Sorry this took so long - this stuff is really hard to write. I don't want to skip and just go as if everything is all peachy straight away because there would be stuff they have to work through but it is hard to write it out - specially when it's not like I can draw on personal experience.

Anyways, I hope it is alright. Please let me know what you think.

As always, THANKS for reading...

They gave Michelle some injections for pain and decided to transfer her to the hospital. Tony stayed by her side the entire way, the whole time waiting for her to stir again so he could talk to her. In the back of the medics van she had mumbled his name a couple of times but that was all he could get out of her. The injection she had been given helped the pain but it also sedated her as well. At the hospital Michelle had been moved into a private room whilst she waited to be taken down to surgery. They had called in a particular doctor and there would be a short wait until he was ready. Tony was pacing the room and finally Michelle began to stir.

"Tony..."

He rushed to her side and leaned over her with one hand on each side of her body. "Chelle, how do you feel?"

"Where am I? Tony, what's going on?"

He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "You are in hospital.....they are going to give you a general Chelle so that they can get you all fixed up."

"Like I am having an operation? I don't want one Tony..."

He moved his hand from her cheek and began to stroke her hair. "Michelle you have to – it is easier than having to be awake while they do everything. You are going to be ok, I'm here with you."

Michelle looked around the room to take in her surroundings, her eyes kept returning back to Tony's gaze. He looked so tired and stressed out. His eyes were red and swollen with dark circles under them. He was unshaven and a little bit pale. She felt guilty seeing him like that. "You should go Tony, you need to rest up yourself."

"Go? I don't want to go – I'm not going anywhere Chelle."

They both went quiet. Michelle stared down at her bed, unsure of what to say or do. She was sure of how in love with Tony she was but she was completely unsure of how she felt about what had happened – she didn't know how Tony really felt. She wished she could just disappear, she wondered how she could ever face anybody.

"Michelle I need to warn you that division is going to come in tonight to start questioning you. I am going to have these bastards tried through our system."

"Tonight? I can't believe this. Do I have to?"

Tony watched the pain in Michelle's eyes whilst he nodded his head. He wished he knew how to ease it for her. He went to stroke her cheek again but she moved her head away from him to the side. Michelle was slipping away from him, he put his hand on her chin and moved her face back so she was looking at him again. "Ok, I know you are hating me right now, I know how much I have let you down. I'll never forgive myself for what has happened to you, but you have got to give me a chance to..."

Michelle interrupted him, "I don't hate you Tony. I don't hate you....why...how could I hate you?"

Tony was taken by surprise at her outburst. "Because I didn't find you in time, I didn't protect you. I promised I would and I let you down..."

He watched as tears began to stream down her cheeks. He didn't understand, was she crying because he had just reminded her of what he had done or had he said or done something else wrong? He wanted to wipe her tears but he couldn't handle her brushing him off again. Was it causing her too much pain having him there? He was studying her hoping for some answers.

"None of that was your fault Tony. You didn't give up and you found me....you saved me. You protected me, you did everything and more than possible. There is nothing to forgive yourself for, I can't believe you even thought that."

Tony sat on the edge of the bed and leaned back in close. For this brief moment his heart didn't actually hurt after he had heard what she said. Her words only confused him more though. "I don't understand then Chelle....how come you keep pushing me away?"

"Because...because....I just don't know how you can look at me. I know you said you don't care but I don't understand how....you could barely look at me when I told you, when his name came up you totally let go of me...."

As she spoke Tony cupped her face and began shaking his head saying 'No'. Tears began to well in his eyes as he tried to find the words that would convince her of his true feelings. "Chelle it was just devastating for me to hear all that....it is so hard for me to hear about how these people hurt you. All that matters is you..."

"Then why won't you guys listen to me?"

"I'm listening to you Chelle....tell me what you need sweetheart." He watched her, it seemed like she was close to opening up to him but not quite there. He picked up he hand and kissed the back of it. "Anything you want baby."

"I wanted you to listen to me Tony. I couldn't handle...I can't handle...." Michelle stopped and took a deep breath so she could start again. "I just wanted a shower, to fall apart for a couple minutes. I wanted you to hold me for a while, you know let me sleep. All you all care about though is getting your answers...."

Tony put his hands on each side of her head and stroked the hair back above her ears. He leaned his head in close so their faces were only inches apart. He jumped in before she could finish. "It's not like that Michelle. God, do you know how much I wish I could have just scooped you up in my arms and not let you go? Do you know how much I want to just take you home and never let you out of my sight again? Do you know how hard it is for me to see any other person touch you – even if they are trying to help you?" Tears had been running down his cheeks while he spoke but he wiped his face dry and took a step back from her.

"But I can't do that Michelle until I know you are alright. I can't stand seeing you hurt like this.....every bruise on your body scares the crap out of me. I've spent days thinking I had lost you....I'm not taking any chances with you Chelle. It hurt like hell before not letting you get up but all that matters right now is getting you ok again....even if that means you are going to be angry with me." He stopped and stared at her for a moment.

No words were needed, her face said it all. She was just completely overwhelmed – it was clear she was trying to make sense of how she felt. Tony was being completely straight up with so she knew exactly where he stood. He figured that it might help her feel more secure if he completely understood how he felt and where he was coming from.

"I'm here now, you don't need to worry about me anymore. How come everyone else is calling the shots for me? Why doesn't it matter how I feel?"

Tony felt defensive that just because she was back she expected he would be fine and not worry. "Everyone else isn't calling the shots Michelle, I am. I'm seeing to it that everything is taken care of. Of course it matters how you feel – don't you know how much I care for you?"

He tried to keep his voice lowered but it was fuelled with so much passion and stress he really had no control over his volume. "I'm so sorry that it seems like I am being so hard on you Chelle, that's the last thing I wanted. You understand that don't you?"

Michelle did and she didn't. The agent/common sense side of her appreciated how hard this must be on Tony. She knew that he was being so protective over her and doing everything to make sure the situation is handled just right. It was making her feel though that he didn't really understand how she felt. She just wanted to see the sensitive side of Tony – he had hidden himself so well behind his protector but she needed to know how it had really affected him as well.

"When I called you Tony from that guy's cell phone you seemed so much more understanding of me. You could cry to me then and you weren't angry with me for falling apart – you said all you cared about was me coming home with you. Now you won't even let me...."

Tony raised his voice and cut her off. "That is not true. Michelle I'm trying to get through this. I can't let myself become a mess now – you need me to be here for you. I know you are here but this is not over for me yet. It won't be until you are ok. I want you to completely just depend and lean on me now. I am protecting you and I want you to be able to come to me for anything. No matter how angry you are with me, I need you to trust me now in looking after you. You can't do this by yourself – you need help and you need to be pushed and kept from running away..."

Michelle's voice was so much quieter and weaker than his it was a wonder she was even able to butt in and take over. "I've had to look after myself for the last 3 days of all of this and I know I did the best I could. Doesn't that prove to you that I am ok by myself, I can handle this my way?"

Tony walked back to Michelle and stood close leaning over her. This time he was able to let his voice be a little more soothing. "You did great Chelle, that is why you have to give yourself a break. You use to trust me, you have always let me look after you.....how come you don't want to let me in now Chelle? Is it because you feel like I betrayed your trust by not protecting you from all this?"

Tony watched as Michelle struggled to know what to say. His stomach hurt so much he found himself bending over a little more trying to ease the pain. He felt like he was losing her and he just didn't know what to do. "Don't you remember what happened between us before this all happened? You said you love me Chelle and that you want to be with me. Don't you still want that? Don't you want me to care for you?"

Tony had been leaning over Michelle but as he said his last words he stepped back as tears formed in his eyes. He looked at the ground and rubbed the side of his face while he shuffled his feet from side to side. "Tony..." As Michelle called his name she reached her hand out for him. He didn't lift his head, he didn't want Michelle to see his tears. "Sweetheart.......please sweetie." He raised his head slowly this time and looked her in the eyes. She felt horrible seeing his tear stained face. He looked heartbroken and for the first time vulnerable. Tears streamed down her face as she reached for him again, this time he took it and walked in closer to her again.

"I love you so much Tony. You are everything to me, that's why this is so hard for me. I'm scared to face this. I don't know how to answer everyone's questions. I'm scared you will change your mind about me. All I wanted was you, just to have you hold me - I hated having to take my t-shirt off in front of everyone before."

"I love you more now than ever before if that is possible. The t-shirt broke my heart Michelle because I knew how horrific that must have been for you to do but you needed serious help, no one thought twice about it because they were just concerned about you. You collapsed on me Chelle, everyone is scared to death about you. I tried to cover you as much as possible..."

Michelle remembered how good it did feel when he had done that. She was beginning to feel defeated in all this, there wasn't any energy to be wasted arguing. Whatever was said or done she loved Tony and would ultimately do whatever necessary to make him happy. She slunk back down into the bed, "I know...I just..."

Tony could see Michelle was slowly coming around. He stroked her cheek and tried to encourage her to continue, "I just? Tell me anything Chelle"

"It's ok, I'll do what-ever you want me to do Tony. I won't argue anymore."

Tony gave her a tiny smile and kissed her on the forehead. "Let's just talk things out more beautiful to make sure we are on the same wave length, ok? Now I want you to tell me what you are thinking."

"I think about the fights we had before all this and you were right, I can't handle it. I feel like a fool for thinking I could have."

"Michelle I am so proud of you for how you have handled it..."

She started to cry and Tony began to wipe her tears with his thumbs. "Remember when I was laying down and you came in and lay behind me and just held me? You kissed my neck and held me tight – I felt so safe. I thought about that a lot over the last few days – sometimes I even tried to fool myself that you were there with me." As she spoke he had been nodding his head in agreement that that was how he had been feeling as well.

"Tony I am so sorry that the first time we kissed I ran out on you..."

"Honey why are you even worrying about that?"

"I've thought about that too. I also thought about how when you and I went back to your place that day how stupid I was for sleeping. I had those few precious hours and I spent them sleeping instead of being with you..."

"Michelle..." He looked at her adoringly and then kissed her on the cheek. "You needed the sleep. I loved being able to be that close to you – that was perfect for me." He took her hand. "I mean, I got to explore and hold your gorgeous body in my arms, I got to kiss you and sleep with you wrapped up next to me." He leaned back in so their lips were only inches apart, he gave her a very cheeky grin. "Trust me, that time we had gave me plenty to picture and dream about." After giving her a wink he allowed their lips to meet for a very sweet and tender kiss.

They both smiled as he pulled back "Chelle it is just so great to see you smile again....God I've missed that beautiful smile." This made her smile grow even bigger, he traced her lips with his thumb before stealing another kiss.

A couple of nurses appeared at the door ready to take Michelle to surgery. "We are all already for you Michelle."

Tony nodded at the nurses and then turned back. Michelle took Tony's forearm, she looked panic stricken. "Tony.....I've never had an operation before, I can't do this..."

He stroked her hair and leaned himself back in close so the nurses wouldn't hear. "Sweetheart everything is going to be ok. You will just drift off to sleep and then when you wake up, I'll be right here next to you. You will feel so much better baby, I promise." He kissed her lips and then her forehead, "I'll be here the whole time, ok."

Michelle nodded her head, loosened her grip on his arm and tickled her fingers across it. "Thank you Tony, I'm so glad you are here with me."

"You just get this over with so that I can take you home, ok?"

Tony stood back and let the nurses wheel Michelle from the room. He walked along side her for as long as he was allowed.