Ron,

Wow, um, I don't really know what to say. Are you sure there's no way of getting out of it? I thought my summer was going bad, having to live with the Dursleys and all, but Pansy Parkinson?

Sorry mate,

Harry

Harry,

Thanks for the words of encouragement. After your letter I feel one hundred percent better about the whole situation. Really, I mean honestly, she's probably only the second most hated slytherin in our year behind Draco Malfoy, no big deal. Oh, and did I mention that I would also be getting Malfoy's castoff. Apparently she was supposed to marry him. Go figure.

Ron

Ron,

Maybe the situation isn't that bad after all. I mean, really, you're stealing her away from Malfoy. You know he's got to be right upset about that. And, hey, if it had to be a slytherin be glad you got Pansy, she's not bad looking (for a slytherin). Just imagine how you'd feel if it were Millicent Bulstrode instead.

Don't you feel better now?

Harry

PS So, does that mean I get to be your best man?

Dear Great Git,

If that's the best you can do in the way of cheering me up I don't know if you deserve to be best man. I'll be having nightmares of Millicent Bulstrode for weeks now thanks to you. But, seriously, I don't know if they're even going to let you come. Pansy's family members are mostly suspected deatheaters you know. How am I supposed to deal with this? It's a bloody nightmare. If only I were actually going to wake up from it.

Distressed,

Ron

Dear Ron,

There is no way I am going to let them do this to you. I won't have you marrying that deceitful little Jezebel. I need you to send me a copy of that contract. There has got to be some kind of loophole, there just has to be. Honestly, I know the wizarding world hasn't always been the fairest of places but this is absolutely barbaric. I'm trying to convince my parents to let me come back from holiday early so that we can get a head start on this. Your birthday is only two months away so we've no time to lose. To think I'm sitting here on a beach writing this instead of being there with you where I should be. Don't worry, we'll figure this out.

Love,

Hermione

Dear Hermione,

I appreciate the thought and everything but there's nothing you can do. Even Dumbledore couldn't help. The only thing that he could tell me was to always apologize even when it wasn't my fault. What kind of advice is that? If he thinks that I'll ever apologize to her especially when it's not my fault he's got another thing coming. Anyway, there's no point in you rushing back from your vacation early. So just enjoy the rest of your vacation and I'll see you in two weeks, at my wedding. Yes, I have resigned myself to my fate. No, really, I have.

Sincerely,

Ron

Dear Ron,

I'm still going to check into this.

Love,

Hermione

Draco,

If you don't start answering my letters you can expect a few howlers to be coming your way and soon. It's not my fault that some daft ancestor of mine entered me into this crazy contract. I always knew you were a spoiled little baby but I didn't know that you were this bad.

Pansy

PS If you don't answer this that howler that I promised you will include a few details that I don't think you would want anyone finding out about. Including a few that you don't even know that I know.

Pansy,

As much as it grieves me to inform you, my father has decided that we may no longer exchange correspondence as it would be very unsightly to be caught exchanging letters with a member of a family with such mudblood loving ways.

Yours,

Draco M. Malfoy

Draco you bastard my family is every bit as pureblooded as yours and as I recall the Parkinsons have actually gone longer without marrying a muggle than the Malfoys so I would dispense with that superior tone now if I were you.

Best Wishes,

Pansy

Miss Parkinson,

I was actually referring to your new family, you remember, the one that you will be marrying into in a few weeks. Pansy Athena Weasley, it has a nice ring to it don't you think? I'm sure you will be very happy living in a shack with Weasley and raising all his red headed brats. So, how many do you think you'll have? I'd say eight at the very least but why stop there? An even dozen sounds like a nice number don't you think? Well, as much fun as it is writing to you I simply must stop. Oh, I almost forgot, I won't be able to make it to your wedding. Such a shame, it's not everyday one gets to witness a freak show such as a Weasley getting married.

Congratulations,

Draco M. Malfoy

PS This is the last letter that I will ever be sending you. Don't even bother responding.

Weasley,

You have ruined my life. I hate you.

Pansy Parkinson

You hate me! This all your bloody ancestor's fault. And if you think that you are going to walk into my house and start ordering everyone around think again. I know how you slytherins are.

Ron Weasley

(Which is going to be your name too so get used to it)

Weasley,

If your ancestor hadn't been so stubborn we wouldn't be in this situation. And don't worry, I know better than to depend on anyone from your family to do anything competently. I will be bringing a personal house elf.

Sincerely,

Miss. Parkinson

Dear future Mrs. Weasley,

That's right, MRS. WEASLEY. Stop writing to me.

Much love,

Mr. Weasley

Don't worry, I've got much more important things to be doing than writing to the likes of you.

Pansy Parkinson

Yeah, like planning a wedding. To the person of which you have more important things to be doing than writing to the likes of them. Stop writing to me.

Ron Weasley

If you don't want me writing to you then you stop writing to me. And in your attempts to wound me with reminders that I am being forced to wed you, you seem to be forgetting one little fact. You will also be marrying me. I'm sure your little mudblood girlfriend is absolutely heart broken. What's Harry think of all this? I can call him Harry can't I?

Love,

Your future bride

Dumpling,

You know, I think I'll start calling you that from now on. I think all of your little slytherin friends would love it. Also, I'll only tell you this once: Leave Harry and Hermione out of this. And, oh yeah, stop writing me.

Your Loving FIANCEE

Darrrllllling,

I was so pleased to receive your note. To think, in only one more week we'll be married and together all the time.

Anxiously waiting until we're married,

Dumpling

Dumpling,

I also can't wait until we're married. And then you can live at my house with me for the rest of the summer. Sadly, my mother has informed me that you will not be able to bring a house elf along with you but I'm sure that you'll manage.

Only six days to go,

Your Darling Fiancee

Darling,

I'm sure I'll manage somehow. I know you'll be a perfect gentleman and assist me in any way that I may need. I know your mother wouldn't have it any other way.

Hugs and Kisses,

Your soon to be wife

Three days honey, three days. I'm sure you'll love it at my house.

Your darrrllling fiancee

Darling,

Only two days until we're to be married. I thought maybe we could redecorate your, I mean our, room. I was thinking green and silver; doesn't that sound absolutely lovely?

Two days,

Pansy

Love,

Green and Silver would have been really fetching. Sadly, we have already redecorated in crimson and gold. I'm sure you don't mind.

Two days,

Ron

Darling,

Of course I don't mind. All that matters is that we will be together. A lot.

Until tomorrow,

Pansy

Love,

I knew you wouldn't mind.

Tomorrow,

Ron