Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter characters, they belong to J.K. Rowling, I think you know that quite well by now. Don't sue!
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-Une Soirée-
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Chapter 4 - Introductions
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When Remus' alarm rang at seven the next morning, he jumped out of bed. It wasn't that he was excited to get up. It was just that he was so wired that his nerves were making him do odd things. His left eye was jittering, as well. He sighed, rubbing under his twitching eye. He felt sick to his stomach. Totally unable to stand it, he burst into Guillaume's room.
His brother was still half-asleep, and it took awhile before he seemed to figure out what was going on. Rem? What is it?
Remus seized Gill's wand from the night table and thrust it at him. Put a Cheering Charm on me! Please!Wha -? Why? What's got you bummed? Gill blinked. I thought today was a happy day.I'm too nervous, Remus said. I can't stop worrying.So it's true, then, Gill said.
Er - pardon?I was wondering if Sirius was one of the Blacks, Gill said unhappily. I mean, I figured he just had the same name, but wasn't related to any of them. He seems like such a nice bloke, I couldn't think for a moment that he'd be part of that awful family.Well, he is, Remus said glumly. In seven hundred years, only three Blacks were born decent - Sirius, his cousin Andromeda, and her father Alphard.No wonder you're so upset about them meeting Mum and Dad. Why didn't you say anything?Well, I didn't want to burst their bubble... I mean, they seemed so happy... I couldn't bear to ruin the party...
Gill put his wand aside and hugged his little brother instead. It's okay, Rem. As rotten as the Blacks are, there is such a thing as keeping up appearances. They'll have to be polite to Mum and Dad, no matter how much they dislike them. After all, they're going to be guests in our home. Don't fuss, okay? You get a special Big Brother guarantee. Everything'll be okay.
Remus hugged back, suddenly aware that he felt a little better. Not completely at ease, but much better than he had felt when he got out of bed. His eye wasn't twitching anymore, either. No problem. You'd better go get dressed - Mum'll be calling us for breakfast soon. Remus returned to his bedroom and pawed through his suitcase. He chose a nice pair of jeans (no rips, no holes, and only a mild flare to the cuffs) and a plain tan sweatshirt. He pulled the outfit on, put on his trainers, and carefully applied the lightest layer of eyeshadow possible. He brushed his hair neatly, gave himself a critical glance in the mirror, and headed downstairs for breakfast.
The kitchen was packed and semi-chaotic. Mrs. Lupin was dishing out scrambled eggs as fast as she could, as Mr. Lupin poured coffee. Henri was sitting on the counter to eat, having given his grandmother his chair, and Serena had squished herself into a corner so as to be out of the way. Sirius was there, looking as pale and clammy as Remus felt, nervously nibbling on a cornbread muffin. Uncle Nicholas was talking loudly over the confusion, trying to make himself heard to his wife. Aunt Beatrice obviously hadn't heard; she was passing out muffins. As Remus edged into the room to perch on Sirius' knee (the only seat left), Gill joined the confusion and was promptly beaned in the head by a muffin.
Morning, love. Sirius kissed his cheek. How are you feeling? Remus caught the muffin his aunt threw to him from across the table and began picking at it. How come you didn't come upstairs to see me?I was going to, but your mum made me sit down and eat. She said I looked ready to pass out. Sirius smiled weakly. Didn't know I showed nervousness that well.Just bear in mind, it'll all be over this time tomorrow, Remus whispered.
If we aren't dead by then.
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After breakfast was done, Mrs. Lupin and Aunt Beatrice set to work, cleaning up the dishes and preparing food in a whirlwind of activity. Sirius and Remus, feeling somewhat claustrophobic, fled to the openness of the back garden.
Boys! Give me a hand with these, would you? Mr. Lupin called as they emerged onto the porch. He was tussling with the Lupins' white plastic lawn chairs. Remus and Sirius hurried to help.
Where do you want them?The porch and the patio. Oh, and we need to set up both tables. Your mother and your aunt will have the food ready soon.
They had barely finished setting up the furniture when the back door opened and Lupins poured out, carrying dishes and plates of food. Remus, Sirius, and Mr. Lupin leaped out of the way.
Guess that's the cue to break out the old Binford! Mr. Lupin said cheerfully, heading back to the shed. At the same time, the doorbell chimed faintly. Remus squeezed around his family and hurried into the house to answer it.
Wotcher, lads! It was Sirius' cousin Andromeda, with her husband Ted and their six-month-old daughter, Nymphadora. She kissed their cheeks, holding the baby out to Sirius. Someone's missed you, Puppy.
Nymphadora screeched and grabbed Sirius' hair, making him wince. Glad to see you, too.Everyone's out back, Remus said. I'm sorry we aren't ready yet, but...Nah, we're early. Andromeda and Ted followed Remus outside, and Sirius brought up the rear, still trying to get Nymphadora to let go of his hair.
Mum, Dad! Remus yelled. MUM! DAD!
His parents disentangled themselves from the bustle and joined them. Mum, Dad, this is Sirius' cousin Andromeda and her husband. Remus introduced them. Andromeda, Ted, this is my mum and dad. And somewhere around here is... Sirius said in a disgruntled voice, appearing at Remus' elbow. He thrust the baby back into her mother's arms and smoothed his hair. Charming girl.
The Lupins were thrilled with the baby. Remus, however, was less than thrilled. He had just realised that his father was wearing one of his old, faded t-shirts and a pair of cargo shorts that left his extremely hairy calves exposed to the world. Even worse, he was wearing Jesus sandals with white socks. Remus cringed, but there was no time to tell him to change. The doorbell rang again. Remus hastened to answer it.
It was James and Lily, with Peter and Grace. they all chanted, beaming. Remus grinned back, standing aside to let them in.
We brought food! Lily announced, holding out her specialty - chocolate cake. Grace had brought along a big bag of potato crisps and a homemade cherry pie.
It looks delicious, said Remus, ushering his friends through the house and into the back yard. James made a beeline for Sirius and clapped him on the back; Lily and Grace were caught in a big hug by Mrs. Lupin; and Peter headed straight for the snack table.
The doorbell chimed again. Remus quickly thrust Lily's cake and Grace's pie onto the nearest chair and hurried to answer it.
Remmie - Sirius broke loose from James' grasp and dashed after him. Maybe I'd better -
Too late. Remus had opened the door.
He blanched. Sirius' family was standing there, dressed in their very best (which was, for the Blacks, very good). He gulped. Why would they wear their very best? Didn't they realise this was going to be an outdoor barbecue? No, of course not. The invitation hadn't mentioned a barbecue, or a dress code.
Remmie - Sirius skidded to a stop behind him. I - er... hi, Mum, Da.....
His father's eye was twitching, his face was flushed, and he seemed to be beyond speaking. Regulus and Bellatrix were smirking. But Mrs. Black wasted no time in speaking up.
Sirius, is this your.... fiancée? She said fiancée the same way other people might say manure.
Erm... yes.... this is Remus, Sirius said. Um... come in?
Remus felt rather than saw the looks the Blacks were casting around at the Lupin's clean but comfortably shabby house as they headed out back. He swallowed hard, and Sirius took his hand. There was a sound that may or may not have been several sets of teeth grinding behind them.
M-Mum, D-Dad? Remus called. Er... the rest of Sirius' f-family is here.... The Lupins snapped to attention, and the introductions began.
Mr. and Mrs. Lupin, this is my mum and da, and my little brother Regulus..... my cousin Bellatrix and her husband Rodolphus... my cousin Narcissa and her husband, Lucius... Rodolphus' brother, Rabastan...Mr. and Mrs. Black, these are my parents... my older brothers, Guillaume and Henri... my little sister Serena... my Aunt Beatrice and Uncle Nicholas... and my grandmamma, Dominique...
There was a pause. The Lupins were eyeing the Blacks' fancy clothes, evidently wondering why they would wear outfits so extravagant to a barbecue; the Blacks were eyeing the Lupin's outfits, which were clean and neat but obviously not their best. Sirius and Remus exchanged glances with each other and their friends.
Mr. Lupin said, a little too heartily, Glad to meet you!
There was another pause.
Erm - would you like to sit down? Mrs. Lupin said timidly.
The Blacks eyed the patio furniture. There were a few minutes when Remus fully expected them to decline; but then Bellatrix, Narcissa, Regulus, and Mrs. Black dropped into the nearest chairs. Mr. Black, Rodolphus, Rabastan, and Lucius remained standing, looking uncomfortable. Mr. Lupin took this as an opportunity to speak.
Well, I guess I'll get started with the grill, he said in a good attempt at cheerfulness, heading over to the Binford. Hot dogs, hamburgers, and chicken wings, to begin with! He tied on his apron. Remus groaned; the Blacks looked revolted, except for Bellatrix and Regulus, who were fighting back giggles.
Mr. Lupin's favourite apron, the one he was wearing now, was a long white one printed with the motto Kiss The Warlock, along with lips and hearts. It came with a large, puffy white chef's hat, which Mr. Lupin was now putting on. He made a ridiculous sight. All four Lupin children had been embarrassed before by their father's grilling attire, but this had to take the cake. Regulus was nearly purple with the effort of holding in his laughter. Sirius kicked his brother hard in the shin.
Ouch! What d'you think you're doing, you stupid -Shut up, Sirius growled through clenched teeth. As soon as his parents looked away, he bent down to breathe in Regulus' ear : And if you don't behave, I swear I'll kill you.Yeah. Right. No, you wouldn't. You'd end up in Azkaban, and I doubt your little bedfellow there will be allowed a conjugal visit.
Sirius resisted the strong urge to slap his rotten little brother upside the head. Eat it.No thanks. Why don't you offer it to Remus?
Sirius growled menacingly and walked away, over to where Andromeda was bouncing Nymphadora on her knee and chatting away happily with Aunt Beatrice and James. Little brothers - who needed them?
Ted was standing at the grill with Mr. Lupin, and the two men were talking about different grills and different brands of charcoal, comparing the use of coals to wood chips. Serena was eyeing Regulus, and Sirius wondered if she knew how rotten he was under that gorgeous exterior.
Mrs. Lupin had just finished lining up Tupperwares filled with ketchup, mustard, relish, and other condiments on one of the tables, with the help of Lily, Grace, and Grandmamma. She smiled at Sirius as he approached.
he muttered to her. We tried to warn you. They're.... not the friendliest people you'll ever meet.Oh, don't be sorry, Mrs. Lupin said softly, patting his arm. It's not your fault. I wasn't listening to Remus when he tried to tell me. She smiled. We can just do our best and suffer through.
He smiled back, and bent to get a soda out of the cooler by her feet. As he straightened up and popped the top, Uncle Nicholas emerged from the house, carrying a huge platter filled with a whomping pile of hamburgers and hot dogs. Ready to cook, Devereaux?Sure, bring them over! Mr. Lupin called back. Who wants what?
Well, at least the Blacks were polite enough as they told Mrs. Lupin what they wanted. None of them looked thrilled at eating such mundane cuisine, but no one complained. Mr. Lupin slapped the first round of burgers on the grill, and turned the flames a little higher.
POOOOF.
Fire blossomed from the grill in a bright pillar, making everyone scream.
To Be Continued.
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(A/N: A few points I must address. First, someone pointed out to me that in Chapter 3, Remus shouldn't have been polishing silver, since silver kills werewolves. Duh. I completely wasn't thinking when I wrote that. Pretend the rag he was using created a shield, or something.
Next: someone else asked me if my use of toy boy' was correct. Yes, I know it's boy toy' here in America, but every British movie and sitcom I've ever seen says toy boy'. Since the HP characters live in England, I stuck to the British usage. Double duh.
I also know that Prisoner of Azkaban is out on DVD! I'm dying to get it, but I already asked for it for Christmas, so I have to wait. (Besides, I have to spend all my money on Christmas presents, not on myself.) So to pass the time, I spend my days going through every magazine, TV Guide, newspaper, and department store flyer in the house, finding the adverts for PoA, and circling them. I put arrows and sparklies and exclamation points all around the adverts, and write CHRISTMAS!! in big letters. Then I leave the pages lying around the house where my parents can see them. And I squeal loudly when the commercials come on. If I don't get the PoA DVD this Christmas, then my parents must be absolutely dense.)