Chapter Twenty – Have A Little Faith in Me

'When the road gets dark
And you can no longer see
Just let my love throw a spark
And have a little faith in me

And when the tears you cry
Are all you can believe
Just give these loving arms a try
And have a little faith in me' – John Hiatt

January 2011

"You're getting huge, Hales," Luke comments from his spot on the couch.

"Thanks a lot, Luke," I comment sarcastically, as I drop my admittedly larger self onto a recliner I know I'll need help getting out comfortably, "A pregnant lady can't hear that one often enough."

"Aw, I didn't mean it like that," he smiles, getting up to come sit on the arm of my chair. "You actually look really great, belly and all."

"Thanks," I smile, seeing he's sincere.

"I'm like, going to be an uncle," he grins, patting my belly. It's weird; so many people have touched my stomach in the last couple of months, which is sort of irritating, but Luke is practically family, so it doesn't bother me when he does it. But acquaintances and strangers, now that bugs.

"Um, you aren't just realizing now that you'll be an uncle, are you?" I ask, teasing him, "Because that has been pretty much a given all along, you know!"

He rolls his eyes at me. "Well, I mean, I guess I always knew, but I'm just now really realizing that. It's kind of cool, you know!"

"Yeah, I know," I laugh. "Quite the family we're building up here, huh?"

He laughs. "Yeah, well, about as far from normal as you can get, right?" I shrug, but then give in and nod when he looks at me pointedly. "Um, I'm thinking our family might get one smaller soon, though."

I furrow my brow, trying to think of what he means. "What the hell are you talking about, Luke?" I ask, unable to come up with something.

"Brooke," he sighs, quietly, his face contorting in pain.

"What?" I gasp, him having caught me unaware. "What are you – what do you mean, Brooke? You two are…?" I trail off, not wanting to say it out loud.

He shrugs, and I can tell by the look on his face that he's really upset about all of this. "I don't know what's going to happen, Hales, but it isn't good right now. We can't even talk to each other without things deteriorating into a full-out screaming match."

I gape at him a little. I knew there was tension there, but I hadn't heard any screaming. "When has this been going on?" I ask, "How long?"

"Anytime you and Tim are gone and Brooke and I are here," he admits, glancing away. He stands up, moving away from me. I scoot to the edge of the recliner, staring at him. "We just – I don't know, we couldn't fight in front of you two, we had to project this image that things were fine."

"Oh, Luke," I sigh, thinking about how hard this is going to be for them.

"I know," he groans, "Damn it, I know. I don't know what the hell we were thinking, rushing into marriage. It was so stupid, so careless."

"And now what? You don't feel anything for her, you want to divorce her, what? What's going on, Luke, I don't know if I get completely where this is coming from?" Maybe I do more than I'm willing to let on, though. Maybe I can see the parallels of them rushing into something the way I did with Jason, but it would be imminently tacky of me to point that out.

He shakes his head. "I care about Brooke, Hales, so much, I do. But I," he sighs, his voice dropping down to a whisper, "But I don't know if I love her. Not in the way a husband should his wife."

"Oh, God," I groan, "Oh, God, Luke, no! Jesus, how could you do this to her? How – how – God, I don't even know what to say to you!" I scream, grateful that both Tim and Brooke are out tonight, and probably won't be back until late, or possibly not at all, in Tim's case.

"I didn't mean to," he says quietly, sitting back down, on the edge of the coffee table this time, "And I don't think it's just me, either. I think she feels the same way." He runs his hands over his face. "Look, I know I shouldn't dump this shit on you, and I know you probably want to say 'I told you so', and you can, but I have to talk about this with someone."

"And I'm your best bet," I remark sarcastically, not entirely not a question, either. "That's great, put me in the middle. Damn it, Luke, we've talked about this! I can't be in the middle here!"

He nods. "No, I know that," he says quickly, "And I'm not asking for you to agree with me, sympathize, or even understand, I just – if things go the way I think they will, then Brooke might need you. And I just wanted you to know that."

I sit down next to him, putting an arm around his shoulder. As much as I hate what is happening here, I know it isn't entirely Luke's fault. They both need to own up to their mistakes in this one, and even more to the point, I can tell how awful Luke feels, and it is hard to stay mad at him when he's in so much pain.

"Oh, Luke," I sigh, "How did you guys get here?"

He shrugs. "That's what I would love to know, Hales. How did it get to this point where we have this power to hurt each other? God, I hate this!"

I nod. "I know you do. I do, too." He nods, understanding. "I just – I didn't know what to think of you two, and a part of me really thought it might come to this point, but the other part of me thought – believed – you guys, if anyone, could surprise me and do it."

"It's just – I thought that, too," he admits, hastily brushing a tear off his cheek. "I thought that if we wanted this enough, and I know we both did, that it work. That's how everything has always been for me, you know? If I wanted something bad enough, I got it – basketball, Nathan's friendship, Dan and I have a relationship. But this, it didn't happen this time. Nothing has fallen into place."

"Luke, maybe you guys haven't given it enough time!" I exclaim, thinking that maybe if they try harder, they can figure things out.

He shakes his head sadly. "I don't know, Hales. Maybe some things either work or they don't, and no amount of time will fix things." He shakes his head again, more firmly this time, almost as if trying to clear it. "And maybe we never should've gotten married, maybe we never should have hooked up again. I don't know, Hales, I don't know anything anymore."

"God, Luke," I sigh, "This is so, so very bad."

He nods. "God, you think I don't know that? You think I don't know that not only am I hurting her, but that I'm hurting a bunch of other people? But I can't, I can't stay in something that is making both of us so miserable, you know?"

The damnedest thing is, I do know. I know exactly what he's talking about, right down to the other people aside from Brooke he'll be hurting. And I don't blame him for wanting out when you know that not only will you be unhappy, but you'll be making other people unhappy, too. That sucks, and he's in this position where he'll hurt people, people I know he cares about and loves, regardless of what decision he makes.

"We just don't work," he sighs, "We never did, and even though I just like her so much, it doesn't work. Isn't it funny how what worked or didn't work in high school still holds true now?"

I rest my arms on top of my ever-growing belly, my heart breaking for him, for Brooke, for the situation. "God, Luke, as much as I hate this, I have to admit that I understand."

"Jason," he says tonelessly.

I nod. "It's the same situation. Shit, Luke," I moan, shaking my head, "Damn it, why'd you two have to hook up again in the first place? You ruined it all!"

He's silent for a minute, absorbing my words. "Do you think I don't know that?" he asks quietly, "Do you think that I don't know how angry you are with me, how much you might hate me? Do you think I don't get that I've probably lost the tenuous friendship Tim and I have formed? And God, I hope you know how regretful I am that I have to hurt Brooke like this, Hales, because if you don't, then you don't know me at all!"

"I know," I assure him, "I know all of that, I know how scared you are, I know how sorry you are, and I know that you're hurting, too. I just don't know what to do with this, Luke. I don't know how I'm going to be a friend to both of you. How I'll be the friend you'll both need, and damn it, I want to do that for both of you now."

"You – you have to be there for her. I, um, I'll be okay," he lies, but we both know that he's lying, and more to the point, he knows I know. But he also thinks Brooke needs me more, which may be true, but I know he's feeling, and I know that he needs me, too.

"Liar," I retort softly, "You need me, too, and I'll be here for you. I'll find a way to be there for both of you." I don't know how, but they're both my friend, and I have to.

"Hales, I'm relinquishing custody of you," he says softly, and I know he's trying to lighten the mood a little with a goofy 'Luke' joke, "I want Brooke to have you. I want her to know that when she needs you, you'll be there, not somewhere with me. She needs you more."

"We'll figure it out, Luke," I sigh, "And hey, maybe you'll figure things out with her, I don't know. Maybe you're giving up too soon."

He shakes his head, negating that idea. "See, that's the thing, we didn't give up quickly enough. We held on too long, and that's why we're here now."

I'm about to reply when the front door slams shut, signaling that either Brooke or Tim is home. Luke quickly turns away, wiping his eyes. The click of heels on the parquet floor indicates that it is Brooke who has arrived.

"A little help?" I ask, holding my hands out so he can heave me up off the coffee table. "My range of movement is becoming more limited each day."

He smiles a little as he helps me up. "Thanks for listening, Hales." He glances sadly at the door. "I'd better go talk to her. Um, I don't know when I'll see you – she isn't going to want me back here, and she's going to need you." He quickly pulls me into a hug. "So, uh, you take care of yourself, and if you need anything, let me know."

"Luke, hey, listen, I have an appointment next week, and I need someone to tape it for Nathan. Would you do it? Please?" I ask. Brooke, Karen, or Deb, or a combination of the three, have been my official appointment accompaniment, but Luke is the baby's uncle, and he's my friend, and I won't let him cut me out in a fit of guilt.

He kisses me on the cheek. "Yeah, I'd love to. Just call me at the garage, and let me know when and where, okay?"

"Thanks, Luke." He smiles and turns to go face the music. "Hey," I call, causing him to turn around, "Listen to her. Maybe she'll have a different perspective that will make things clearer, better." He nods, and walks out.

I stay here, waiting for the inevitable fireworks. No matter if Luke listens to her or not, it's clear how this is going to end, and it isn't going to be pretty for either of them. I can hear the muffled screaming and the sound of glass shattering against a wall – at least, I'm assuming it's a wall – and I can even hear the sound of crying, but I'm not sure which of them it is.

They must open a door, because all of a sudden I can hear Brooke screaming at him to get out, and Luke apologizing furiously. "I'm sorry you have to hear this," I whisper towards my belly, "And it's only going to get worse from here."

I can hear steps heading for the front door, and I glance over to see Luke, who gives me a sad wave as he steps out, an overflowing duffel bag over his shoulder. I take a deep breath, and wander through the house to find Brooke.

"Brooke?" I call softly. I don't get a response, which isn't surprising, so I keep wandering until I find her sitting, fully clothed, in one of the bathtubs. "Oh, Brooke," I sigh, making sure the seat is down so I can sit on the toilet adjacent to the tub.

"He doesn't want me, Tutor Girl," she cries, and for a minute, it is weird that she doesn't call me Hales like she has been, but since that is Luke's name for me, it makes sense. "Why wouldn't he want me?"

"Oh, Tigger, Luke loves you, I know that. No matter what, that's true, okay?"

"But not the way he's supposed," she sniffles, trying to get her tears under control. I must be looking at her oddly because she next says, "I'm only in here because I figured it would be the last place you'd look. I didn't want you to see me crying."

"Ah, Tigger, you've seen me cry, I've seen you cry, this isn't a time to hide from me, okay? Come on, let's get out of the tub, okay?" She nods, and stands up. "Where do you want to go?"

She shrugs. "I don't know, my room, I guess." I follow her to her bedroom, and sit down on the chairs she has in front of her windows. "I knew this was coming," she admits once we're both settled, "I knew it wouldn't work out, even before we got married."

"Oh, Tigger," I sigh, "Why did you marry him then?"

"Because I do love him. He made me feel special, and no one else has ever done that for me besides Luke. No other man has even come close to doing that the way he has. It just wasn't – it's not what either of us thought it would be, and it's not even what I wanted. How could I have been so wrong, how could I have been so stupid about this?"

"You weren't stupid," I counter, "You just tried something, and it didn't work. Not everything does."

She nods. "I just thought I could do this, I thought I could love him enough, in the right ways, and he'd do the same, and everything would be all la-di-da-di wonderful or something."

"There isn't much that is that kind of wonderful in this world," I sigh, shifting my weight around on the chair. "You guys did the best you can."

"Yeah, too bad I always thought your best was supposed to be good enough," she sighs, "I just wanted so bad for this to work so I wouldn't be like all those unhappy, divorced, and alone people out there. I don't want to be that."

She seems to be taking it so well, so calm, so collected, and truth be told, that freaks me out a little bit. "Brooke, I heard you screaming at him, what happened? How are you so – so okay now?"

"I knew it was coming," she whispers, "I knew it was just a matter of time before one of us said it, and it just happened to be him. I guess I wasn't expecting it tonight, and I freaked out, but I knew it would happen."

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry for you, you don't even know."

She nods. "I know, I mean, I do. It's just that, I don't know, how come it's so hard? How come, even though I knew – knew! – it was coming, how come it still hurts so bad?"

I shrug. "I don't know, Tigger, I wish I did. I'm sorry," I tell her quietly, "I know this is hard for you. I know it is."

"I just – you know, I knew I would lose him one day, I did. But the worst part is that I'm afraid of losing everyone else, too." I start to protest, thinking she means me. "No, not just you," she laughs, "I mean everyone. His whole family, which has really opened themselves to me."

"They don't work like that, Tigger, especially Karen. They'll still treat you just like they do now, you don't have to worry about that."

She shrugs. "I can't help but worry about that. What if Karen thinks I screwed Luke over or something? What if she thinks that I hurt him or something? Or that I married him for his money?"

I can't help but laugh. "Luke doesn't have any money, Tigger, he works at Keith's garage," I point out.

She cracks a small smile. "You're right, he's broke. God, I am so afraid that I won't be able to function without him in my life," she sighs.

I stop myself from rolling my eyes. "You were fine before him, and you know you'll be just fine without him," I point out.

She nods. "I know, I do know this. It's just hard, okay? Like, it was so easy to be his girlfriend and be a part – an official part, I mean – of his family, and not just your tag-a-long friend for a change."

"They never thought of you that way," I assure her, trying to assuage her doubts and fears on this one. I see where she's coming from, though – she latched onto the whole family vibe that Deb and Karen have worked so hard to cultivate in this family even more than she did Lucas, and that's what is actually harder for her to let go of. I bet Lucas picked up on this, too.

"I don't know, I just don't want to see those relationships wrecked, you know? If I wasn't so worried about that," she admits, quietly, "I might've done this awhile ago. Or else I may have pushed at him to the point where he'd do it for me. That's what I did now. I just feel like such a failure and a fraud."

"Oh, Tigger, you aren't a failure. You went for something, and it didn't work out. So you're cutting your losses, and maybe you guys will be able to part on good terms."

She shrugs. "I'd really like that, but the things – the things I said to him tonight, even though I knew I'd driven him to do this, they were mean, and uncalled for, not to mention completely unjustified."

"He'll forgive you, Luke is good at that," I assure her.

"We'll see. No matter what, it'll never be the same now. Things have been changed forever, and that sucks."

"Change always sucks," I inform her, "That should be my mantra or something because it is one of the few things in this world I firmly believe in. But I've also finally figured out that sometimes you have to roll with the change to maximize the good that can come out of it."

"What good comes out of being a 23 year old divorcee?" she wonders, and I'm at a loss as to what to say that doesn't sound like a Hallmark card.

Coming up with nothing, I answer, "Um, now you can find what you really need? The love of your life? I don't know, everything you ever dreamed of?"

She snorts. "Please, do I look that lucky? Has anything that has happened in the five years – God, five whole years – that we've been best friends given you the indication that I have anything resembling the kind of luck needed for that?"

"Quit being so negative," I admonish her, "If this is what you wanted to happen, then you damn well better embrace it! Tigger, you're in a place where you can get anything you want, you just have to go for it!"

"I guess," she sighs doubtfully, "I just never pictured myself divorced before twenty-five. Thirty, maybe, if we're being honest, but not twenty-five. And not from Luke."

"You've pictured yourself being divorced?" I question with a raised eyebrow, thinking this is one of the strangest things I've ever heard. She looks up and shrugs, but can't keep the smile off of her face. "You're such a freak, Tigger."

She laughs. "And maybe just a smidge clairvoyant," she points out, "After all, I did predict it for myself."

"Self-fulfilling prophecy much?"

"Maybe, but in any case, I was right. Oh, well."

I think she's in shock a little. Like she doesn't quite know what to do with all of this, but in a weird way, I really do think she's okay. I guess this is why I grew up being told that it's best to mind your own business – you never can quite understand that of other people.

The worst part about all of this is that I was right. I had a bad feeling about all of this from – well, if not the beginning, then close to it. It sucks to be right in this case, because I would've selfishly loved it if two of my best friends could be happy together. This is going to be such a mess, but there does seem to be the chance that things won't change too much.

"You look tired," she comments from her chair, "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," I smile, "Fat. I'm almost glad Nathan can't see me now. I just feel so huge and undesirable. It's awful."

"Aw, you're still a hot mama," she smiles, "And please, Nathan would be the first one lining up to tell you. He always gets this glazed over look on his face around you, like he's counting down the seconds until he can get you naked."

I laugh. "Do I get the same one?"

"Yeah, but not as often. But, ew, sometimes when you're on the phone with him now you do, and then I have to leave the room for fear of what you're about to do."

I gasp, smacking her on the leg. "I do not!"

She laughs, a genuine laugh, which relieves me some. "You do! You totally do! Ask Luke and Tim, they've noticed, too!"

The fact that she can say his name without freaking out is a good sign as far as I'm concerned. "Oh, my God, they've seen it, too! Tigger!"

She shrugs, "So, what? I'd be more concerned over the fact that Deb and Dan, his parents, have probably noticed, too!"

"You're evil!" I exclaim when I realize she's teasing me, "You are pure, unadulterated evil, Brooke Elizabeth Davis!"

She laughs. "Aw, but it made me feel so much better! You don't begrudge a girl who has just been asked for a divorce that, do you?"

"Wow, playing the divorce card already?" I smirk, "You must be desperate."

"Yeah, well, what can I say? If you've got it, use it, right? And if the sympathy divorce card is the best card in my hand, then who would I be not to play it?"

"You know, for such a hot shot, you can be a big dork sometimes," I tell her, laughing, "And you call me one!"

"Duh, why do you think we're such great friends? We're all just big dorks."

"Well, that's something I can't argue with," I admit, "So, how are you doing now? You seem a little better."

"You mean since I got out of the bathtub?" she smirks, "I'm okay, Tigger. I promise. It'll be hard for awhile, but I'll be okay. Don't worry about me. Luke is probably worse off than I am."

"Let's not worry about him right now," I suggest, figuring it's better to deal with one thing at a time.

"I can't help it," she smiles wryly, "After the guilt trip I laid on him, I know he's feeling like absolute shit."

"Well, maybe he deserved it a little," I shrug.

She shakes her head, negating that notion. "Nah, like I said, I knew, and even if I didn't, the onus should be on both of us, right?"

"I guess so," I sigh, "But you aren't doing a very good job of letting me comfort you, you know."

"Maybe I don't need as much comfort as any of us figured I would." She shrugs. "I don't know. I could stand to get out of this house, though. Want to drive to Durham and bug Tim at work?"

I have nothing better to do, and I could stand to get out of the house. I make her promise to drive both ways and to not make faces at me when I talk to Nathan on the phone, and then I agree to go. It'll be good to go bug Tim, and obviously Brooke wants to be around him now, so that'll be good, too.

Once we're settled in the car, I pull out my cell phone and dial Nathan's now familiar Seattle number.

"Hey baby," he says when he picks up on the third ring, "How's my girl and my big, strong little guy?"

"You don't know it's a boy, Nathan," I remind him for about the eight thousandth time. He's convinced it's a boy, but a small part of me hopes for a girl. Oh, I'll love it either way, but there's just something about little girls and little girl clothes that is really appealing to me right now.

"Sure, I do. I've felt that kick many times now," he points out. Which is true, he has, but I'm certainly not convinced that it is indicative of anything. Maybe we just have the next Mia Hamm on our hands.

"No, no," he says confidently, "It's a boy."

"You're sure cocky about this!" I exclaim, "And seeing as we haven't asked the doctor to tell us the sex yet, I don't really see how you can be!"

"We're the only people left in America who aren't finding out, by the way!" he grumbles, "If we were normal, we'd know definitively!"

"Aw, poor baby, didn't get his way," I tease him.

"Hey now," he warns, "Let's not go into who gets their way more often, okay? Because I think we both know it isn't me!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I laugh, "I'll drop that subject." I know full well he's right – I have gotten my way in almost everything since we've gotten back together, but I haven't really taken the time to analyze what that means.

"That's what I thought. So, I heard from Lucas," he starts, "He sounded like ass on a stick. Mumbling and wheezing something about Brooke and divorce?"

"Yeah, I can't really talk about that now," I sigh, even though it would've been nice to bounce what happened off of him, and see if he thought they were both, Brooke particularly, as okay as they proclaimed.

"She there with you?" he asks, already knowing.

"Yeah, Brooke and I are going to Durham to visit and bug Tim. I was getting cabin fever, so instead of sitting on my ass in the house, I'm sitting on my ass in the car."

"Hey, how you feeling, anyways? Everything is going good, right?"

"Yes, everything is fine. I know you weren't worrying, since you've been assured by both my doctor here and the one we saw in Seattle that everything is fine, and that I'm healthy as healthy gets," I remind him, gently teasing him about his tendencies to be a little overprotective.

"I know," he laughs, "I was just asking how you were feeling, and making sure that everything was good. That doesn't necessarily imply major concern, now, does it?"

"With you, sort of," I retort, laughing. I feel a little bad that we're having this flirty conversation in front of Brooke, but it's important to me that we do this every day, even if it's just over the phone, which it usually is.

"Hey, I resent that," he laughs back at me. "God, I miss you. When are you coming back out here to visit me? Was that next week that you said?"

"Nathan!" I laugh, "I can't go out there now, there is so much to do. I'm working with your mom to get the new café settled, and I'm also decorating it. I'm also decorating Keith's garage lounge like I promised ages ago. So much to do, so little time."

"Just don't wear yourself out, okay, baby?"

"I promise I won't. Hey, I miss you, too, by the way."

"I knew that," he responds smugly, "I can hear it your voice. The way you say my name all sexy and husky."

"You brat," I laugh, poking Brooke when she rolls her eyes, "That's you, not me, who does all of those things!"

"Yeah, maybe a little," he admits, "What can I say, though, I miss you, and most of the guys on the team are either married or have girlfriends, so I'm around couples all the time. It just makes me miss you even more."

"Well, that's really sweet," I sigh, "And I miss you, too, with or without couple flaunting. When's your next east coast game?"

I know I'll have a better chance of being able to stand traveling if he's at least on the same coast, and I really do want to see him, so the sooner the better. "Ah, I think we're in Philadelphia a week and a half from now. Don't you have your little schedule with you?"

I laugh. "Nathan, I'm in the car. You're at home, don't you have yours?" I mock, laughing harder when he mutters something indistinguishable under his breath. "Crap, Nathan, I have to go, we're pulling into the parking lot of Tim's office building."

"Okay, baby, have fun tonight. Love you."

"Love you, too. I have some pictures to send you, so I'll email those in the morning."

"Can't wait," and I can hear the genuine smile in his voice as he says that. Now, will he still be saying that when he sees how large I am, I don't know, but its sweet he says it now.

"So we're here," Brooke sighs as I hang up my phone, stuffing it back in my purse. Weird to think that in less than two months (I hope) I'll be carrying around a damn diaper bag instead of a purse.

"We are here," I agree, wondering what's going on. Her mood seems to have shifted again, and I'm not sure what to make of it. "You okay?"

She nods. "Yeah, I was just thinking that Tim will be the first person besides you that I have to face about this. The first of many, many people," she sighs.

"Tim is going to be behind you one hundred percent, Tigger. You aren't worried about that, are you?"

She shakes her head. "It's just going to be hard to say the words to someone who might be surprised by everything."

I shrug. "Well, you have to do it, so I you might as well just come out and say it. You go up to his office. I'll wait down here in the lobby." She looks like she might want to protest, so I fix this new 'mom' stare I've been practicing in the mirror on her, and she shuts up. "You need to do this yourself. I won't always be there to act as a buffer for you on this one, Tigger."

She nods, but doesn't move. I give her a gentle shove and she gets moving. I follow her a few minutes later, finding a chair in the lobby to settle down in. It is really nice to have a few minutes to sit here mindlessly, not having to worry about anyone for a few seconds because I know that everyone is with people who will take care of them. Well, everyone except Nathan, but as far as I know, he doesn't need me worrying over him right now. Missing him, yes, but worrying about him, no.

It isn't long before the elevator doors open, revealing Brooke and Tim. Tim has his arm around her shoulders, and she looks….relieved, I guess. Probably glad that she made it through telling the first person what happened.

"Hey, Baby Mama," Tim greets me, holding a hand out for me to latch onto so he can heft me out of the chair, "How're you?"

"Tired and hungry, how are you? Oh, and my back and feet hurt, too. Someone ought to be informed of that," I joke, "And since I forgot to tell Nathan, I'm telling you."

He rolls his eyes. "Must not hurt too bad if you didn't remember that it was hurting enough to tell him," he points out.

"Ouch, he's got ya there, Tutor Girl," Brooke laughs. I smack her on the arm before giving her a hug. "I still love you, though," she smiles.

"Gee, thanks. What is this, gang up on Haley night?"

"I thought that was every night," Tim shrugs with a grin, "But if you want to make tonight extra special gang up on Haley night, I'm down."

"Butthead," I mutter, feigning irritation. Really, though, they could pick on me all night if it makes Brooke smile.

"Butthead?" he asks, disbelieving, "Surely you did not just call me a 'butthead'. What is this, second grade?"

I glare at him, "I was trying to spare my poor, unborn child the trauma of hearing me call it's Uncle Tim a nasty name, but if you want, I am more than willing to drop the f-bomb on you, Smith!"

Brooke just laughs at our banter. "You two are both retarded, and I call bullshit on your out of the blue need to protect your child's virgin ears," she smiles at me, "If I recall correctly, and I usually do, wasn't it you who cussed out the UPS guy because that last package you sent to Nathan took three days longer than it was supposed to?" She turns to Tim, "And when I say cussed, I mean, she put Pacino's character in 'Scarface' to shame!"

I roll my eyes as Tim gets a gleam in his eyes. "Oh, really, you would go off on a cussing tear that rivaled one of the greatest cuss movies ever, and now you're gonna play this butthead situation this way, huh?"

I burst out laughing – I can't help, I can't keep a straight face any longer. "She always cracks first," Brooke comments to Tim, and he nods in agreement.

"Every time," he laughs, "It's like clockwork or something."

"You two are such exaggerators," I decide, picking up my purse so we can get out of here, "Anyways, where are we going? I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry," Brooke sighs, shaking her head, "And that is precisely why I never want to have children. I mean, hello, I gain weight looking at ice cream, so could you imagine how I'd blow up if I actually had like cravings and stuff for it! Hideous, I tell you!"

Tim and I both roll our eyes and laugh as we walk out to the car. "Please, Brookie, you're going to be the one who ends up with four kids and a mini-van with a dog named Fido and a white picket fence," Tim tells her.

"Ha," she snorts, "As if there is even the remotest chance of that happening. Hello, Divorce Queen, right here!"

"Brooke, one divorce does not a Divorce Queen make. When you're on your fifth or sixth, then let's talk."

"You only say that because you've got one under your belt."

"Please, that was an annulment, and you know it," I retort. We both forgot that Tim didn't know about my high school marriage to Nathan until we realize that he stopped walking. "Oh, Tim," I sigh, turning around to face him.

"How long has she known?" he wonders quietly, pointing at Brooke.

I shrug, "I don't know, sometime pretty quick after my would-be wedding with Jason. I just – I don't know, but I don't like to talk about it. It wasn't that I didn't want you to know, it was more that it was hard to talk about."

He nods, but I still think he's hurt I told Brooke and not him. "Okay," he shrugs.

"Tim, it's not a big deal, I promise. I mean, it was a long time ago, and in the end, my parents made it so that it was like it never happened."

"Legally, but not emotionally, not for you. Well, I mean, this is weird," he sighs, "Both of you have been married, and I can't even nail down a girlfriend for more than six months at a pop. I just – it sucks that you never told me."

"It wasn't like I didn't tell you to spite you; you know that. It was just, when I told Brooke, that would've been a horrible, awful time to tell you, and then it was never relevant. I mean, it's just not something that comes up every day, you know?"

He shrugs. "I guess. Did you ever tell Jason?" I shake my head to indicate that, no, I did not tell Jason. "Oh, James, come on, you didn't tell him?" He looks really irritated with me for having kept this a secret from everyone.

"Look, it was weird, okay? How many people do you know get married in high school? Probably just me and Nathan, right? So it isn't exactly something that you bring up a lot, because a lengthy explanation of not only how it came about is in order, but you also have to go into why you thought it would be a good idea. And Jesus, Tim, I couldn't tell you or Jason why I had married Nathan – it would've been like rubbing him in Jason's face, and I couldn't do that!"

He sighs. "Okay, fine, I get it. You know, though, you could've told me since then. Or even before you met Jason."

"It wasn't that easy to talk about," I sigh, "It was always something that was private, special, and I just kind of wanted to keep it for myself, never letting other people's opinions taint it. That's why I never talk to anyone about it."

"Well, why'd you tell Brooke, then, if you never talk about it?" he questions, "What makes it okay to talk to her, but not me?"

"Tim, come on!" I exclaim. Brooke just sits back and watches us, probably thrilled for the distraction and having the heat off of her. If this was back in high school, I would've questioned her slip of tongue as being on purpose, but I know her now, and I know it was pure accident.

"No, Haley, you come on! I'm supposed to be your other best friend, right? Or your other other? Whatever, I don't know anymore. Anyways, I'd be my car that Luke knows, and of course, Brooke knows, so how come Tim doesn't know?"

"Because he talks in third person," Brooke barges in before I even have time to formulate a response.

Tim and I both glare at her, and she just shrugs and glances back down at her fingernails. "Look, Tim, I'm sorry it never came up. I'm sorry I never had that perfect opening to work into a conversation that I had married Nathan in high school. God, it's so unbelievable that when I first told her, Brooke thought it was a joke. I think Luke did, too, for a second, but then he realized it couldn't be," I sigh, blushing at the memory.

He shakes his head. "I just don't get why you couldn't tell me, James. I mean, am I a worse friend than them? Am I bad to talk to? What's the deal?"

"It's none of those things," I exclaim, "Tim, you are a great friend, and you are always wonderful to talk to you! You make me laugh, and you make me smile, and once in awhile, you actually allow nuggets of truth to slip into your advice! That isn't what this was about!"

He nods. "Okay, fine," he sighs, "Just – if you get married again, could you let me know? Or the next time you're planning on revealing deep, dark secrets, tell me, and I'll bring my sleeping bag to the slumber party so I can find out."

"You just hope we'd have a pillow fight in our panties and tank tops," Brooke laughs, rolling her eyes.

"Am I really that predictable?" he asks, laughing with us.

"Yes!" we both exclaim in unison.

"Well, then," he grins, pulling us into a hug. "I can't believe you've both been married. And divorced-slash-annulled. And I'm just hanging out in Single-ville, not even able to get a date!"

"That is kind of wrong," Brooke agrees, "Tell ya what, I won't get married and divorced again until you are with a girl for over six months, okay?" She holds out her hand for him to shake, which he takes.

"Deal," he laughs, shaking his head at her.

"You two are ridiculous," I laugh, putting an arm around each of their shoulders.

"Just the way you like us," Tim reminds me.

He's right, that is just how I like them.

February, 2011

"I've never been more happy to just be average in my life," Nathan sighs from his position spooned up behind me.

"I wouldn't call you average, exactly, though," I point out. He seems to think that just because he didn't make the all-star team, he's just average. Try explaining to him that just making the NBA means he's far about average.

The good thing is, though, that by not making the team, he got to come here, to Tree Hill, for a week, and spend time with me. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow that he'll be able to go to with me, and more to the point, we get to spend plenty of time together cuddled up in bed at his parent's beach house.

"Well, whatever I am, I'm glad that I'm being it here and not anywhere else," he whispers into my hair, tickling the back of my neck. I sigh in contentment as his hands run over my very large belly.

"I can agree one hundred percent with that sentiment," I whisper back, glancing over my shoulder to smile at him. "I'm so glad you're here," I assert, "I've missed you. The baby misses you."

"I know," he laughs cockily, "He's kicking up a storm. It must be the sound of my voice. He knows his daddy is here."

I shake my head, but can't help laughing. "Did you ever think that he or she is always kicking like this?" I ask.

"Nope," he responds, kissing my neck, "You'd have told me if he was kicking you like this all of the time."

I hate it when he's right sometimes. It isn't fair. If the increased levels of activity are any indication, this kid is either going to be a daddy's baby or Nathan is going to have this incredible power to amp it up to new levels of hyperactivity. Either way, I think I'm screwed. These two are going to gang up on me so badly.

I reach my arm back, and rub my hand over his shoulder, unable to get enough of the taste, the feel, the smell of him. It's like I need him to invade every cell of my body, and even then, I don't know if that will fill the cravings I have for him.

"You feel good," he murmurs, kissing my neck again, letting his tongue graze a spot near my ear that he knows I'm particularly sensitive to.

"Nathan," I moan, hooking my arm behind him, trying to pull myself closer to him. I don't know if this extra-sensitivity is a pregnancy thing, which I've read happens, or if it's just a sensory deprivation thing, since I've only seen him about once a month since I found out I was pregnant.

He slides his hand down over my hip, and then up under my shirt. I wriggle back against him, pressing myself as close as humanly possible. "You like that?" he asks, a teasing smile sounding in his voice.

"You know I do," I moan, gasping when his hand slides up to cup my breast, "Nathan, stop torturing me unless you're going to follow through."

He pulls away, sitting up. "Who says I wasn't going to follow through?" he asks as he takes his shirt off. He pulls me to a sitting position, and removes my shirt. "God, you're gorgeous," he whispers reverently. I blush, not seeing what he sees, but the truth is there in his eyes, plain for all to see.

He makes me feel so loved, both in words and actions.

"How has my son been treating you?" Deb asks as she walks into the café.

I grin widely. "He's been wonderful, a prince among men. A little overprotective, but nothing I couldn't handle. He didn't want me to come to work today, but I think we can see who won that round," I joke.

She laughs. "Men just don't understand that being pregnant – even in the third trimester – does not make you an invalid."

"I guess not," I sigh, "And when I reminded him that I'd still be working even after the baby is born, and that the baby would be here with me, I thought he was going to have a coronary. His face actually turned purple." I pat my stomach. "Your daddy isn't going to let you do anything, kid," I inform it.

Deb places a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "He'll get over it. There really does come a point when they realize that they can't control everything, including their wife and kids. And luckily, Nathan had Dan to learn from, and since he is so hell-bent on being different from him, it shouldn't take him much time to realize that."

I nod. "I know, and I think a lot of it stems from the fact that he lives three thousand miles away. I know that isn't easy for him, and I think he's overcompensating when he is here, you know?"

"Very intuitive," she smiles, "And that sounds like my son."

I laugh. "Yeah, typical male Scott behavior overall, I guess. But it's so good to have him here that I can't even complain about his doting. Maybe make fun of it a little, but it's actually really nice."

"Typical indeed. I think even little Eric is starting to really perfect that Scott behavior, which is a little frightening."

"Just further proof that it is genetic, though," I point out, laughing. I've always liked Deb a lot, but she and I have become much closer since we've started working on the café together. It is definitely a good thing, all things considered.

We start going over some fabric swatches I've assembled to try and come up with a scheme that all of us can live with. Since I'm still working part time at the design firm, I've got access to all of these really great deals on fabrics and paints and such. Right now, the building is nearly ready for us to start the decorating, as the last of the drywall went up today.

"I kind of like the plaid," Deb sighs, "It gives it a homey feel, but it doesn't seem too feminine, like the flowers do."

"The plaid is nice," I agree, "And the colors and thickness of the lines are really rather trendy right now, but since its plaid, it should hold up well with changing styles."

"You think we should go for the plaid then?" she asks, glancing back at some of the other swatches.

"I like the plaid," I confirm, "And since it has four or five colors in it, it does give us a lot in terms of what we can do with the accent colors and stuff."

"Thank God for you," she laughs, "I think Karen and I would be painting the walls whitest white and using pre-made curtains and plain tables and chairs. It is going to turn out much better, much more interesting this way."

I smile at her, feeling a little shy from the compliments. "Well, thank you. I'm just grateful you guys have given me this opportunity."

"For the mother of my grandchild? I think it's a small thing to do. Not to mention you are extremely talented, too. That's just icing on the cake."

"Well, it's just great that you've done this for me. I've had a lot of fun, too, so it's pretty much the best kind of work possible," I grin.

She looks up and smiles at me, setting the swatches down. "It's been for me, too, honey. I hope you don't think that we only hired you for nepotistic reasons, because that's just not true! You are very talented!"

I blush, but smile. "Thank you. So, anyways," I clear my throat, wanting to steer this conversation back to something a little more neutral and a lot less likely to make me cry like a hormonal pregnant lady who is about to burst, "We'll go with the plaid." I pass her some paint palettes to look over and make choices on for main color and trim.

And so we work for awhile, stopping only when Karen comes in with lunch from the open and functioning café.

"How are you two doing?" she asks, "Making any progress?" She passes me a bowl of fettuccine alfredo with broccoli and mushrooms, which has been my biggest pregnancy craving. I smile up at her gratefully. Maybe it's because it was the first food I had after I found out I was pregnant, I don't know.

"Thanks Karen, you don't even know how much I was wanting this," I grin, almost squealing when I see she included garlic bread in the package, "You're too good to me!"

"Well, anything for my almost daughter," she laughs. "Now really, tell me what you two have been doing today," she orders even as she passes us lemonades and napkins.

"We chose a fabric," Deb smiles, "The plaid." Karen grins and nods approvingly. "We've also decided to go with a beige for the walls, and the darker taupe color for the trim. It should look very beautiful, judging by the drawings Haley put together."

I pass the sketches to Karen. "That's just a rough sketch filled in with water colors, but it should give you the basic idea," I explain, returning my attention to my food.

"It looks great," Karen smiles, "I can't wait to see how it all comes together!" Her smile falters a little, though, and I now notice how tired she looks. When she sees me looking at her, she smiles slightly again. "The divorce," she explains with a sigh.

"They aren't fighting, are they?" Deb asks curious. "I thought it was going along pretty amicably so far."

Karen nods. "Well, we all had, and it's not out of hand or anything, but it is frustrating. Luke is so adrift now, and he isn't sure what he wants to do. Brooke won't take my phone calls, so I can't even get in touch with her to offer my condolences."

"She's scared you hate her," I tell Karen with a sigh, "She's just so petrified that she's going to lose everyone, not just Luke. In a weird way, I think that's more of her guiding motivation right now than anything else."

Karen sighs, "Well, I wish she'd at least come to the phone when I call her. Poor Tim must think I'm crazy since I keep calling."

I laugh. "Tim is crazy, so he can't be thinking that about anyone else," I point out, "And besides, I think Tim is fully cognizant of how scared Brooke is that people hate her for this, and he knows that if you're calling, it means you don't."

"Those poor kids," Deb laments, "It's hard enough to know what you want and how to deal with life when you're our age, but when you're that young, it is truly more difficult."

"Hey, young one in the house," I laugh, pointing to myself, "Although, I think I prove your point, doing I?"

Deb looks away and Karen just gives me a wry smile. "Well, I think you're doing better now, but there was a point when I wasn't sure if you would ever figure things out," Karen laughs.

Deb laughs with her, but I don't feel like any of it is at my expense. I know they both understand to an extent what it is like to make the tough decisions, and how sometimes the hardest thing in the world is to learn to let you be happy. I guess that I'm just lucky to have two such great women to have learned that lesson from.

The door opens again, and a ragged looking Lucas comes in. "Hey, Mom, Trevor said you'd be here," he announces, referring to a busboy at the other café, "I thought I'd stop by and see how you all were."

"Luke, I thought you were playing golf with Nathan today?" I ask, confused. "Remember, you picked him up at the beach house a few hours ago?"

He nods. "Yeah, we did, nine holes." I nod, even though I have no idea what nine holes has to do with anything. "I just wasn't feeling it, and I think Nathan would rather be spending his time with you than me. He went to the beach house hoping you'd be there. He's probably over and your place now bugging Brooke and Tim."

I laugh. "I told him where I'd be last night! And Luke, I told him again this morning, when you were standing there. Why didn't you remind him?"

He shakes his head giving a rueful laugh. "You know, I forgot. I didn't remember until I got to the other café and Trevor told me Mom was here."

I roll my eyes at him, and Karen shakes her head at his lack of observation. "Luke, I just don't know what to do with you," she sighs, shaking her head in mock consternation.

I hold my hands out to him. "Well, help me up so I can go call him," I order, "Maybe I can catch him before he gets anywhere near Tim and Brooke."

Deb frowns, "Do you think something would happen?"

I shrug, "I don't know, probably not, but why take the chance, right?"

"Always a good point," she laughs.

"Well, and Brooke still really is not a fan of his," Luke pipes, so not helping anything, "And she is way less likely to restrain herself than Tim is."

Once he gets me lifted to my feet, I reach a hand out and smack him with it. "If you don't have nice things to say about Brooke, don't say anything in my presence," I growl.

"Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean anything by it," he responds, "And it won't happen again, scary pregnant lady with the surprisingly Hulk-like hitting arm."

"Hey!" I squeal, laughing, "Don't call me scary and pregnant anymore, got it?"

"Can I call you one or the other?" he jokes.

"Pregnant, yes, scary, no!"

"Got it," he laughs, "I'll be on my best behavior and tiptoe around the pregnant lady from now on."

"You don't have to call me lady all the time," I grumble, "And last I checked, you knew my name still." Deb and Karen are shaking their heads at our childish argument, but both have amused smiles on their faces. "You piss me off," I mutter, finishing my little diatribe. I guess the whole out of whack hormone thing is true, because I am so up and down these days.

He just sits there smiling. "Did you forget what you were going to do when you started yelling at me?"

"You mean when you provoked me into yelling at you by being a complete brat?" I know I'm being childish, but I'm eight months pregnant, and damn it, I feel like being a brat. So there.

"If you weren't pregnant, I'd give you a noogie," he threatens.

"Okay, children," Karen jumps in, "At least one of you should act like an adult from time to time."

"Well, it should obviously be the one who is going to have a child in about a month," Luke grins, poking me in the arm. He is so much closer to being a brother than a friend sometimes that it is completely ridiculous. In a good way, of course. He laughs as he walks into the back room.

"Fine, I'll be mature. Crap, now what was I supposed to do?"

"Call Nathan," Deb laughs from her spot on the floor. She and Karen are looking over the drawings again.

"No need for that," he says from the doorway. I glance up in surprise, not having heard him enter.

"Hey you," I smile, moving as quickly as I can to get to him and throw my arms around his neck.

"Hey yourself," he grins, awkwardly fitting his arms around me. "I missed you this morning."

I laugh. "You just saw me two and a half hours ago, I think you're fine!"

He shrugs. "Well, I did. But, hey, I picked up some passengers on my way here," he says, stepping away from the door. It's now that I notice he isn't quite comfortable with everything, and when Brooke and Tim step in, its obvious why.

I don't know what to do – a part of me wants to cry at this gesture, on all of their parts, really, and another part just wants to sing and dance and rejoice that they can let go of whatever petty bullshit has kept them from liking each other over the years. It's just such a relief, and while I don't harbor the delusion that everything has been magically fixed, it's a start, and a damn good one at that.

"Yeah, Nathan invited us along to come see you," Tim grins, kissing me on the cheek as he walks by, "How's baby and baby mama today?"

"We're both great," I smile, hoping my eyes convey my silent gratification. He might never know how much it means that he can let go of even a tiny bit of what's between he and Nathan.

"Good," he smiles, glancing around to see what changes we've made so far. He and Brooke came with me one morning to check the place out, but neither have been back since most of the renovations were completed. "Looks good in here," he smiles.

Deb and Karen show him around, and apprise him of the changes as Brooke wraps me in a hug. "I miss you," she smiles, and I can tell she means it. I can't imagine what will happen when – or if, I guess – I decide to move to Seattle with Nathan.

"Aw, I miss you, too, Tigger," I tell her as she hugs me. I mouth 'thank you' to Nathan over her shoulder, and he winks at me.

Brooke's gasp startles me, and I practically jump out of her arms to see what she's staring at: Lucas. Of course, I hadn't even realized that she wouldn't know he was here. Karen stands up, moving over to Brooke. She grabs her by the elbow and guides her outside; I know she wants to talk privately, so I just stay behind.

"Well," Nathan sighs, "Maybe it wasn't such a good idea."

I shake my head. "No, its fine, Karen has been wanting to talk to her. Besides, it's going to happen, you know?"

"I think I'll hang out in the – well, where the kitchen will be," Luke announces, "I'll be back in a bit."

"Man, don't go," Tim says, jumping in, "She'll be fine in a few minutes. It's Brooke, she's the tough one, you know? It was just a surprise."

I nod, agreeing with Tim. "And regardless of that, you two need to suck it up. You're two of my best friends, and I'm having a baby in a month, and I'd really like it if you could put your damn differences aside and be around, okay?"

He nods warily. "I just hate that she's so uncomfortable around me, and if leaving will lessen some of that for her, then I really should go."

"No, you shouldn't!" I say forcefully, and everyone left in the room looks at me in surprise. "Look, Luke, I'm sorry, I know you don't deserve me yelling at you, but you two have to put this shit behind you. It's what you both wanted, right? I know you've told each other that, so quit acting like this!"

"It's not that easy, Hales," Luke points out, "It's not that easy to pretend like we never hurt each other! It's not that easy to pretend like things are okay, even when they aren't! We can't all be you and Nathan, now can we?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I yell back. Nathan moves in between us, trying to push me towards a chair. "No, Nathan, I want to hear what he has to say!"

"Haley," he groans, a look of fear in his eyes, "Please, just come sit down." I refuse, and he throws his hands up. I fix my gaze on Luke again.

"You think you and Nathan have resolved things?" he bites out as Deb and Tim both hastily step outside, "Because if you do, then you're delusional, Hales! You two never talked about anything, you never talked about the pain you caused him when you pushed him away for no good reason! You never talked about how much it hurt you when he started dating that girl freshman year! And I know you sure as shit never talked about what you being with Jason almost did to him."

I look from him to Nathan, stricken. The look on Nathan's face makes it more than abundantly clear that Luke is right, nothing is really resolved between us. Sure, we've polished things up so that they're shiny and pretty on the outside, but the inside, that's where things are still tarnished, unresolved. Not entirely fixed.

Luke sighs, stepping to me and wrapping his arms around me. "I'm sorry, I – I – I shouldn't have said anything. God, shit, Hales, I'm so sorry. Nathan, man, I'm sorry." I nod wordlessly, knowing he means that. "I just – I can't pretend, I'm sorry, I snapped. I'm so sorry."

He claps Nathan on the back as he walks outside with everyone else, and the irony of it all is that when I turn and look out the window, I see him and Brooke talking to each other.

"It's not like that, Haley," Nathan says from behind me.

I rest my hands under my belly. "Isn't it, though? God, Nathan, of course it is! You probably don't trust me at all," I say quietly.

"Haley, of course I trust you." He tries to turn me around to face him, but I shrug him off, unable to do as he wishes. "Haley, would you turn around and look at me, please?"

I shake my head. "God, I can't, Nathan! I can't! Everything he said was true, we never discussed any of those things! We just pretend like it's dealt with, like it isn't even there, but it is!"

"So, what?" he asks calmly, stepping around in front of me, not letting me turn away from him again. "I mean it, Haley," he assures me when I scoff, "What damn difference does it make? Does it mean we love each other any less? Does it take away anything that we have?"

I shake my head. "I just – I don't want anything between us, and those things are. I saw it on your face, Nathan, when Luke was saying those things. It's there, and I don't know if we can ignore them anymore."

He shrugs. "You want to deal with it? Fine, we can, but it won't be easy, Haley. Isn't that why we've been putting it off? Isn't that why it just kind of got easier to pretend that everything was fine, and the past was just that, the past?"

"Maybe," I acknowledge, "But Nathan, it's there, and it's staring me in the face now. I don't know what to do with it besides talk about it."

"What do you want to say, Haley? Do you want to tell me that you were pissed when Lucas told you I was sleeping with, God, what's her name? Do you want to tell me that you hate me for the other girls I slept with? Go ahead, Haley, if that makes you feel better!"

I shake my head, rounding on him. "That isn't what this is about! This is about what I did to you, all the ways I treated you like crap! You never said any of the things that you should've, so say them now!"

He shakes his head at me, turning away. "Haley, I told you countless times that I thought it was stupid, and pointless, and that it hurt when you pushed me away, when you broke up with me. I know I covered my feelings on that one. And as for Jason? What's there to say? Yeah, it hurt, but what hurt most of all was that you chose him instead of me. I just didn't get why you didn't want me, why I wasn't good enough."

"Oh, Nathan," I sigh, tears running unchecked down my cheeks.

"No, I mean it. You know all the stupid things I did in college, like bust my ass to get the 4.0? That was for you; I thought if you saw that I could do that, if you saw that I could give up partying, and if you saw that I was willing to change and try and be better, I thought maybe you'd love me again."

"Oh, God, Nathan, I never stopped loving you. Never! Even when I thought I should, I couldn't, and even when I was positive you didn't love me, I didn't! It was always you! It always was, I couldn't help it!"

"Then why are we doing this, Haley? I love you, and you love me, and yeah, shit sucked really hard for awhile there, but it doesn't anymore. Because we know that we don't have to let it! Let's just let the past stay where it belongs, okay?"

I nod, breaking into a sob when he takes me in his arms. "I'm sorry I freaked out," I whisper, tightening my hold on him.

"I know, baby," he sighs, running his hands over my back, "We can chalk it up to pregnancy hormones if you like."

I laugh at his gentle teasing. "That might be the best we can do with this, huh?"

"Hey, don't look now, but everyone is staring in the window at us," he chuckles, "Practically have their faces pressed against it."

I stay in the comforting circle of his arms, already knowing the looks of concern that would be etched across each of their faces. "I bet Luke feels really bad," I comment, my fingers tracing lazy circles on his back under his shirt.

"Probably," he agrees, "But I'm still going to kick his ass. I can't believe he ran his big mouth like that."

"He didn't mean to," I assure him, "And he probably feels a lot worse than either of us do. And in a way, he was right – we needed to clear the air, even if it was just to decide the past is the past."

He shrugs. "I don't know, I just don't see what good it would do anyone to hear the things that you already feel worst about laid out by the person you love most, you know?"

I nod. "I know," I agree, "But when he was saying it, it just made sense that we should say it. But it wouldn't do any good, you're right."

"Hey, so we made some mistakes, right? Look where we are now, we have a baby on the way, Haley. If things had gone any other way, maybe we wouldn't be here now, right?"

When he puts it that way, everything seems so much better, and the past is easier to take. And he's right, of course, if we'd tried to stay together after high school, who knows what would've happened? Maybe things would've progressed to the point where we caused irreparable damage. Then again, maybe not. The point is, sometimes you just don't know, and that sometimes things turn out for the best.

"I love you, Nathan."

He kisses me gently, causing me to moan and pull him closer when he slips his tongue into my mouth. "That's the one thing I always know is true," he whispers against my lips. "You're the one truth I have in this world. I'd do anything for you, for us, for our baby."

"Me, too," I assure him, "Anything at all."

He pulls back, taking a deep breath. "Move to Seattle with me," he requests simply, "Let's be a family that's actually together."

I nod, agreeing. I think my mind has been made up for awhile now, I just hadn't admitted it to myself. "I think that's for the best," I tell him, my voice firm.

His face lights up like a little kid looking at a Christmas tree. "Y – y – you will?" he manages to stutter out, "You'll move to Seattle with the baby?"

I nod again. "Yeah. I want to be with you, Nathan. I want both of us to be there as often as possible for our baby. If I have to move to Seattle for that to happen, then that's what I want to do," I smile, relieved that I've made the decision.

The hard part – telling everyone here – is still to come. I know that it's going to be awful, and that being in a new city with an infant while Nathan is traveling is going to be hard, but I want to be with him.

"When?" he asks simply.

"As soon as the baby is old enough," I shrug, "I'm not sure exactly when that will be. Maybe a month or two. I'll ask the doctor next time I see her."

He nods, unable to keep the smile off of his face. "God, we are going to be together officially," he beams.

And just like that, everything is decided. In two or three months, depending on what the doctor says, me and this child will be moving to Seattle to be with Nathan. In the span of about five seconds, I said my decision aloud, and I've forever altered my life.

"I'm scared," I admit to him, hoping he understands that it isn't about him or even us, just about being away from everything I've ever known, ever loved.

"I know, baby," he says, pulling me back to him.

"I just – I don't know how to leave everyone. It's going to be so hard – what will I do without them?" I wonder aloud.

"I don't know, but I'll be there every step of the way, doing anything I can for you, anything to make it easier."

"I know, Nathan," I smile, "And I love you even more for that." I pull away from him, grinning. "We're going to live together. Can you believe that despite everything we've been through, we've never lived together?" I laugh.

He shakes his head. "Yeah, but we're fixing that mistake now, so I guess it doesn't matter anymore."

"Oh, my God, I'm moving to Seattle," I laugh, rubbing my hands over my lower back. Seeing what I'm doing, Nathan moves behind me and massages the poor, aching muscles for me. "Mm, thank you, baby, that feels so good."

"Has it hurt all the time?" he asks sympathetically.

I shake my head. "Just the last few weeks, and it isn't so bad, I promise. I'm just getting so huge, and my back is taking the brunt of it. I guess now I can sympathize with the girls who bitched about having huge chests," I joke.

He leers at me, openly ogling my chest over my shoulder as he continues rubbing my back, "I don't know, Haley J, seeing as I'm the resident expert on that part of you, I'd say you're definitely growing there, too."

"Hey, that's a pregnancy thing!" I protest, laughing, "Maybe when it's all done, they'll let me keep them."

"We can only hope so," he laughs, "That's a whole lot of pretty right there."

"Nathan!" I exclaim, laughing. I glance out the window and see that everyone is still standing around out there. "Uh, Nathan, should we tell them it's safe to come back in now?" I ask, laughing.

He laughs, too, "I guess that'd be nice. Are we going to tell them now that you're going to move to Seattle with me once this little man is born?"

"Let's not tell them yet," I suggest, kissing his pouting lips, "I just don't want to blurt it out now. I'm going to have to tell people personally, you know?"

He nods. "Yeah, I'm just really excited, really happy that you've agreed to move. I know it's a lot for you to do, Haley. You have no idea how much it means to me."

"Nathan, it's what is best for us, and best for this baby. Of course I'm going to do it. As much as I wish our child could see it's grandparents and our friends every day, I know that it's much more important that it sees you as much as possible. I'm not that selfish."

"I never thought you were," he smiles, "But I just figured you'd want to stay here for awhile. At least until you got things figured out. But you know, I was thinking we could live here for the off-season. Wouldn't that be good?"

I laugh. "I thought you'd never suggest that!"

"Hey, anything for you," he grins, "And you know, what's the point of me having money if we don't spend it and enjoy it, right? So we can get a house here, on the beach maybe, with a boat or something."

I shake my head at him, but don't argue. We can do that later, and I know we will. His extravagance worries me greatly, and I know we're going to butt heads over it.

"We'll talk about that stuff later," I tell him, moving over to the door and sticking my head out to let everyone know it's safe to come back in.

They all still move around a little cautiously and awkwardly, and Luke motions us both over to the side. "Look, I'm really sorry about what I said. I just got nervous about her being here, and I took my shit out on you guys, and you didn't need that or deserve it. I'm really sorry."

"We know," I smile, "You kind of suck for it, but we know you're sorry. It's okay, Lukie, I promise." He gives me a little side hug before glancing over at Nathan.

"We're cool, man, but upset my pregnant girlfriend again, and I'm beating your ass like never before," he threatens him. Luke can barely keep the grin off his face.

"Thanks, you guys, for being so cool about me being a complete dickhead." I roll my eyes at him, pushing past them to go back and sit on the floor with Karen, Deb, and Brooke to resume the discussion of decorating and finish off my pasta. "My pasta got cold," I sigh, mournfully.

I focus all of my attention on the drawings laid out before us, taking notes as each of them throw out suggestions or thoughts. Glancing down at my watch, I'm surprised to see that an hour has passed since I sat down here. I look around for Nathan, and to my surprise – and delight – he's outside looking under the hood of Luke's car with Luke and Tim. They actually look like they're having fun, which is odd. Good odd, but still odd.

I have this lovely sense that things are falling into place, which in a way is weird, because I just made the decision to uproot my life. But that sense just goes to prove further that where Nathan is, that's where I'm supposed to be. As hard as leaving will be, I really think I made the right decision.

Things are falling into place, and not a moment too soon. Less than a month from now, I should be giving birth. Less than three months after that, I should be moving clear across the country to a city I've been to three times. I've always disliked change, resisted it, acted out because of it, so maybe it's weird that I'm so calm about this. Maybe it is just indicative about how right all of this is.