Chapter 7 Far Away, Alone
The endless days held no light of hope for Mokuba. Every night, he went to bed wishing he were someone else or even that he no longer lived. All he had lived for before was seeing a piece of mail with his name on it. Now, all the letters he had reread so many times were gone. Destroyed.
School was a bother. The homework was worthless, and he stopped trying. Though the Janukas wanted him to see a counselor, the arguing against it was the only thing that made Mokuba animated. So far, he had not had to go, but the boy could sense his foster parents were going to force him soon.
Eating held no anticipation. His taste buds had turned into tiny stones that could not distinguish between bitter poison and sweet nectar. He ate when his foster parents made him and only then. Fuguta could not even make him do anything anymore.
The goon feared Mokuba would try the same thing his brother had. So he kept a closer eye on him than ever before. What Roland had called and told him—that YO was preparing for an appeal—gave him the only brightness in his otherwise gloomy world.
On the phone that night with Roland, Fuguta asked what happened to all the other goons. He had read about the change in owners in the front page of the paper, and the welfare of the others concerned him, mostly because of the new owner's name: Hobson.
"We are all still together, sir," Roland answered. "Jaques is trying to make a career as a chef to support us, but the people making the most money, somehow, are the O'Riley brothers. They joined Riverdance."
Fuguta's mind was instantly filled with the fragrance of warm food cooking and then the sight of the brothers leaping about as they danced to Mokuba's music.
"Should I tell Mokuba what happened?"
Roland took awhile to answer, and then Sung's voice came over the phone, his Chinese accent what gave him away.
"Describe how Master Mokuba is acting." As Sung was the psychiatrist, Fuguta was only too happy to oblige.
It did not take long for the experienced psychiatrist to come up with a conclusion, which was the one Fuguta guessed and feared.
"He is depressed. I think he should talk to someone about what is bothering him."
Not even Fuguta could guess the deeper meaning of Mokuba's dejection. He guessed it was simply because they had lost the trial, but as to the letter, Mokuba had never let him see it before it was gone.
"He doesn't want to talk to anyone, Sung. What should I do?" he replied helplessly. "It'd be better if Roland were here; everyone knows we call him Mom for a reason."
"But he is not allowed there. You are the only one they accepted. So you must talk to the Janukas or Mokuba and try to do what is best. It is not good for such a little body to be holding in such a large problem. He must release it to be even close to finding inner peace and balance."
"I'll do my best." It was just Fuguta did not know if his best would even help Mokuba.
-
In a dark corner where no one ever walked, he hid. There was no light anywhere. Just utter pitch tar encompassing the mind. A cold wind blew occasionally, raising goose bumps on his arms. A small piece of his mind was frantically searching for something, for someone, but he was alone. Everything he had lived for was gone. He had failed. Mokuba would never return. A promise had been broken.
I deserve to be dead. Why did they fight to keep me here? It would be best if I were gone; that way, Mokuba would truly move on in his life and find someone else to cling to who wouldn't lie. Big brothers aren't suppose to fail. And Gozaburo taught me the penalty for failing…
The sight of his step-father's enraged face, practically insane, plunged into his mind. Gozaburo had just lost Kaiba Corporation to Seto and Mokuba and the rest of the board of directors. In just a few moments after the realization, he was doing something unbelievable. Still in his fey mood, Gozaburo took a running leap at the top window of Kaiba Corporation.
A shattering of glass filled the air as the pieces sparkled and glistened, making them look like crystals or drops of dew. But they did not just moisten Gozaburo's skin. The bits were sharp and plunged deep, though there seemed to be some kind of joy expressed on the mad man's face for how theydug into his skin.
All of this happened in mere split-seconds. Then, the heavy form toppled from the frame and vanished into the air. Kaiba had not moved. He had done nothing. But now he knew what it felt like to be the one falling.
A glimmer of light was before him, but he shoved it away. There was no light for a failure. He remained hiding where he was, wishing for the blackness to take all, especially his memories. Mokuba's concerned face constantly plagued him like a pop-up on the internet. His little brother surely was not concerned now. Kaiba had done his best to make Mokuba angry at him, and it was all so his younger brother could move on.
If Kaiba were still corresponding with him, his little brother would have grown more depressed, anxious for every bit of sentence he wrote the boy. Taking that path would force his brother never to grow on. Mokuba would only be trapped where he was.
Kaiba knew about that as well, but now he blocked his mind from everything, spiraling farther away from any voices and sounds, staying in the darkness, which hid everything he was ashamed of.
-
At school on Monday, everyone got together to come clean about everything. Duke and Bakura, who had heard of nothing about Kaiba being in the hospital, were completely shocked. But they also agreed that something needed to be done. In fact, the only one keeping his opinion to himself was Yami. Yugi did not notice.
"All right. I talked ta my uncle. He wasn't happy wid what I told him—how I hadn't kept it a secret, but he agreed dat someding needed ta be done. He doesn't agree wid de way dat I do dings, but he didn't say I couldn't."
Bakura turned even whiter. "Oh, dear. What are you implying?"
Tristan grabbed Joey's head and rubbed his hand on his hair. "What Joey-man's trying to say is that he does illegal things. So don't feel inclined to help if you don't want to. There's no need to sully another person's record."
"Tristan!" Joey freed himself and protested, "I'm not plannin' anyding illegal! No one said it's a crime to take Mokuba from the Janukas and bring him back home!"
Téa, Tristan, and Bakura shook their heads, while Yugi looked like he was debating whether to laugh or to be embarrassed. Duke, however, scoffed. "Then what did you think it was? A babysitter's regular duty? Take the kid home with you?"
Joey groaned, holding his head in his hands, moaning that no one ever understood him.
"We understand you, Joey," Téa said sweetly, "we just enjoy giving you a hard time."
"Dat's what siblings are for, and I have one of dose already!"
Both Tristan and Duke sat up a little straighter. "Serenity coming over anytime soon?" Tristan asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
At the same time, Duke said, "Your sister's too sweet to do that to you!"
Joey gave them the evil eye. "Stay away from my sista in all dings: physically, mentally, and in conversations!" He looked prepared to teach this to them with his fists, as they never seemed to get his rules through their thick skulls.
"Joey, calm down! We don't need any reason to get yelled at, and a certain teacher is looking this way!" Yugi ducked his head down to take a bite of his turkey sandwich, trying not to cause any added attention. That teacher was one of the worst ones, not that any were really good, but this one looked for any excuse to give out detentions.
The gang lowered their voices and leaned in as well, their trying-not-to-look-conspicuous doing the opposite. Across the room, the teacher narrowed his eyes, meandering through the tables to come closer to hear what was so secretive.
Joey explained his plan, which was simply to steal Mokuba and bring him to the hospital. "The kid oughtta know how his brodda is doin', don't you dink? And he prob'ly wants ta see him! We can hide him away until de end of de appeal, because I know my uncle's gonna win dis one! Dose guys used illegal evidence!"
"Wow. I never thought you'd be on the side of Kaiba," Téa commented dryly.
Joey tried to make it look like nothing special. "I'm doin' it for Mokuba, you know." He inhaled and tried to look tough.
Tristan and Duke laughed, each slapping Joey. "You couldn't ever be a lawyer yourself, Joey! You can't lie very well!" Duke said, laughing.
Even Bakura cracked a grin at this, though he added more somberly, "What would we do if the bobbies tried to find him? We could get into a lot of trouble!" He looked around the table; everyone was giving him a funny look. "What?"
"Do you know someone named Bobby? Is that Mr. Januka's name?" Duke wrinkled his nose in disgust at such a peculiar name.
Flushing very faintly, Bakura answered, "That's what I call the police…" (I am going by the American dubbed version, in which Bakura has an English accent.)
The others started laughing again, though a sinister voice quickly brought them out of their fits of giggles.
"Oh? What's so funny about trying to do something illegal?" The cold voice of Mr. Hanakori instantly chilled the insides and made those eating have indigestion or choke.
"Eh, what?" Joey's face, simply read, was panicked.
The teacher's mouth twisted into what he believed was a smile. "I said, I heard your plans for doing something illegal, Mr. Wheeler, and I won't let you get away with it. How about so many and so long detentions for all of you that you don't have time to be going somewhere that is more than two hours away to steal a kid who is finally in a good environment?" He openly turned his twisted mouth into a smirk. "No, I think I'll just have the police watch you since I heard you threatening another student. Your record's long enough for them to take it seriously, Mr. Wheeler. And yours as well, Mr. Taylor," he continued, turning his sharp eyes to Tristan.
Tristan gulped, shrinking back from the vindictive teacher. The others were too shocked or frightened to say anything, except, of course, Téa.
She stood up to better glare at him. "What do you think you're doing, Mr. Hanakori? Can't students have a little friendly conversation at lunch without someone interpreting it incorrectly? We were only discussing going to visit our friend Mokuba, and you seemed to think we have something illegal planned! Honestly, someone should report you to the principal!"
The last line was too far for Mr. Hanakori. He grabbed Téa's wrist and dragged her away from the table and out into the hall.
Yugi gasped, and inside his mind from the puzzle, Yami's voice was calling out to Yugi to switch. There was a small flash from the puzzle, then, with a glare, Yami dashed after the teacher.
The others stared after him, wondering if they should try to help or if they'd only get in the way. Joey was all for dashing after his best bud, or, rather, the one who used to be his best bud, but the others held him back.
"If you go, Hanakori will just find some reason to expel you or even do as he threatened. You don't want the police to be watching you, do you?" Tristan, still holding his friend's arm, released it when Joey sagged down in defeat.
"I can't believe I gotta let him go out dere on his own. I really want ta pound Hanakori…"
-
Yami easily kept the loathsome teacher in sight, especially since Téa was making as much trouble for him as she could. Periodically pounding his hand and digging in her clonking shoes, she managed to slow the teacher enough that she glanced back and saw Yami.
"Let…me…go!" she said with each pound of her fist. "You're going to be in such major trouble!"
The teacher laughed lowly. "Who's going to stop me? Your parents? I have all the authority here. Teachers are highly respected in this country!" (technically, Japan, but because I know very little about their law and other systems, it is very American. One thing I do know is how seriously Japan takes education, though.)
She glared at him, refusing to reply, though her ears were tuned to listen to the footfalls of her hero, the other Yugi. At least he had come to save her.
The teacher glanced over her shoulder, corners of his mouth twitching. "Is that your boyfriend? Then I have even more reason to write you up. Underage dating is against the rules."
"He's not my boyfriend!" Téa cried, though she wished there had been a little more hesitation between her phrase and Mr. Hanakori's. Now, however, was not the time to contemplate her feelings for the other Yugi. It was best that he was here to save her and nothing more.
"I'm just coming to get back my friend from your clutches," Yami said, glaring. "You can't simply take her away and do whatever you want. Even teachers, though you like to believe you are gods and not like them, have to follow rules. I'll report your own illegal actions to the superintendent."
Yugi looked curiously at his counterpart. "What are you talking about, Yami? Mr. Hanakori has done illegal things?"
The Pharaoh gave a sideways grin. "There are many things you shouldn't dirty your mind with, Yugi, and what I observe and find useful are some of those things. If you really want to know about what I learned about so many of those you know…I could ruin your innocent mind forever."
Yugi was still staring at him, not certain what he wanted. He couldn't even begin to guess all of what Yami was talking about, so he wasn't certain he wanted to hear it. But if Yugi did not learn it, he would forever be curious.
Mr. Hanakori's face darkened and he sneered. "What could you possibly know about me?"
Yami still had that sideways leer on his own face, and he whispered something to the teacher, who instantly stiffened, whitened, and released Téa. Then, he calmed down, face turning back to its usual shade.
"You have no proof."
"Don't I?" The other Yugi still was smirking. "I know exactly where you put the chloroform, so when I send the police to your desk, they will have to believe me."
Bitterly, the teacher shoved the girl at the Pharaoh, muttering, "If you ever tell anyone about that, I'll murder you personally!" Then he swirled around and marched off in a huff, shoulders rising and falling with his heavy breathing. Most likely, the drug was about to be moved.
Yugi blinked. "Yami, I can't believe you saw that! I can't believe I saw it, then!" Moaning, the spirit form of Yugi hid his face in his hands. "Stealing from the school nurse's drugs?"
"I told you that you didn't want to know. And just because I saw it does not mean that you saw it. Technically, it was still just me, even if I use your body."
"That's supposed to make me feel better?" he wailed. "I can't look at any teacher the same after that. I don't think I will be able to do anything more the rest of the day because of this!"
"Then I will escort Téa back to the others," Yami replied.
Instantly, Yugi blushed and pulled his head free of his hands. "No, I'll do it."
Yami grinned once more, a light flashed, and the small Yugi was back in his place. Still slightly red, Yugi accepted Téa's thanks, saying that Yami really had done any rescuing. Then they went back to the others to resume their plot to bring Mokuba back to Domino.
-
Mokuba stared at the wall. There was clearly nothing interesting with it. The Janukas had made sure everything in his room was perfect, and the wall was no exception. Beige, simply pure beige. The strokes of the paintbrush were lost. Instead, just one flawless wall of one color took over all his sight.
That's not like real life, he thought. Nothing is perfect. I wish this wall were stained or ugly. Then, it might be closer to the truth.
He turned on his bed and closed his eyes, pulling the blankets over his head. His new "parents" were going to come for him soon. Ever since he had refused to leave his room, they had told Mokuba he was going to see a counselor. He was doing the best he could to ignore them all, but they had keys to all the rooms, and his was no exception. Once they decided who to see, they were going to drag him out however they could to do "what was best." As if they cared what was best. If they had, they would have brought him back to his brother long ago. Now, it would be best if they just left him to wither away in his room alone.
Fuguta had also tried to talk with him, but Mokuba never let in his former friend. Fuguta was a reminder of his old life, which was something he did not want to recall at all. He wished he could just live in his dream world. There, his parents were sometimes living, or else his brother had never won the chess game. In that world, the brothers were much closer, with fewer materials, but more happiness. Now, Mokuba tried to sleep to bring back the fair visions he saw. That was all he ever did these days: sleep.
School was no longer forced on him, since he was failing every subject. The teachers could not make him respond, and very often, Mokuba slept through the classes. Bullies picked on him, not that they dared to beat him up, but they just dragged his flagging spirits even further into the pit they were in.
No one had befriended him, and Mokuba never tried to make friends with anyone else. It was better to be alone. That way, no one could hurt. No one could be like his brother.
Once, when the soft knock landed on his door, Mokuba burrowed in deeper, crying softly to himself. Why, oh why, Seto, did you leave me here? Why didn't you do like you promised?
Then, his cold self took back over, for if his brother had one, so did the younger Kaiba. The exception was Mokuba's only came out rarely. Now, he told himself not to be crazy. He was away from his brother and that was best. Seto didn't want him anymore.
By that time, the knocking had ceased, though there was a grating as a key turned in the lock. Then, both Janukas looked in worriedly. They saw his huddled mass on the bed, and Mrs. Januka gasped. Surely he wasn't…
Mr. Januka reached the bed and pulled back the covers, his sigh of relief covered by his irritated movements to pry Mokuba from the bed. Then, all three went out the door, Mokuba dragging his feet the entire way.
The limo driver never asked questions. He opened the doors for the "family" and closed them again before beginning the drive to town. Silent, he ignored what was going on in the back of the limousine.
Lips pursed, face drawn, Mrs. Januka was extremely worried. But she said nothing.
"We're bringing you to a counselor for a good reason, Mokuba. Now, I want you to try your best to let the counselor help you. No child should have to be depressed, and no one wants to be around a depressed child."
"Then why don't you get rid of me?" Mokuba asked, turning to gaze out the window.
Mr. Januka's face went hard and he said nothing more. The rest of the ride was full of tension thick enough to bat away with a hand. But no one tried to make it move aside.
Tall, sturdy, and white, the building stood out from the sky. It also caused a slight tremor in Mokuba's chest as they stepped free of the vehicle and went up the stairs. It seemed more like a hospital than a counselor's office, and Mokuba wondered if that would be where he went next: a hospital.
Then I'd be out of everyone's way at least, he thought, trudging up, hating the feel of Mr. Januka's tight grip on his elbow. Nii-sama never would yank me like that! Then his mind went dull again as a little voice whispered to him from his memory. Actually, yes he would; whenever he was worried about me he would grab onto me tightly and pull me along. But those days are over. I am a Januka now—he said so. With that final thought, Mokuba went inside.
The hallways were brightly lit, highlighting the white walls. These, too, were perfectly clean and without blemish. Mokuba hated them.
There was a doorway on the right, outlined in wood. Within was a man in a white coat, writing something that he put down instantly upon seeing them. A smile adorning his face, the man stood to shake hands with the Janukas.
"Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Januka. And hello, Mokuba." The man smiled specifically at Mokuba, illustrating more of the color white with his pearly, straight teeth. Mokuba felt like punching them to make big gaps.
When Mokuba did not answer, the doctor straightened from the boy's height and turned again to the Janukas.
"I believed you explained the situation well enough to me, so if you will, give me some time alone with the boy. Then, I expect him back every day, you know. Depression can be a long trial, but it is nothing undefeatable."
The Janukas left, the missus casting back one lingering, sad look. Then the door was closed.
"Well, Mokuba. That's exactly my first lesson. Depression and your loneliness can seem bad, but it won't last forever. Why don't you tell me what kind of things you used to like to do?"
Mokuba didn't raise his head. He liked staring at the floor. It was not white, for one thing, and several cracks between tiles had dirt caked into them. They looked like little veins, keeping the place alive.
The counselor jotted some notes, and then gently prodded, "Mokuba? I want you to look at me." This time, the boy turned up his head to look at the counselor. "That's better," the man continued with a small smile. "Now, why don't you tell me about yourself? You can say anything you want."
That took a moment of contemplation. What did he want to say? Mokuba had wanted to shout and cry a variety of things before, but that had all passed now. In fact, the boy didn't think he wanted to say anything at all.
"Hmmm…" the counselor said as he wrote something more. The sound reminded Mokuba of his brother, as much as he didn't want to think of it. Shutting his eyes tightly, Mokuba buried his head into the crook of his arm after bringing his knees up before his face.
"Mokuba? What's the matter? Did I say something that upset you?" The counselor did not try to touch him or pry too deeply, but as they were getting no where, even his patience was being tried. Mentally counting in his head, the counselor was rewarded for his tactic by the small voice of Mokuba piping from under his arm.
"Maybe my name isn't Mokuba anymore. My other name has changed multiple times. Maybe I don't want to be called Mokuba anymore. He's gone." He left when my brother disowned me, the nameless boy thought mournfully.
The counselor again made some scratching noise with a pen. "I see. Then what do you want to be called?"
He shrugged in response, still not unburying his head.
"I have to call you something, young man. Now's your chance to choose for yourself. What do you want to be named?"
The small ticking of a clock was the only sound. Everything was still as Mokuba's mind reeled. Gradually, the working of his mind cleared, granting him clear sight at last. With a new name came a new person with a new life. He wouldn't be a Kaiba anymore, or even Seto's brother. Not a Januka either. Just a free boy to choose for himself what he wanted.
"I-I want to be called…" the boy began, raising his head slightly to peer at the doctor. "My name is Bewd. That's what you can call me."
The counselor did not react, but he was scanning his mind for any possible meanings for the name. Nothing came to explain the four-lettered word. Still keeping his face peaceful and without surprise, he asked, "And why did you choose Bewd?"
No longer appearing like a turtle poking its head out of its shell, Mokuba stared defiantly at the counselor with his knees away from his face. No one could take away his name. Now he was free and powerful, full of glory. He was something anyone would want, for who didn't like the Blue-Eyes White Dragon?
"My name is Bewd" was all Mokuba replied with. Then he looked around the room some more, seeing what the time was. He wished this were over already. But now that he had cooperated a little, maybe the counselor would leave him alone.
It seemed the counselor could read his mind, or at least, he followed Mokuba's eyes. He gave another small smile, wrote a final note, then stood and walked Mokuba to the door.
"I hope to see you again, Bewd. Now, do you mind if I speak to the Janukas before you go?"
Mokuba shrugged, so after opening the door, the counselor called on the two millionaires. As the boy took a seat outside, smiling at the thought of his new name, his foster parents inside were learning just what his new name was.
-
Around five o'clock, Roland asked Fintan how Mr. Kaiba was.
Fintan firmly shut the door to the CEO's room, closing his eyes to move away the painful memory of Kaiba's ashen features and stiff body. One hand had clenched his duel monsters cardnecklace while his lips mouthed a word that seemed like "Mokuba," and Fintan had thought he was coming around. Now, a half-hour later, he wasn't sure anymore.
"Well, he's fine from what he attempted. But now, he is lost inside himself, seein' what, I don't know." The goon doctor shook his head at the memories. "But how's the appeal comin' along?"
Roland managed to grow a little cheerier at the thought of the upcoming appeal. "It's in two days. I think we're going to win. There's no way the other side can defend itself from what proof we have." He shook his head. "I just wish Mr. Kaiba were up to help us and see how good our chances are. After all, he was the first to notice that the tapes they had were exactly the same as what we film every day in the Kaiba mansion. He just never seemed motivated enough to do something about it," he finished sadly.
Fintan patted the other goon's shoulder. "I'm sure Mr. Kaiba will wake up soon. If not before, then after his brother comes t' see him. Mokuba could break through any shield Kaiba puts around himself."
Nodding, Roland moved down the hall and into the room to take his watch, hoping Fintan was right.
From just a few feet away, a shorter person walked down the hall, eyes wide from what she had heard hiding behind the pillar outside Kaiba's room. Hurrying outside the hospital, Téa reported to the others everything she knew.
"I overheard a couple conversations. From what it sounded like, Kaiba's in the hospital because he is still unconscious from when he tried to commit suicide!" The rest of the gang looked as shocked as she did, but Téa hurriedly continued, "There's an appeal for the trial in two days, and Roland seemed sure they would win. So maybe there's no need for us to go get Mokuba."
Joey had a stubborn look on his face. "No. Dere's still a need. We're goin' tonight. I never dought I'd say dis, but Kaiba might not last long. He needs his brodda now."
Somewhat hesitantly, Yugi added, "I agree. We can't risk Kaiba's health!" Yami's image near him looked gravely at the boy, but said nothing.
The others gradually gave in, especially since not all of them had to go after the boy themselves. The only ones traveling the three-hour trip were Joey, Yugi, Tristan, and Téa. Duke had work to do in his store, Bakura wasn't close enough to Mokuba or Kaiba to care so much as well as being too nervous. The guys tried to talk Téa out of it, but she wouldn't hear of it. Neither would Yugi when Joey and Tristan warned him they were probably going to have to fight.
"They're my friends! I'm going to help!" Yugi's stubborn look convinced them, since he looked even surer than Joey did.
Joey was going to drive, but he hadhad to sneak away his dad's beat-up truck.
"Not too hard. He's passed out," Joey commented as they climbed in.
"I'm still not sure this is a good idea…"
Joey snorted. "You wanted to come, Yuge."
The smaller boy sighed. "I know. But we shouldn't steal your dad's truck!"
Tristan shook his head and Téa gave a small smile as Joey responded with a grunt, "He won't even notice it's gone. He'll still be in the same position that I left him in two days from now."
Yugi decided not to answer.
At 5:45, they were cruising down the road on a school night, trying to help out a friend by any means possible.
-
Mokuba went straight back to his room after the meeting, flopping onto his bed and easily forgetting the worried look his foster parent's exchanged at his door when he closed it on them. They hadn't said a single thing about his new name, and he was glad. They wouldn't understand.
The only one who would understand is you, nii-sama, Mokuba thought, but you don't care anymore. You probably didn't even try to win me back at the trial, only made it seem that way. Maybe you even set the entire thing up just to get rid of me. Your company was all you really loved anyway. Now you don't have to worry about me inheriting any of it.
Mokuba curled up on his bed, not crying, but trying to picture anything other than what was on his mind. The thought of his new name gave him new images, ones of a beautiful dragon. It had helped comfort him before, and even if it had some memories of his big brother, it still helped ease his pain again tonight, its light holding back the shadows a little.