Authors Note: Hey, hey, hey! Both Deanna and I (Brittany) hope you'll love this ficcy we are calling: "When Parodies Attack...This is the Result". Like it said in the name, we will do a lot of celebrity bashing, the fun kind, hehe. We hope you like it! Now, read on and review when you're done!
Chapter Uno:Deafening ruckus came out of a ugly yellow school bus. On the side of that bus, these words were written: "Degrassi Community School! Horace Green or Bust!" Inside that bus, sat a bunch of idiots. Well..Some of them were idiots at least.
Driving the bus was poor Dan Raditch. He was surround by a bunch of tenth and eleventh graders. They were on the way to New York to visit their sister school, Horace Green. Sitting behind Raditch was a twitcher. Craig Manning eyed everyone in the bus carefully. Across from him was a small girl, who at the moment was applying make-up to her very pretty face, this girl who was know as Manny..Belonged to the species of "slut."
"Craigy? Can you hand me a tissue?" Manny asked, winking at Craig
"Ah! Ashley! She's doing that wink thing again!" Craig screamed, his eyes wide with fear
"Stay away from my piece! I've worked far too much to get him!" Ashley yelled, steam blowing out of her ears
"Sorry" Manny said, sarcastically "Now..Spinney? Can you hand me that tissue?"
"Sure, fluffy puffy" Spinner said, handing Manny a tissue
"Thanks, doll" Manny said, blowing her nose
At this moment, Dan Raditch was humming his favorite song. Nothing could brighten his day more than a good old tune by the great Willie Nelson.
"On the road again..I just can wait to get on the road again. Riding down the road and snorting coke with my friends! Oh, I can't wait to get on the road again" Dan Raditch sang..This man will now be called Dan Vito.
----
Meanwhile, back at Horace Green, Miss Mullins was pacing back and forth inside her office. The tall principal of Horace Green was accompanied by Summer Hathaway.
The reason for the pacing was one that was only a big issue to Miss Mullins. Summer thought it was just funny. Earlier that day, a limo had pulled up to the school, throwing a boy out of it. Summer had witnessed it, and the boy sat inside Miss Mullins office, quietly looking around.
"Miss Mullins, maybe you should talk..." Summer suggested. Miss Mullins stopped and looked at the boy, who was now whistling a Simple Plan tune.
"What is your name, son?" she asked him, tapping her fingers on the desk. The boy raised his eyes, looked at her, and flashed a bright white smile.
"My name is Chad Matthews." he said.
Summer scrunched up her nose. He was the type of boy that liked to charm ladies. She could only assume that. With a smile like that, she was sure of it.
She stood up and looked at the paper she had been preparing. It had a list of questions on it that she was planning on asking this Chad boy.
To make everything seem more professional, she put a lamp over top of Chad's head, as if she was asking him if he had made a crime. She walked in front of him, looking at her paper, and clicking her tongue.
"Who threw you out of that limo, and why?" she asked him, staring with almost a glare.
"Hilary Duff did. She totally broke up with me, and dude, it was harsh." he answered. Both Summer and Miss Mullins exchanged looks, and then burst out laughing.
"Right, and I'm sure that I am dating Dewey," Miss Mullins said, continuing to laugh. This only made both Summer and Miss Mullins laugh harder.
After a few minutes of harsh laughter and the tearing up of eyes, Chad interrupted them.
"I am totally serious. She dumped me like her pair of 400$ Ugg boots..." he said, shaking his head.
"Enough joking, Mr. Matthews." Miss Mullins replied.
----
The ugly ass yellow bus pulled up in front of a building. But, this was not just a regular building...It was a school. But, this building was not just a regular school...It was Horace Green Pergatory School..Oopsie..Wrong use of word, but whatever...BUT, Horace Green was not just a regular school! It was the sister school to none other than: Degrassi Community School, also known as DSC. That is the reason why this ugly yellow bus pulled in front of the building.
The bus came to a sudden stop, the tire screeching. Inside, Dan Vito (Mr. Raditch, remember?) sighed. That was way too close. He had a bunch of kids with him, he didn't need to go to jail again. He looked back at his students and sighed even deeper. This sucked.
"Okay! Kids! Get in line! Single file...We're in New York!" Dan Vito screamed, shooting up from his seat
Brittany (xobadrhymer03): Who know he could be so mean? It just so suspiring, ain't it?
"Are you sure this is the right place?" Paige asked, her eyes bulging out of her head
"Yes...I'm sure" Dan Vito said with a sigh
"Okie dokie artichoke...Let's go! If you want me, you can get me, let me know!" Manny sang, dancing around idiotically
"Shut up" Ashley said, her eyes gleaming red "We know you can get whoever you want. You don't need to brag"
"No, you shut up. Flaunt what you've got, honeybee!" Spinner exclaimed, clapping his hands together excitedly
"Honeybee...Bastard" Paige grumbled
The "crew" walked out of the bus in single file. Standing in front of the school waiting for them were the Horace Greeners. Amazingly, the only students were the ones featured in the movie. With the exception of a few perfect extras.
Dan Vito walked over Miss Mullins and hugged her. They had been "friends" (wink, wink) for a long time. He smiled at her and raised his hands up over his head.
"We're here!" Dan Vito said, excitedly
"I can see that" Miss Mullins said, dully
"Okay...So, where are we staying?" Dan Vito asked
"Wherever you think is comfortable. Which means wherever you can find. A hotel, motel, your filthy bus..A car..A BENCH" Miss Mullins said, digging her fingernails into Summer's shoulder
"Owie" Summer said, starting to suck her thumb
"Honey...Everything will be okay! You are the sun, the moon, the stars" Freddy said, running over and scooping Summer up into his arms
"I love you, babycakes" Summer said
"I love you more, fluffy" Freddy said, kissing Summer
While Summer and Freddy made out, Katie had her eyes on something. He was standing by a very insecure looking girl, his twitching was hot. It was even as hot as he was. Her mouth hung open and drool rolled down her chin.
"Where does that hotness come from?" Katie asked, running over to Craig
"What?" Craig asked, confused
"You are so hot" Katie said, placing her head on Craig's shoulder
"No! Not another woman who is hypnotized by my hotness!" Craig said
He screamed, running away from Katie. His screaming deafening everyone, who was amazed by how big of a wimp someone could be. Craig continued to run until he reached the middle of the highway, which had magically appeared right next to Horace Green. He stopped and looked around, sweating.
"Stop, drop and roll" Craig muttered, dropping onto the highway
He started rolling around as a bus came. He saw the bus and screamed again, this time even louder...The scream could be heard all the way in Africa, which pissed the African's off. He got up from the road and ran over to Katie, laying in the comfort of her arms...Even though he could of went to Ashley. Stupid asshole.
Ashley was fully aware. She angrily ran over to Craig, her delicate hand painfully slapping Craig's face.
"How could you!? I hate you!" she yelled, and walked away. Craig stood up.
"Ashley, wait!" he said. "I love you!"
But the poor boy's screams were nothing to Ashley. She was already long gone. Craig sat back down on the curb. Katie suddenly appeared over his shoulder.
"Rebound," she smiled, and rested her head on his arm. "We were destined-" she paused. "What was your name again?"
"Craig." he said with no tone to his voice.
"Oh right," she sighed.
---
Chad Matthews, the boy previously introduced, sat inside Miss Mullins' empty office, tapping his fingers on the table furiously.
"God, they don't even pay attention to me here," he grumbled. "That is totally un-cool."
He ran his hair through his semi-long bleached blonde hair and got up. "Why did Hilary dump me, I love her so much," he cried to himself. Well, not himself. The desk clerk heard as well.
"Honey, if you want to be considered cool at Horace Green, you have to drop the whole Hilary Duff thing." she said, lifting her head to look at Chad.
"Right" Chad said, biting his fingernail "I should learn to do that...But, why must I love her so much! She is just so perfect!"
The desk clerk clicked her tongue, rolling her eyes. Chad sat there pathetically crying over Hilary Duff, the one person the writers of this cough story...hate.