Meanwhile at the Dreadnok Camp
Meanwhile at the Dreadnok compound in Florida, things were not exactly quiet on the home front. "If you don't pass me the ketchup right now you little twerp I am going to tear you to shreds!" Mystique screamed.
"Yeah if you can waddle your fat body over here," Zanya snarled. The Dreadnoks were all eating chicken and donuts at a huge table.
"Nice try but you know damn well that I'm not going to show for at least another month and a half!" Mystique snapped. "I'm not that far along in my pregnancy!"
"Who said anything about being pregnant?" Zanya snapped back. "I'm talking about your hips! Your butt should have a sign saying 'Wide Load'!"
"Yeah that's tellin' her!" Zarana howled and gave her niece a high five.
"You're going to get a headstone saying 'Here lies a…" Mystique began, holding her knife in a threatening way.
"ENOUGH!" Zartan shouted as his fist pounded the table. "Can't you ladies…and I use the term loosely…Keep your traps shut for one meal?"
"Sure," Zarana said. "Just put a muzzle on old Bluey here!"
"I'll put you in a cast!" Mystique stood up.
"Better women than you have tried," Zarana stood up. "You wanna go?"
"Oh I'll go all right…" Mystique made a fist.
"STOP RIGHT NOW!" Zartan roared before both women could get into a fight. "SIT DOWN THE BOTH OF YOU!" The women did so.
"And they complain about our table manners," Monkeywrench snickered.
"Shaddap!" Zanya threw a chicken bone at his head.
"All right…" Zartan glared at them. "Now I realize that the situation is a bit…tense. Like it or not Mystique is carrying my child and a future Dreadnok so there will be no fighting. At least until after the kid is born."
"Yeah that's fair," Buzzer shrugged. "I mean you wouldn't want the little joey to be born all deformed or anything right?"
"As long as it doesn't take after its mother anything is an improvement!" Zarana glared at Mystique.
"You know you're not exactly a shining apple on the family tree either?" Mystique snarled. "More like a pile of dog..."
"QUIET!" Zartan shouted. "And Mystique as long as you live here you have to abide by the rules! Understand?"
"What kind of rule is it that forces me to be strip searched by you every night before I go to sleep?" Mystique hissed.
"Okay way too much information here!" Zanya yelled, holding her hands over her ears.
"Well there goes my appetite!" Zandar threw down his chicken.
"How many times do we have to tell you people not to discuss your sex life at the dinner table?" Zarana shouted. "Or anywhere else in front of us. We don't want to hear it!"
"Yes we do!" Monkeywrench shouted.
"Go right ahead!" Buzzer agreed.
"We don't mind!" Torch said.
"It is quite fascinating," Road Pig remarked. "YEAH!"
"We want details!" Ripped nodded his head excidedly.
"Pistol," Mystique said casually holding her hand out. Zartan handed her one. "SHUT UP YOU FREAKS!" She fired it at the Dreadnoks, causing them to scatter except for the immediate family members. "Thank you…" She handed it back to Zartan. "And who's to say my child will be a Dreadnok?"
"Hello? Take a look who the father is!" Zanya snapped. "Unless by some miracle it's not…"
"Thirteen paternity tests, two genetic scans and a dead rabbit can't all be wrong!" Mystique groaned. "Believe me, I'm not exactly thrilled about this situation either!"
"Yes, well we are all just going to have to make do with what we have and deal with it!" Zartan snapped. "So let's try to be one happy family shall we?"
"Yeah the Manson family meets the Menendez family," Mystique growled.
"This hasn't exactly been a picnic for us either sweetheart!" Zarana hissed.
"Don't you sweetheart me you…" Mystique began when she noticed Torch flying across the room.
"Mystique…" Torch gasped. "Someone at the door for you."
Sabertooth walked in with the Dreadnoks cringing behind him. "Oh goody," Zanya grunted. "Just what we need, another psychotic over for dinner."
"What the hell is all this?" Zandar asked. "Just who do you think you are…" Sabertooth grabbing his neck and squeezing it cut him off.
"Stuff it Pinky," Sabertooth growled. "Me and Misty here have business!"
"Ah Sabertooth so glad you could join us," Zartan sighed. "If you'd be so kind to put down my brother and pull up a chicken wing…"
Sabertooth glared at him. "It's all right, he's with us," Mystique sighed. "He's the one that busted me out of prison."
"Yeah well," Sabertooth dropped Zandar. "Magneto was really ticked off at you failing like that."
"We have bigger problems right now," Mystique sighed. "We have to get rid of Creed and we need these idiots help to do it. I'm not exactly at the top of my game thanks to him!" She glared at Zartan.
"What happened? He knock you up or something?" Sabertooth guffawed. He stopped laughing when he saw the look on her face. "You serious?"
"I'm afraid so," Zarana grunted.
Sabertooth looked at Zartan. "Sorry pal. Boy are you in for it! I should know."
"You were hardly Mr. Sensitive you know?" Mystique snapped. "Besides it wasn't exactly my fault that Creed turned out the way he did!"
"You were never mother of the year to begin with!" Sabertooth snarled.
"Oh and you were a good father?" Mystique snapped. "What a laugh!"
"Hey, I was around the kid a lot more than you were!" Creed snapped.
"Yeah and look what happened! You stuck him alone in the woods while you went out for beer! Some parenting skills!" Mystique snapped back.
"Hang on!" Torch held up his hands. "Creed? As in that guy on TV Graydon Creed? The bloke running for President?"
"Unfortunately," Mystique huffed. "But he's not going to live to see the primaries if I have something to say about it!"
"Oh I have a feeling whatever you've planned is going to be real good," Sabertooth growled. Then he pricked his ears and sniffed the air. "You expecting company?"
"Not really," Zartan took out his weapon. "Let's go greet our guests."
"It's a Cobra chopper!" Ripper called out as it landed in a nearby clearing.
"No really? I thought it was a flying elephant," Mystique said casually.
"What is this? Bloody Visiting Day or something?" Buzzer snapped.
"I told you we needed a new base, Dad!" Zanya yelled as Destro walked up to them wearing a gold helmet.
"Destro what the hell are you doing here?" Zarana snapped. "Thought you said you'd rather be caught dead than visit our camp?"
"Obviously circumstances have changed," He told them. "Let me come to the point, I'm planning a takeover of Cobra and the world. Anyone interested?"
They looked at each other. "How much are you willing to pay?" Zartan asked.
"How much do you want?" Destro grinned. "That offer goes to you two as well." He indicated Mystique and Sabertooth.
"I ain't interested in money," Sabertooth snarled.
"Well then how about tearing your enemies to shreds and loads more violence than you can handle to dish out?" Destro asked.
"It's a start," Sabertooth grinned.
What is Destro planning? What effect will this have on the Joes, X-Men and Misfits? Next up, Evan's trial is beginning and things really start to get into motion!