It was another of those lucid dreams, in which she was slightly aware that it was a dream, that what she was doing wasn't real. Her thoughts thus took on a light, amused manner, watching herself do things that had no real implications.
Wandering was a normal thing in her dreams. Wandering through ruins or bodies or wastelands, mostly.
This time it was a crowd of people, alive for once. They were polarized, excited, screaming and yelling. But this time she felt no anger. They weren't upset with her, they were not hounding for her blood. Something she had done was giving these people hope, giving them joy.
She basked in the aura of good will for a moment, until a small noise cut through the crowds. It was a low whimper.
The crowds vanished, and once again she was Revan, standing alone, hearing the wail of someone she had hurt.
She opened her eyes quickly, letting the dream fade away and the surroundings of her bunk on the Ebon Hawk to comfort her. Bastila sat on her own bunk in the corner, watching her calmly.
"I think that's the most sleep I've gotten in a month," Katrina muttered, rubbing her eyes.
Bastila said nothing.
"Has whatever unlucky Jedi who's to train Dustil arrived yet?" Bastila nodded.
She was quiet, and Katrina felt better. At least she wasn't the only one who thought this was all a big mistake that she would end up paying for.
She pushed herself groggily out of the bunk and headed towards the center of the ship.
Dustil stood there, turning slightly around to notice her.
"We can leave whenever you want," he finally said.
She saw the way his head was slightly hung, the stubborn tone in a voice that seemed to want a peace between them but wouldn't be the first to ask for it.
"Who's training you?" Her slight interest seemed to encourage him.
"I'm not exactly sure how the relationship between Padawan and Master with the Jedi is supposed to be, but I think I like her." He furrowed his brow for a minute.
"To like anyone in the Sith...that was a sign of weakness. I keep trying to find reasons not to like her."
"I shall do my best not to give you any, Dustil." Katrina turned to look in the direction Dustil's attention had went towards.
The Cathar stood, tall and regal, her hands clasped calmly behind her back. Katrina smiled.
"Juhani." She crossed to her and they embraced.
"It is good to see you again, Revan." It wasn't so harsh from Juhani either. It was always in a tone of respect and admiration, as if Revan hadn't always been a pair of red eyes and clenched fists.
"From Padawan to Knight and now to Master, and all within a month or so." Juhani almost seemed to blush.
"After the Star Forge, as I told you, I had decided to focus upon the Jedi teachings, and reflect on the Code. It, and you, helped to save me from my anger many times during our travels. My studies have paid off, and the Council feels I am ready to take another under my wing. One who has felt the temptation of the dark side, as I have, can benefit from one who has also resisted it and returned to the light."
"As you have." The almost blush was there again.
"I feel that we have much to teach each other, Dustil,"the Catharmurmured with a graceful gesture to him. Dustil smiled nervously.
"I'm ready to learn, Master Juhani."
"Do not fear to make mistakes, young Padawan. The Sith would see them as a chance to crush the other underfoot, to gain power over them. Within the ideals of the Jedi Order, mistakes are met with understanding and forgiveness." Juhani's admiration for her almost seemed a little ironic. Katrina had long thought that out of the Jedi she had known during their time together until the Star Forge, Juhani alone had exemplified the ideals of the Order, at the very least far more than she did.
Dustil seemed to digest this quietly.
"If I could interrupt the Jedi reunion for a moment," Canderous said, entering the room. "We need to do a little work on the hyperdrive before getting underway. Those stabilizers are a little out of whack and I doubt I could avoid hitting something unless we tune them up a bit." He paused.
"Times like this Carth would have come in handy."The Mandalorianpointed accusingly at Dustil, as if Dustil was keeping Carth from helping. "Come on kid. I bet you've learned something from the old man. Give me a hand."
The younger Onasi nodded. It seemed he would, at least, stay out of her way on this mission and do as he was told.
"Well, if they had to pick anyone, I'm glad it was you, Juhani." The Cathar smiled softly.
"I understand your concern at his undergoing the training. Having fallen to the dark side at such a young age, having the corrupt ideals of the Sith taught to you by those who are supposed to be your mentors...It is surprising that he was able to release himself from their bonds at all. Indeed, I was reluctant to begin my path as a Jedi Master with such a potentially difficult padawan."
"But,"the Catharcontinued, "The Council has appointed me with the task, and I take pride in the fact that they trust me to train him."
"Don't worry, I won't be getting in your way."
"On the contrary, I would appreciate any insight you could give. Your experiences are so much larger than any of ours, and your redemption all the more meaningful."
While Juhani's admiration never upset her, it often made her feel guilty, as if she had killed this person they were speaking of and was now doing a horrible job of impersonating her.
"I hope his motives for doing this are honest." Juhani nodded.
"It was a great sadness for me to learn of Carth. He was a good man. I understand he incurred them protecting you."
Unsurprisingly, it still hurt even when she was thousands of parsecs away from the planet, from the man.
"I would expect nothing less from him," Juhani continued."But even if his son has entered the Order thinking it will be a legacy to his father, surely such good intentions can only help him to overcome the dark side?"
You'd be surprised where good intentions can lead.
"Do you know anything of the planet we're headed to?" Juhani tilted her head in thought.
"What I know of the planet I doubt you do not know already. Anelli has been known as a demolitions factory, and its people to be politically inclined. It is also rumored to have a large population."
"Is it all city, like Coruscant?"
"I do not know. I have heard some talk of that it is made up of many densely populated small cities, rather than of a scope that engulfs the entire planet."
"If the people are so politically inclined, why aren't they involved in the Republic?" This time the Cathar shrugged, a slight smile on her face.
"Who really knows? Anelli is not on the Outer Rim, but it is close to it. I fear it is one of the planets that all too often falls through the cracks of the vast Republic."
Juhani knew more than she did. She felt the sting of being the last to know, the only one not involved, not informed.
"Juhani,"Katrina said, lowering her voice, even more absurd now as the Council wasn't anywhere near the Ebon Hawk. "Has the Council told you anything of Anelli? Anything in relation to me?"
The Catharlooked confused.
"Only that we are continuing our investigation of who is responsible for the attack on you and General Onasi there." She reached out a hand, grasping Katrina's arm comfortingly.
"I sense you are frustrated, my friend. Is there anything I can do?"
If you could kill the Council for me, end the deception and the secrets; that might be a start.
'Kill' seemed to stand out from her sarcastic thoughts in bold red color, far more serious than the rest of the words accompanying it.
"Not bad, kid." Canderous' voice echoed off the halls of the ship as he and Dustil walked back to join them.
"Now, as long as you haven't got your father's sense of over-weaning morality, you might be of some use." Dustil frowned.
"Better than the over-blown temerity of a warrior." Katrina cringed, waiting for Canderous' sharp threat.
The Mandalorian regarded Dustil coldly.
"In the past I might have challenged you for that. But I guess you can't help the fear and paralysis your people seem to be known for now."
Another problem she'd failed to see; Throwing together a young headstrong Telosian and a stubborn, older Mandalorian on a ship together.
"Of all the-"
"The hyperdrive's all ready to go," Canderous said to her, completely ignoring Dustil. "We can get underway immediately." Katrina nodded.
"Tell Mission and Zaalbar to punch in the coordinates and get us moving." Canderous nodded smartly, turning on his heel and breezing past Dustil towards the cockpit as if he weren't even there.
Dustil paced back and forth a bit, his face red with fury. He finally seemed to notice Juhani's hypnotic calm gaze upon him and stopped.
"I...I just don't know how to-"
"Canderous is a Mandalorian warrior. That is the way of his people. His experiences have dulled him somewhat, but the respect for battle and the glory of a well fought war are values of his culture that cannot ever be taken away from him." Dustil sighed.
"His war helped to keep my father-" Katrina eyed him and he stopped.
Well, at least he's blaming someone other than Carth for him never being around.
"One of the first lessons of the Jedi, Dustil, is that we are for others, not for ourselves. You must learn to stop equating everything to your experiences and your life, and learn to look at the other side of things. The Sith would have you believe that everything should be used for your advantage, to better yourself. The Jedi believe that you better yourself by using your advantages to better others."
"Even when they insult you?" Dustil said, less indignant and more amused, as if the Jedi Code was a child's treehouse rules.
The Cathar glanced at Katrina.
She didn't envy her.Juhani would have her work cut out for her with Dustil Onasi.
"Especially when they hurt you. To give into your anger is to fall to the dark side. Look at what anger brings; destruction, death, discrimination. Anger nearly killed Bastila and Revan upon your homeworld of Telos. Anger threatens its very survival." Juhani's voice was passionate, but without the rage Katrina remembered from when she would speak of the injustice she had suffered.
"Anger nearly killed your father." It slipped out and she instantly regretted it. For the sudden jolt it made on her heart strings, but more so that she had allowed herself to slip into the role of mentor, if only for an instant.
I will not interfere. It is his mistake, and I will not add to it by berating him for my own.
Dustil watched her for a moment.
She could see cleanly on his face what his lips would not dare to say: 'Anger that was meant for you, not him.'
Juhani smiled softly at Dustil.
"But these are heavy lessons to be learned in a few moments. Do not expect the lessons of the Jedi to be easy, but hopefully they will not cost as much as the lessons of the Sith." Dustil nodded.
"I...apologize, Master Juhani." 'Apologize' couldn't seem to decide on its tone. It lingered on bitterness and regret, and finally rose to honesty and unabashed determination.
The Sith took an apology as a concession, as an action of defeat. The Jedi took it as a strength, as an act of good will.
There was the cold, unsettling breeze of uncertainty, in which she felt how naked Dustil really was when faced with the Jedi against all he knew as a Sith.
"Everything seems to be in order." Bastila stood in the doorway. Katrina wondered exactly how long she had been there, and what she had seen or heard.
"Then let's go." Katrina answered, heading towards the cockpit.
I may be the last to know anything about this world, or what I may have done on it, but I'll at least be the first to see it.
Behind her she heard Dustil exhale. His mouth moved over the words with perfect clarity but unfamiliarity, as if they had never existed until he spoke them.
"May the Force be with us."