She fixed herself a bowl of Raisin Bran and sat on the couch. The other end of the couch from where I sat. I followed her with my eyes until she glanced over at me. She rolled her blue eyes and quickly looked away. What was that for? We both sit, watching T.V. Or more like, just staring at the screen. Our minds, somewhere else. Well, at least my mind sure isn't here.

Since this afternoon, she hasn't said one word to me. Since everyone picked their helpless, hungover, shit-faced bodies up and left our apartment, she barely looked at me. Even when I left to drive people home, she ignored me when I told her I'd be right back.

And now, here we are, alone in our newly clean apartment. Me and Tori. And I still don't know everything that happened last night. But from what I do know, I am so confused. Ashamed, confused and gross is more like it. Tori seems mad at me. She seems like shes still way angry from our argument we so lovingly had yesterday when I got home from work. I guess no amount of drugs or alchohol can truly erase your problems. They actually only make shit a hell of a lot worse...

I sigh, looking over at Tori curled up with her cereal. Her hair, in two braids. She's wearing a gray sweatshirt and blue pajama bottoms. Her tiny toes, wiggling. I clear my throat. She looks over at me.... We lock eyes...who's gonna talk first? Are we just gonna sit here and stare at each other?

"So, you're not gonna talk to me?" I find the words and force them out. Tori stares at me blankly. She places her half eaten cereal onto the coffee table. "I guess not." I say, looking down at my feet.

"What do you want me to say?" Her voice, low and shakey. Tori seems weird. I can't tell if she's mad or sad. If she hates me or loves me. I don't get her at all anymore... I hate this....

"Anything, Tor...just say anything." I plead.

Tori shakes her head, "Look... I don't know...ok....this is just...weird.."

"Well.." I start to speak but I don't know what to say. I don't know exactly what she's talking about...Oh man, I hope she didn't sleep with Blake...

"Dustin.. things happened last night.." Tori says, staring me down.

"Yeah.. I know.."

"Do you regret any of it?" Tori asks "'Cuz you should!"

Do I regret Marah? Yes. Do I regret passing out? No.

"Yes. I regret all of it." I say. I want to ask her what happened with her and Blake, but I don't want to fight with her. Not again. Not after all that's happened. Tori sniffles a little. I look over at her to make sure she's ok. She looks like she's fighting back tears.

"Dustin.." She says, sounding way upset. .." You know...since we've known each other....and we've known each other almost our whole lives...we've done some dumb, crazy things." Tori pauses. "But nothing like this. I've never seen you act that way before.. I mean, I've seen you drunk...even a little high..but...never..that....loose.."

I swallow hard. I can't tell if she wants to kill me or give me a hug. Or both. "Um..Man... I feel like such an idiot. I'm not too fond of myself right now." I say with my head down. If she's mad at me, maybe I can let her know how much I know I suck and she'll understand.

"That's good." She nods "'Cuz I'm not too fond of you, either."

"I understand."

"Do you really?" Tori's voice grows angry, "I don't think you honestly understand what you did... I mean, do you really get it? Has it sunken in yet??"

I'm speechless. How do I explain myself? Especially if I don't remember anything that happened... "I ...I'm sorry.. I "

"Don't say sorry to me..say sorry to yourself! And to Marah!" Tori scolds.

"Why should I say sorry to Marah?" I ask, defensively. Why should I?? She's an evil, two-timing bitch who fucked me, so I just fucked her back!

Tori's lips curl into a look of disgust , "Are you serious?"

"Yeah."

"You know.... If I were you, I'd be shitting in my pants right now!" Tori is defending Marah? I don't get this... What is she talking about? First she sticks up for Blake and now this chick? I don't understand her. The more I feel for her, the more she seems to hate me and side with my enemies.

"What are you saying? I'm lost Tori....can you just tell me what's going on!"

"Dustin!! You were picking fights with Blake all night, for one thing. And you should be worried as fuck because of the huge careless mistake you made of having drunken unprotected sex with an ex you can't stand! Do you even know how many guys she's been with?? Do you even know if she has any diseases?? No!! And now not only do you have to worry about being fatally sick and dying of an STD, but there is a really big thing called pregnancy!! But, I guess you also failed to think about that one too, huh?"

I sit. Silent. Scared. Ashamed. And she's right. I didn't think about all of that. I can't be forever tied to Marah!! No way!! I mean it's bad enough that I actually got laid and don't even remember it! And now I have to worry about all the consequences...

"You have nothing to say?" Tori asks, waiting for me to tell her what a huge dick I am. What a fool I am.

I look at her, ashamed of myself, "Tori.. you are absolutely right. I suck. I'm a big jerk. I'm sorry."

"Dustin, I did not say that!" Tori barks.

"But I'm saying it. I wanted to forget everything. I wanted to have a good time. I took it too far...and I don't even remember any of it! But, I wish I would've just stayed at Ivette's house. None of this would've happened.." I look at Tori with glassy eyes.

"Who is this Ivette chick?" Annoyed, Tori asks.

"A girl I met at work."

"You like her?" Tori asks.

"She's nice. She's a friend." And that's the truth. She is just a friend.

"So, she's basically just a friend that sucks your dick...ok... I get it.." Tori sarcastically scolds, rolling her eyes. My jaw drops. What is wrong with her?

"Tori that is not right!"

"No, it really isn't! Why are you acting like this?"

"Tori! I was wasted beyond belief! Dude, I wasn't in my right mind, ok! What part of I don't fucking remember anything don't you understand?" I raise my voice at her. Oh no... I don't wanna fight again...

"I was wasted too! But I knew what I was doing! You're just careless and its wrong!" Tori yells.

"What? Tori, why are you gigging on me? You're acting just like Blake!"

"I am not!! Forgive me for being upset because my best friend is being a promiscuous, alchoholic, slut, man-whore, drug addict!!!"

"Are you for real?" I cant help but laugh. "Tori, why are you being like this?"

"It's not funny, Dustin!" Tori angrily yells. I can't take the yelling anymore...

"Look, Tori.." I calmly speak, "Can we talk about this without screaming at each other. Please."

Tori sighs, "Look... I'm sorry for totally ganging up on you and yelling....but...I'm mad at you, ok!" Tori lowers her voice and sighs again, "Dustin, this is crazy ok....You are way too good to just give your body away. That's gross!"

"Tori..you act like I sleep with so many people on a daily basis." I laugh.

"Well..do you?" Tori asks, her eyes wide. She's so beautiful....

"What?? No!! Are you serious?" I laugh harder.

"What's so funny?" Tori's voice is soft and low.

"Tor, when would I even have time to bang all these chicks?" I continue to laugh.

"Well, how do I know what you do when you leave the house...and while I'm at work..who knows!" Tori cracks a smile watching me topple over in laughter.

"Tori, it is not that serious at all! I've only slept with two people. And that's including last night....which I don't even remember." I spill the virginal beans of my non-existant sex life.

"Really?" Tori smiles.

"Yes!" I laugh, "I haven't had sex since I was 16..wait, no....17. Yeah, I lost my virginity when I was 16. Dude, those were the days.... I mean, they weren't...but they so were..." I smile thinking about how it felt to be inside of a girl for the very first time...Oh, yeah..

"You mean this whole time you've only been with Euyi?" Tori hops closer to me, grinning.

I sigh, "Yeah. I don't just go out and bang chicks..you should know that's not me. I have to have feelings for a girl to be with her like that. I mean don't get me wrong, I think about it all the time, but..."

"Awe, Dustin!! You're so sweet!" Tori smiles, mushing my shoulder.

I roll my eyes, "Well, I'm not sour!" I laugh, "Just a little ditzy.."

"A little ditzy is not a problem!" Tori is permanently smiling at me now. I meet her gaze and look away quickly. I start to feel all shy again..Oh man..

"Yeah, but it sure doesn't attract anyone either." I say. The room grows quiet. Tori bites her bottom lip.

"Hey.." She breaks the loud silence.

"Yeah?" I find the courage to look at her. Her skin is so smooth..Oh dude.. my mind wanders to her warm place...

Tori sighs, "So, do you think.. I mean..." She struggles with her words.

"Do I think what?"

"If we were stranded on a deserted island.....well.....would you be able to have sex with me?" Tori nervously asks. I choke on my air.

"Oh my God! Are you okay?" Tori jumps over to me and taps my back, "Look up...it helps.." I look up at the bare ceiling while Tori beats on my back. Wow...it did help... I breathe deeply.. I hate these trick questions! Stop playing with my mind! Of course I would make love to her! In a second! I love her so much!

"What?" The only word I force out of my mouth.

"It's just a random question.." Tori waits for my answer.

"Sure..yeah...I would." I nervously blurt.

"So....you said you'd only sleep with a girl if you feel for her....well, that and unless, of course, you're piss drunk." Tori says.

"Um..yeah..that's ...uh...that's what I said.." I stutter.

"So, you feel for me?" Tori is staring at me. I feel her eyes burning right through me. What do I say to that? Do I tell her the truth? My heart is pounding right along with the butterflies in my stomach. I can't look at her...

"Um... I care about you." I confess. But she knows that.

"You do?" Tori leans closer to me.

"Of course I do, Tor. You know that." I say, her body close next to me.

"Dustin.." Tori's eyes still studying me.

"Uh..huh.."

"If the world were to end right here and now...at this very moment...I wouldn't be afraid."

"And why is that?" I ask, glancing at her. She's staring deeply into my eyes. As hard as I try, I can't look away.

"Because...I'm here with you." She whispers into my ear. Shivers run down my spine, feeling her warm breath against my skin, "And I know you will protect me."

I close my eyes and swallow hard. My instinct tells me to hold her. And I wrap my arms around the girl that I love and sigh. "You know I will. Always." I whisper to her.

I feel her sigh. She smiles and turns to look at me as I brush a stray lock of hair from her face. We both study each others faces. I slowly find myself leaning closer to her. She doesn't hesitate. We slowly inch our faces closer. Closer.Oh my God...Oh my God....My heart is about to explode as our lips are about to touch...

"Oh man, last night was nuts!!!" Shane walks in, slamming the door behind him.

Me and Tori quickly pull away from each other. Dammit Shane! I want to strangle him right now! I want to kill him!! Dude...

Tori uncomfortably fixes herself as she moves away from me. Shane must have caught on because he suddenly grew way quiet.

"Yeah...it really was." Tori says, her cheeks red.

"Dude..you know...um... I think I'm just gonna go make something to eat." Shane says pointing to the kitchen.

"No, wait!" Tori jumps up "I'll do it! Yeah, I was just about to make some mac and cheese! Yup!" She quickly moves into the kitchen. Leaving me and Shane staring at each other, confused, with nothing but the faint sound of the T.V. and Tori wrestling with the pots and cabinets.

"Ok...what was that?" Shane asks, sitting down , "Dude...did I interrupt something?" He brings his voice to a whisper. I shrug, not sure what to make of this whole situation. "Dude, were you about to kiss her?" Shane asks, grinning.

What do I say? Oh my God... I was about to kiss her... I almost kissed her.. and she was so leaning in to kiss me back! My heart is still beating a mile a minute.

"I think so." I smile, shrugging.

"Dude, I told you..did you tell her?" Shane smacks my arm.

"No.. I can't." I whisper.

"Dustin! You're insane! I'm telling you somethings up..and you'll let it slip if you don't make a move." Shane's so right, but I just don't know. She's too good for someone like me. She's just so smart..and logical..and amazingly beautiful....she just... I know she won't....and I can't deal with her saying no. My heart can't take it...

"Bro, it was just a moment. Some freak accidental chemistry. She probably thought I was Blake or something." I can't get my hopes up...

"You really need to get out of this whole denial thing, bro. For real." Shane sits back, resting his head. He looks over at me , "Dude, I think she might need help in there.."

I throw him a death glare and slightly shake my head. Butterflies – as usual, "Nah, dude, I –"

"If you don't get your ass in there!!!" Shane threatens.

"Ok..Ok..." I stand up and take a deep breath. I fix my shirt and boxers to make sure nothings poking out. Looking back at Shane, I make my way into the kitchen. I slide in as nonchalantly as ever. "Hey....you need help?" I force the words out.

Tori looks up at me, smiling, "Sure."

Feeling a slight bit of relief, I walk over to her. She has a pot of water on the stove heating up. Next to it on the counter are two boxes of Shells And Cheese. I'm guessing I'm not much of a help because the both of us stand, staring at the pot of water. This tension is nuts...

"You know.. my mom always used to say, a watched pot never boils," I blurt, "Or something like that." I crack a smile feeling random and ridiculously retarded.

Tori giggles, "It is somewhat true if you think about it."

"I guess..." Uh...that's all you say, Dustin? Weak...

Tori turns to me, "I'm sorry." She pauses. "But I'm not. Does that make sense?"

"Um..."

"You know what, just forget it...it's nothing anyway, right?"

"Well..uh.."

"Yeah...nevermind.." Tori turns to the bubbling pot, "See! I turn away and it starts to boil!" She quickly changes the subject.

"Yeah I see." I feel like a truck slammed into me head on. She brushes it off like its nothing, but its so much to me. And as much as I want to, I'm too afraid to bring it up. If she wont bring it up, then obviously she can care less. I guess, its not affecting her like it is me... Tori pours in the macaroni and stirs.

"Well.. is there anything I can do?" I ask.

"You hungry?" Tori smirks.

"A little." I say, patting my stomach.

Tori laughs, "Then you can eat!"

"Sounds good to me." I cover up the fact that all I want to do is hold her right now... I wonder what would've happened if Shane hadn't walked in... I walk over to the cupboard and pull out 3 bowls. And three forks from the drawer.

"Handyman!" Tori winks.

"Well, you know..that is what I do... I'm good with my hands." Realizing my comment, me and Tori stare at each other, our cheeks turning bright red. "Um.. I mean... my hands are good only when it comes to fixing bikes..yeah.." Why do I even talk? I should just never talk again!

Tori quietly walks over to the sink to drain the macaroni. When she's done, she walks back over to the stove and starts to mix in the cheese. "You have....amazing hands.." Tori sighs, mixing the pot. She looks up at me .. "And....really nice fingers.." Smiling, she quickly looks down at the mac and cheese. Her skin blushing, right along with mine.

"Thanks." I say, feeling like a man. Like I accomplished something.

Tori looks up at me, uncontrollably smiling. Not saying a word, she serves the three of us. Handing me my bowl, she grabs hers and Shanes , "Now lets eat before Shane has a baby in there!" We laugh as we walk into the living room. Tori completely forgetting about her Raisin Bran...