassie said

He then scooped up her towel and threw it at her, "Well, we don't always get what we want, do we, Cassie? I can certainly attest to that."

"Sirius, I'm with Amos. I can't do this to him."

"Oh but you can do this to me?" He said with his voice rising. He sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands. They were quite for a minute then he looked up at her and said, "You want to know what, I'm done. I've done everything. And now…I'm just done with it. I'm done chasing you Cass…I can't do it anymore. Now I'm not only hurting you as you say…but now you are also hurting me."

"Sirius I…"

"No. Just leave." She then held her towel close to her and walked out the door. Sirius didn't see the tears streaming down her face when she left.

Cassie didn't know what to do. All she could think to do was cry. When she got into her room she just threw herself on to her bed. God what a mess. What was she going to do? She then all of a sudden heard the door open and heard Bella's and Lily's voices.

"Cassie what is the matter?" Lily came running over to her bed side.

"Honey, why are you crying?" Bella asked with the same amount of concern as Lily. She then looked at both of them and tried to smile a little for there benefit,

"I'm fine really. I'll be ok." She replied

"Why are you in Sirius shirt?" asked Lily. And then Cassie promptly burst into tears again.

"Now see what you did Lil, you made her cry again!" Bella then pulled Cass into a hug and glared at Bella. "I'm sure she has a perfectly good excuse for being in Sirius shirt."

"I slept with him." Cassie said in between hiccups.

"Excuse me." Bella said and pulled Cassie back from her to look at her.

"I had sex with him." Cassie said and a fresh wave of tears came, "and then I told him he was a lapse and a mistake."

Bella stunned said, "I don't know if that was such a good thing to say right after you two made love Cass."

"Bella shut up your making her cry again." Lily said and this time she hugged Cassie.

"I'm just saying that lapse and mistake were probably a poor choice in words." Bella said to Lily then looked and asked Cassie with curiosity, "Did it hurt? I heard it hurts."

"It did hurt…but it was wonderful." Cassie said whipping her tears away then sighed. "I know I shouldn't have said that to him it just popped out. I have a boyfriend."

"And you love Sirius." Bella said matter of factly.

"You are right I do love him. But I'm just very confused right now. I don't want to get back together with him just because we had sex. I need to think about stuff. And figure out what to do…" she said considerately. Then her eyes started to tear up again, "He said he is done with me though."

"Oh honey. He didn't mean it he knows your hurting. But so is he. He feels rejected just give him some time ok?" Lily said.

"I know and I will. I'll talk to him again and try to explain better to him." Cassie replied

"If I would have known that you were going to sleep with him when you left the locker room….did it really hurt that bad." Bella asked again. Cassie just laughed and said,

"Bella yes it did hurt…but I will not regret sleeping with him. It was the most magical thing. But I'm not saying that I would just go out and do it with anyone now, I love Sirius and if I didn't love him I would have never done it."

"Oh ok….Remus is going to want to have sex now too." Bella stated

"Not just Remus…James too prolly." Lily sighed, "See what you did Cassie!" Lily said laughing; "Now we might have to do it too!" They all laughed at that remark.

"Just make sure that you truly love them first." Cassie said seriously. "Where are those two anyway? They usually follow you two like lovesick puppies."

"Oh well Remus is at a Potions study session." Bella said.

"Yeah, and James is with Maureen giving her the play book for quidditch." Lily said.

"I can't believe you just let them go off Lil, I would have followed them." Bella said

"Yes, but I trust James and he won't do anything." Lily replied

"Yeah….but will she try something?" Cassie asked

REVIEW REVIEW PEOPLE!!!!