Chapter 9

Daria eyed the overly cutesy welcome-back present Brittany had put on her desk as warily as if it were a ticking bomb.In fact,as far as she was concerned a bomb would have been preferable;even Kevin,dunce though he was,had known better than to give her anything so unbelievably tacky.A bright pink stuffed bear with a happy face balloon tied around one paw,it looked like something Barney might have thrown together on a sugar high.Correction,Daria thought as she read the attached gift card dangling from the other paw.Barney wouldn't be caught dead in public with something this lame.

"What do you think?"Brittany asked her.

"It's....very colorful,Brittany."Daria said.In a hideous,Sesame Street-on-acid kind of way.

Brittany's face lit up in her trademark ultra-perky grin."Glad you like it.I thought you could use something to cheer you up after being cooped up in the hospital for so long."

"You're not going to turn my classroom into a toy store,are you,Daria?"Ms.DeFoe joked as she prepared to take attendance.

"I hadn't planned on it,no."Daria replied.And even if she had been,she reflected,she certainly wouldn't inflict this monstrosity on her customers.At least the other gifts had been somewhat tasteful--she had especially appreciated the framed copy of Maya Angelou's "I Rise" she got from Jodie.

Jane stared at the bear/balloon combo in utter disbelief."If they don't already do drug tests on the cheerleading squad,they should."she observed."Brittany must have been high as a kite when she bought that thing."

"Tell me about it."Quinn said,grimacing."I mean,could she possibly have picked a more gross shade of pink?"

"Hey,"Jodie cut in,"just be glad she didn't go with her original choice."

Jane looked at her and asked,"Which was...?"

"Aqua with bright orange polka dots."Jodie answered with a wince.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!"Jane and Quinn groaned simultaneously.

"You shouldn't be here."Kevin said bluntly when he saw Joey,Jeffy,and Jamie lingering in the doorway of the Lawndale Lions team locker room after PE."Coach Gibson put you on suspension,remember?"

Nervously twisting his pencil in his hands,Jeffy said,"Well,like,that's what we came to talk to you about.We want you to get the coach to lift the suspension and put us back on the team for Saturday's game."

"You can't be serious."Kevin rolled his eyes in disbelief."You're lucky you're not still in jail after what happened last Thursday..."

"But you've got to help us,man!"Jamie pleaded."You're,like,the only friend we've got left in the whole school!Nobody else'll even talk to us anymore!"

Joey let out a melancholy sigh."Yeah,man,everybody on the bus totally snubbed us this morning.After second period,when I tried to ask Quinn if she wanted a drink from the soda machine,she walked right past me like I wasn't even there."

"That's your problem,not mine."Kevin turned his back on them and started walking towards the weight room.After a few steps,he paused and turned back to face them again."You know,guys,I might not be a brain or anything,but even I'm smart enough to know that you shouldn't drive drunk."

With that,he entered the weight room and closed the door,leaving Joey,Jeffy,and Jamie to wonder how much worse things could get.Kevin had been their best friend since at least the third grade,and even he was giving them the cold shoulder.It was like they'd died and been condemned to their own personal hell.

"Now what do we do?"Joey asked his pals.Neither one of them could think of an answer.

"So,did you hear about that awesome sale on minidresses they're having at Cashman's?"Sandi asked Quinn over lunch in the school cafeteria later that afternoon.

"Yeah,Tiffany told me about it this morning."Quinn said."I'm going there tonight after Mom takes me to the Sports Hut.She wants me to help pick out some weights...."

"Your mom's into weightlifting?"

Quinn giggled."They're not for her,Sandi,they're for Daria.See,once the cast comes off Daria's arm,the doctor wants to put her on this special therapy program,and part of the program is having her do these strengthening exercises with five-poun--"She suddenly cut herself off in mid-sentence."Oh no.Quick,Sandi,duck!"

"What's the matter?"Sandi asked,flattening herself against the table.

"It's Joey,Jeffy,and Jamie!"Quinn replied in an urgent whisper."They're sitting over by the fire exit!I've been trying to avoid them all day,but they won't leave me alone!"

"Maybe,if you just,like,ignore them,they'll go away."Sandi said hopefully.