This is a little spoof I came up with that crosses Buffy and Lizzie McGuire.It's set in the second season of Buffy.
Title-Lizzie the Slayer
Rateing-PG
Disclaimer-I own nothing nor claim to.
HILLRIDGE MEMORIAL CEMETERY
JUNE 14 10:25PM
Lizzie McGuire was many things in this world. She was a straight A honor student at school, part of the student council and on many other committee and function. But her most important job was the one she was doing tonight, stalking and hunting the undead inhabitants of the many Hillridge cemeteries. For thanks to the death of some girl in New York that Lizzie had never met meant she had joined in another special club. For you see Lizzie McGuire was also the Slayer.
Lizzie was moving her way through the rows of tombstones hoping to catch an unwary vampire by surprise. Knowing that stealth and surprise was her greatest weapon when it came to ambushing the undead,Lizzie kept quiet and in the shadows.That was way she wore dark clothing tonight and quietly made her way up to the area where she thought might be some vampires.But she didn't get far when loud shouts started coming from behind her.
"HEY LIZZIE! YOU UP THIS WAY?!"
"YO WHERE YOU AT GIRLFRIEND?!"
Lizzie sighed knowing now thanks to those loud yells her element of surprise was gone. She turned and in the dark picked out four shapes heading her way. Even in the dark it was simple for Lizzie to make out who they were. One was her best guy pal Gordo,walking with him was his cheerleading/Queen K girlfriend Kate Sanders and bringing up the rear was her other bestfriend Miranda and and her boyfriend Larry Tudgeman. Noticing how the guys was about to move off in the wrong direction Lizzie yelled out to them "Hey I'm over here!"
"See I told you I knew just right where to go to find her." said Gordo turning behind him to look at Miranda and stuck his tongue out at her.
"You said that about every part of this spooky place that you drug us around looking for her." said Miranda sticking her tongue back out at Gordo.
"Gees guys can we get anymore immature." said Kate rolling her eyes and tossing her hair over her shoulder.She than moved over next to Gordo and whispeared in his ear "Tell me again why are we out here risking our lives?"
"We're here to help our friend Lizzie fight the good fight and slay the evil that's running amok around here." said Gordo looking at his girlfriend.
"What evil" asked Kate as she looked around the empty cemetery.
"Good God!" said Lizzie hissing through clenched teeth and frowning as the four approached her "Is it even possible for you guys to be a little louder. I don't think the vampires or demons in the next county have heard you yet!"
"Oh sorry Lizzster were we not stealth enough for you?" asked Gordo looking a little sheepish.
Lizzie could only shake her head in frustration.Gordo was actually standing there asking her about his not being stealthy while wearing a Hawaiian shirt that looked like a neon sign glowing in the dark.
"Look I really do appreciate the fact that you guys are willing to come out here to help me with my slaying but...."
"But what Lizzie? Are you trying to say you don't want us here?" Gordo asked with a hurt voice and given her those darn puppy dog eyes of his.
"Yeah Lizzie we've always stuck together" said Miranda "You, me and Gordo.The Three Musketeers that's us."
"Uhh Three Musketters?" asked Larry looking at his girlfriend with the same hurt expression on his face that Gordo had on his.
"Well ok make that the five Musketeers" said Miranda apologetically while hugging Larry.
"Five Musketeers?How did you come up with that?" asked Gordo confused.
"Well" said Miranda as she turned to point at Kate and Larry "Those two Musketeers added to us Three Musketeers gives us Five Musketeers."
"Plus it's also a hell of a good candy bar." said Gordo nodding along with that Miranda logic.
"Guys" said Lizzie trying to reign in the out of control conversation. Between Miranda babbeling, Gordo joke telling and Kate snide remarks it could all start to get on Lizzie nerves.She loved her friends dearly but sometimes they could be too much All Lizzie could do is thank God that Larry was always so quiet hardly ever talking or even making a different facial expression.
"Look you guys...." Lizzie started to say but was cut off when a voice suddenly came out of the dark shadows next to her.
"Lizzie"
"Ethan!" said Lizzie spinning around and staring at the young man who stepped out of the shadows.Well young man wasn't the right word to useconsidering the fact Ethan was a two hundred and forty something year old vampire.
"Well, let's see?" said Gordo sarcastically and rolling his eyes "Black duster, pale skin, brooding looks and wearing enough hairgel to be classified as a fire hazzard. Yep it's Deadboy alright."
"Gordon how many times have I told you not to call me that?" said Ethan frowning at the smaller boy.
"Gees you give a vamp he's soul back and he loses all his sense of humor." said Gordo throwing his hands up in the air "Go figure."
"It's ok Ethan." said Lizzie smiling at the souled vampire "Don't bother trying to tell Gordo anything, he wont listen to a word you say. Trust me I know.Getting him to stop something is like beating your head against a stone wall."
"Hey! If that's the way you people are going to talk about me than me and Kate is just going to leave." said Gordo as he took his girlfriend by the hand and started to walk behind one of the large crypts in the cemetery.
"Aren't you going to go with them? Maybe keep an eye on them make sure they stay safe?" asked Ethan a little surprised when Lizzie didn't follow her friends.
"Nah"said Lizzie shaking her head and smiling "There only going behind that building over there so they can make out."
"I so didn't need to hear that." said Ethan shaking his head in disgust.
"Sorry" said Lizzie laughing at the expression on Ethan face "So Ethan tell me why are you here? You got something new for me?"
"Yeah" said the vampire "I was just in Willy's an hour ago when......."
"Ohhh that demon bar?!" shouted Miranda interrupting Ethan "I've always wanted to go into one of those! Well, a bar that is. Not a demon one. Because demons hey evil you know they do eat people." Miranda stopped when she noticed how Lizzie and Ethan were staring at her "Oh yeah sorry babbling again." Miranda turned to Larry and gave him a mock glare "Your supposed to stop me when I do that."
"I like it when you do that." said Larry softly getting a smile out of Miranda.
"Anyway" said Ethan as he reached into his duster and pulled out a large dagger that had many strange symbols carved and etched into it. Ethan handed the dagger over to Lizzie "One of the vamps at the bar was bragging about his new Big Bad Boss that was in town. He wouldn't talk so I dusted him and took his dagger. It seemed important to him so I brought it to you. I was thinking that maybe Dig would know something about it."
"Well, if there is someone who does know about this thing than it's my good old Watcher Dig." said Lizzie looking down at the dagger for just a second"So Ethan I was wondering would you like to go with me uhh I mean us......." Lizzie looked up only to see that Ethan was gone and had left without a sound and without anyone seeing him do it.
"I got to get a bell for that guy." muttered Lizzie.
TBC