Why do I bother fighting it? I really, truly want to write for UB now, but my muse wants me to write more with this. So who am I to argue? I might as well just add more to this fic, I mean you gotta write what the muse says write, right? It might help me get over my block, and if not, then it's a bit of fluff for me to write since I'm not writing any for UB yet.
Disclaimer: At the last second I decided to make this chapter a songfic, as well. The song is "She" by Green Day. We all know who the characters rightfully belong to… pay no attention to the hostages behind the curtain…
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Squall was a bit taken aback by what Yuffie had just done. He wasn't upset or angry or embarrassed or anything by it. She'd just told him what was on her mind—the good, the bad, the ugly, all in just one word. He… liked it.
He'd never seen her being so forceful like that to anything without the Heartless emblem. He knew mostly what she was probably upset about—he'd insulted her, again. It was after she'd gone along with his battle plan against a flock of Wyverns, despite the fact that she didn't really want to go along with it. They had gotten into a lot of trouble with it, and when he was surrounded by spiraling, kicking airborne Heartless, Yuffie had used her stealth and her speed to cut the monsters down where he hadn't had much of a chance.
Then she did that silly victory dance and fell off the wall and had a concussion.
So he'd called her weak.
As soon as he did it he almost felt bad about it, from the way she looked at him with those big sad eyes full of hurt and tears that she refused to let fall. He was always insulting her, but he did it to toughen her up. She was so emotional all the time, and she would do anything that he told her to—he'd fudged his tactics with the Wyverns to see if she would object to him, which she did for a moment, but then went along with his plans.
)( She…
She screams in silence.
A sullen silence penetrating through her mind.
Waiting
For a sign.
To smash the silence with the brick of self-control. )(
When she ran off after being healed, he figured that she would go and cry again, and then apologize to him for being so ornery—just like always. Whenever she did that, it drove him crazy. He wanted her to, just once, stand up for herself, and tell him to his face that he was wrong about something.
He also wanted her to get out of his personal life. For now.
He didn't want a woman who wouldn't stand up for herself.
But something had happened in Aerith's room, and she had come back full force and told him that she was extraordinary. On top of that, when he had initially ignored her, she swatted him and yelled to get his attention. It was so unlike Yuffie. Whatever happened there had given her a temporary burst of confidence—enough to confront him like that.
He couldn't help it—he buried his face in his hands and laughed harder than he had in a long time, keeping as quiet as possible. He couldn't help it. It wasn't even all that funny but it was almost a relieved laughter. She'd stood up for herself, even if just for a minute, and that's what he wanted her to do.
)( Are you locked up in a world
That's been planned out for you?
Are you feeling like a social tool without a use?
Scream at me
Until my ears bleed.
I'm taking heed just for you. )(
Finally, finally. That's all he wanted from her. She always tried to do things to please him, training in the Waterway at all hours and digging into his head to get his ideas. She did whatever he told her to do. She followed him like a little lost puppy. Some days he thought that if he were to walk off the edge of a building, she would follow faithfully.
He had done a lot to help her. Since she was a little girl, scared and helpless in Hollow Bastian nine years ago when their own home worlds had been destroyed, he'd been with her. He partially raised her, partially honed her training. Even then, she'd followed him, did whatever he told her. Sometimes he would tell her to do the silliest and most menial tasks that he knew that she hated doing, just to make her refuse.
But she never had.
He wanted her to be stronger—not physically, of course, she was already mostly at her maximum capacity for that. Her strength lay not in her physical strength but in the fact that she was stealthy and agile. He just wanted her to refuse to do something—just once in her life. Tell him no. Tell him to go do it himself. Slap him.
They did argue quite a lot, though. She would always just quit early for crying or because he told her to back off, or go away, or to let him be. She never actually stayed to finish an argument the whole way through, which confused him, because whenever she argued with somebody else, she would win every time, since she didn't give up.
But she gave for him. Probably because she was more than just blatantly smitten with him. Still, that was no reason to just sit there and do whatever he asked her to do without arguing, or quitting early in an argument, just for him.
He wanted her to defend herself against him.
He wanted her to yell at him and tell him that he was being a jackass.
Then maybe he'd like her more. Admittedly, but only to himself, seeing her forceful side was something of a thrill to him. She definitely had it in her. It was a start.
)(She…
She's figured out.
That all her doubts were someone else's point of view.
Walking
Up this time,
To smash the silence with the brick of self-control. )(
She was actually starting to believe all of the things he told her—that she was weak and childish and silly and a pest. That nearly made him stop the insulting all together, just because perhaps she wasn't cut out for it. But then one day he had seen her stand up to a man who must have weighed twice what she did, simply because he was picking on her and calling her the same things that he himself did. And she stood up to it and told him, to his face, that he was wrong.
Then she punched him and took his hot dog and walked away.
That was the Yuffie he wanted.
She must have figured out that it wasn't true at all. Albeit she was a little childish sometimes, just to make someone laugh. And she was pesky, but it was only because she cared about him enough to pester him to the very edge of his sanity just to see if she could help him with his problem.
Of course he was probably going to have to figure out a way to communicate to her, the way that he normally would, that he was pleased with what she had done. For the most part he did agree with what she'd said. She was… extraordinary. In a lot of ways. In good ways and in bad, but he liked the mix. In her it worked.
Whatever pep talk Aerith had given her or whatever she'd told herself or whatever she had seen or heard or said in that room had made the forceful side of her come out, and he truly liked it. It was a small step towards what he had wanted her to do all along—to be strong.
)(Are you locked up in a world
That's been planned out for you?
Are you feeling like a social tool without a use?
Scream at me
Until my ears bleed.
I'm taking heed just for you. )(
It was a relief to him to know that he had finally made Yuffie stand up and tell him, in her own way, that he was wrong for saying these things. All these years of telling her what he himself knew was untrue, and of yelling at her and being hard on her and kicking that poor little puppy of a person to toughen her up… it had all paid off.
He hoped she'd make it a habit.
He knew that euphoric look she had when she walked out of the room, having told him that she was extraordinary when she obviously believed that he thought the opposite. It was the look of relief and a long-needed victory. She would probably face him with more confidence the next time they met up, which was perfect for him.
Speaking of which—he wanted to see that sparkle in her eyes again. It was soothing to him to know that he had finally done something right with her. She'd been forceful and it was wonderful. He could never have a woman who didn't stand up—
Him? Having Yuffie? The thought often enough crossed his mind, but never really seriously. He knew that she had the biggest schoolgirl crush on him, and he thought once or twice of returning her affections, but he didn't want to cushion her or cradle her before he knew that she would be able to be strong.
He shook his head and pulled his shirt on. Not Yuffie. If she really found out the person he was, she'd probably run in the other direction screaming. Or worse, she'd laugh at him for being such a wimp. Then she'd know for a fact that she was stronger than him in many ways.
He'd done what he had to do with her. He'd done and said things that had made her cry for years and years, so that she would be able to stand up to anybody. Over the years he had seen her get more and more confident with confrontation with everybody else, because she had learned to let most comments slide right off of her, to take no notice of names, which were most people's primary weapon.
She had finally stood up to him, after all this time. She'd stood up to the one person she never stood up to before. She came outright and said so many things with those two little words. The words, her poise, the way she said it—it all added up to a confidence that he had never seen in her before and he was glad that she had finally found it.
)(Are you locked up in a world
That's been planned out for you?
Are you feeling like a social tool without a use?
Scream at me
Until my ears bleed.
I'm taking heed just for you. )(
He stepped out of the room to look for Yuffie. He did not have to go far, since she was perched out on the ledge right outside the hotel that overlooked the center of the Second District. The Heartless had receded once again, but still she kept her weapons with her, as did he. They could never be too prepared.
He walked up behind her, careful to make as much sound as possible with his boots on the stone ground. He wanted her to know that he was there. He took his place behind her and off to the right, far enough away so that neither could feel the others' heat, and close enough so that they could touch.
For a while they just stood there, each looking at the center of the District, just now coming back to life after the people had been temporarily hidden. She still had that starry-eyed look, and she was still holding herself taller than usual. She probably felt pretty damned good about what she had done, and he didn't blame her at all. He would probably feel good standing up to someone like him, too.
After hesitation, he laid a heavy hand on her shoulder. She turned slowly, and looked at the hand for a long moment, before following the arm up to him and looking at him in the eyes. He closed his eyes and half nodded, half bowed his head to her.
Then he took his hand away.
And turned around.
And walked off.
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I think this is really what I needed! I am so on a roll right now! And for once it isn't a toilet paper roll! Yuk, yuk, yuk. Anyway, I would appreciate reviews. There will be another chapter to this one coming soon, and hopefully there will be some kissing or at least some fuzziness coming into the story soon. I have a pretty good idea for the next chapter, so look for it when I post it.
Peeze review.
For me.
For Squall and Yuffie and all that is Squffieness.