Ichi Shirai is one of my favorite characters from Eerie Queerie (Originally: Ghost). Even if Shuri Shiozudidn't show Ichi enough love in my opinion, I had to give him some. Cuz he deserves it. More than Hasunuma. Really. XD

You have to have read Eerie Queerie to get this, because this is based on finishing the manga series by TokyoPop If you haven't read it... you should!

It's so frustrating. I look up into the trees and I can see the tiny buds coming into being on the branches of the cherry trees. I'm running out of time, and I know it.

Although it's been about a year since Matsuo decided to go with Hasunuma, I haven't been able to forget him. I buried myself in my studies, I took up soccer again (only to drop it because I had cram school), and I even dated a few girls. I stopped going to the temple as much, and I tried to stay away from him, something he did not let me do very easily. He followed me and cajoled me into activities. "Ichi! Let's go to the park! Ichi! Let's go to the movies! Ichi! Ichi!" It drove me crazy with desire. I knew what he was doing with Hasunuma, and his smug face never let me forget it. The bastard. But Matsuo didn't want to give me up as a friend, so I had to make excuses. Cram school and entrance exams for Tokai seemed the best one. Matsuo had no hope of getting in, so I was safe. Safe from him and his smile. But this didn't really work. None of this erased Matsuo's presence from my heart. I even got my first kiss from one of the girls, which was depressing because I can't remember her name now. I took tenth on the midterms, and I'm sure I'll do well again.

I cannot help running away. I push my glasses up with one finger and sigh heavily as I walk. I started wearing them again soon after I lost Mastuo. I shouldn't think of it like that, though. I never had him. Hasunuma always had him. I only got to borrow him a bit.

Then why does it feel like I will never love again?

I shove this from my depressing thoughts. I've always been prone to over thinking things. The school is teeming with people. I avoid the rush and move into my classroom. There. My usual seat next to the window. Somehow I've avoided losing this seat, despite the other seat changes we have made. It's comforting, and I can look outside and see the wind blow through the trees.

I can see the courtyard and, sometimes, I can see Matsuo walking with Hasunuma. I put my bag away and talk with my friends a moment, but my mind is really on the window. I smile, and move away from them, saying I wanted to make sure the weather was going to stay good.

"Why didn't you just check the news?"

Wiseass. "Because I can trust this more," I say, putting my head outside. The smell of imminent spring is on the breeze, crisply alive, and I breathe it in, clearing my lungs of the stagnant classroom air.

But this is the real reason for my morning ritual. There. Matsuo walking to school with Hasunuma, smiling and happy. If I had not known him before, I would have thought he was confident and cheerful, walking with his friend along the path. He's grown so much in a year and it shows in his walk, the way he carries himself.

He senses me watching, even through the trees and he grins and waves towards me, and I have to wave and smile back, knowing he can't see me. He's gotten good at controlling his power. He should, since Mikuni is a task master and a half. Reluctantly, my show is over. Real life pulls me in and the day passes quickly it seems, enveloped in school and the busybody inquiries of my friends. "Did you see that movie?" "Did you go to the game?" "Did you see that TV program?"

I can only shake my head at most of these questions, since I have cram school. I'm too busy to do most of these things, and that's how it should be.

During lunch, I escape them and hide on the rooftop. The school yard looks small from up here, and I can enjoy being alone, watching people scurry along the tracks like ants. My thoughts make me laugh, because if they are ants, then I must be the grasshopper in the cage. My hand involuntarily clenches over the chain link that separates me from a long deadly head dive, and I wonder if Natsuko was right to forgive me? Ah, no matter.

A curry bread, some orange juice, and my privacy is all I need. But I guess the gods weren't listening to my requests today.

"Ichi! Here you are!"

I spit up most of my orange juice and swing around like a startled cat. Matsuo is grinning at me like the happiest being on the planet and my heart starts to pound.

Like the oblivious puppy he is, he asks, "Are you okay? Did I scare you?"

Shaking my head, I ask, "Where's Hasunuma?"

Matuso laughs, the faint breeze weaving through his hair. "He had some duties to attend to. That's what happens when you are part of the Student Council."

I knew he was, but I didn't realize that it left Matsuo alone. "Are you lonely?"

Matsuo moves close to me, looking out of the chain link with me. "Um, not particularly. There are a lot of spirits who want my attention, and then there's you."

He smiles prettily, and my heart skips a beat. "What do you mean there's me?" I ask this brusquely, because I always hoped he'd stay oblivious to the fact I loved him.

"You're always thinking of me," he says so blithely it hurts, "I know that I'm not alone."

"N-not always," I stutter stupidly. He just smiles and runs a hand through his hair. "Well, I guess not always, but often enough that I would miss you if you stopped."

"I didn't realize you were able to do that," I grumble, and he laughs.

"You can thank Mikuni. He says if I keep training, I'll be a great psychic or Shinto priest someday."

"Not like him, I hope. That pervert."

He laughs up at me, and my heart threatens to escape my chest. "Ichi, did you want to go to the movies tonight? Hasunuma has to go to his part time job, but I'd like to see this movie."

"Oh, I didn't realize he had a job."

Matsuo smiles fondly and looks out over the school grounds. "He's very responsible you know. He scored second place for the midterms, and he's on the student council." He averts his eyes and mutters, "I got like fifty-nineth. I'm in real trouble if I don't study."

"But you want to go to the movies?"

Puppy eyes tear at me as he pouts, "But I've been waiting for this movie to come out!"

I can't help it. "Okay, yes. I'll go with you." It means I have to miss cram school, but I don't think one night will hurt.

He grins and runs off, waving and promising to meet me after school. My heart betrays me and I smile, the joy of Matsuo burning inside me.

I'm a damned fool.