Distance

by Appuru

She told him to go away, maybe go away forever. Now that he's gone, she's learned that just maybe...she can't handle the distance. [SonAmy, oneshot]

Title: Distance

Genre: Angsty Romance (it figures.)

Pairing: Sonic x Amy

Summary: She told him to go away, maybe go away…forever. Now that he's gone, she's learned that just maybe…she can't handle the distance. SonAmy

X-posted : Sonic Zone Forums (Shadow-Phantasm)

Contact :

Disclaim: Sinful does not own or use the Sonic characters for personal profit or gain.

Comments: A bit of old fanfiction re-edited and ready to hurl itself into the pit known as the Sonic section of Sort of OOC, but I kind of set this sometime in the future, and I expect Amy would grow up and realize her love is 99.9 unrequited. And at least try to do something about it. Oh yes, and to the lyrics of Distancewhose artist I seemed to have forgotten. Damn. Different formatting for "", but that's intended. So…that's it. Read, review, whatever.

‹‹---››

Distance

By Sinful Serenity

‹‹---››

Years of pining after a person really teaches you something.

I've learned that it's possible to love someone too much. To the point where you feel so close to them you can't tell where your soul stops and theirs begins. When your beloved becomes so intoxicating you can't live without them, can't breathe or eat or sleep.

And every night your dreams will be filled with that special person. And every song you hear will seem to be about them, too. I learned that when you love someone too much—you forget everything else that's important as well. Then the world fades away from around you and you're lost in your heart and your feelings.

So I told him to go away.

It was only later that I realized how much my decision had hurt the both of us.

The sky has lost its color

The sun has turned to grey

At least that's how it feels to me

Whenever you're away

It was a chillingly cold summer night; the kind of kind you're sort of glad is here to cool down the heat, and yet it tingles down you spine in an unpleasant way. The wind was blowing too, tossing my pink quills in my face, and the red headband I always wear did little to stop it.

I'd just come out of the grocery store, shopping for ice lollies to share with Cream next time she came over to make use of my apartment's mediocre air conditioning. I held the box tightly clutched in my hands, letting the semi-frozen cardboard cool my palms. I was thinking about—what else do I think about?—Sonic.

Sonic, my hero. Sonic, the guy I loved. Sonic, the only one I couldn't stop thinking about.

At first it was a crush. Then it was one-sided love. Then it was an obsession.

It'd come to the point where Sonic would run away from me as fast as possible without so much as a second glance in my direction. Even though everybody thinks that I don't care at all, now I'm starting to have second thoughts. What was the use loving someone who ran away from your very touch?

But I couldn't think of anything else. It was like a drug now, and I was addicted.

So I told him to go.

I crawl up in the corner

To watch the minutes pass

Each one brings me closer to

The time you're coming back

That night, I saw him standing on the side walk. With an uncertain expression, highlighted with the florescent street lamps, each sharp point of his face marked with white intensity. And he saw me, and I saw him start to turn away… I've been thinking about this for awhile. The first time the thought came to me, I was shocked at myself, and buried myself into my official Sonic the hedgehog bed sheets, berating myself for even thinking of giving up on my blue hero.

Then I sat up and thought. By the time I went to bed, it was past 2 AM. And it was useless too, because I didn't get any sleep then, either.

But at least I came to a decision.

‹‹Sonic…›› I called out. Maybe it was the way I sounded that stopped him, but nevertheless he stopped and looked at me; long blue quills swinging in the harsh light. With a face that looked like a trapped animal, a deer in the headlights.

‹‹I… I have something…I…›› I swallowed, and looked away. Why was I chickening out now? I'd been thinking about this for days.

‹‹Look, Amy, I don't have time for this…›› He glances away nervously, sharp green eyes darting here and there. I can see the wheels turning in his head; he's trapped by a psychotic fangirl.

I can't take the distance

I can't take the miles

I can't take the time

Until I next see you smile

I can't take the distance

And I'm not ashamed

That with every breath I take

I'm calling your name

‹‹Okay, so run away. Like you always do.›› My voice sounded bitter even to my own ears. Surprised emerald eyes wandered back to my face and met my own, and I looked at my feet.

‹‹Amy…?››

But I can't take the distance

‹‹This is it, Sonic,›› I start to say, and then falter. Don't lose your resolve, Amy Rose. You've come this far. ‹‹I've decided to stop chasing you… In fact, I want you to go away. I don't want to love someone who will never love me back…›› And I see his face break, those sharp brash features melt into something hurt. ‹‹So please, Sonic…›› I can hear my own voice crack and tears that form at the corners of my eyes, ‹‹Please go away, and don't ever come back anytime soon!››

And the way he looks makes something in my mind tell me that I'm wrong, and maybe he does like me, maybe just a tiny bit. But he painfully jerks his head away, and he turns, and he runs. And he disappears into the night, a blue flash receding into the shadows.

I still believe my feelings

But sometimes I feel too much

I make believe you're close to me

But it ain't close enough

Not nearly close enough

And I realized then, that the ice lollies have numbed my hands, and I let them fall to sidewalk and they break apart, hundreds of glass-like delicate candies shattering in one fell swoop.

And I realize that…maybe…I could've done to the same to my hero's heart.

I can't take the distance

I can't take the miles

I can't take the time

Until I next see you smile

I can't take the distance

And I'm not ashamed

That with every breath I take

I'm calling your name

And now, over a year and half later, I'm sitting on my apartment building's stoop and staring at the stars. I think about that stupid choice I made so long ago, but that choice had to be the best for both for us. For me, anyway. I needed the time to break away, to slowly erase that alcoholic sweetness from my blood.

But that doesn't mean I don't miss him.

At first I had gotten depressed after he left and I realized he wasn't coming back. Suicide, wrist-slitting, and all that. Then I realized that, if this was how much it hurt me, it probably hurt him so much more. I stopped with the threats to my own health, but that didn't pull me out of the hole I'd dug for myself. I realized how wrong I had been.

And try as I might to stop at the thoughts eating at my soul, I still think about him. Maybe not as much as before, but I still feel empty without him somewhere nearby. The distance between us grew even wider with that hasty decision I made and I hope that someday, some time, he will forgive me.

And now that I'm sitting down, I leaned back on the steps and glanced at the diamond pinpricks so far above. I sighed; it was cold again, even though it was mid-summer and it should have been at least moderately warm.

If I could put together the words to really say how sorry I am, I would have been talking forever. But it doesn't matter anyway, because I don't know where you are. I can't apologize for my own idiocy because I told you to go far, far away.

He's been running from me for a few years, out of his own will, and now more then anything I wish he'd run again if only I was the one two steps behind.

I'd brave fire and I'd brave rain

To be by your side

I'd do anything

But I can't take the distance

And suddenly a dark shape blots my vision, and I sit up so fast our foreheads nearly collide. It takes a moment for me to pick out that shape against the velvety night sky and the dark stars, but when I do I can see twin bright emerald stars shining in front of me.

I stared for a moment, then reach into a cardboard box next to me, and I take out something in a clear cellophane wrapper. It's an ice lolly, a delicate little crystal made out of pink and red flavored water and frozen in the shape of a heart, frozen on the tip of a long plastic stick.

I hold it out to him, and after a long moment, he takes slowly takes it.

I will go the distance

I will go the miles

That's how much you mean to me

I can't take the distance

I can't take these miles

I can't take the time

Until I next see you smile

I can't take the distance

And I'm not ashamed

That with every breath

I take I'm calling your name

I can't take the distance

And I smile, and I say, ‹‹Welcome back.››