DARIA:Crash Course

DISCLAIMER:Daria,Quinn,and related characters are the intellectual property of Glenn Eichler,Susie Lewis Lynn,Viacom International,and MTV.All of the rest of this I created myself.This story was written strictly for the enjoyment of my readers;I'm not making a penny on it or trying to infringe on anyone's copyright with it.

Chapter 1

The Lane house,Thursday afternoon,4:10 PM

"Ah,how stirring."Daria Morgendorffer cast a sardonic eye at Kevin Thompson's goofy grin as it greeted her from the front page of the Lawndale Buzz."An editorial written by the one person on this planet who could flunk a Rorshach test."

"Hey,it could be worse."said Jane Lane,busily at work on her latest painting."Ms.Li could have made him editor-in-chief."

"Shhh!Keep it down!"Daria whispered in mock horror."She might hear you!"

Jane responded with a raised eyebrow and an amused smirk."With all the time she spends on the phone?I doubt it."

"Good point."Daria nodded;however,before they could get much further analyzing Kevin's deficiencies as a writer,the phone in Jane's room started to ring.After about two rings Jane picked it up and said,"Lawndale County Insane Asylum.Head inmate speaking."A short pause."Just a sec."With that,she passed the phone to Daria."It's your sister."

Picking up the phone,Daria said,"Hello?"

"Thank God you're still there.I am in major trouble,Daria."

"Meaning....?"Daria prompted,knowing that what Quinn described as major trouble could(and sometimes did)turn out to be anything but.

"I'm supposed to read one of those Chicken Soup books and write a report on it for Mr.O'Neill's class for Monday,so I took the bus down to the library to get a copy from there,only I couldn't because I didn't have my card with me,so I went home to look for it in my room,but I can't find it anywhere."

Daria sighed,thinking:Bad luck,thy name is Quinn Morgendorffer."So you want me to get it,right?"she said.

"Yeah,would you mind?"

"I guess not."Daria told Quinn."I just hope I can get home before Mom does....she's threatening to inflict a new casserole recipe on us at dinner tonight and I need time to hide the recipe card."

"I wouldn't worry too much about that,Daria."Quinn giggled."Her boss has got her working on one of those personal injury cases you hear about on the news,so she'll be in her office till,like,midnight or something.And anyway,she just says those things to impress Dad.We'll probably be having lasagna again."

"Mom's certainly consistent,I'll give her that."Daria agreed."OK,I'll see you when I get home.Later."

"Thanks,Daria.Bye."

With that,Daria hung up and turned back to Jane."If you don't hear from me again within twelve hours,burn all the documents and blow up the ammunition dump,then grab the last plane out."

"Got it."Jane said,saluting her best friend."Hey,as long as you're getting that book for Quinn,could you find out if anybody returned The Stand yet?I tried to order a copy from Paperbacks-B-Us but they're all out,and I really feel the need for a good scare at bedtime tonight."

"Yep,nothing like global apocalypse to put you in a relaxed frame of mind."Daria quipped as she put her book bag back on."See ya."

"I hope so."Jane replied as she went back to her painting.A short time later,she was starting to add another dab of blue to the background when she noticed that Daria had left her paper lying on Jane's bed."She might want this--though I have to admit I don't know why."Jane said to herself,picking up the paper and starting to run out to the driveway in hopes that she could catch Daria in time.

Out by the front steps of their house,Jane's older brother Trent was sorting through the day's mail when he noticed his sister dashing after Daria's car."Yo,Janey,what's the big rush?"

"Daria forgot her paper and I'm trying to catch her so I can give it back."Jane yelled over her shoulder.

"Chill,Janey,I'm passing that way later anyhow."Trent said,bringing Jane to a stop."The band's playing a private party at a house down the street from Daria's--you can ride shotgun with me and I'll drop you off there so you can give the paper back to her."

"'Kay."Jane replied,starting to head back inside.As she was about to open the door,however,a blue-gray sports sedan bolted down one of the side streets like a runaway train--and by the way it was swerving,it was clear its driver had been heavily drinking.

And he was heading straight for Daria's car.

"Oh my God."Jane gasped in alarm.She and Trent watched helplessly as the sedan's front fender forcefully struck Daria's car,causing it to spin around in the middle of the street.Debris scattered in all directions as the driver of the other car sped off without so much as a backward glance.