Ms. Cooper Meets the Misfits
Valerie Cooper the new head of the Department of Mutant Affairs cautiously stepped down from the helicopter. She pushed her long blonde hair out of her face and subconsciously adjusted her turquoise dress suit. Holding her briefcase she stepped forward to meet with General Hawk and Beach Head. "General Hawk I presume?"
"Ms. Cooper," Hawk saluted out of respect. "Welcome to the Pit."
Valerie nodded. She looked at Beach Head. "Who's the Green Power Ranger?"
"This is Beach Head, one of my command staff," Hawk introduced him.
Valerie nodded. "Of course, Sgt. Sneeden my apologies. I didn't recognize you from your file picture." She neglected to mention the fact that the getup he was wearing would be hard for anyone to recognize.
"Understandable Ms. Cooper," Beach Head remarked in a non committal tone.
"Shall we go inside?" Hawk escorted her to the inside of the base. "I take it you're here to observe the Misfits first hand?"
"Now that there is an actual Department of Mutant Affairs one of the first duties of my job is to gather as much data on mutants as I possibly can," Valerie told him. "Naturally the Joes' mutant team would need to be evaluated. I must commend you General, on your foresight in creating this team."
"Well it just sort of happened," Hawk said honestly as they entered his office. "Ms. Cooper there are some things you need to be aware of…"
"I was fully briefed on the GI Joe team and several of your missions," Ms. Cooper raised her hand. "Both mutant and non-mutant related. I am fully aware of your team's…eccentricities. However considering some of the circumstances that several of these missions occurred, it's hardly surprising." She sat down and looked at her notes. "Cobra creating an emperor to lead it's army as well as several troops from the DNA of history's most ruthless conquerors, cloning dinosaurs, creating a small battalion of ghosts…"
"I know it seems far fetched but those instances really happened," Beach Head told her.
"Far-fetched is putting it mildly," She told him. "Encounters with people with ESP abilities, mutates and mutants, several other non human races including the Primorg, Atlanteans, and a prehistoric race of snake people that once ruled the earth before humans did in a place called…Cobra-La? Did I just read that right?"
"Well…" Hawk shrugged. "Yes. We believe Cobra Commander himself is a member of that race. It's a long story."
"I know," She shook her head as she read the file. "According to my sources your team has even encountered Egyptian Gods and aliens...Who sent you back through time?"
"Well not exactly," Beach Head said. "You see the aliens dropped some kind of machine part when Cobra attacked them. In the explosion somehow a lot of us and some Cobras got transported back to ancient Greece where…" He caught a look at her. "I know it sounds like a bad episode from the X-Files. If I wasn't there I wouldn't believe it myself."
"Yes well my sources are unimpeachable," Valerie told him. "Otherwise I would believe the same thing."
"The Jugglers right?" Hawk asked, raising an eyebrow. "I know you can't directly answer that but…"
"You assume correctly," Valerie said. "May I be perfectly frank? Even if only half of what I have been privy to about your missions is true, it is obvious that the GI Joe team is the most qualified group of individuals to deal with mutants not only in America, but also the world. Quite frankly if it wasn't for the threat Cobra presented I'd have recommended the Joes would be reassigned to dealing with mutants full time."
"So you're putting together your own team?" Beach Head asked.
"Correct," She nodded. "With your help and help from SHEILD I hope to have a fully qualified team of peacekeepers charged with the task of capturing rogue mutants and studying mutant DNA by the end of the year. I may be wary of the danger mutants cause but I am not looking for bigots. I want individuals who can put aside their personal hesitations and do their jobs."
"So what do you need?" Hawk asked.
"Right now I need information," Valerie told him. "Before I see how the Misfits perform I'd like to confirm a few things. Now the Delgado family has been raised on this base, am I correct? All five of them?"
"Six," Hawk corrected. "Shipwreck adopted a baby boy a short time ago."
"Ah yes," Valerie made some notes. "The one with the bird mutation. I remember. But they're not the only children that have been raised on this base, have they?"
"If you are referring to Marissa Fairborne she is currently attending school according to her parent's wishes," Hawk told her.
"Yes the daughter of Flint and Lady Jaye," Valerie said. "But I wasn't referring to her. The one I want to know about is William Kessler."
"Kessler?" Hawk's eyebrows raised. "What do you know about Kessler?"
"Very little," Valerie said. "Especially since nearly all references to his existence were classified 'Extremely Top Secret'. I do know this, when Storm Shadow the ninja first defected to the Joe team sixteen years ago he brought a ten year old boy with him." She took out a picture of a brown haired boy. "He lived here at the Pit off and on for nine years before he completely disappeared. I take it he was the ninja's apprentice?"
"Yes," Hawk nodded. "And no he was not a mutant."
"I didn't ask if he was," Valerie said.
"No, but you were going to," Hawk pointed out.
"Well you have to admit this is quite suspicious," Valerie said. "All his medical files were either destroyed or they're in a file someplace I haven't found."
"Ninjas," Hawk shrugged. "You know how they love their secrecy."
"Hmph," Valerie's tone indicated that she did not quite believe him. "However if you say he is not a mutant I will take your word for it. I would like more data on mutants you have however."
"I was told you would," Hawk gave her a disk. "On this disk are not only all the files on the Misfits, but any information we have on mutants, mutates and Espers."
"All right I know a mutate is someone without an x-gene who was mutated but what exactly is an Esper?" Valerie asked.
"An Esper is someone who has some psychic abilities but does not have an X-Gene and is not mutated," Beach Head told her. "They used to be called psyonics back in the 80's."
"You mean these people are real?" Valerie asked. "I thought they only existed in comic books."
"Our head medic is one," Hawk smiled. "He's a healer."
"There's also a few witches and sorcerers around as well," Beach Head shrugged. "But most of them are pretty low key."
"This is going to be more difficult than I thought," Valerie shook her head. "I suppose it's not a bad idea to know these things. If you don't mind I'd like to meet with these Misfits now."
"Right this way," Hawk got up and showed her. "One of them is currently in the Med Bay assisting Lifeline."
"Yes the one called Dragonfly," Valerie remembered from her notes. "She's studying to be a medic?"
"Not a bad idea considering," Beach Head told her.
"There is something I should warn you," Hawk told her. "Dragonfly is still a bit self conscious about her appearance. Don't be surprised if she's a little nervous around you."
Valerie didn't say anything. As soon as she walked in it was obvious why the girl was nervous around strangers as she got a good view of her wings and antennae. At the moment the girl was tending to a Joe's wounds. "Okay Snow Job what exactly did you say to Scarlet that was so bad she shot you well…Where she shot you?" Lina asked delicately.
The red headed snow trooper was currently in a delicate position himself. He was lying face down wearing only his boxer shorts. Protruding from his posterior were two small arrows. "Let's just say I made a stupid comment about her relationships with Duke and Snake Eyes and just leave it at that…" He moaned. "Although to be fair this isn't half as painful as what those two did to me before that!"
"Come on Dragonfly we have to prep the patient," Bree said. "This is the fun part of the job."
"Oh no you're not gonna do what I think you're gonna do are ya?" Snow Job whimpered.
"Uh, maybe we should talk to her later?" Hawk gulped as he did an about face.
"Good idea," Beach Head gulped.
"Yes…" Valerie followed them just in time. "I think that would be wise."
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!" Snow Job screamed. "IT'S COLD IN HERE!"
"Let's go off to the Misfit House shall we?" Hawk started to walk faster.
"WHERE ARE YOU PUTTING THOSE HANDS?" Snow Job screamed. "I'M NOT HURT THERE! BREE WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING THIS GIRL?"
"I agree…" Valerie gulped walking even faster.
Soon they were in a jeep off to the Misfit House. "The Misfit House is important not only as a base," Hawk told Valerie. "But it provides a psychological support to them. A sense of stability."
"I notice there are no gates around the house. Are you sure it's safe to let them run around loose?" Valerie asked as they pulled up. "What if they try to run away?"
"Run away?" Beach Head scoffed. "Run away? Oh that's a good one! Yeah! If only that would happen!"
"Ms. Cooper," Hawk said sternly. "These mutants are fellow soldiers, not prisoners. Besides for most of them, there's nowhere else for them to go."
"Don't you think it's coddling them that they live in a house and that they have their own rooms?" Valerie asked.
"Considering this is the first real home a lot of these kids have ever had…" Hawk began when a boom interrupted him. "Oh no…"
"COME BACK WITH MY BRA SHIPWRECK!" Cover Girl screamed as she chased him.
"I DON'T HAVE IT! POLLY HAS IT!" Shipwreck shouted.
"POLLY YOU GET BACK HERE!" Althea screamed as several of the Misfits chased the bird all around.
"Yeah you were supposed to snatch Lance's underwear!" Daria shouted as the triplets flew around.
"WHAT?" Lance screamed as the ground shook.
"Uh, their rooms do have locks on them don't they?" Valerie gulped.
"Oh yeah…" Hawk nodded. "Not that they do much good anyway..."
"Time for a hug Beach Head!" Fred opened his arms.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Beach Head screamed.
"They're never going to leave are they?" Valerie came to a realization.
"Not in a million years," Hawk sighed as Beach Head tried to escape Fred's bear hug.
"If this is what we're stuck with…" Valerie blinked. "We're going to need more mutants."
"I think you'd better check out the X-Men next," Hawk told her as Beach Head struggled to free himself from Fred's grasp. "They're slightly more stable."
"Slightly?" Valerie blinked. "What do you mean by slightly?"
Next: Valerie meets the X-Men and finds even more shocking surprises! Speaking of surprises, what's the deal with this William Kessler? Who is he really? You'll have to wait and see!