Chapter Nine – Human Touch

'I ain't lookin' for praise or pity
I ain't comin' 'round searchin' for a crutch
I just want someone to talk to
And a little of that Human Touch
Just a little of that Human Touch' - Bruce Springsteen

Thanksgiving 2007

God, I'm nervous. It's been a long time since I was this nervous about anything, but here I am, practically shaking like a leaf with nerves. This is just ridiculous, too. I'm 19 years old, and I'm freaking out over meeting the parents of my boyfriend. Of course, it isn't just the parents. It's the grandparents, sisters, and a few aunts and uncles and cousins, but at least I already know and like Tim's family. That's something, I guess.

But I am also feeling like a traitor. Since I was about 8 and my sister who is closest in age to me moved out, I've spent Thanksgiving with Luke, Karen, and Keith. It is already feeling weird that I'm not at the café helping Karen set things up, but instead am in Jason's car on the way to his parent's house.

And then there is the stuff with Nathan from last week. I'm still confused over all of that. He's been on my mind a lot more in the last week than he'd been in the last three months. Seeing him really brought a lot of stuff back, a lot of stuff I'd thought that I was over. I'm not sure what this all means.

"You're quiet," Jason comments as we pass an "Entering Raleigh" sign.

I smile at him. "I'm sorry, I know I haven't been good car company."

"You're not nervous, are you?"

He can read me really well considering we've known each other less than a year. I know he's sensed that I've been preoccupied since I saw Nathan, but he's given me my space on that one. "I am a little nervous. Is that so bad?" I laugh.

"It isn't bad. I was just going to promise you that you don't need to be. They'll love you, Hale," he smiles reassuringly.

"Thank you. I'll try not to be so nervous. It's just – I'm so new at all this dating stuff," I laugh.

"Well, surely you can remember back to meeting Nathan's parents, right? I'm sure that went fine."

I groan. "Oh, God. Well, I met his parents before we started dating, and his mom was nice to me, but his father hated me. He really hated me when Nathan started putting me ahead of basketball. And now he's giving me great deals on cars," I laugh, "The whole dynamic with the Scott family is messed up. There are truly no words for it."

"Well, then my family should be a piece of cake in comparison. We're frighteningly normal and boring," he sighs, "Poor Brooke is probably going to go out of her mind with boredom."

I laugh, contradicting, "No, she's got Tim to fight with. That keeps them entertained for hours."

"Good point." He pulls into the driveway of an adorable ranch style house. "So, this is it, my parent's house."

"Do you still think of it as home?" I ask, curious about how I'll feel about my house when I leave it.

He shrugs. "When I'm here, yeah, but when I'm at school, that is home. My first year I always wanted to come home. But after awhile, it's not the same, and you realize your life is somewhere else."

I laugh, "I think I feel that way already."

"You're ready to get away from home?"

I shrug. "I don't know, it's weird – I shouldn't be, right? I mean, my parents are rarely home, so I have all the freedom in the world. Plus, it's free, which is a huge bonus. I don't know, I guess I just know that it isn't where I'm meant to be, and in a way, it holds me down, being there."

He leans over and kisses me. "Maybe you'll have to stay with me more often," he suggests between kisses.

I kiss him back, willing myself to relax, knowing that in a few minutes I'll be meeting his family. "Maybe I will," I answer, softly, leaning back in my seat.

"You ready to go in?" he asks with a smile.

"Yeah, let's go," I tell him.

We're staying overnight, so we have bags in the trunk, which we get out. We're almost up to the door when it flies open and girl taller than me flies out and jumps onto Jason. I step back in surprise, smiling as he hugs her back.

"Hey, Riss," he laughs, "Mind not strangling me?"

She untangles herself from him, stepping back and stares at me. "Jason," she whines, elbowing him in the ribs, "Aren't you going to introduce us?"

I smile at her as Jason comes over to put his arm around me. "Marissa, this is Haley, my girlfriend. Hale, this is Marissa, the baby of the family. The baby that acts like it, too," he teases her.

"Shut up, Jay-Jay," she says crossly, in that way only siblings can. It sort of makes me wish I had siblings closer to my age, but Lucas comes closest to filling that void in my life. "It's nice to meet you, Haley," she grins at me, kindly, but also shrewdly as if she is assessing my worth, "I hope my brother treats you better than he treats me."

I laugh a little, some of my nervousness abated. "If he doesn't, will you kick his butt?" I ask, winking at her.

"Sure, I might only be 15, but I'm tall," she grins proudly.

"It's nice that you two can already talk about me like I'm not here," Jason sighs, but I can tell he's relieved things are going well so far. "Ready to go meet everyone else?" he asks me.

"So that we can teach her the truly fine art of ganging up on you, Jason?" Marissa asks, smiling at me. I smile back at her as she comes over and links arms with me. "Don't worry, Jason can handle the bags."

"I'll get you, Riss," he calls after us as she drags me along with her into the house.

"Now you can meet my mom," she tells me enthusiastically, "And how long have you known Jay-Jay? Oh, and how did you meet? Has he told you how much he likes you? He always tells us that when he calls. I hope he tells you, too."

This girl is too much – in a good way, though. "Well, I've known him since Valentine's Day, and we met at a party at his fraternity. I guess he probably told you I'm friends with Tim?"

"Oh, yeah, he told us that. Did you know Tim is bringing his girlfriend?"

If I had had something in my mouth, I probably would've spit it out. "Uh, Tim has a girlfriend?"

"You must not be a very good friend with him if you don't know that," she comments, "Yeah, I think her name is Brenda or Briane or something like that. They just started going out recently."

"Would that be Brooke?"

"Yeah, Brooke! Do you know her, too? What's she like?"

"Yeah, I know her, I just didn't know that she and Tim are, uh, dating." What the hell is going on here? This is just getting weird.

"Come on, you can meet Mom and Lolly first, they're in the kitchen. No one else has got here yet." Damn, I was kind of hoping Brooke and Tim were here, even though I knew they weren't since Brooke's car isn't here.

"Sure, let's go," I agree, smiling. God, his mom. This is going to be the tough one. Dad's usually like their son's girlfriends, right?

"Mom!" she screams, "Haley is here!"

"Marissa Jean Smith," a calm voice answers back, "You do not need to scream at me, my hearing is still perfectly fine."

Marissa sighs impatiently tugging on my arm to follow her. "She's always yelling at me," she says with a roll of her eyes, "Can I help it if I'm the loud one?"

"I guess not," I smile.

An older woman, who I think it is safe to assume is Jason's mom, comes out into the hallway. She grins at me, and her smile reminds me of Jason's.

"Hi, you must be Haley. I'm Gina, Jason's mom. Please don't tell me that my son abandoned you to the mercy of this one," she says, indicating Marissa.

"Mom, he's getting their bags in."

Gina holds her hand out for me to shake. I smile at her, cursing myself because I know it is a shy one. "It's nice to meet you also."

"I'm sure my youngest has been talking your ear off already," she winks. Marissa huffs at her mother, rolling her eyes. "Would you like to keep me company in the kitchen? Lola is in there struggling to get the pie crust right, and I know she's anxious to meet you."

"I'd love to," I reply, feeling more at ease now.

"Hey Mom?" Marissa calls as Gina starts to lead me down the hall to the kitchen.

"What, Riss?"

She grins, mischievously. "Jason put Haley's bag in his room with his bags. I think he thinks she can sleep in there tonight."

Oh. My. God. Could this get any more embarrassing? Gina sighs, hands on her hips. "You know, young lady, that there is absolutely no reason to tattle on your brother, and there is even less reason to try and embarrass his girlfriend. You can apologize now."

Marissa looks at me apologetically. "I'm sorry. I'd be embarrassed to sleep with Jason, too," she grins before turning to walk off.

"You know, that child has caused all these gray hairs," Gina laments, "I swear, if she wasn't my own child..."

"She seems like fun," I offer.

"Oh, you don't have to say that to impress me or anything. Believe me, I am well aware of each of my children's shortcomings. And Riss's are that she's a trouble maker who doesn't think before she speaks."

I'm almost tempted to ask what she thinks Jason's are, but I can't quite bring myself to be that cheeky. So instead I say, "Well, all of my siblings are a lot older than me, so it's kind of nice to – well, it's just nice."

She looks at me, and I feel in that instant like she can see through me, like she understands me. Oddly enough, it doesn't unnerve like I'd have figured it would.

"I was an only child, and I never understood why my friends lamented having siblings. The noise and the bustle of the houses with lots of kids were always very appealing to me."

I nod, suddenly understanding. I've lived nearly my whole life in a form of solitude, in some ways. I never really spent time with more than four other people at once, so I never got that busy, crazy sense a household can have. I think I was missing out on something, even when Lucas and Karen were giving me everything.

We walk into the kitchen. "And this one is Lola," Gina introduces, "Lol, this is Haley."

"Hi!" she grins, waving a flour-covered hand at me, "It's nice to meet you! Jason has told us a lot about you. Oh, all good, don't worry."

"Well, he's told me a lot of good stuff about all of you, so the pleasure is all mine." Lola is 19, so she and I probably have a lot in common, and I'd definitely like to get to know her better. "Is there anything I can do to help?" I ask.

"Oh, no, you're a guest, you don't need to help," Gina smiles, "Thank you, though."

"Are you sure? I work in a café, so all this stuff is old hat to me. I actually like doing this kind of stuff," I tell her.

"Oh, yes, Jay mentioned that you work in a café. Your best friend's mom, I think he said?" I'm going to have to get used to them calling him Jay instead of Jase or Jason.

"Oh, yeah. Actually, she's as much my mom as his in some ways, I've known them so long."

"Is your best friend cute?" Lola asks, grinning.

I crinkle up my nose, causing them both to laugh. "No, he's cute, it's just – it's Luke. I can't think of him like that," I laugh with them, "He's practically my brother."

"Ew," laughs Lola, "Sorry, but that's what I think about Jay."

"I think Jay is very handsome," Gina defends.

"So do I," I smile. Lola rolls her eyes, but doesn't argue with us.

"Mom?" Jason yells from...well, somewhere, I don't know this house at all. "Hey, Mom?"

Gina sighs, "I swear, these children think I'm deaf. It is just ridiculous."

He comes jogging in the kitchen. "There you are!" He puts his arm around me, and I instinctively lean against him. "I was afraid they were showing you baby pictures or something. Or worse, my pictures from the 'awkward years'."

"Those are for later," Lola teases as he walks over to hug her, "There is this great one of him before he got braces. Oh, he had the worst teeth ever, didn't you, Asswipe?"

"No worse than you, Freak Face."

"Kids," Gina sighs, and they both burst out laughing. I look back and forth between them in confusion. Gina takes pity on me, explaining, "They always do this. I'm pretty sure it is more to annoy me than each other now, too."

Jason moves back behind me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. "Just 90 of it, Mom. I still like to bug Lols, too," he says with a laugh. Lola glares at him over my shoulder. He kisses my cheek. "Lols is insane, don't listen to her at all."

"Shut up, Jay-Jay," she laughs, "You're such a brat, I only see you every four or five months, and you have to act like we're ten again."

"Like you do so much better!"

"Maybe I should be glad my siblings were so much older," I joke.

Gina nods. "You have no idea," she laughs. "Now, Lola, get back to your pie. I'm going to need that oven soon, so you need to get it in and out of there."

"What can I do?" I ask again, determined not to stand around and not help while I'm here, no matter how much they insist I'm a guest.

"Hale, you're my guest, you don't have to help," Jason says, "Besides, I haven't given you the tour."

"He just wants to show you his bed," Marissa says as she walks into the kitchen, "We all know that's what he was thinking."

I can't help but laugh as Jason blushes deep red. "I would love to help," I reiterate, smiling gratefully at Lola when she hands me an apple and a peeler. "Thank you."

"Hey, anything to throw a crimp in Jay's plans is good for me," she quips. He shakes his head, walking out of the room, mumbling something under his breath about 'women all being the same'.

"So, what are you going to school for?" I ask, curious, "Jase told me you were at Yale, but he never said what you were studying."

"Well, I'm in the general business program now, but I'll be attempting to pick something more focused before this year is out. I was thinking accounting, but then I'd probably have to buy pocket protectors, which would suck because I have no shirts with pockets." She slices up the apple I finished peeling. "And what about you? When Jason talks about you – which is a lot, by the way – it's usually about what you guys did over the weekend, or what you will be doing, or how sweet you are. I don't really know much about you, actually."

"Maybe I'm just terribly boring," I laugh. She rolls her eyes laughing, too. "Seriously, though, I'm getting my AA from Tree Hill CC this spring, and then I'm hoping to go to Duke and major in interior design. Maybe minor in architecture, if possible."

"Wow, really? Interior design always seemed fun, but I don't have a knack for that kind of thing."

I smile. "Well, it's kind of a secret passion of mine. When I was little, I'd draw up floor plans or decorate my Barbie's rooms instead of playing with them. I was such a dork," I laugh.

"That sounds fun. I was always Jay's little follower, so I'd chase him through the neighborhood skinning my knees and wrecking my dresses. My mom hated it."

"I didn't hate it, it just annoyed me that every time I bought you a new dress, you'd wreck it the next day," Gina counters from her spot at the stove.

"She hated it," Lola whispers. "Anyways, that was my life, chasing Jay around. I didn't have any friends of my own until high school."

"Well, I only had one friend until high school. Okay, that's not true, exactly, but only one that really mattered."

"The hot one," she smiles, "Lucas."

I laugh, "Yeah, Lucas. One of my best friends since I can remember."

"Like a brother, though."

"Right," I confirm.

"But now you're friends with Tim?"

"Yup," I smile, "Tim is pretty awesome once you get to know him."

"He's a dumbshit," she says matter of factly, "But he's a good guy. And I guess he's only dumb when he wants to be."

"Don't call your cousin a dumbshit," Gina says, probably more out of motherly habit than anything else.

I laugh again. "He's great, a really wonderful friend."

"So, what about this girlfriend of his? I hear he's been bragging so much about her that she must be a Victoria's Secret model who graduated from Harvard with a 4.0 in six different majors. Simultaneously."

"I know nothing about this," I sigh, confused. What the hell is going on? "I – I know nothing."

"Huh. Well, I guess we'll find out soon enough, huh?"

I nod. "Yeah, guess so."

"So, what else should I know about you? Do you like shopping? What were you like in high school? Any skeletons in the closet I should be concerned about? When are you going to hook me up with your hot best friend?"

"Let's see," I grin, having fun with her, "I love shopping when it's done right, I was kind of a geek in high school until Luke joined the basketball team and we made new friends, I have no skeletons in my closet, but I do have several old Cabbage Patch Kids tossed back there, and he has a girlfriend and he lives in Michigan for school, but as soon as they break up, I'll hook you up."

"You're good," she grins. "So, how did Luke joining the basketball team make you new friends?"

"You ask too many questions, Lollie," Gina sighs.

I smile. "It's okay, it's fun." I turn back to Lola. "When Luke joined the team, it was basically just me and him. Joined at the hip, did everything together or with his mom and uncle, who were like my parents. Then basketball came calling, and Luke got involved with that. He got to know his brother and they became friends, and then the three of us and two other people kind of formed this tight group."

"This is confusing," Gina comments, laughing, "Got to know his brother? How did that work?"

I laugh. "I shouldn't have started this story – it is very odd," I admit, "But basically, they have the same dad, but he only claimed Nathan, Luke's brother. And their dad, well, he used to be a real jerk, and he trained Nate to hate Luke. Somehow, they got past it, and are best friends now."

"Wow," Lola breathes in awe, "That is messed up. And I thought our family was weird."

"It is a pretty messed up family," I laugh, "And now, Luke's mom is dating their dad's brother. They have a baby together, even."

"It's like a soap opera," Gina smiles.

"Better than any of the ones I watch!" Lola enthuses, "Seriously, when can I meet these people?"

"Well, Luke is on the basketball team at Michigan, so he isn't around very often. But if you're ever in Tree Hill or Durham at the same time, I'll be sure to introduce you."

"What about his brother? You can introduce me to him, too!"

Like hell I can. "He's at UConn."

"Wow, that's close to Yale," she points out. "Well, close enough, at least. Does he play basketball, too?"

I nod. "He does indeed. He's averaging 12.4 minutes of play time this season," I brag, mentally kicking myself for opening my big mouth.

"That's cool," Lola comments idly. I hope that neither she nor Gina read too much into that comment.

"How come you don't already have a ton of boyfriends?" I ask, genuinely surprised. She's a very pretty girl, and she's obviously smart and she seems fun – it makes no sense.

"Actually I do," she admits, causing me to laugh, "I'm just really boy-crazy; it's an affliction, I think."

I keep laughing. "Wow, well, that's cool. How long have you been together?"

"Since high school," she smiles, and my interest in this conversation becomes even more acute, "He's going to Cal Berkeley for school, so he's really far away, but we're making it work."

Damn, that is just mind boggling. "That's so far, how do you do it?" I hand her another apple I've finished peeling.

"I don't know, it's hard. But I love him, and can't imagine my life without him, so we're sticking it out. I'm flying out there tomorrow to see him for a few days," she smiles.

"That's great. You guys must have a really strong connection if you can make a long distance relationship work," I tell her.

"You have no idea," she laughs. Except maybe I do. No, I can't think of that now. "I don't know, Matt and I just have - well, we have great sex, that's definitely a consideration."

Gina drops the spatula she was holding, and Lola and I jump when it clatters against the wood floor. "Damn it, Lol, do you have to do that?"

"Oh, Mom, yes I do. It's too fun, you know," she giggles, turning to me. "Don't you love pulling stuff like that on your mom?"

I shrug. "My parents aren't around much, actually. And instead of dropping a utensil, my mom would probably drop to the floor herself," I smile. "But Luke and I used to make sex jokes around his mom, just to see how dark a shade of purple her face would turn."

Lola puts her arm around my shoulder. "Ah, my kind of people. That's awesome. My best friend from high school and I would repeat body part names over and over with her mom – total church type, embarrassed if you said 'penis' in front of her, so we did, and loudly. In restaurants. Damn, that was fun," she laughs.

"Lola Meredith," Gina scolds, "That was a terrible thing to do to that poor woman. She was mousy and timid enough as it was."

"Lighten up, Mom."

Gina ignores her, turning to me. "Would you mind telling us more about Jay and you? You know how males are; they tend to brush over the details and skip the interesting bits."

"Well, of course. What would you like to know?"

"Why don't you start with how you met and how you started dating? I know it was on Valentine's Day, but that's pretty much all I know."

"Sure. Let's see, Tim invited Brooke and I to the Valentine's Day party at Jason's fraternity. He and I chatted for awhile until Tim – well, he did something stupid that kind of ended the night. And after that, Jason kept asking me out through Tim until I finally said yes. I guess the rest is history, as they say."

"He always was a persistent one," Gina smiles.

"It's very impressive, his persistence," I laugh, "I'd have given up on me way before then."

"What took you so long to say yes?" Lola asks.

"I wasn't ready to start dating anyone. Messy break-up after high school. I'm glad Jason stayed after me, though, waited me out."

"What was your first date like?" Lola asks. Gina looks interested in the answer, too.

I smile – I can't help but do that when I think how much fun that date was. "We flew kites on the beach."

"No kidding? Wow, my brother is kind of interesting after all," Lola marvels, "That's pretty cool."

"Yeah, it was special," I concur, blushing. "We've had a lot of good times together," I tell them, skipping details purposely.

We finish the preparing the pie and stick it in the oven, and Gina shoos us out of the kitchen. "Come on, we'll find Jay, and he can take you on the oh-so-exciting tour of the house. He's probably going into withdrawals since he hasn't seen you in the last twenty minutes," she smiles.

It is freaking me out that they are all telling me how into me Jason is. I mean, I know how he feels about me, and I feel the same about him. The only problem is that I might feel more for someone else. But I shouldn't think about that now.

"He's not that bad," I smile, laughing with her.

"To you!" she exclaims, "But I'm serious, he talks about you an awful lot. He really likes you. It has been so long since he was like this over a girl."

Now she's piqued my curiosity. "When was the last time? Or should I say who was the last time?"

A pained look crosses her face. "It was a long time; it ended when they graduated high school. Maybe that was just an infatuation thing, though," she sighs.

I nod, not pushing her for more even though I sense that there is a lot more to this story.

"Anyways, here's his room," she says, pushing the door open. "Thank God you have clothes on," she laughs, as he looks up at us. "You're allowed to have your girlfriend back now," she teases him.

"Thanks Lols, you freak." He throws the towel he was holding at her as she ducks out of the room. I step close to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. I pull him down and kiss him hotly. "Well, hello," he grins against my lips.

"Hey, I hear you give great tours of this place," I tell him, pulling back to smile up at him.

"I can give you one helluva tour of my bed right now, if you'd like," he grins lasciviously.

I laugh, poking him in the ribs. "Knock it off, your family is here. And the door is open!" I exclaim pointedly.

He breaks away from me, moving over to shut it. After it is shut and locked, he grabs my hand and pulls me down on the bed with him. "Now this is more like it," he smiles, "How was cooking with Mom and Lols?"

"It was nice," I smile, "They seem really great."

"As great as me?" he prods, his eyes laughing.

"Mmm, 50 better," I tease him, kissing the corner of his mouth when he pouts. "Turn that frown upside down," I quip, kissing the other corner.

He moves so he's laying half on top of me, and I rub my legs against him in response. "I can never frown around you," he murmurs as he kisses my neck. His hands creep between us as he begins to unbutton my blouse, kissing the skin he reveals with each button.

"Jaaason," I moan, "We can't do this. Your family is out there, and oh!" He cuts me off when his hands slides under my shirt and then under my bra. "Jason," I sigh, wrapping my legs around his waist.

"God, Hale," he pants, looking up at me, "You're killing me here." I reach and down and pull his shirt off, completely lost in the moment. He reciprocates, pulling my shirt over my head before reaching around and unhooking my bra, kissing down my stomach.

A loud, booming knock sounds in the room, startling the hell out of me. In my surprise, I knee Jason in the chin. He groans in pain.

"Jay-Jay, I know you're in there," Marissa calls coyly through the door, "I saw Haley go in and you shut the door, you can't deny it!"

"Jason, are you okay?" I ask urgently, forgetting I'm completely topless in my concern. He's already bruising a little, and it'll only get worse. "God, honey, I'm so sorry."

He looks up at me, smiling. "You called me 'honey'."

I blink at him in surprise. "Yeah, I did," I say slowly, "But your jaw is bruising, and you're thinking about me calling you 'honey'?"

"It doesn't hurt that much, baby," he grins, reaching for me. When he touches bare skin, I dance away from him, remembering the reason that his jaw is bruising and frantically search for my shirt and bra.

He laughs, pulling his shirt back on. "Hale, its okay. I think my family is aware that at the very least I'd be doing everything I can to get in your cute pants. Don't worry about it."

I roll my eyes at him. "We're still not doing it here. Especially now that we've had an injury."

He just grins at me audaciously. "You're no fun," he laughs, "Here, put this on." He tosses me a sweatshirt, which I pull on after hooking my bra back up.

"Have you ever had sex here?" I ask, curious.

He blushes, which is cute. Maybe I should be jealous, but for whatever reason, I'm not. "Uh, yeah," he mumbles, "A couple of times. But it was different."

"Different how?" I ask, crinkling my nose as I think of the possibilities.

He laughs. "God, not like that. I don't know, it was high school, and it was more of 'let's do this for the sake of doing it' rather than doing it because I want you that bad and can't keep my hands off of you. And I just – I want to be as close to you as possible."

It's my turn to laugh. "Yeah, well, for the next two days, it is hands to yourself. Seriously, this is embarrassing and you have a bruise!"

He shakes his head. "I promise, it barely hurts."

I gently lay my hand against his jaw, turning his head so I can see better. "Honey, it's purple. Like, really purple. God, what are we going to tell your family?"

He smirks, "Well, we could always tell them the truth – that I had you damn near undressed and was working my way down – "

I clap my hand over his mouth gently. "You wouldn't dare," I laugh, leaning up to softly kiss his jaw. "I'm sorry I bruised you, honey."

"Me, too," he grins ruefully, "I'm guessing I'd have a better chance of talking you around if you hadn't."

I shake my head. "Oh, no. We can chalk what happened earlier up to temporary insanity because there is no way that I'd consider having sex in your parent's house with you under normal circumstances."

I'm fiddling with the sweatshirt he tossed me, making sure I'm all in order before we go out there. "You look fine, baby," he smiles, "Come on, let's go get some ice for my jaw."

I groan, again feeling awful. "When that thing turns black and green and blue to go along with the purple, I'm going to feel really bad," I sigh. He wraps an arm around my shoulders, kissing my forehead.

"I promise you it doesn't hurt that much," he laughs, leading me into the hallway. He leads me into the kitchen where we can hear Gina and Lola discussing what kinds of potatoes to make.

I'm blushing furiously as we walk in, and Jason just has this big grin on his face. I can't believe this – I am embarrassed beyond belief and he's taking all of this in stride. Must be a guy thing.

"Jay! What happened to your jaw?" Lola asks, looking at me knowingly.

"Eh, not much, just bumped it," he offers, "It barely even hurts." He squeezes my hand when he says that. "Just came to get some ice. I'm trying to talk Hale into playing nurse for me." If possible, my face just got hotter.

"Jason," I sigh, shaking my head, "Are you trying to embarrass me?"

"I'm just teasing you, they know that." Gina and Lola both smile kindly at me, although Lola still has that knowing look on her face.

"Just smack him, Haley, that's what I always do when he teases me. Although, judging by his jaw, you might have already," she laughs.

I laugh, too, shaking my head. "He wishes that's how he got it," I tell her, knowing its true – he still thinks if we hadn't been interrupted, he'd have a chance tonight.

"So 'fess up," Gina grins, winking at me, "How exactly did you injure yourself, Jason?"

I'm beginning to think that they are far more interested in embarrassing him than they are worrying about what he and I were doing, and that is something that I am perfectly fine with. In fact, that is something that I could have a lot of fun joining in with, actually.

"Yeah, Jason, tell them the story," I grin, knowing he'd never sell me out on this one, "It's really interesting."

He pinches me lightly on the shoulder, and I just smile up at him. "Oh, I, ah, just tripped," he sighs, looking trapped. I feel a little bad about teasing him like this, but he knows I can't resist him, so maybe this will stop him from trying and save both of us the embarrassment of further injury.

"Tripped on what?" Gina asks, playing it oh-so-innocent, "Your room is clean, unless you've already managed to throw stuff all over the floor. And I know you're not klutzy; you can stay on your feet no matter. And what did you hit it on?"

Lola looks like she is going to explode with laughter, and Jase is fidgeting nervously beside me. "I tripped on my bag, Mom," he sighs, "And I caught my chin on – on the desk chair. Is their anything else you'd like to know?"

"Oh, I know, I am thinking that I already know more than I need to, so you can go do whatever it is you were going to do."

He grabs my arm and pulls me out of the kitchen with him. I wave goodbye to Lola and Gina, laughing at his eagerness to get out of there.

"Jason, I'm sorry I teased you," I tell him, not that sorry at all. He pouts at me a little before shrugging. "You know, I'm not sorry. It was fun," I grin.

"Yeah, I knew you liked it," he smiles, "Now come on, I'll finally give you that tour, and not just of my bed this time."

"You're on." I place my hand in his and he shows me all over his house. We chat with Marissa in her room for a bit. By the time we get back to the kitchen, car doors are slamming in the driveway along with muffled shouts.

I look over at Jason, who sighs, "Brooke and Tim."

"Yep, who else could it be?" I laugh. "Should we hide or go see what they're fighting about now?"

"Huh, well, according to Riss they're dating, so I'm sure that could be a fight waiting to happen."

I shake my head. "I – I don't know what's going on, I'm just the best friend," I shrug. "Come on, let's go see them."

We walk out the front door to find Brooke yelling at Tim. "Gonna be one of those weekends," Jason sighs, knowing the dynamic between these two well-enough to predict how things will go.

"Tutor Girl!" Brooke greets, stepping over some bags to hug me, "How are you, have you christened his bedroom yet?" I blush and she notices the bruise on Jase's face. "I see you have, very nice."

I hug her back. "His sister interrupted us by banging on his door, and I kneed him in the jaw." She laughs. "But that'll teach him – it's weird knowing his parents are nearby."

"Come on," she smiles, linking arms with me, "We're taking a quick walk. I want to hear all about this."

"Fine, I have a few things I'd like to ask you, too," I inform her.

We start walking, only long enough to tell the guys where we're going and for me to give Tim a quick hug.

"What the hell is going on with you and Tim?" I demand, "Jason's whole family thinks you two are dating, which has put Jason and I in the uncomfortable spot of lying to them!"

"Please, uncomfortable? I bet you were plenty comfortable lying to them about how Jason got that shiner on his jaw."

"Brooke, they aren't stupid, they knew how he got it. His mom and his sister just had some fun torturing him by asking what happened. Totally different from whatever the hell you and Tim have cooked up." I sigh, "God, you two aren't really dating are you? Because you know I love you both, and I want you both to be happy, but there is just no way in hell that it could ever work between you two."

She laughs. "Ugh, like I'd date him. Please, Hales. Look, apparently he has some relatives that bug him every time he sees them about meeting and dating an acceptable girl. So, for the next couple of days, I'll be that girl so his grandfather and an uncle or something can't harass him. See, I can be a good friend," she sighs, sounding defensive.

"I know you can be a good friend," I tell her, hugging her, "But do you really think faking this with him is such a great idea?"

She just laughs. "Oh, hell no, this is going nowhere good, I think we all know that. But he was just so damn insistent, and he laid all this 'you're one of my best friends, and friends help each other' crap on me, so I couldn't say no, It was awful."

I laugh. "Come on, let's get back to the house. You'll like everyone."

"Nathan and Luke play each other tonight; we gonna watch?" she asks.

I sigh. "I don't know."

"You want to," she asserts, "So why do you fight it?"

"Because what am I supposed to do now? It'd be too weird to watch it here, you know what I mean?"

She raises an eyebrow, "Because of Jason? But you were going to go to Nathan's game with him; you said the only reason you couldn't was because you owed it to Nathan to sit in his section. Has something changed?"

"It's not about Jason. He knows the history, and he's so damn understanding about things anyways."

"Jesus, you say that like it's a bad thing or something."

"No, no, it isn't. Not at all. And it's not even about watching with him – it's about watching with his whole family around. It'll just be too weird. I know Karen and Deb will both be taping the games even though they are there, so I'll just watch those when we get back to Tree Hill."

"Well, that's a stupid reason if you ask me," she laughs, as we walk back up the driveway to where Jason and Tim are playing basketball, having moved the cars out of the way. Lola and Marissa are playing with them.

"Well, what do we have here?" Brooke coos, pretending to ogle Tim. They stop playing their game when they see us.

Tim grimaces but covers it with a smile. "Riss, Lol, this is Brooke, my girlfriend. Brookie, this is Riss," he says pointing to the younger girl, "And this is Lola."

"Nice to meet you both," Brooke smiles. They both greet her with wide smiles. Looks like they may have found someone else to bug for juicy gossip. Of course, only problem being with Brooke is that she's liable to only give up gossip on me.

I walk over to Jason, snaking my arms around his waist from behind. "Hey baby," he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. "You and Brooke going to join our game?"

Tim cracks up. "You know Haley sucks at basketball, right?"

"Hey!" I protest.

Jason wonders, "How bad could she possibly be?"

Tim and Brooke both laugh. "Come on, let's play and find out." I groan, not wanting to do this, knowing I will be unquestionably the worst player on the court. I shake my head, about to argue, when Lola tosses the ball at me. I yelp, holding up my hands to block it. Everyone laughs.

"If you guys are going to laugh, I'm not playing!" I pout, embarrassed.

"It is incredible you suck this much," Tim laments, "I mean, your best friend and your ex – uh, your ex – uh, friend are both on college teams now."

I glare at him, pissed he'd bring that up. Jason steps back to me, handing me the ball. I smile softly at him. "She isn't that bad," Jason defends, "Besides, maybe she's a crack shot."

Brooke and Tim both have the nerve to laugh again. "She does great granny shots," Brooke announces.

"How do you possibly know that?" I ask, confused, but starting to laugh, too.

"Because, for like those four weeks that I dated Luke way back in the Stone Age," she begins, "He and I were going to the River Court, and when we showed up, you were already there with Nate. Of course, that was when Nate and Luke hated each other, so we didn't stay. Anyways, he was trying to teach you to shoot, which I thought was funny since he was the scorer, not you." She laughs at her own joke.

"Hey, I'll have you know my granny shot record is pretty damn good!" I laugh, choosing to ignore that she, too, had to bring Nathan up in conversation. I toss the ball up, granny style, and it goes in. "Nothing but net," I smile.

"Well, at least she picked up the jargon," Tim sighs. I smack him on the arm. "Ow, James, watch the arm, alright?"

"When you quit being an ass," I smile sweetly at him. He glowers until I pat him on the arm and promise not to hit him anymore.

"Yeah, that's my job," Brooke grins.

Oh, boy.

Thanksgiving dinner goes off without a hitch, miraculously, and everyone came out of a rousing game of Trivial Pursuit unscathed as well. Now the house is mostly quiet as everyone except Tim, Lola, Marissa, Jason, their cousins Matt and Jenna, Brooke and I are upstairs playing a boring card game. Instead, we are in the basement TV room fighting over what to watch.

Brooke and Tim are fighting over the remote, and everyone except Jason and I are yelling at them one way or the other, trying to make their opinions heard.

"Hey!" Jason yells, "Give me the damn thing." He takes it, whispering in my ear, "Want to watch the game?"

"No, I'll watch it later," I smile at him, "I know Karen will have taped it. We can watch a movie or something now."

He rolls his eyes at me, knowing that I do want to watch it. "Brooke?" he calls, looking over where she and Tim are still arguing like children.

"Yeah?" she asks, looking up.

"Does Haley want to watch her friends' basketball game?"

Brooke grins. "Yeah, she does. And so do I, some of those guys on Nathan's team were hot," she enthuses. Tim rolls his eyes, and Lola's head perks up at the mention of hot guys.

"Alright, University of Michigan vs. UConn, here we come!" Tim grins, squeezing me. He flips the channel as he leans down to whisper in my ear. "It's okay, I know you'd rather see it now that wait until tomorrow when we get home."

"Jase, it's fine. I know no one else cares about it at all, so really, I can wait."

He shakes his head. "Hale, they're your friends. I know you want to watch it. Besides, Tim loves basketball, Brooke and Lola love basketball players, and Matt, Jenna, and Riss all play basketball."

"What about you?" I persist, "I know you're a football man."

He pulls me onto his lap. "I don't mind. I can just sit here and tease you, touch you, kiss you. Oh, and uh, if I am remembering right, UConn had some pretty hot cheerleaders."

Tim looks over, grinning. "Hell, yeah they did!" They high five each other over my head.

"Boys," Lola mutters.

"Hey, I wouldn't say that, Lols," Tim scolds, "Weren't you one of the ones drooling over the basketball players?"

"There was no drool involved," she says defensively.

"Okay, okay, let's just watch the game," Brooke moderates. "Oooh, Tutor Girl, think 45 will get much playing time tonight? Jamon Davidson, mmm, he is hot."

The game has already started; it's about five minutes into the first half, and both Nathan and Lucas are still on the bench. Since it is still early in the game, both of them have big smiles on their faces, and I know they're chomping at the bit to play against one another.

Two game minutes longer – which always boggle my mind at how many real minutes they take – Nathan is put in the game. He grins down towards Luke, whose coach motions him up to wait to enter the game. Nate and Luke grin at each other, and the announcers start talking about the connection.

Lola makes the connection that these are the two guys I was talking about earlier in the kitchen. "Those are your friends?" she gasps, "Wow, seriously? If I didn't have a boyfriend, I'd be on them like syrup on a waffle. Wow."

"I slept with the blonde one," Brooke brags.

"And you hate him now," I point out, laughing.

"No, I don't hate him, I just don't like him very much." She sighs at Lola's expectant expression, "He cheated on me with the bitch that was my then-best friend. Who has nothing on Tutor Girl, by the way." She flashes me her brightest Brooke smile.

"Suck up," I hiss, laughing.

"Wow, you guys have like, messed up relationships," Lola decides. "Tell us a story about Haley! Oh, oh! Or Tim!"

Brooke laughs, looking at Tim with an evil glint in her eye. "Oh, Tim. Well, Tim-bo here, he thought he was a real player. Of course, he totally wasn't. Anyway, there was this time we had this date auction. The basketball players all sold themselves. "Tim groans loudly, trying to put his mouth over Brooke's mouth to shut her up. "Anyways," she continues, swatting him away, "I bought the geeky announcer, Haley bought Luke, her best friend, but no one bought Tim. So Nathan's mom bought him."

"I've never heard this story," I comment, wondering where it's going. Tim is blushing furiously.

"Oh, it's great," Brooke assures us with a laugh. I've got one eye on her and the other on the game. Nathan is such a work of art out there. Brooke continues, "So, Deb buys him, right? Anyways, she's all thinking that he can help her out around the house with cleaning and stuff, but Tim thinks she bought him so she could rob the cradle, if you know what I mean." I look up at Tim in surprise, my attention successfully diverted from the game. "So, he strips down to his boxers, ready to have a go at it, when Deb walks in and freaks out. Anyways, it ends up with Dan walking in on them, getting the wrong impression, and yeah. Hilarious."

"Dan walked in on you?" I gape, unable to fathom how he's still alive. Especially since it was old Dan and not new Dan. "And you thought Deb wanted to sleep with you?" I start laughing, hard.

Everyone else is laughing, too, as poor Tim just sits there alternately pouting and gloating. "You guys suck," he mutters. "Oh, hey, look, Luke and Nathan are both in the game now."

My attention is back on the game. God, it is weird to see them out there, playing together again. It's been two years, and they're on different teams, but this is even more of a flashback than the night of Nathan's game against Duke. By accident or on purpose, I don't know, but they've somehow managed to end up guarding one another.

"They look like they're having fun," Tim comments, "I remember when they hated each other. All the shit Nathan pulled on Luke."

"Like you weren't a part of it," Brooke snots, rolling her eyes. Lola demands an explanation on this, and Brooke obliges, but I don't really listen – I'm too focused on the game.

Jason is rubbing his fingers on my arm, and I turn and smile at him. He kisses me. "Your friends are good players."

I nod. "They aren't too bad," I agree, realizing that maybe I shouldn't be watching this right now. Maybe I should tell Jason I want to take a walk and surprise him with sex on a secluded park bench. Maybe I should realize that what I have wrapped around me right now is worth so much more than pining over something I can't have. "Let's get out of here," I whisper to him.

"The game isn't over," he points out, also whispering.

I smile at him. "I know, but I'd rather take a walk with you."

"Yeah? Well, let's – "

"I'm outta here," Lola announces, "I'm going to a club or something."

"You're not 21," Jason points out.

She nods. "So? I've got my ways."

Brooke grins. "I'm so in. Come on, Tim, get your lazy ass up and let's go."

So Brooke, Tim, Lola and Matt head off for a club while Riss and Jenna go upstairs to go to bed, knowing better than to even try to accompany the group on the way to the club. Jason and I take off on our walk, and I virtually forget all about the game. For once, I don't even feel guilty about it – one, I know I can see it later, and two, I'm with my boyfriend, having a good time.

There are no parks nearby, but there is a very deserted school playground I insist we stop at. "What's going on, Hale?" he asks with a smile, obviously not ready to complain about me dragging him out here yet.

"Nothing, I just wanted to have some fun with you, alone."

"Mmhmm, I thought there was a no sex moratorium while we were here." I love how he knows exactly what I'm implying here.

I laugh. "Oh, that was just for your mom's house. This isn't your mom's house, though," I grin as I lead him over to the merry go round. I sit down, laughing as he grabs one of the bars and starts running, spinning me around. He jumps on, crashing down next to me.

"That was easier when I was ten," he grins. "Damn." I lean over him, kissing along the bruise on his jawline.

"I won't injure you this time," I promise with a smile. I unbutton his coat, frowning at the reminder he's wearing a long sleeved shirt under his button down shirt. Sighing, I pull off the coat and button down, and lift the t-shirt over his head. Once it is off, I lean down and trail my lips across his chest. I set to work unbuckling his jeans as he opens up my coat and pulls it off my arms. I shiver when he pulls my t-shirt off and the cool air hits my skin.

"You too cold, baby?" he asks, even as he takes my bra off, pulling me down against him.

"No way, can't get rid of me that easy," I quip, finally getting his belt unbuckled and pulled off. "Yes," I cheer for myself.

He's got my pants unbuttoned and halfway down my legs, though, so he's doing even better. He kisses me hotly once we're finally free of clothes, and when he peaks, he tells me he loves me.

I pretend not to hear.

I wake up the next morning, wrapped in Jason's arms. "Hey," he smiles at me as I blink sleepily.

"Hey yourself." I grin suddenly at him. "You didn't have your way with me while I was sleeping, did you?" I joke.

He laughs, "Nope, but you had yours with me. You kept sticking your hands under the waistband of my pants. If I was willing to have the other side of my jaw bruised up, I would've gone for it."

"Shut up," I laugh, "I wouldn't do that!"

"Yeah, you would," he contradicts, "But it's okay because I kind of liked it."

"Oh, you did, did you?"

"Yeah, I did. Now, go brush your teeth or something so I can give you a proper good morning."

I laugh, but get out of his warm bed, still dressed in a pair of his sweat pants and a t-shirt. "I'll be back," I say in my best Arnold voice, winking at him.

"Hurry," he grins, promise in his eyes.

I do hurry to the bathroom, needing a few minutes alone to think. He told me he loved me last night. While we were on the merry go round making love, he told me he loved me. I don't know why I wasn't expecting – I should've been. It's not like he hasn't said it without words already; I don't know why the words surprised me so much.

If I were in a cartoon, I'd smack myself upside the head for being such an unsuspecting moron. I quickly brush my teeth and make my morning hair look a little more like sexy bedhead, and walk back to Jason's room.

"Miss me?" I quip as I walk back in, shutting the door behind me.

"Always," he grins from where he's sitting at his computer. I sit down on his lap, kissing him. "And there's my proper good morning."

"You aren't studying, are you? Because it is break, and I'd hate to have to take you out to distract you from school."

"Yeah, what kind of distraction we talking about here?"

I pretend to think about it. "I hear you like merry go rounds." His eyes glaze over a little. "I heard you have some smooth tricks when on them."

He nuzzles my neck, blowing softly. "You heard that about me? See, the funny thing is, I heard that about you."

"Mm, we might have to find a merry go round to test this out, see who heard correctly."

He stands up, picking me up with him. He drops me on his bed and starts tickling me.

"Jason!" I squeal, "Stop tickling me!" I try to squirm away from him, but his hold on me is too strong. "Jason!" I shriek, very loudly this time, cracking up. He's laughing too, and we continue laughing even when the door busts open to reveal half his family plus Brooke and Tim.

"You should've locked it when you came back in," he quips, and we both dissolve into laughter again.

Lola starts laughing too from her spot in the doorway, and eventually everyone else does too, although they still are looking at us strangely.

"Well, now that you two are up," Gina smiles, "Why don't you come have breakfast?"

I push Jase off me, jumping up. "Is there anything I can do to help?" I grin at her.

"Oh, I've got it all taken care of, but thank you anyways. Now, come on, let's get you some food." She takes my arm and guides me to the kitchen. No one follows us, which confuses me. "I told them not to," she smiles, reading my mind, "I wanted to talk to you a little."

I look at her in surprise and probably a little worry. "Oh, okay." I try to smile, but I think I end up with something around fearful grimace instead.

"It's not a bad talk," she says softly, "In fact, I think it's a good one. I just want to tell you thank you. You've made my son happier than he's been in several years. Now, I won't butt into his relationship where I shouldn't because I know there are things he doesn't like to talk about, but you've done wonders for him. I'm glad he has you. He's lucky to have you."

Obviously I have no idea what she's talking about, but I just smile. "Well, thank you. He should've told you that I was the lucky one, though."

"Well, I guess you're both lucky then." She gives me a quick hug. "It has been a real pleasure meeting you and getting to know you. I can see why my son likes you so much."

I laugh, genuinely now. "Thank you. And thank you especially for making me feel so welcome here. It has been a real treat, and your family has been delightful."

"Well, I'm glad you've enjoyed it. Now, come on, I imagine everyone is worrying that I've eaten you alive or something.

I laugh as we walk into the dining room where everyone is eating breakfast. Jason and Brooke both look relieved that I've survived the talk with my boyfriend's mother, but everyone else is pretty oblivious.

I sit between Tim and Brooke, across from Jason, and as everyone talks around us, I feel completely content for the time being.

"Is it possible to love two people at once?" I ask Brooke a little later.

"Do you have another female best friend?" she asks, sounding horrified by the mere possibility.

"Brooke, no, this isn't about friends. I meant love love. Forever love, marriage love, jump your bones twenty times a day love."

"Oh. Ooooh, did you tell Jason you love him?" she squeals, "Oh, my God, I knew it!"

"No! He told me, though. Last night, on the merry go round."

She looks confused. "What were you doing on a merry go round?" I just look at her. "Oh. Okay."

We're standing on the sidelines watching the Smith clan play football, which is apparantly something they do the day after Thanksgiving every year. Tim waves up at me, grinning after scoring a touchdown. I cheer for him before turning back to Brooke.

"I do love him, but I love Nathan, too. So, how can that be? How can I love two men at once?" I whine.

"Wow, so he told you he loved you? That's pretty huge," she notes, "And what did you say to him?"

"Nothing," I sigh, "I didn't say anything because one, it was heat of the moment, and two, I don't know, I just couldn't. What if I don't really feel that way?"

"You just said you did," she points out far too reasonably for this time of morning, "So I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you wish you didn't?"

I shrug. This is all just so hard. "Or maybe I wish I didn't still love Nathan," I sigh, getting to the heart of the matter.

She hugs me. "Well, oh, crap, I don't want to – "

"Don't want to what?" I interrupt.

"I don't want to tell you what I think you should do because it isn't any of my business."

"Tigger, you are the only person I can talk about this with. Please, by all means, give me some advice, I need it!"

"Look, all I was going to say is that Jason is here, and he is a great guy. He adores you and he clearly wants to make you happy. And this isn't a knock or anything on Nathan. Because I know how you feel about him, and I know how feels about you. But Haley, Jason is here."

I nod, knowing all of this. I also smile at her use of my name rather than her nickname for me. She only does it when she's serious. "I know, I do know that. And God, I don't know how it happened, but I do love him. Could you tell me why this has to be so damn hard?"

"Nope, I sure can't. Hey, but you know what? I can't even get a boyfriend, so you shouldn't listen to what I have to say. It's just hypothetical or something."

I smile. "It isn't bad advice, it really isn't. In fact, most would consider it really good advice, Tigger. It's just really hard to take it because it means – well, you know."

"You know what? You should talk to Nathan. Look, maybe that thing between you two is something that you need to explore a little more or something."

I shake my head. "I don't think that will make a difference at this point. What is really important is for me to decide if keeping Jason is worth letting Nathan go for good."

She reaches over and squeezes my hand, understanding the gravity of the situation. I look away and covertly wipe away the tear that has managed to fall.

Brooke and Tim leave immediately after the football game, but not before the family clues them in on the fact that they never bought the boyfriend/girlfriend. "I'm glad we didn't pretend to kiss then," Brooke said as they got in the car.

Jason and I say goodbye to his mom and sisters a little while later. They are the only ones that are left now.

"It was truly lovely to meet you, Haley," Gina smiles, embracing me, "Keep taking good care of my son."

"I will," I promise, gladly hugging her back. She pulls away and Lola moves into her place. Gina steps over to say goodbye to Jason who is busy teasing Marissa.

"So, we have each other's emails," Lol smiles, "Let's keep in touch."

"I'd really like that!" I smile, hugging her, "Thanks for keeping Brooke and Tim occupied last night."

She laughs, "Now that was my pleasure. Brooke is really fun to party with, and who knew Tim was that cool?"

"Well, now someone else besides me does, which is a good thing, I guess," I laugh. "It was great meeting you."

Marissa walks over with a small smile on her face. I'm almost afraid she'll say something else that is totally embarrassing, but she doesn't. "I'm sorry I teased you," she offers, "But its fun. And thank you for being nice about it all, that's pretty cool."

I smile back at her. "It's fine, I didn't mind a bit," I assure her, surprised when she hugs me. She was the only one who seemed a little hesitant, but I think she still thinks of Jase as 'hers'.

"You ready?" Jason asks after hugging his mom. I nod, waving to everyone. They all wave back, grinning at us.

We get in the car, and as he backs out of the driveway, Jason asks if I mind making a stop.

"No, that's fine," I smile.

"Thank you," he says quietly, and I wonder what's going on.

We drive in silence until he pulls into a cemetery, much to my surprise. I glance up at him, unsure if I should get out and go with him or not. He smiles, "I'd like it if you came with me."

I nod, unbuckling my seat belt and getting out of the car. I walk around to his side and take his hand, hoping I'm helping him, even though I don't know what it is that he needs help with. We walk quietly through the graves until we get to his destination. The headstone says "Alexandra Martin, 1986 – 2004", and I'm beginning to get a sinking feeling in my stomach as things I've learned this weekend begin to make sense.

"She was my girlfriend," he explains, sighing, "Well, when she died, she was my ex-girlfriend. But before that, we'd dated for four years. And before that, she'd been my best friend. She died during a robbery at a convenience store. Wrong place, wrong time."

I want to offer words of comfort to him, but I don't really have any. It kind of puts the losses I've suffered into perspective – at least all of my friends are alive and healthy, and most of them even happy. I step closer to him, wanting to at least offer him the comfort of me. I wait, figuring it's best to let him do this his way, say what he needs to say.

"It's weird," he comments, "Because we broke up after she cheated on me, and I figured – I figured that she didn't matter to me, and then this." He gestures to the headstone. "And it crushed me. I didn't love her anymore, not in the way I did before, but she mattered to me, and I treated her like she didn't. God, I hate that I was such an ass to her. I couldn't even be a big enough person to forgive her."

He kneels down in front of her grave. I crouch beside him, laying a hand on his shoulder. "She knows, Jase, I believe that."

He nods. "I could still kick myself for not telling her, though. It really hurt her that I cut her off so completely."

"You did what anyone would've done," I tell him, believing that, "You can't beat yourself up over it forever."

He looks at me. "You know, it's worse now, in some ways. The guilt, I mean. Ever since I met you, I don't think of her as much. In fact, I barely thought of her until we got back here, and even then it wasn't very much." I brush my hand through his hair. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"It's a good thing you don't have to find out, then," I smile.

"I meant what I said," he says out of the blue, "I do love you." I look at him in surprise. "I know you heard me," he continues quietly, "You kind of froze right there on top of me for a second."

"I thought it was just said in the heat of the moment," I explain.

He shakes his head. "No, it wasn't." He glances around. "Damn, I shouldn't be doing this to you here. It's just that when I was telling you about how I never told her she mattered and I never forgave her, I just had to tell you. I just need you to know that I love you. As simple as that."

I can't hold back, and I throw my arms around his neck. "I love you, too," I whisper.

And I find that it is true.

Of course, that doesn't mean I don't love anyone else.