Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei, I'm just borrowing it for a bit.

Calculated Risks by silvershadeus


The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live. - Leo F. Buscaglia

Tatsumi pushed the door to Watari's lab open, and stopped short when he saw that the lights in the main room were dark. Stepping inside, he glimpsed a soft glow coming from the direction of the back room and raised an eyebrow.

While it wasn't exactly…odd…to find Watari working odd hours, it was still somewhat…dismaying. He really didn't take care of himself as well as he should have. "Watari?"

"Back here, Tatsumi." Watari answered, sounding slightly distracted. "Just putting things in order."

Frowning, Tatsumi followed the sound of Watari's voice to the back room, and paused in the doorway when he found Watari facing his bookshelves with a book in hand, although he didn't seem to be aware of that fact.

"Watari?"

Watari sighed and set the book in an empty space in the bookshelf before turning to face Tatsumi. "I was just…thinking."

"In the dark?"

Watari snorted and gestured at the desk lamp that was giving off a decent amount of light for its size. "Hardly. Wakaba gave this to me along with a surprisingly stern lecture about proper lighting and other things I'm fairly certain my mother told me at least once."

Tatsumi smiled at that, not missing the affectionate look on Watari's face as he glanced at the lamp. "What were you thinking about?"

Watari shrugged, walking over to the desk to pick up another book, though he made no move towards the bookshelf. "Something I read."

"And that was?"

Watari shrugged, resting a hip against the desk as he regarded Tatsumi closely, book still in hand. "That fear of the unknown is greater than we think."

"Oh? And how do you figure that?" Tatsumi asked, eyebrow raised.

Watari shrugged once more, gaze dropping to the floor. "Well…let's try a hypothetical question, all right?"

Tatsumi frowned but nodded agreement, curious as to what was truly on Watari's mind. "All right then, let's have your hypothetical question."

Watari smiled, still looking at the floor before lifting his eyes to squarely meet Tatsumi's. "What would you do right now if I kissed you?"

Tatsumi stared, not entirely certain he'd heard right. "I'm sorry, it sounded like you just asked –

Watari set his book aside and stood, smile softening as he took a step towards Tatsumi. "If I kissed you right now, what would you do?"

"This is…this is your hypothetical question?" Tatsumi asked, still not quite believing what Watari had asked him.

"Oh yes, hypothetical. Absolutely. Of course."

Tatsumi's eyes narrowed at the answer and Watari's complete lack of…sincerity.

"In that case…I'm not sure what I would do. Hypothetically speaking, of course."

Watari's smile widened slightly. "Hypothetically speaking."

Tatsumi cleared his throat, and found that it was damnably difficult to pull his gaze away from Watari's.

"Ah. All right then, let's try something a little easier on the nerves." Watari said, taking another step towards him. "What would you do if I were to…I don't know, ask you out to dinner?"

Once again, Tatsumi found himself unable to answer. He rather suspected Watari was doing this to him on purpose, but had no actual proof of that other than –

"Tatsumi?"

"I would…this is still hypothetical, correct?" Tatsumi asked, eyebrow raised.

Watari nodded and took another step closer. "Of course."

"Well then, I suppose that I would…" Tatsumi stopped, eyes narrowing as he considered the question further. "Just dinner?"

Watari nodded, his smile gaining a rather disconcerting edge. "In line with my earlier question it would be a dinner date, of course. Flowers and chocolates might be involved as well, now that I think of it."

"Hypothetically speaking."

Watari simply smiled. "Oh, yes. Hypothetically speaking."

Tatsumi frowned, watching Watari watching him as though he were a particularly -

"I think that…I might not be strictly opposed to the idea." Tatsumi said, sounding almost as though the words had been dragged out of by force. "But this is hypothetically speaking."

"Oh, well of course it is, Tatsumi. If I were to ask you out on a date I certainly wouldn't bring you flowers. Or chocolates."

Tatsumi felt the tiniest bit…offended by Watari's remark, though he kept his silence on the matter.

"That would be so very…cliché, don't you think? You don't really strike me as the flowers and chocolate sort of person, anyway."

"Indeed? And what sort of person do I seem like to you?" Tatsumi found himself asking.

Watari shrugged again, that strange little smile in place once more. "I'm not exactly sure, really. Something…a little less…common, maybe. Unique."

"I don't think – "

"But that's…what's the saying? Putting the cart before the horse, isn't it." Watari mused, eyeing Tatsumi thoughtfully. "In order to me to have the slightest idea of what to bring you there would have to an actual date planned."

"Watari…"

"And of course there would be the whole matter of where we would go, what to wear, and all of that. It's all really a little bit overwhelming when you stop to think about it, isn't it."

There was some truth to that, Tatsumi supposed, but judging by the way Watari was looking at him at the moment…

"Are we still speaking hypothetically?"

Watari cocked his head to the side. "Would you like it better if we were?"

"I…" Tatsumi frowned, running their conversation through his mind and came to a decision that left him feeling the slightest off-balance. As though he were on the edge of something he didn't have a firm grip on. "I don't think so, no."

Watari smiled at him. "Then now might be a good time to ask you for that dinner date, wouldn't it."

"Why now?" And perhaps that wasn't the wisest question he could have asked, but he needed to know.

Watari sighed, understanding the real question between them. "I was tired of being safe, Tatsumi. If that's how things are supposed to be then I guess I just don't see the point."

"This…was what then?" Tatsumi asked, something like amusement in his voice.

Watari shrugged, gaze dropping to the ground, a small smile hovering on his lips. "Something of a calculated risk, I think."

Tatsumi smiled a little at that. "Dinner, then? It's rather late."

Watari looked up to meet his eyes, smile something like Tatsumi couldn't remember having seen before. "I think I'd like that."

Tatsumi returned the smile, and stepped aside to let Watari to go first. "I'm afraid I don't have any flowers or chocolates for you, however."

Watari laughed, gifting Tatsumi with that brilliant smile once more. "Next time then."

Following him out of the room, Tatsumi thought that he liked the sound of that.