She had begun to mumble something about the dreams she had had, and then thought better of plying her new-found companion with her neurosis.
He was eying her with amusement, as if she was waking up with a hangover rather than a concussion from a crash landing.
"I'm Carth, Carth Onasi." One of her first impressions of him was his hair, falling with such carelessness into his eyes that she had a sudden impulse to brush it aside for him.
"Revan."
Wait. This wasn't right.
"Revan!" Katrina groaned. It was Bastila, her mouth obviously somewhere near her ear for how loudly she was trying to rouse her.
The name sounded as out of joint here in reality as it had in her memories.
"What's that smell?" she said, grimacing. The air was pungent with what resembled the stench of rotten kinrath eggs.
"I doubt you're referring to our slightly singed hair. I can only assume it's the product of our surroundings."
If the Telos on the other side of the field had been a wasteland, Katrina was at a loss to find a word to describe this side of Telos.
There was no semblance of color anywhere. The sky was gray and black with storm clouds, bolts of white lightning silently shooting out every few seconds. It was still as a graveyard. Even the sound of their breathing sounded loud and obtrusive amid the finality of silence.
She found that she couldn't breathe through her nose and gasped through her mouth loudly. The air was thick, heavy, and saturated.
"Is there enough air here?"Katrina panted to Bastila, who was breathing in much the same manner.
"The extensive bombing in these areas-"the Jedihad to stop, catching her breath. Bastila's carefully chosen and eloquent words seemed to be too much to say in this air. "-may have tampered with the atmosphere of the planet. There may be less oxygen."
Just how much less Katrina hoped she wouldn't have to find out.
They pushed themselves up from the ground, Bastila stumbling for a moment and grasping Katrina's shoulder.
"Are you hurt?"
"My ankle." Bastila moved it slowly to elucidate the point.
"The Force is helping with the pain, but we'll be in trouble should we have to run again."
She was tired of running. If something threatened them again, she was going to stand her ground despite what Bastila or anyone else said.
Blackened mountains of former structures or local fauna stood around them. In some directions large groupings of dead trees stabbed their jagged limbs into the sky.
"Well, at the very least I doubt there's many people around here to try and stop us,"Katrina murmured resignedly. They began walking forwards. All directions seemed to hold the same thing.
The earth was incapable of growing or supporting anything. In some places it was as fine as sand, in others cracked and decaying.
"Somehow, we must get back to the other side and convince the authorities that we are not the enemy."
You aren't the enemy. I am.
"Are you kidding? They'll shoot first and then shoot again and then maybe ask questions."
"We cannot allow relations between Telos and the Jedi to degrade any further. This planet will not survive without all the help it can get."
Secretly she didn't blame Telos for their distrust of the Jedi. The Council seemed to operate in its own world by its own principles, and everyone who doubted their wisdom didn't 'see the light'. She was a Jedi and she was struggling to hide her entire identity.
The Jedi were full of lies.
"Haven't you been listening? They don't want help. What they want is to be left alone to cuddle their blasters and hide in their playpens." Bastila frowned.
It wasn't her quasi-mentor's disapproval that made her feel sick to her stomach. It was the fact that she heard herself say these callous, unsympathetic words and knew that she was responsible for everything there was to feel sympathetic about on this planet.
She had done these things and yet she was standing here saying she would not help repair them.
"Revan, I fail to understand-"
"Why do you keep calling me that?"Katrina said,stopping dead in her tracks, the name like the screech of a mynock and too harsh to bear.
"Why do you fail to answer to it?" Bastila demanded.
The two stood for a moment, facing off.
"That's not who I am."
"It is who you are, even if you don't remember it."
I do remember it and that is what eats away at me until I can't bear to hear the name.
"You still go to great lengths to hide it, even greater lengths than the Council had been willing to."
The fact that they were willing to hide it at all speaks volumes.
Somehow, when Bastila called her Revan it upset her more than anyone else. Canderous Ordo had called her it incessantly. Juhani called her it from time to time. Even Carth had called her Revan at least once.
Of course, the one time he had done so had been on the Ebon Hawk, right after the name had been shown to her in all its murderous glory to be hers. Right after he had said, in that ice cold tone that she had never heard from him before or since, what he would do to her if she in any way went against the Republic.
The name held nothing but unhappiness for her.
"Do you blame me?" She was trying to yell but the thick air made it come out as more of a wheezing noise. "I'm responsible for this entire planet!"
"But you are not responsible for it staying this way!"
Jedi do not fight with each other. Jedi do not barrage each other with their personal struggles, despite one of them having helped give them to the other.
She ignored Bastila's closing remark, continuing forward.
They must have been near one of the major cities. The piles of debris and ruins were more populous and close together.
"I wonder what the name of this place was once," Bastila remarked.
"Right now I'd say 'hell' is a pretty strong contender."
Something shifted in a pile of debris near her right. Katrina held out her lightsaber.
There was no wind to move it. Either the forces of gravity or something living was at work.
"Could anything live out here?" she murmured to Bastila.The Jedismirked back at her.
"We are." Both moved cautiously towards the pile.
"Hello?" Katrina called, half expecting something to crawl out and answer her calmly. At this point, Malak could burst out with his lightsaber blazing and she wouldn't be surprised.
"Don't hurt me,"a small high pitched voice, ethereal and breathless as if carried on a breeze answered. She glanced at Bastila.
"We won't hurt you. Come out from there." A figure finally emerged from behind the pile. It was a young woman, filthy enough to have blended in without them ever noticing. She smiled at them.
"I knew you wouldn't. You're Jedi, aren't you?"
"If you don't hate Jedi as much as the rest of the planet seems to, then yes," Katrina answered.
"Who are you? Are you living out here?" Bastila asked. The young woman was small and moved with speed and grace despite her appearance.
"A lot of us live out here. This is all that is left of Telos. The Telos we used to know, at least."