First things first…. Marah is not pregnant. Thank God! Now that's something to be happy about….if nothing else. I'm totally clean. No diseases. No infections. Great. I'm healthy and completely without child and I'm feeling good. Well…somewhat good. As good as I can be…
It's been a week since the infamous half naked shower incident….and I haven't felt more uncomfortable around Tori. Just afraid of what's going to happen next. But I can't take much more of this at all. And all this confusion and keeping my feelings bottled up is about to change….
- - - - - - -
"I pack up and head out again in a week. This experience is so…liberating." Cam speaks, sipping a bottle of Gatorade.
"Wow.. I wish I could travel.." Ivette sighs. Her head resting in her hands, she looks up at Cam in awe of his travel stories.
"Where are you off to this time?" Shane asks. In front of him is this huge plate of disco fries. Extra cheese and gravy on the side.
"South Africa… I've always wanted to go." Cam steals a cheese covered French fry from Shane's plate.
"Dude!!" Shane growls. We laugh. Me, Shane, Cam, and Ivette sit in a booth at the Blue Bay Diner. One of Tori's favorite places to come to for a late night snack with friends…
"Dustin…you okay?" Ivette asks, breaking my daydream.
"Sorry…yeah.. I'm just thinking.." I play with the straw in my lemonade.
"Yeah, dude..you didn't even order any food..you feelin' okay?" Shane asks. My friends stare at me, concerned. Even Cam.
"I'm ok…not all that hungry…" I blurt.
"Dustin…" Ivette says "Remember what we talked about?"
"Yeah." I sigh.
"Is that what's wrong?" She asks, her eyes, big, staring at me.
What we talked about..yeah…see, Ivette likes me…a lot…but, I had to tell her the truth about how I feel about Tori. For her sake. I don't want to hurt her. Never. She didn't take it so well at first, but, she completely understood…after she sat and thought about it. She hasn't really been her usual cheery, happy self since we had that conversation a couple of days ago.
"That's what's always wrong." I lower my head. Ivette runs her fingers through my hair.
"Wait…we are talking about Tori here, right?" Cam asks. Damn…the entire world must read it off my forehead..
"Of course." Shane sighs, "I told him to just tell her already, but no…he wont listen."
"It's not that easy, dude!" I lift my head. I'm such a mess.
"Dustin.." Cam lovingly smirks. At least I hope his smirk is loving…"Trust me, you have nothing to worry about."
"What do you mean?" My eyes widen…wait, so she said something to him?
Cam reaches a hand across the table and pats me on the shoulder. "Just trust my genius on this one." He smiles, sipping his drink. Shane lets out a giggle, winking at me. Do they know something that I don't?
"Dude, things are happening between us and neither of us want to confront them.." I confess , "I mean, what the fuck? We might as well be married already with the way we are towards each other. I'm just worried about what she feels for Blake…dude..I can't handle having feelings for anyone else.."
"Well, you get over it.." Ivette barks, sighing heavily.. "Or, at least you try.." She glances at me then quickly looks away. I feel like a jerk. I'm doing to her what I don't want done to me. That can't be good karma…
My eyes scan the room and grow fond of a used napkin that was crumbled and dropped on the floor. Reminds me of my life. My emotions in general. Aahh…and the ketchup smeared into the napkin – a perfect substitute for blood…
"Dude, you guys are basically dating without the title." Shane speaks while chewing a wad of fries, "I mean, c'mon, Dustin…you meet her for lunch, she comes to Storm Chargers with food for you..um…what else…Oh yeah, you guys kiss each other on the lips. And not like a normal tap kiss either…like…it's so , like, longer than that, bro.."
"Yeah… I know what you mean.." Cam agrees.
"It's really just a tap.." I say.
"No..it's really not.." Cam insists, "And if you still, at this point, don't see that you two are completely infatuated with one another, than you are either (a) an idiot, or (b) in insecure denial."
"Wait, you really think she's into me like that?" I hint at a smile, blushing.
"Wow….Don't make me choose (a)." Cam barks.
"Word." Shane agrees, "You have to tell her..right now."
"Right now?" I feel my heart jump to my throat.
"Right now!" Ivette jumps, "You have to! You have to tell her!"
"Dude, where is she?" Shane asks, looking at his watch.
"She's at the beach. She wanted to catch some waves today. I was supposed to go with her, but….I don't know…." I explain.
"So, go get her!" Cam's eyes widen to an almost scary glare.
"Uh..um.." I scratch my head.
"Get up and go to the beach.." Ivette pushes me out of the booth.. "And go fucking tell her!"
I stand looking at my friends like they're crazy. No way! Now? But…but…there are people at the beach..that would be totally embarrassing…
"What are you waiting for?" Shane asks, "She won't say no."
"Go get her!" Cam laughs, "Don't be afraid. You love her..don't deny it anymore! Don't hide it! A ninja is always true to himself and what he feels. Always."
Cam's words hit me like I never thought they would in a situation like this. He is right. And I am a ninja. And the truth is, I love Tori. And it's about time she knows it.
"I love her! Yes! I love her!!" A huge smile finds it's way on my face. Full of a sudden rush of adrenaline, I nod at my friends, "Oh…She is so gonna be mine!"
"Go! Go!!" Ivette squeals.
"Dude, go on! Get outta here!" Shane shoos me away. One last grin, and I quickly run out of the diner and into my car.
Oh man, here goes everything and nothing all at once…
I start my car and quickly race down the streets ofBlue Bay Harbor, headed towards the beach. Dammit! Stopped at a red light. I am so anxious and antsy. I don't wanna sit here. It's driving me insane. C'mon! Turn green…C'mon… I take a quick glance at myself in the car mirror. The way I always did before I knew I'd see Tori. I didn't notice the light turning green at first. Suddenly, noticing, I hit the gas. Just then, some dude totally cuts me off, seemingly coming out of nowhere. I swerve to the left, only to realize I was in the wrong lane, and an oncoming car was speeding straight towards me..Fuck…I suddenly swerve hard to the right, losing control of the car. Oh shit..no….no…..this can't happen…not now….
I struggle to gain control of the car. Screaching and swerving…Oh my God…I don't wanna die…not now…Got it!.. I pull over. My heart is about to explode. My nerves are shot and I'm having trouble breathing. As I sit, my car parked and still running on the side of the road, I focus on catching my breath. Wow.. my life really did flash before my eyes. And all I saw was Tori…
Just then I notice the car that had cut me off, pull over right in front of me. Wait a minute….. I know that car….
Blake?!? What the fuck!?? This dude just tried to kill me!!! I shake my head, watching Blake get out of his car and, in a rage, walk towards me.
That's it…..
I furiously push open my door and climb out of my car.
"What the fuck is your problem!? I've has enough of this shit!!!" I slam my car door, meeting Blake face to face on the side of the road. Just like my dream…almost..
"I warned you Dustin!! I warned you!!" Blake points that damn finger in my face again.
"Warned me? Warned me what? You just almost killed me!!" I yell at him.
"Tori!!! And what did ya do, huh?? You touched her! You fuckin' Touched her!!" Blake wails. He shoves me, hard, into my car door. Oh….hell….no….
I swing at him, catching him in the face. Unfortunately, not as hard as I wanted to..Just then, I feel knuckles to my jaw. Thinking quick, I grab his arm and lean to the left, blocking his next punch. I bring my knee forward into his stomach, still holding his arm, I quickly flip him over and onto the ground. With Blake down, I have about 2.5 seconds before the pain his hit had left on my jaw begins to register. I rub my face a bit, in an attempt to ease the throbbing.
"C'mon, Blake!! C'mon, get up!!" I taunt.
"Fuck you!!!" Blake yells out, grabbing his stomach, still on the ground. "You took her!! You fucking bastard! You took her!! I hate you, Dustin!! I want you dead!!"
"What?" I blurt. What the hell is he talking about? "She was never yours Blake! Lets face it! You never had her!! And I love her!! And I wont let you or anyone else get in the way of that!! Not anymore!!"
"AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!" Blake growls as he lunges at me with all his might. He round house kicks me right in the ribcage. DAMMIT!!!! I ignore that sudden jolt of pain that shot throughout my entire right side of my body. Without thinking I lay a quick low punch, high punch, kick combo, sending Blake back down onto the ground. A part of me feels way guilty, as I look down at my navy friend attempting to stand up. His lip is busted open and his elbow is scraped.
"Dude…dude.. I'm sorry…dude…" I bend over to help him up.
I notice him reach into his pocket and pull something out. Oh great… I throw my arms up over my face to block the blunt object as Blake swings at me. What the hell? I struggle trying to block myself from his blows and at the same time trying to get him off of me. I finally, use all my energy and right hook him in the face. Blake stumbles back. I quickly jump away, breathing heavily, and pissed as all hell. I notice blood all over my shirt. What on earth??….blood was dripping onto the ground and all over me from a huge deep gash in my forearm. And it was bleeding badly. Blake had pulled out a mean blade. This is no joke. I throw my fists up..
"Are you serious???" I furiously yell. Is he really trying to kill me? I cant deal with this right now..
" I want you gone!! Ya hear me?? Out of her life! Outta my way for good!!" Blake growls. He's gone mad! I could stay here and fight.. I could…I nervously look at Blake…..swallow hard…then nervously glance at the blood, everywhere…the option of making a run for it and getting the hell outta here seems way smarter. By now, my clothes are splattered with blood…and I think I've had enough..
Suddenly, I break for my car door, opening it and jumping in. I hadn't turned the car off luckily. Blake is after me, still. He tries to stab at me through the window as I speed off. Fuck this!! I look back to see him kicking dirt and yelling obsene things at me. Oh dude… that was fucking crazy… I reach into the back seat and grab my towel from work. I attempt to wrap it around my arm. Oh…. It hurts like hell…..My right arm, is burning so badly from the open wound. The oilstained towel isn't helping….Suddenly, my left shoulder starts to sting. I look over and notice my shoulder was bleeding. Blake had stabbed into my shoulder as I drove off.
"This is fucking psycho!!!" I yell out in a rage, "Oh, dude!!!! Oh, fuck!!"
Finally, I park right next to her blue van. Tori's van. So, I know I shouldve gone straight to the hospital, but…. I need her…She has to know. Even if it means I bleed to death saying those three words. I need her by my side. I need her to know.. I park and jump out of my car. I dash down onto the sand. Surprisingly, no one is around. The waves are rough and high. Where is she? Oh no… I start to feel a little light headed between my nerves, the wind, the pain and the blood loss, I'm a wreck.
Tori, suddenly appears, running out of the water, holding her surf board. I feel like I'm seeing her for the first time. All over again. She doesn't notice me as she walks towards me with her head down.
"Tori!" I yell out, running towards her, "Tori!!"
Startled, She looks up at me. Her eyes bolt from their sockets and her face drops to the floor.
"OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD, DUSTIN!!!" She drops her board and runs as fast as she can up to me, "Oh my God!!!! Oh my God!!!!! We gotta get you to a hospital!! Now!!" She gently grabs for my bleeding arm, placing her hand over the bloody towel. She attempts to lead me to the cars. I pull back.
"Wait…no..wait…just.." I say, tears in my eyes.
"Wait?? Dustin, are you insane??!! You're hurt!! We have to go, now!! Oh my God!! What happened??" Tori's eyes tear. I feel her shaking.
"Tori.. I'm ok.. just listen.." I say, feeling everything I feel for her overflowing, "I –"
"No!! C'mon!! You're bleeding!! We have to go, now! Dustin, please!!" Tori attempts to take me to the cars once more. As I pull her back, I spin her around into my arms and kiss her. Confused and freaked out, she pulls away. Her shirt, stained with my blood. "What are you doing??" tears pour from her eyes.
"Tori!! I love you!! I love you with everything that I am!! I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you before! All this time I was so afraid! But I can't hide it anymore! I need you… I love you so much.. I need you so much!!" I pour my heart out to her all while releasing months worth of held in emotions and tears. I don't even care anymore..let me cry..let me bleed..all for her….Tori stares at me, tears running down her cheeks. In shock. In shock of all of this. All of this at once.
"Dustin, you are losing a lot of blood!! C'mon!! Please!!" Her screaming and crying grows louder and more intense as she grabs my arm and cradles it in hers.
"I don't care! You're all that matters to me! Nothing else, Tori! I care about you more than anything else in this world! You are the beautiful in all this ugly!! Don't you see?? My heart is in your hands! Please, Tori! I love you!!"
"Dustin!!!!" Tori pulls me as hard as she can towards the cars, "We have to go!!!" I feel my heart breaking into a million pieces…more pain than any physical wound can ever inflict. So that's it?? Why??No…..no… I stare at her, pain in my eyes. Tori is crying like crazy, the wind blowing her wet hair in her face. "C'mon!!! What are you doing??" She cries hysterically now, still trying to pull me. I push her locks from her eyes and caress her cheek. Tori gives up on pulling me further..She lets out a frustrated scream, and cries harder.
"I love you!!! I always have!! Always!!" She throws herself into my bloody arms and I hold her as tight as I can.. As tight as I always wanted. I kiss her forehead as we embrace each other. Both of us crying in each others arms. And neither of us need to say anymore.
Suddenly, I feel my head spinning and my knees buckle. I'm so weak… and drained….
"Dustin!! No!!!" Tori screams. That's the last thing I hear as the world goes black…
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A/N: OMG!!! NO!! How can I just end it like that!!?? I know, im sorry…I just wanted to say a special thank you to my boo bear for helping me out with this chapter. Please read and review!! Tell me everything that's running through your minds!! Good and bad!! I love your feedback! It really helps and is greatly appreciated! You guys rock ! this story is hanging on a string its so close to ending.. like two more chapters….that's it…im working on a sequel though that's going to blow this one out of the water…im excited about it..well hope you liked this so far
cyn