I didn't go home that night though. I walked around the city, all alone in my misery. Was she crying right now? Was she talking to Lilly about all this? What would Lilly say to me? I didn't care anymore. If I didn't care it would be easier. I had to just be a regular guy for a while.
But one thought plagued me.
It had been hard getting her in the first place. Back when she was a shy awkward newly named princess. How was I going to deal with seeing her with other guys? Having some other guy taking her to her junior prom? Seeing the pictures in the papers. Seeing her at my parents apartment before the aforementioned prom.
Would she be making out with some other guy? Would I still care?
 That second question was stupid. I did still care. I already missed her and it hadn't been even three hours since I broke up with her. I found myself outside of her building that night. Her bedroom light was on, so I climbed up her fire escape, with no real plan in my head.
I didn't go in her window though. I sat there. Listened to her talking on the Lilly and her mom. Miss Thermopolis was holding her. She wasn't crying though. "He needs to grow up," her mom said.
"He's a stupid guy, you don't need him," Lilly piped up. "I know he's my brother and I should be taking his side in this...but you are like my sister, Mia. Remember that, okay?"
"I-I don't know what I am going to do," I heard her say softly.
"I do," her mom said. "You are going to start focusing on yourself, not some silly boy. Lilly, you are NOT to give her any reports about Michael, got that? I don't want the name even thought of in this house."
"No problem. I never liked talking about him anyways."
Her mom left.
"Mia, just think about it. We will get to hang out so much more often now. We are going to be seniors in a few months. We have our junior prom-"
"Oh God, what am I going to do about that?" she said in a voice that I had always loved. It was when she was worried about something, but she also knew that she could overcome it.

I couldn't listen anymore. Lilly started throwing out names of guys that liked Mia, or that would at least go to prom with her. I didn't want to hear any names because then I'd have a picture in my mind of her dancing with the guy.

I decided to not think about her anymore. I avoided all celebrity magazines. Filled my life with school work and worked on my resume. Any other time was filled in with my new band. I did everything to avoid her name.
I never went home on weekends. Not even over spring break. I went to Mexico with some buddies from school and basically lost a week of my life to alcohol.

I wish I could say that the alcohol was because I was enjoying myself, like every other person was, but it wasn't. I kept thinking about her. Every time I saw a leggy blonde I thought it was her. I tried talking to other girls, but I always ended up bringing her into the conversation.Then the girls felt bad for me...one offered to make me feel much better in her hotel room but I declined. I couldn't do that to Mia. Even if we were broken up I was not going to use our story to get action from a strange girl from Louisiana.

I managed not to mention her to the girls that were staying next door to us...for about five minutes.
It was the first night of the trip and we were in our hotel room. A group of girls from the room next door were over, watching television and drinking. We guys were playing cards, Asshole to be exact. "I wish I could have had any choice for my prom dress," one of the girls said with a deep sigh. I looked over at what they were watching. E! Entertainment television. A brief story about Princess Amelia's quest for the perfect dress.
"I know her," I said. "Or I used to." That's an understatement. I had held that hand that she was waving. I had kissed her hundreds if not thousands of times. "That guy in the back ground of that picture? Yeah, that would be me."
They all looked at me. Then the blurry image of me standing behind Mia at a charity ball.

"How do you know a princess? Are you a prince?"
I shook my head. My friends grunted. They had thought I had gotten over her.
"No, she's my girl- my ex girlfriend."
"Are you stupid?" one of them said to me.
I didn't answer. They were simply asking if I was stupid enough to break up with a princess.

They didn't know the real Mia. The Mia who wears Amidala underwear for luck. The Mia who furrows her brow when she confused. THe Mia who almost failed algebra even with my help, but aced geometry while I was in college. They didn't know the Mia that dropped an eggplant from a New York highrise. The Mia who wore combat boots. The Mia who saved my senior prom and convinced me that I should go. The Mia who wears cat pajamas and fluffy slippers. The Mia whose hair frizzed out in the rain. The Mia who-

"Yes," I mumbled before I took a shot.

When I came back from break I fully accepted that I made the worst mistake of my life. And I had to fix this mistake. I was sure that no one was going to let me near her, ever. But I still started thinking of how to get her back.

I had broken her heart, or so I thought. I looked at the gossip column for the first time in months and saw a picture of her with a young actor at a Yankee's pre-season game in Florida. She'd always had a crush on the guy, Elias Downey. I always had a secret hatred for the man because he was her fantasy guy and everything I was not. He was successful. Rich. Powerful. Her grandmother's dream guy for her.
I couldn't compete with this tool. He was the kind of guy that would wear sunglasses indoors, a total loser. At least I had once thought he was a loser, but it turns out I am instead. He had the girl, and all I had was a faltering GPA.
I stopped hanging out with the spring break crew after we got back. I focused on school (unsuccessfully), and my band. This group of guys were different from the ones I was in a band with in high school. They played harder music. I wrote harder lyrics. But at the same time we accepted that if we wanted gigs right away we'd have to go with what was popular at the time. I know, not being true to ourselves but we are slaves to money. Damn capitalism.
I went home for the first time in April. I hadn't been in there since Mia and I had broken up. Apparently she thought it was safe to return as well because the minute I walked in I could smell her vanilla scent. She had always worn it because I had mentioned once when I was like, sixteen, that I loved the smell of vanilla. She wore it ever since that day.
I quietly shut the front door. I didn't want them to know I was around. I walked past Lilly's room unnoticed. I stopped though once I was past her door.
"So he's REALLY coming to our prom?" Lilly said excitedly to Mia. "I cannot believe a movie star is going to our stupid, meaningless prom. I mean, he could be at some Hollywood premier and he's coming to this instead! Mia, I cannot believe your luck!"
I looked through the crack in the door. Mia was sitting at Lilly's vanity, staring into the mirror. She wasn't smiling as I had expected her to be. She looked almost...I don't know, sad maybe. "Yeah, I'm really lucky."
I walked into my room quietly. I grabbed my music and left, just as quiet as before. I could have sworn I heard Mia ask if Lilly had heard a door shut. I ran as quickly as I could away from there.
I started to plan.
Operation: Dump the Stupid Jerky Celebrity You are with For Your Ex-Boyfriend.
 I put phase one in that night.
I returned to my parent's apartment and heated up some Easy Mac. It was pretty late at night and I knew that Lilly would be passed out. Mia stayed up late though, writing. I knew that. And I also knew she got hungry around two in the morning. I made two bowls and left one out for her. She came into the kitchen nervously.
"Oh, didn't know..." she stammered, backing away.
"I made you a bowl," I replied. Great, the first words I utter to her after four months, 'I made you a bowl'
She sat down, avoiding my gaze. "How'd you know I'd be here?"
"It's Saturday. I read that Wonderboy is shooting in...what, Canada? So where else would you be?" I hoped I didn't sound like an asshole.
I handed her a fork.
"Thanks," she said softly, still not looking at me.
"So how's things been?" I asked nervously. What if she said great, as I was expecting her to?
She didn't answer. She just sighed, "What do you think?"
I just stared at her.
"So," she said, a few minutes later, "How's school? The friends?" She said friends like it was poison. She had never liked my friends. I guess now she had even more of a reason to hate those guys. It was kind of obvious that I had ended things because of them.
"You mean Parker, Ben and Jimmy?"
"Those would be your friends..."
"No they aren't. I talk to them every once in awhile, but not much. I don't hang out with them much. Mostly with some new guys I met."
Silence.
"Any new girls?" she asked, worried about the answer.
We finally caught one another's eyes. "No. No one else."
A look of guilt crossed her face. "Like I said, I never wanted anyone else," I said, taking her hand.
She pulled away. "Well, that's too bad. I-I'm gonna go to bed. Thanks for the food."
I could see this would take a lot of work.

And so the notes began. It took a hell of a lot of begging but I got Lilly to plant them in Mia's locker. I also had to promise to do her laundry over the summer (but I'm not touching her delicates, and she understood).
The first one was a card of a little boy and girl holding hands. It was all that Hallmark had for me. I made my friend George write it out for me. He was high a lot of the time so he didn't really notice what I was saying. But he had damn nice handwriting. Even when high as a kite.
I stayed home, pretending to be sick that weekend so I could see a reaction from her, which I knew I was bound to. I sat in the living room eating my soup and listened to her and Lilly in the kitchen.
"Isn't it weird?" she asked after she showed Lilly the card.
While she re-read the words, Lilly shot me a sideward glance. I guess she thought my words were impressive. "The guy must really like you. Or maybe even love you."
"Or is stalking me," Mia said, deflated. "Elias warned me about this kind of thing. He said that girls are so obsessed with him that they'd do anything to get me to dump him. I guess this is just a trick."
So my next card explained that there was no trick involved. This time I left a yellow rose in the locker.
She started coming over more and more often. Or maybe I just thought it was more often because I was coming over more often. She'd be able to guess it was me.

I told my parents I wanted to be home so I could study. That the dorms were a little too loud for me to do so. They knew I hardly ever studied, never really needed to really. They knew I was there for the blond girl that came over every night after princess lessons.

"She just started coming over again," Mom said as we washed some dishes.

"Oh?"

"We really missed her after...well, you know. I'm sure you two are on the road to friendship now, right?"

I shook my head, "I dunno. We haven't really talked."

She motioned toward the door and then left. I turned and saw Mia walk in. I walked to the fridge and grabbing some mustard.
"I hear you are getting love notes?" I asked, tossing a bottle of mustard at her. She and I liked to put mustard on our potato chips, or rather dip it in the mustard.
She smiled slightly, "How'd you know?"
"Lilly," I replied, covering up my own smile with my chip.
"Oh, of course," she said, looking a bit sad. "Well, I haven't told Elias about them."
"I'm sure Mr. Wonderful has things he doesn't tell you. Does he tell you about every admirer he has? I don't think so."
She nodded. "That's true. So I shouldn't feel guilty?"
"No way honey- I mean, no."
Silence.
"So, how serious are you guys?"
She shrugged, "I don't know. He really seems to like me..." she trailed off.

For some reason I felt really good then. I mean, we had broken up four months ago, but she felt comfortable talking to me. I had broken her heart and she was still talking to me.
"But?" I cut in.
"But, I-"
"Mia, you ready to go shopping?" Lilly asked, swinging her purse as she entered the kitchen.
Mia glanced at me, "We're going to get Lilly a prom dress," she said, almost apologetically.
"What about you?" I asked curiously.
"Grandmere helped me pick one out already."
Oh. Perfect. Not only does she help pick out prom dresses, she also picks out Mia's dates.

"We got a gig, kind of last minute. Can you be here on Friday night?" Paul asked, handing me a card.
"What is it?"
"I don't know. Marty set it up."
Marty Ring was our drummer. "Oh, okay no problem." Yeah, like I'd have anything to do on a Friday night.
"Dress up though. That's what I was told."
"Okay."

That Friday night I went back home to get my suit from my closet. I had forgotten it was the girls' prom night. All of Lilly's friends were over, doing one another's make up and what not. I wasn't interested in how they looked though, only Mia. I didn't hear her in the room but I peeked my head in anyways, just to double check.
"Hey Ladies," I greeted.
They all stared at me. "Hi Michael," they greeted. Giggles follow.
"You all look..." I started, then Mia. She tapped me on the shoulder so she could get by. I turned and looked at her. I had to back up so I could take her all in.
Her dress was aqua, lots of beads on it. She had her hair half up and half down, make up professionally done. Her nails had just been done. I could still smell the stuff that kept her acrylics on her real nails. I loved when she got those tips on, they felt nice running through my hair.
"Michael, let Mia in my room!" Lilly snapped.
I got out of her way and mumbled some compliment. I tried to get out of there as quickly as possible, but my parents cut me off before I could get out. They asked me about my plans for the evening and why I needed my suit. They thought I had a hot date and thought it was healthy for me to be moving on finally.
As I opened the front door I saw Mia poke her head out of Lilly's room, I looked back at her and smiled. She smiled back. I should be the one taking her to this damn prom, not that massive tool.