"It's said to be nearly unbearable to witness, but I'll do my best…"
I'm sure you will, Severus. Other's pain has always been your pleasure, ever since school…
Currently, there is no time to dwell on ancient hostilities, as he's now advancing on me with his wand and a furiously insane glint in his eye. One that appeared astonishingly similar to the one my own eyes had, until recently, held. Murder. That's what it is.
The Dementor's Kiss…the thought of it doesn't terrify me nearly as much as it used to. I've seen so much, felt so much, and now only a few things remain with me, halt that descent into dreamworlds. I think it terrified me because I had many things to listen to. You hit a point eventually, when nothing really matters. Now, the only things I have are past memories, a desire to protect Harry, and a desire to kill that bastard Pettigrew.
And it's not like the Dementor's Kiss can ever be more painful than hers. She's gone now. I let her go, watched as she faded away to train to be an Auror. But she never saw battle. Killed on the day she was certified. I had seen her one last time, one last kiss, sweet and deadly. Those fateful words, "I'm going to be gone for a while now, Sirius…and I know you've been snogging Ellie Levine. And I've been snogging Martin Olymp. We're going aboard to spy in two weeks. I love you, and I know you love me, but…the stars have said otherwise."
She had always loved astrology, while personally, I found it a mere practice to comfort the weak. She was different, though. She almost made me believe.
Everything she had said had been true. Ellie Levine, though, had nothing on her. Ellie was only traditionally beautiful. She, however, was deliciously flawed. A chip on her right canine tooth, which were very fang-like in appearance. Skin that was lighter than a vampire's. Ebony hair that refused to be captured in any kind of hold, although occasionally it would stay in a purple veil-looking scarf around her head. She was tall, willowy. Her laugh was loud, uncaring, and embarrassing to me. Her smile was crooked, always showing, her eyebrows came too far apart, were too high, so she always looked surprised. She never wore pants, only long, billowy skirts with black lace-up tops. One silver, ruby necklace that held her father's ashes. And her eyes…such a bright blue they sometimes hurt to look at. Eyes that still haunt my dreams, along with every other girl I've ever been with.
She turned, and left the back alley where we had been, walking into Auror headquarters. I watched her go, rubbed my eyes to clear the image of her form from my mind, and walked away, feeling no regret, really.
She never laughed again.
Now, silence fills the room where, 20 years ago, the Marauders had reigned once a month. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs: we were nothing less than the elite. Remus had brains, James had status by being Quidditch captain, and I had looks. Not that we all didn't, but it was a known fact between us (secretly) and the girls of Hogwarts (openly), I was sovereign.
Funny how one little betrayal can change everything…
I had zoned out, and missed the wands of Harry, Hermione, and Remus cursing Snape. Accidental, of course. I would have smiled if I remembered how.
They're talking now, but I only see one thing: that familiar rat. That damn rat that ruined our lives. Betrayed us all…and I feel that familiar fury creeping up my veins. My nails, long from disregard, pierce my palms. Remus recognizes these gestures, and throws me a warning glance. There's a buzzing in my ears…
"SIRIUS!"
The story.
If I don't tell it, Harry will regard me always as a murderer.
I believe the murder can wait.
I begin the tale.
Hours later, such long hours, I'm flying. Free, yet still constricted. Yet somehow, the air flows more freely. I don't know where I'm going, where I'll be, how long I'll be here, but for now…the only thing I can do is keep going.
I believe I'm far enough away to find a place to sleep, as lack of it is causing my head to fog. I find a place, navigate Buckbeak to a spot where we won't be found for a while, and land. He falls asleep almost instantly, yet I look out from under the canopy of trees.
Sun's rising now. A brilliant red, tinged with a shocking blue, a familiar blue. Two eyes form, smirk, and dissolve into nothing. She's still with me…and I can still feel her intense, painful, wonderful equivalent to the Dementor's Kiss.
A/N- I'm baaaaack! This's been in my head since the release of PoA…yeah. Sorry if I offended any rabid Sirius fangirls…erm…I liked it anyway. Sorry, mind's somewhere else currently. Leave a review, s'il vous plait.. Hopefully, inspiration will strike for either a Remus fic, James fic, Peter fic, possibly (insert character here) fic. Au revior for now!