Author's Notes: hey guys! Well, here it is, and I hope you all like it. School's almost over, ain't it great? Problem is, there's still finals to take!! . I'M GONNA FAIL!! But ish okie, it's all good. Thanx for reading this far, and I hope to get some feedback!

Disclaimer: Not much belongs to me...'cept this story line, so don't steal it.

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chap. 10 - remembered

Kenshin wasn't the only one suffering, Misao knew that for sure. Day by day, gradually, she saw a difference in Aoshi-sama. Moments from his life were coming back as well. Everybody was connected to Kenshin, and him losing his memory only meant that everybody else would have to too, in order for him to remain forgetting about his past. She thought Himura was being slightly selfish on the matter, but when she looked at the situation from his point of view, and pieced together the little information she knew, she understood what Himura wanted to get away from.
Aoshi-sama went to the temple to meditate more often. It seemed that he desperately needed to sort out his thoughts due to the recent events that were occurring. Kenshin most definately took the hardest blows, but Aoshi-san and Sano took some with them as well.
It seemed that Sano and Aoshi-sama were once Kenshin's opponents, but in the end, banded together to bring down Shishio. Before now, no one was entirely sure how Shishio was defeated, not even Aoshi-san knew for sure...but now...they knew that Kenshin played a major role, right along with Aoshi and Sanosuke.
Aoshi didn't know how he should take this. He wasn't sure if he knew Kenshin as the person he thought he was. From the few moments he was able to recapture, he knew that twice Aoshi had attempted to bring down the Battousai...to prove the Oniwa Banshu as the strongest...as the greatest. But both times, he had failed. Both times, he couldn't prove anything... He couldn't show to Hannya, Shikijou, Hyottoko, and Beshimi that the Oniwa Banshu was the strongest... So what good were their deaths?
The incense from the temple eased his mind, but his thoughts kept on lingering upon the old memories that dwelled in his head. He knew there was more he still needed to remember; still more that he needed to put together before thinking rashly.
But one day, he would prove to his faithful friends that the Oniwaban was indeed the best. He would prove it...no matter what the consequences.

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Kenshin fumbled mindlessly with his hair, wondering what to do with this new information at hand. He needed to get to Kyoto...and as fast as he could. He was planning on traveling by foot alone, thinking that it was for the best, thinking that he did not want to get anybody else into this mess...especially not Kaoru. After a few moments of going back and forth between the idea when to leave, he concluded that he should leave immediately, and slid his hair into a piece of soft twine.
He stood up, brushing off the dirt on his clothes, and opened the fusuma only to find Kaoru standing in front of him, a tray of food in her hands. His face was expressionless, and hers, an attempted reassurement.
They stood face to face in silence for awhile, not knowing what to say or do, but it was Kaoru who spoke first.
"You haven't eaten in two days Kenshin...please eat..." Kaoru's voice was hoarse, and her eyes were tainted pink, a sign of frequent tears that slid down her porcelein skin.
Kenshin didn't respond, his face lowered, not knowing what he should say at a time like this.
"Please..."
Kenshin still did not speak, but instead lifted his head, letting out a small, tired sigh, before turning his back.
"Kenshin...?" Kaoru sounded pleading, on the brink of new tears.
Instead of retreating the room like Kaoru had pressumed, Kenshin kneeled onto the ground and allowed Kaoru to place the tray in front of him. He ate slowly, and had to forcefully swallow every bite...because Kaoru did not have to suffer on his behalf.
"Kenshin?"
His food caught in a lump in his throat, but he swallowed it and decided that Kaoru didn't need the additional strain of worrying about him; and in a barely audible voice, he replied, "Hai?"
"Kenshin...you were planning on leaving...you were going to go after Wolf yourself...weren't you? I can see it in your eyes..." Kaoru whispered. Her hands were delicately folded in her lap, and it took all of what was left of her restraint to prevent the tears from coming.
Kenshin considered not responding, not telling her what he had found out, but those thoughts were immediately pushed into the back of his mind as his voice quivered in his response, "Yes... I know where Wolf is being held... I was going to slip out and go after him myself." Kenshin paused for a moment to see Kaoru's reaction, and was not surprised to see her crying, with a soft stream of salty tears trickling down her cheek.
Kenshin continued warily, "I did not want to see you in danger Miss Kaoru, nor do I not want to see Aoshi-san or Sano get into anymore trouble than they already are in. All for my selfish desires..."
"Kenshin..." Kaoru said between sobs, "We care for you, don't you know that? Wolf too. We all loved Wolf as much as you did. It would only make sense that we were to go with you... Let us go with you Kenshin... Let us all...go with you."
With that Kaoru collapsed, the pain almost too much to bear, and Kenshin swept up to catch her in his arms. Tears lined his own eyes, as he brushed away the hair in Kaoru's face, letting her lie down in his lap. Kaoru smiled and touched her hand to his cheek, "Please Kenshin...?"
Kenshin exhaled, and knew that he owed it to her, he owed it to everybody... "Alright."
"Thanks Kenshin... This will be something to tell the baby, huh?" Kaoru asked tiredly, putting her hands to her belly.
A tear dropped from Kenshin's eyes, splattering onto Kaoru's cheek, and he wiped it away with his index finger.
"Oh, Kenshin?" Kaoru said, on the verge of sleep.
Kenshin looked down at her, anticipating an elaboration.
"I like how you put your hair up...you know, it really suits you Kenshin..." Kaoru yawned and closed her eyes.
Kenshin's eyes grew wide, and a hand automatically went up to the back of his head. His long, red hair was up in a high ponytail, exactly how it was in the Battousai days.

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Sanosuke huffed, and slumped onto the dojo's wooden platform outside, leaning against a wooden support.
Sano wondered how much longer they would have to wait until they would go after Wolf. He wasn't sure how long the kid could hold off, and under what circumstances he was in. Better safe than sorry, really...
But then again, Kenshin was going through a lot, and he really should give him some time off. Sano glanced down at his bandaged fists, and smirked, knowing that these very fists had gone against Shishio. Yea...he had been there. Sano himself had challenged Shishio after Kenshin, Saitoh, and Aoshi were taken down; he had charged right at that heartless bastard with fists held high. And had gotten knocked out, nearly dying from the incident.
Sanosuke had no reason to regret the old memories that were coming back to him. Why should he? Sano was at peace with his past, and had found he could face what was to come without looking back. But maybe that was because he didn't have much to mourn...and there wasn't much that was coming back that Sano didn't know about. Kenshin on the other hand...
As if on cue, Kenshin appeared, sliding open the paper door, an unreadable expression plastered onto his face. Sano gazed at his friend in silence, and noted that his hair was up in a high ponytail instead of tied at the nape of his neck as he usually did. Sano gaped, having never seen Kenshin with his hair up before, surprised to see that it gave a fierce edge to Kenshin's appearance.
"Hey Kenshin!"
"Yes?" Kenshin seemed wary and worn out as he replied.
"Why do you have your hair up like that?"
"Like what?" Kenshin gave Sano a confused look, mixed in with a bit of impatience.
"Like that!" Sano emphasized his point with a wild gesture.
Kenshin was silent, not even knowing why he had absently put his hair up like he had. He did not reply to Sano's question as he took it down, retying it as he usually did. He didn't want to tell Kaoru or Sano that he had worn it up in that style when he was the Battousai, and so, he avoided the question by simply saying, "Wolf is in Kyoto. Kaoru insists that we all go after him, including Aoshi, Misao, and Yahiko."
Sano knew that Kenshin was intentionally changing the subject, and so he decided not to push the matter as he said instead, "Yahiko? That little squirt?"
"Aa, would you be so kind as to -"
"No need to, Himura." Kenshin was interrupted as Aoshi appeared just a couple feet away, calmly walking up to them, "I have already found a usuable steamship which will hold us all for the journey to Kyoto."
Kenshin knew that Aoshi had his own ways of finding things out, and so he only nodded in agreement, "When will it leave?"
Aoshi glanced at Kenshin briefly before replying, "Tomorrow morning."

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Hiroji smirked as he saw Aoshi tell the Battousai when they would be leaving. He honestly did not think they would figure it out so quickly. The riddles should be more challenging next time, he noted in his mind for later reference. From his position on a branch in a nearby tree, Hiroji could find out things without being spotted or caught. Quite obvious, but sometimes the best hiding place was right under their noses.
And better yet, the whole dojo was going with the Battousai. This certainly turned the tide in their favor. Although there were more opponents to deal with, there were more threats that could be made using the Battousai's allies and friends. Especially the woman...
Hiroji smiled maliciously behind his mask and knew this would be a very interesting game...

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It seemed the rain did want to lift up. There was a heavy downpour in the early morning when everybody was to leave for Kyoto. It was humid, and the air was so thick that it was sticky, making the clothes on everybody's back cling to their skin, despite the rain.
Sano heaved a bag onto his shoulder, yelling for Yahiko to hurry up as the group departed slowly from the dojo. Kenshin had requested a carriage to transport Kaoru, Megumi, and Misao to the Tokyo docks, saying that it wasn't right for the women to walk all the way. Sano grunted as he lingered to wait for the painfully slowass kid catch up.
The trip to the docks were uneventful, except for the fact that they were soaking wet and muddy by the time they had reached the steamship. Misao and Megumi had loaded some of their bags onto the ship already, and were waiting on board by the time the men showed up.
"How long is the trip gonna be?" Yahiko asked as they walked up the platform onto the gray-painted boat.
"Around three days, if the weather is in our favor," Aoshi replied, and went to claim a cabin for himself.
Yahiko looked over the boat's railings into the vast, grey sea, noting the boat's name. Nozomi, hope.
They were all clinging onto hope, he thought as the steamship pulled out of the port. The little hope that there was, they were all hanging onto it.

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The best thing about boats was that you didn't have to do a damn thing; the worst part was that it was as boring as hell, Sano concluded into the first two hours of the journey. He countlessly found himself wandering the ship day in day out, not knowing what the hell he was supposed to do on this thing... Wandering from cabin to cabin and throwing the die around got old, and so, he soon found himself standing on the upper deck of the ship, staring at the waves that rippled in the sea; pointlessly staring at the raindrops pound on its surface. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear someone walk right up to him, and lean her elbows just inches away from his.
"Bored?"
Sano snapped out of his mind bubble, and found Megumi standing right next to him with an umbrella opened, "Eh?"
"You must be bored, this is the fifth time I've caught you on this deck," she replied with a smirk on her lips.
Sano found himself staring stupidly, and so he swiveled his head in the opposite direction, cheeks tinted with a faint blush, "Yes, I'm bored as hell, Fox. What does it matter to you?"
Astonished to hear that there was no sassy response, Sano slowly turned his head in Megumi's direction, finding a hurt look in her eyes, "I- "
"No, don't even say you're sorry Sano, because you don't mean it," Megumi whispered quietly, "The only reason I came is because Ken-san could easily acquire new injuries, and the baby could decide to come early, but other than that..."
Megumi trailed off, and Sano looked at her in a perplexed manner, wondering what was going through her mind, "Listen Fox, you're more important than that, and you know it too. I think that anyone of us would easily give up our lives for you, so don't you even go damn saying that no one cares, because....because I know I do..."
Megumi's ears could not believe what she was hearing, and her breath caught she listened to him continue.
"I care a lot Fox... You've probably never known that. In fact I've cared enough that it's probably as close as I'll ever come to actual love... But...but you don't deserve me, because I'm just a street fighter and a free-loader..." Sano's voice faded away, bracing himself for rejection, bracing himself for the hard slap across his face that would bring him back to reality.
Instead, he was surprised to feel a gentle, elogant hand on his cheek, and even more surprised to see himself face to face with Megumi, her face far from hostility.
"It's about time," Megumi whispered, and leaned upwards, capturing his lips in hers.
It took the fighter a moment to realize that Megumi felt the same way, but soon found his arms around her, holding her close to him, and promising to himself that he would always protect her.
All the while, Megumi continued to hold the umbrella in her arms, shielding them both from the thudding rain that surrounded them.

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Kenshin sat against the iron plated walls of his cabin, which he shared with Aoshi. Kaoru and Megumi shared one right next to theirs, and Yahiko and Sano roomed together, which probably wasn't too healthy. Misao had a room to herself, but she didn't complain.
Kenshin stared at his Sakabato, which he held in his right hand. He didn't know what to think anymore, and he was having so many flashbacks and re-occuring memories that it became hard to distinguish between reality and the dream world.
His vertical scar had bled continuously in the past day or two, and he did the best he could to hide it from the others. He didn't know why, but he was sure that the scar he had on his cheek was a symbol of something more important than just a battle scar. Much more important...
As he sat there, his back becoming sore from being against the cold pane of the walls, his vertical scar began to bleed again. That was no surprise. But as he held up a ripped-off piece of his gi to his cheek, he realized that his horizontal scar was bleeding as well. Both bled to form a dripping cross that seemed freshly painted onto his face.
Tomoe...
----- Snow fell around him, an endless amount of white that fell from the gray, cloudy skies. Blood tinted the freshly fallen snow, its color now pink after soaking in the ice.
Kenshin felt wounds all over him, on his back, shoulder, and chest, each flaring with pain. But the pain from his wounds could never compare with the pain he was feeling on the inside. Tomoe had betrayed him. His wife had betrayed him.
Blood leaked from his eyes and ears, as if he were crying tears of blood. He was exhausted, fight after fight, explosion after explosion on the mountain had worn him out, and he was just about ready to give up. But the samurai in him, the assassin in him, told him to do this final battle, to fight until the very end. A fight until the death.
His opponent stood there, with a smirk on his lips and a small knife in his hands. Tomoe's knife.
And yet, the human in him did not want to fight. Wanted to collapse right there and then to die. Hell, he deserved to die. His sword strokes were sloppy and half-hearted, and in return he received blows to the face and punches to his abdomen.
Kenshin doubled over in pain, coughing up blood, and breathing heavily from the loss of energy and blood. He looked at his right hand and tightened the grip on the sky-blue silk scarf that belonged to Tomoe, now soaked in his blood. Tomoe...
He panted, his breath coming out in puffy mists in front of his face, deciding that it was time for one final charge. He was ready for death if it were to come for him.
As he ran, he closed his eyes, as if charging right into the very pit of Hell. Thought after thought flooded into his mind,
'I killed many men in order to safeguard the well being of the common man... But my idealism caused you to lose your love. I stole an important life from you... I did not know I had even done it.' The face of Tomoe's fiance flashed into his mind, an old memory not forgotten, 'I fell in love with you. I made promises, but I am not fit to protect you... Even though I....I...'
In his mind's eye, time had stopped, and he was sitting in a peaceful field of red rose petals, which floated from above. Blood still ran down his face and body, but that did not matter as he felt Tomoe's hands on his eyes, covering them. Her soothing voice filled his head, replaying the relaxing life that he had shortly lived with her. The life that he would have loved to live, if he had begun it this way.
He placed his hands on hers, and turned slowly around expecting to find her....but saw only darkness. Puzzled, he turned back around, and his breath caught to see the same graveyard that he had dug as a small child. The same red sun in the sky and the same graves surrounded him. Only...a new grave was added.
Dead center, there was a new cross, its stakes crooked, and Kenshin gaped at the blue-sky scarf that was tied around it. Tomoe's...
The red sky faded away as he was jerked back into reality. He felt his sword tear through flesh as his vicious lowercut sliced. His eyes had remained closed the whole time, and he felt Tomoe's scarf fly away in the wind, brushing against his face.
He gradually opened his eyes to find the back of a woman...the back of Tomoe. He felt blood spray past him, and watched in horror as Tomoe fell to the ground, clutching her knife in her hands. He heard his opponent fall to the ground with a thud, but Kenshin did not pay any attention to him, he did not matter anymore...
"TOMOE!!" Kenshin heard himself yell. His wife fell to the snow- crusted ground, blood heavily staining through her kimono. Her breathing came in small, irregular gasps as she desperately struggled to breathe. But she knew it was over...
Tears came to Kenshin's eyes, never before knowing how much pain he could really feel all at once.
"Tomoe...Tomoe..." he whispered, not wanting to believe that it was by his sword that she would die.
Tomoe struggled to move, wincing in pain as she lifted her left hand, knife still in hand, and made a horizontal cut on his left cheek. Making her mark right next to her former fiance's, and leaving her presence engraved in Kenshin's memory.
Kenshin allowed her to do so, and as she did, blood-tinted tears fell from his eyes, landing softly on her cheeks.
"I'm so sorry...my darling..." she whispered, tears lining her eyelashes. She breathed in for one last time, and her hand fell limp onto the cold earth.
Kenshin gasped, and began to sob as he held his lover in his arms, holding her close. His body shuddered ferociously as he cried with Tomoe in his embrace, devastation hitting him harder than anything he could have even imagined. He didn't know how long he sat there like this, all the time wishing that if he could sit in this mountain forever, that maybe Tomoe would come back. But she never could....and never would. -----
It was as if he had forgotten to breathe. All life had been knocked out of him for those moments when memory came back to him. Tomoe... He loved her...he loved her more than anything in the world. And she was...gone...
Kenshin was on all fours on the floor of his cabin, sweat, blood, and tears running down his face. He loved her... No, not past tense...present tense...he still loved her...
He coughed up blood, and sloppily wiped it away as he sat back down, leaning his back against the wall again. Somehow he felt different. Remembering Tomoe opened a new door to the part of him he never knew he was. And now, he didn't know who he should be...
His head pounded loudly in his ears like a devastating earthquake. Breathing heavily, he found a wash rag nearby and washed away his scar's blood and wiped his face clean. Both scars stubbornly continued to bleed, and he closed his eyes, wanting to sort out his thoughts and be alone for a couple of moments.
However, the door of his cabin slammed, and his eyes flung open as he saw Misao standing in front of him, panting wildly, "Himura...Kaoru...she's gone...! Gensou...he kidnapped her!!"
Kenshin stared at Misao blankly for a few painstaking seconds before replying in a confused voice, "Kaoru...? Who's Kaoru?"

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