Title: What it Feels Like for a Girl (2/?)
Author: Beach Blonde Babe
Rating: I'm putting it at an R for now, but only because I don't know what's gonna happen later. Right now, it's at about a PG-13, for language.
Series Summary: Xander plays dress up at Dawn's insistance, but after a spat with Anya, badness ensues.
Chapter Summary: Xander wakes up feeling like a whole new "man." Spike takes advantage of that.
Pairing: Spike/Xander, mentions of Xander/Anya
Disclaimer: These people aren't mine (God, do I wish they were.) Joss owns them, the lucky bastard. I just play with them and then put them back.
Distribution: If you really want it, take it. Just let me know where I can find it afterwards.
Spoilers: None, really.
A/N: This is un-beta'd. I'm sorry if there are any glaring errors. You can write me a long long review on how stupid I am.
A/N 2: This takes place after Hush sometime. Dawn's in it, for my purposes, and Tara's in it, 'cause I like Willow and Tara together. So there you go. You can put this story anywhere you want to, within those parameters.
Ch 2: Man, I Feel Like a Woman!
Xander awoke groggily the next morning. He vaguely remembered leaving Buffy, Dawn, and Mrs. Summers at their house before returning to the Basement of Doom, and flopping down on his bed. He looked at his pillow, and made a face at the dark smears that were the remains of his makeup. //Crap. Left all the crap on.// He sat up and stretched. If his makeup was still on, he must have left his "costume" on too. He sighed. //Oh well. Not that much of a big.// He suddenly got the chills, and realized that he was being watched. He looked around quickly, grabbing the stake he kept under his pillow, and brought it up in a battle-ready stance. He heaved a sigh or relief, and lowered the stake, when he realized it was only Spike. "Creepy much?" He spat out, shooting daggers at Spike with his eyes. Weirdo vamp, watching him sleep. He noticed the blonde's mouth hanging open, and decided to put him in his place. "It's best to keep your mouth shut, y'know. You catch less flies that way, and it's less likely that you'll say something stupid if your mouth isn't open." He got up, stretched again, and looked back at Spike. His mouth was closed now, but he opened it again.
"G-g'day." He stammered out. Xander arched an eyebrow, shook his head, and then walked to the bathroom, feeling Spike's creepy gaze on him until he shut the door. Spike stared at the door for a while, not knowing what to do, until he heard a blood curdleing scream from behind the closed door.
"It's gone!!" Xander burst from the bathroom, skirt down around his ankles. Spike watched in shock as he tripped, and tumbled to the floor. He jumped up and ran to Xander's side.
"There, there, pet." Spike cooed, helping Xander up. He pulled up Xander's skirt gently, and prushed away the tears flowing freely down Xander's cheeks. "Now then. What seems to be missing, pet?" Xander looked at Spike incredulously.
"What do you mean, 'What's missing,' you idiot??" Xander slapped Spike's shoulder, while Spike stared on in surprise. "Are you that dense?" Spike was taken aback by Xander's harsh words. Much to his embarrassment, Xander pulled down his skirt, crying, "My dick is gone!"
Spike stared at him, dumbfounded. He opened his mouth, and shut it, and repeated this a few times, looking like a great big blonde fish. Meanwhile, Xander cried, lamenting the loss of his manhood. At length, a though dawned on Spike, followed by realization, and he spoke.
"Xander?" Xander looked at Spike as if he had gone absolutely nutso.
"No, Idiot Jeb down at Bucky's Fondue Hut! Of course I'm Xander, you ass!" He flopped down onto the bed and began pinching himself. "I'm going to. Ow! Wake up. Ow! Any. Ow! Time. Ow! Now. Ow!"
Spike could do nothing but stare dumbly for a moment. It all made sense now. Xander locked eyes with him, and Spike burst out laughing, his crystaline eyes lighting up in mirth.
Xander glared at Spike in abject horror. He knew the blonde vampire was evil, but to laugh when Xander had lost Xander Junior? "You are beyond sick!" He leapt up, grabbing the stake he had dropped, and charging Spike. Spike stepped aside, wrapped his hands around Xander's wrists, and flung him back on the bed, stifling a laugh. Xander landed with a grunt.
"Xan, pet, please, calm down and come into the bathroom with me for a sec." Xander just glared at him, holding his wrists. Immediately, Spike felt bad. He had hurt Xander. But he pushed the thought out of his head. "Xander. Come with me. I'm not asking you." Still glaring, Xander rose from the bed, and lead the way into the bathroom, with Spike trailing behind him.
Spike slid behind Xander in the bathroom, guiding him in front of the mirror. Placing one hand on Xander's waist, he used the other to lift the downcast face up to the mirror. He smiled at Xander's audible gasp. "Now do you get it, Whelp?"
Xander took himself in. He was still wearing last night's outfit, only he had changed. Staring back at him was his non-existant twin sister. His eyes, softer now, with longer eyelashes, stared back at him. They were different. But they were *his* eyes. Full red lips, his nose, though now smaller, and his cheekbones, only softer, more feminine. A soft, rounded jawline, and all this framed by a mass of dark curls, reaching down to Xander's back. His shoulders much smaller than they were, and on his chest were breasts that sure as hell didn't belong to him. He decided not to think about that. His eyes travelled downwards, Xander saw a narrow waist and a flat stomach. Rounded hips, larger than usual, led to long, lean legs. He definitely was not going to think about his lack of -. //No. Not thinking about that. Definitely not thinking about *that*.// He turned on Spike, and found that his head ended just under Spike's chin. That meant that he was shorter now! Hell! He was shorter even than Buffy now! "God damn it, Spike! What the hell is going on?" Spike grinned, leaving his hand at Xander's waist, using the other to push back a few stray strands of Xander's hair, tucking it behind his ear.
"Dunno, pet. My guess?" He grinned as Xander looked at him expectantly. "You got turned into a chit." Xander gave an anguised cry, pushed Spike away, and stormed out of the bathroom. Spike's grin got all the wider. This was going to be fun.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Poor, poor Xander. What'll happen next? Well, you don't think Spike'll keep the rest of the Scoobs out of this, do you? More coming soon!
Author: Beach Blonde Babe
Rating: I'm putting it at an R for now, but only because I don't know what's gonna happen later. Right now, it's at about a PG-13, for language.
Series Summary: Xander plays dress up at Dawn's insistance, but after a spat with Anya, badness ensues.
Chapter Summary: Xander wakes up feeling like a whole new "man." Spike takes advantage of that.
Pairing: Spike/Xander, mentions of Xander/Anya
Disclaimer: These people aren't mine (God, do I wish they were.) Joss owns them, the lucky bastard. I just play with them and then put them back.
Distribution: If you really want it, take it. Just let me know where I can find it afterwards.
Spoilers: None, really.
A/N: This is un-beta'd. I'm sorry if there are any glaring errors. You can write me a long long review on how stupid I am.
A/N 2: This takes place after Hush sometime. Dawn's in it, for my purposes, and Tara's in it, 'cause I like Willow and Tara together. So there you go. You can put this story anywhere you want to, within those parameters.
Ch 2: Man, I Feel Like a Woman!
Xander awoke groggily the next morning. He vaguely remembered leaving Buffy, Dawn, and Mrs. Summers at their house before returning to the Basement of Doom, and flopping down on his bed. He looked at his pillow, and made a face at the dark smears that were the remains of his makeup. //Crap. Left all the crap on.// He sat up and stretched. If his makeup was still on, he must have left his "costume" on too. He sighed. //Oh well. Not that much of a big.// He suddenly got the chills, and realized that he was being watched. He looked around quickly, grabbing the stake he kept under his pillow, and brought it up in a battle-ready stance. He heaved a sigh or relief, and lowered the stake, when he realized it was only Spike. "Creepy much?" He spat out, shooting daggers at Spike with his eyes. Weirdo vamp, watching him sleep. He noticed the blonde's mouth hanging open, and decided to put him in his place. "It's best to keep your mouth shut, y'know. You catch less flies that way, and it's less likely that you'll say something stupid if your mouth isn't open." He got up, stretched again, and looked back at Spike. His mouth was closed now, but he opened it again.
"G-g'day." He stammered out. Xander arched an eyebrow, shook his head, and then walked to the bathroom, feeling Spike's creepy gaze on him until he shut the door. Spike stared at the door for a while, not knowing what to do, until he heard a blood curdleing scream from behind the closed door.
"It's gone!!" Xander burst from the bathroom, skirt down around his ankles. Spike watched in shock as he tripped, and tumbled to the floor. He jumped up and ran to Xander's side.
"There, there, pet." Spike cooed, helping Xander up. He pulled up Xander's skirt gently, and prushed away the tears flowing freely down Xander's cheeks. "Now then. What seems to be missing, pet?" Xander looked at Spike incredulously.
"What do you mean, 'What's missing,' you idiot??" Xander slapped Spike's shoulder, while Spike stared on in surprise. "Are you that dense?" Spike was taken aback by Xander's harsh words. Much to his embarrassment, Xander pulled down his skirt, crying, "My dick is gone!"
Spike stared at him, dumbfounded. He opened his mouth, and shut it, and repeated this a few times, looking like a great big blonde fish. Meanwhile, Xander cried, lamenting the loss of his manhood. At length, a though dawned on Spike, followed by realization, and he spoke.
"Xander?" Xander looked at Spike as if he had gone absolutely nutso.
"No, Idiot Jeb down at Bucky's Fondue Hut! Of course I'm Xander, you ass!" He flopped down onto the bed and began pinching himself. "I'm going to. Ow! Wake up. Ow! Any. Ow! Time. Ow! Now. Ow!"
Spike could do nothing but stare dumbly for a moment. It all made sense now. Xander locked eyes with him, and Spike burst out laughing, his crystaline eyes lighting up in mirth.
Xander glared at Spike in abject horror. He knew the blonde vampire was evil, but to laugh when Xander had lost Xander Junior? "You are beyond sick!" He leapt up, grabbing the stake he had dropped, and charging Spike. Spike stepped aside, wrapped his hands around Xander's wrists, and flung him back on the bed, stifling a laugh. Xander landed with a grunt.
"Xan, pet, please, calm down and come into the bathroom with me for a sec." Xander just glared at him, holding his wrists. Immediately, Spike felt bad. He had hurt Xander. But he pushed the thought out of his head. "Xander. Come with me. I'm not asking you." Still glaring, Xander rose from the bed, and lead the way into the bathroom, with Spike trailing behind him.
Spike slid behind Xander in the bathroom, guiding him in front of the mirror. Placing one hand on Xander's waist, he used the other to lift the downcast face up to the mirror. He smiled at Xander's audible gasp. "Now do you get it, Whelp?"
Xander took himself in. He was still wearing last night's outfit, only he had changed. Staring back at him was his non-existant twin sister. His eyes, softer now, with longer eyelashes, stared back at him. They were different. But they were *his* eyes. Full red lips, his nose, though now smaller, and his cheekbones, only softer, more feminine. A soft, rounded jawline, and all this framed by a mass of dark curls, reaching down to Xander's back. His shoulders much smaller than they were, and on his chest were breasts that sure as hell didn't belong to him. He decided not to think about that. His eyes travelled downwards, Xander saw a narrow waist and a flat stomach. Rounded hips, larger than usual, led to long, lean legs. He definitely was not going to think about his lack of -. //No. Not thinking about that. Definitely not thinking about *that*.// He turned on Spike, and found that his head ended just under Spike's chin. That meant that he was shorter now! Hell! He was shorter even than Buffy now! "God damn it, Spike! What the hell is going on?" Spike grinned, leaving his hand at Xander's waist, using the other to push back a few stray strands of Xander's hair, tucking it behind his ear.
"Dunno, pet. My guess?" He grinned as Xander looked at him expectantly. "You got turned into a chit." Xander gave an anguised cry, pushed Spike away, and stormed out of the bathroom. Spike's grin got all the wider. This was going to be fun.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Poor, poor Xander. What'll happen next? Well, you don't think Spike'll keep the rest of the Scoobs out of this, do you? More coming soon!