Carousel (part 15)
The murmur of soft voices and the steady beep of machinery broke the stillness of the infirmary as several people waited at the bedsides of their teammates.
"Broken and battered," Beckett thought to himself as he studied his charges; so much damage because of one individual's misplaced desire to find acceptance. Rubbing his hands over the stubble on his face, he stood over Rodney and stared at the small green glowing object attached to the man's chest. Rodney was unconscious; the failsafe should have kicked the device off. Why hadn't it deactivated?
Unless… Turning to face the rest of the room, he took in the worried glances from Weir, Teyla, and Ford. Doctors Zelenka and Grodin were resting comfortably considering their injuries. And Major Sheppard lay silently next to McKay, still under the affects of the anesthesia from his surgery to repair his shoulder. All of the people who the scientist allowed to become part of his life since joining the Atlantis expedition were in the room. Almost all had been affected by Kolrin's instability.
What if Rodney was still blaming himself? What if his subconscious wouldn't let go of the idea that because of his actions in besting Dr. Kavanaugh, his friend's injuries were his fault? What if he didn't want to let go of the shield so as to penalize himself for the pain he thought he caused the others?
Making his way back to Rodney's side, he gently placed his hand on the cool forehead of his annoying friend.
"Carson?" Elizabeth had come to stand beside him, sensing that the Scottish physician may have an idea how to help.
"He won't let go," he said quietly. "He's punishing himself."
When she didn't question him, he continued. "Remember the first time he wore the device and we discussed that if he truly wanted, he could take the thing off? It's not coming off now because somehow in that over analyzing brain of his, he's come to the conclusion that as long as he's this way, he can't cause anyone else to be hurt."
"So how do we convince him that he's wrong? That we need him."
Dr. Beckett sighed. "People who come out of comas often recall hearing others speak to them while they were incapacitated. We need to let Rodney know that he wasn't to blame for all of this and that it's time to let go of the shield. If he doesn't, his body will soon shut down."
"He'll die?" Weir whispered.
"Yes." The cold hard truth of the simple answer hurt even him as he said the word out loud.
"I'm not ready to let that happen, doctor." Reaching down, Elizabeth pushed aside the blanket and grasped the scientist's cold hand. "Rodney, I know you're in there listening to me," she said as she touched the side of his face. "It's time to turn off the shield. We need you to come back to us. John, Peter, and Radek need you. They're right here with you, Rodney."
Glancing up, she caught Teyla's eye and motioned her over. "We need to talk to him. Make him understand that he's needed."
The young Athosian woman nodded, placing her hand on the top of Rodney's head, speaking quietly to his still figure. Moments later, Lieutenant Ford joined them.
They all took turns encouraging Rodney while Carson monitored the surrounding equipment. Seeing an increase in the EEG, he motioned for them to continue.
A slight shuffling sound from behind them had them look up to see Peter standing beside Carson. The shaking pale Englishman placed his hand on Rodney's knee, offering his support. "I believe you told me earlier that it was time for me to wake up, Dr. McKay. Well, the same goes for you now."
It seemed like an eternity as they spoke to the quiet scientist. Beckett was sure that they were getting through, but why hadn't Rodney responded? Glancing about, he studied the major's still form nearby. Nodding to Ford, he motioned towards the bed, "Slide him a wee closer so that we can rest his hand on Rodney's arm."
Once done, Carson leaned close to McKay's ear. "Can you feel that, lad? John's here. You kept him safe when you stopped the bleeding in his shoulder. He's gonna be fine soon. I imagine the two of you will have quite a tale to tell when you're both up and about."
What they all waited and prayed for finally happened. The shield stopped glowing.
Carson instantly inserted a large bore needle into Rodney's arm attached to a large bag of glucose. "Come on, lad," he encouraged, "you're doin' just fine now." Casting a quick glance about at the others, he nodded, "I need to run some tests and get him stabilized. If you all could step back and give me some room."
Elizabeth nodded as she took Peter by the arm and led him back to his bed. Ford and Teyla returned Sheppard's bed while a nurse pulled the curtain closed around the physicist.
Sitting or resting in silence, they listened as Beckett talked behind the curtain, issuing orders for tests. A heavy weight they carried earlier now appeared to have dissipated from the room. Rodney was going to be okay.
Elizabeth walked silently through the room, stopping beside each person and touching them softly on the arm. Her crew was safe again. No, she mentally corrected herself, her friends were safe again.