Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or Santa Clause

Warning: Do not read it you believe in Santa, are pregnant or may become pregnant. Consult your doctor before taking potatopixy.

"What happens next daddy?"

"Did Santa see Legolas in Mirkwood?"

"No but… but let's say Cupid met head first with one of his arrows." Aragorn explained.

Santa, now one reindeer short began his decent into Lothlorian as the sun began to set.

He once again unhooked his reindeer and began to enter the woods. He was amazed by the glistening lights everywhere. Mouth wide open, drooling all over his white suit he walked towards the lighted stairway.

"Don't go towards to light!" the ghost of Cupid warned.

"It's so pretty," He continued to walk, hand stretched out, "Ouch sharp!" He had walked straight into Sir Lothlorian Elf whom I am to lazy to think of a name for.

"Look Fred! He walked straight into my arrow." Sir Lothlorian Elf whom I am to lazy to think of a name for said.

"Ha, well would you look at that. I guess we should take him to Galadriel." Fred said.

The guards dragged Santa up the glistening steps, his head hitting each one. His suit was now stained with blood, leaving only white trim. The ghost of Cupid flew above him "I wasn't going to say it but… I told you so."

"But it's so beautiful. I think I shall have families all across the world put lights like these on there house hold."

"That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard of." Cupid groaned.

"Now tell me, how is practically killing yourself to put lights on the roof, making them blink rapidly giving innocent by standards seizures, increasing the electric bill a hundred dollars in the month of December, and leaving them up until August stupid? Not to mention they can also put giant extremely tacky blow up things on there front lawn. Christmas shall be now known as the festival of lights." Santa babbled.

"Um, that's Chanukah. Chanukah is the festival of lights." Cupid reminded.

"Yea, like anybody celebrates that."

As they dragged him by the arms the two guards looked down. "Who's he talking to." Fred asked.

"Not sure." Sir Lothlorian Elf whom I am to lazy to think of a name for responded. They continued to hit Santa's head on each passing step. Eventually his eyes rolled into the back of his head and choked on his tongue. "Well I guess he won't be talking anytime soon."

"Muahahahaha." The elves cackled as they reached the top of the tree.

"What are you morons laughing at?" Galadriel asked.

They dropped Santa. "Umm, there was an intruder."

"Oh." He looked down and the lifeless bloody Santa Claus. "He brings great peril to us, and the smell of Reindeer droppings and rancid eggnog. But he also brings joy to gullible children and horror to families who give into his capitalist propaganda" She said out loud, but then tuned into his subconscious. "I want a pony, and a rocket ship, and a suicide Barbie, and world domination, I mean piece, No wait. I stand corrected. World domination."

Utterly confused by having somebody in her head he awoke suddenly. "What. What?"

"Welcome to Lothlorian, home of the elves Sir Nicolas."

"Elves? Oh ELVES!" Santa finally realized. "Yes. I have been meaning to speak with these so called elves. Can you please take me to there leader."

"That would be me. I am Galadriel, the beautiful and freakishly creepy queen."

"Yes, well I have a proposition for you." Santa stood up.

A/N: I don't exactly know if this is as funny as the first. But please read and review. There is still more. But I am taking it one step at a time. See today was the history behind Christmas lights not to mention I want to hurry up so I can go watch the extended ROTK. Thanks everybody and make sure to check out my other stories.