New Account

by Simon920

Sequel to New Kid. Years later, Brian's first true love reappears offering his account to Vanguard.

Title: New Account 1

Author: Simon

Pairing: B/J/OC

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Brian's first lover reappears years later.

Warnings: none...well, other than that there's a rival in the fold.

Disclaimers: These guys aren't mine, they don't belong to me, worst luck, so don't bother me.

Archive: Moonshadow Tribe and ATP

Feedback: Hell, yes.

In case you've neglected to commit the first part to memory—didn't know there'd be a quiz later, did you? —'New Kid' followed 14-year-old, high school freshman Brian's adjustment to his new school, his befriending Michael and his first love who was a senior named Keith White. Though the boys were in love, the affair ended badly with Brian being dumped. Years later, in the present, Brian was surprised to have Keith walk into his office as a potential client. In fact, he had looked up Brian to renew their acquaintance, using his account as a way to meet fact to face. Brian is with Justin and back at Vanguard. It's after Season 3 and Keith, a nice guy, by the way, is willing to wait for his chance.

This story is the result of a request from a reader who wondered what happened after the first story ended.

New Account

Part One

Sequel to New Kid

Brian had a meeting scheduled with the executive board of Multitech for Monday. It would be held at their headquarters in Silicon Valley out in California and he had flown in Saturday at Keith's suggestion. The two of them could iron out some questions about the campaign and Brian could get a tour of the operation without constant interruptions.

Reluctantly, he had agreed to the trip.

He was uncomfortable with the situation and he disliked being put in a position where he felt out of control. Keith had called Gardner directly, bypassing Brian, to request that Brian come out to California to meet with his top people and outline the ideas behind the new ads. Vance had agreed that Brian would go out and had accepted Keith's generous offer to have him stay at the house rather than in some hotel. In fact, Gardner was probably happy to be saving the thousand or so dollars the hotel would have cost the company, not bothering at ask Brian if had any objections with the arrangements.

That in itself had pissed him off. He resented being treated like a Goddamned flunky.

When Brian had said that he would prefer not being in the position of having to accept the man's hospitality and that he felt it would blur the line between client and provider, Gardner had said that he was being foolish. They were all adults and Mr. White hardly seemed the type to press an advantage. The man was married, for the love of God, had been for over a decade. Vance had added, somewhat snidely, that he doubted if Brian was his type.

Yeah, right.

Besides, he suspected that Brian could take care of himself.

Christ.

He had been complaining so much about the meeting in California for the past couple of days that Justin had wondered what Brian's real objection was to the trip—it wasn't like he didn't travel all the time for his job.

Brian wasn't about to tell him that he and Keith had a history that went back as far as his friendship with Mikey, let alone that Keith had been his first lover. Justin would likely have pulled a drama queen moment for the history books, either that or he would have feigned indifference while actually tearing himself up behind a mask of WASP manners. He was adept at the catchall "I'm fine."

Not knowing the back story, but realizing that there was more going on that he was aware of, Justin had decided to just play it cool and hope that whatever was bothering Brian about this client would simply blow over. It actually occurred to him to wonder if there was something going on between the two men—and then dismissed it. And he sure as Hell wasn't about to ask Brian.

Justin and Gardner didn't know that Keith had already told Brian that he'd filed for divorce and that he was willing to wait until the relationship with Justin had run it's course. In fact, he had said that since he'd already waited fifteen years, a couple more wouldn't matter all that much.

He had told Keith that he wasn't interested in dredging up the past, that they were history, over, done. He had come right out and said that he was happy with Justin, that they were happy together and that the most Keith could hope for was—maybe—friendship.

Keith had said that he would wait. There wasn't any hurry. He just wanted to know if the chemistry they'd had when they were younger was still there and as far as he was concerned, it was—in spades.

What a fucking mess.

Finally, there really wasn't anything he could do about it other than tell Vance everything and he wasn't about to do that. He had simply gotten on the plane to LAX and was now in Keith's guest room, changing into jeans and a casual but decent shirt to join the wife—Patty—out by the pool for drinks. She had met him at the gate, saying that it was nicer than sending a driver and had chatted non-stop during the drive to their home.

She was an attractive woman and reminded him of a younger version of Jennifer. She obviously spent a lot of her time and energy on trying to look good and succeeded in a slightly overdone sort of way. She was intelligent, well read and used to entertaining. She seemed the perfect corporate wife who obviously adored her husband.

She told him that Keith had mentioned they had been in school together and she was dying to ask him all sorts of questions about what he was like back then. Keith denied it, but she just knew that he had probably dated the homecoming queen or the head cheerleader or one of the class beauties. That would be Keith's style, he'd never settle for less than the best.

In fact, that was one of the things Keith had told him years ago after they had made love. At the time it had made him cry with happiness.

As soon as she realized what she had said she had the grace to blush and laugh. If she had any idea that her husband was gay—or at least bi, she gave no indication of it.

She likely had no idea that her husband had taken Brian's virginity when they were in high school or that they had vowed undying love to one another for almost a year.

Either she was incredibly naïve, which seemed unlikely, or a damn good actress.

They had no kids and she had confided that she'd had three miscarriages. After she asked he had, reluctantly, brought out a photo of Gus, which she had exclaimed over.

Keith was expected in about an hour. His wife had no idea that the two men had both secretly kept track of one another all these years. Patty sure as Hell had no idea that Brian was there as part of Keith's plan to win him back.

The woman suggested a tour of the house, probably as a way to pass the time. Mentally shrugging, Brian agreed.

Not surprisingly, the house was a showplace. Brian remembered the awe he had tried to paste over with cool the first couple of times he had gone to Keith's childhood home. It was his first introduction to how the other half lived and he had never forgotten how it had affected him to be accepted in a place like that—and more importantly, by a family like Keith's. He also had never forgotten their kindness to him and the closeness between them, the fact that they actually liked each other and enjoyed one another's company. Keith's parents had even offered to take Brian in when they had found out about the abusive nightmare of his home life.

He had fantasized that he would live in Keith's room—or just down the hall. He would go to school everyday and come home and there would be people who would ask him how he was and what had he done and how was the math test? They wouldn't be drunk and he wouldn't get hit anymore. They would let him eat a decent dinner and care about what he had to say. Then he would go upstairs where he would be able to call Keith to tell him about his day and ask Keith about his. They would tell each other everything and then on vacations when he came home they would pretend that they were like brothers in front of everyone but at night they would make love.

When Brian graduated from high school he would go to some school close to Keith and they would be together.

They had it all planned, it would be perfect.

They were in love.

But then they had been discovered and Jamie had threatened to tell everyone. Keith had become angry and frightened and he had ended it that night.

Nothing Brian had said, nothing he could do would change Keith's mind and all contact had abruptly ended—until he had walked into Brian's office two weeks ago.

Shit.

And now Keith wanted to try to pick up where they had left off.

The pisser was that Brian wasn't sure what he wanted to do about it.

He had Justin.

He loved Justin, Damnit and Justin loved him. Justin loved him almost the same way he had loved Keith all those years ago.

What a fucking mess.

He had thought about refusing the trip or simply making some excuse.

Christ—all Gardner needed was to hear that his partner had a major account handed to him so that the CEO could get back in his pants.

Perfect.

Of course, on the other hand, Gardner would likely have no problem with that so long as the checks cashed without problem.

So here he was, being polite to Keith's wife who might not know that her husband of over ten years was about to ditch her for the man sitting next to her. It was now Saturday; he'd be here through Monday.

Let the games begin.

Patty had gone on about how perfect their life together was, how happy they were and he was everything that she had ever hoped to find in a man. That had lasted for the hour or so until Keith showed.

He walked out to where we were sitting by the pool, shook Brian's hand, welcomed him and settled in between the guest and his wife. Between the two wives—past and future as far as he was concerned, his conversation was casual, he was as gracious as anyone could hope and no one gave anything away about what they really thought.

Dinner was about the same. Brian was taken to a local Thai place with excellent food and the usual social niceties were observed. When they were finished and back at the house Brian could reasonably plead jet lag as an excuse to get away to the guestroom. He read quietly to himself after a call to Justin to let him know that he had arrived safely and that everything seemed fine. Justin, pleased that Brian would think to call him, told him that three of his paintings had been selected for the big student show, as many as any one student was allowed and that the weather was supposed to get terrible. The snow that had been threatening all day was just starting and feet were expected. Brian should make sure to call before he tried to get home on Monday—the storm was predicted to last at least two days and the airports could be screwed up.

Damn. Yes, he'd be sure to check. How was he? Fine, it was in the mid-seventies. He'd call tomorrow—be careful with the snow.

The next day, Sunday, the two men drove over to the complex that housed Multitech. It was closed and no one would be there to bother them, they could roam at will, take as much time as they needed.

Brian was impressed with what he saw. Keith's company was starting to rival Dell in the semi-custom home computer market. They had a growing reputation for quality, service and decent prices. Their hiring policy was completely nondiscriminatory and benefits were generous.

The physical plant was a bright, well-designed space with human needs taking priority. Each workstation was personalized and Brian had to smile when Keith told him that every employee was given their birthday off with pay.

It was the sort of thing that Justin would like.

When Brian asked Keith why he did that he was told that when Keith had learned—years ago—that Brian had never celebrated a birthday it had stuck with him. Everyone should be special at least one day a year—this was just a little payback for the shit Brian had been through.

Brian just looked at him as he walked on.

Keith had every reason to be as proud of the place. Everything about it was impressive.

The tour and another going over of the ideas took the better part of the day, with Keith throwing in several excellent thoughts of his own that would be included.

Finally feeling ready for the next day with the senior staff, the two men headed back to the house when Keith turned off the main road, detouring to a local park.

"Do you mind? I like to walk here."

"No, whatever you want. It's your football."

They got out of the parked car, strolling along a well-tended path through a small wooded area, finally finding a large grouping of rocks to sit on.

"I'm sorry that you're angry I had you come out here, I'd like to clear the air."

"It wasn't necessary for me to fly across the country for this, Keith. We both know that and I don't know what you hope to gain by having me stay with you and your wife. All it's doing is make me feel sorry for her."

"She asked to meet you. She knows how I feel about you, Bri. She knows about our history together."

Brian gave Keith a look. "Are you shitting me? You fucking told her and then expected us to all have a nice dinner together? What—you fuck her while I sleep down the hall? What the Hell are you playing here? You know I'm with someone."

"I didn't try to set you up, Bri. She knows about us and wanted to meet you. Patty knows it's over between us, she knows the divorce will be final in a couple of months—she just wanted to meet you."

"Why? To check out the competition?" Keith saw the look on Brian's face.

"She told me last night that she understood why I couldn't let go of you."

"Damn nice of her to give her blessing."

Keith shrugged. "I guess that's what it is in a way."

Christ. "Keith, I told you that I'm with someone."

"I know that and if I thought that you'd be happy with him long term I'd back off, but you'll outgrow him sooner or later."

"Keith…"

"Right now he flatters your ego—a pretty boy who adores you."

"Justin is more than that." There was no answer. "Why did you wait fifteen years to try to get a hold of me?"

"I was afraid that you'd hang up on me after the way I treated you."

Shit. They might as well clear all the air, not just some of it. "I waited for you for three years. Three fucking years. Then I forgot about you."

"I don't believe that. I saw the look on your face when I walked into your office. You may not love me anymore, but you sure as Hell didn't forget me."

Brian was becoming exasperated. "Whatever. What the fuck did you think would happen out here? That I'd leave the guest room unlocked and you could sneak in? That we'd get a room somewhere? Jesus, Keith. I'm not fourteen anymore."

Keith knew this was the wrong way to go with Brian. He wouldn't be pushed. "No—I just wanted to be able to talk and…"

"See where we stand?"

"Yes, be friends again." They sat in silence for a couple of minutes. "Tell me about Justin." For a moment he thought that he was going to get a real answer about the boy. He was wrong.

Brian stood up, turning to go back to the car. "I'm not going to do this with you. You want me to handle your fucking account, fine. You don't, that's fine too. I'll stay through the meeting on Monday and then I'm going home. If you want to contact me, you know where I work."

"Brian, wait…"

"I'll even stay at your Goddamned house so that we don't have to give a lot of explanations to Vance and your wife about what's going on, but we've been finished for years. I've gotten way the Hell over it." He started walking. "You should do the same."

The ride back to the house was silent. At dinner Brian let Patty steer the conversation into neutral ground. Later that night, around one in the morning, he was sitting on one of the lounge chairs by the pool. The house was dark, the pool lights off. He assumed that his hosts were asleep.

The conversation that afternoon—the entire visit and being with Keith again had brought up feelings and memories that he'd spent almost two decades trying to bury.

It wasn't just that Keith had dumped him—though he later understood that it had been done for his own good—it was the way it was done, as painfully as possible and seemingly without remorse or regret.

He now knew that wasn't true. Keith had pushed him off a cliff, cut off all contact to stop the gay rumors that were starting concerning the two of them. Leaving for college in a couple of months, Keith didn't care for himself. He was worried that Brian would cave under three years of innuendo, snide comments, possible physical attack and ostracism, especially since Keith wouldn't be there to help him through it.

His plan has largely worked. Brian had Captained both the Soccer and Track teams, made the honor society and received the scholarships he needed to get to a good school.

He had also rebuilt the defensive walls that Keith had broken down. Until Justin came along years later, he had never admitted to himself that he loved anyone other than platonically.

Keith hadn't forgotten him, had only hurt him because he had genuinely believed that it was for the best. Keith had loved him as much as he had loved Keith, maybe even more if that was possible.

And Brian knew that he had been lying to Keith when he told him that he'd gotten over him, that he'd forgotten him. In truth, a week hadn't gone by that he hadn't thought about Keith. Not a single Goddamned week since he was fifteen years old. He couldn't hear the name 'Keith' without a pang. He couldn't watch a soccer game, see the number twenty-seven, Keith's old number, without it hurting.

As much as he loved Justin, Keith was still in his brain. The question now was whether being aware of him had become simply a habit or was it unfinished business that needed to be resolved?

Shit.

And where did this leave Justin?

Shit.

It didn't help that Keith had become a beautiful man, that he was still intelligent, well spoken and had a kind heart.

It was the old cliché; the one about never forgetting your first love. Much as he didn't want to admit the fact, the feelings that he had for Keith were old and ghosts, but they were still there.

"You alright?"

Keith appeared at the foot of his chaise. It was a dark night and he couldn't really make out his face, just his voice.

"Couldn't sleep, that's all. You?"

"I couldn't sleep either." He sat on the chair next to Brian. "Look, I know you're pissed about how I got you out here, but—shit, I just wanted to see you, see if we still had the connection that we used to."

That was why Brian had, reluctantly, agreed to get on the plane in the first place. He'd resented being blindsided by Keith just walking into his office. Yes, he'd been angry at being manipulated, but he could have refused.

He was curious about whether of not anything was left.

"I meant what I said, Bri. I won't push this if you don't want it. The truth is that after all this time, I wouldn't want you if you weren't sure about it…fuck…I'm in the middle of a divorce and up to my ears at work. I don't need any more crap right now. Like I said, if there's a reason to, I'll wait, but I don't want to jump if we don't know what we're doing."

The two men lay without speaking for a few minutes, just thinking, watching the sky. Brian finally broke the silence.

"Do you remember that night we spent at your grandmother's?" It was the night that fourteen-year-old Brian had been really introduced to sex, it was the first night he'd slept with another man, well, with another boy.

"Of course I remember."

"Before we got into bed we were flirting and kissing, but I wished we could just skip the warm up and just get past all the awkwardness and past all the uncertainly and just love each other."

"I felt the same way. I wanted to make love to you but I didn't know how you'd react." He heard the smile. "You were only fourteen years old. I almost felt like a child molester."

"I was scared to death but I knew that I loved you and that I wanted you, even though I didn't really know what that meant then."

"I thought that if I could get you through the first night with hurting you, you'd be alright. And you were a very mature fourteen year old." He heard the slight laugh.

"Yes, I guess I was, at that."

The silence was back as they both thought back to the night they became lovers. "I still feel that way, Bri. I still wish we could get past the crap and—you know."

No answer.

"Bri?"

"You were the first person who ever called me that. No one else had ever cared enough to give me a nickname." The silence was back for a bit. "What happened to your parents? Are they still alive?"

"They retired to Boca about five years ago. They're fine—you know, they really did want to move you into the house. My Dad in particular liked you. He kept telling me that you were smarter than all of us put together. I think he wanted you to become another son."

"How would he have felt about me becoming a son-in-law?"

"…After I told them I was gay—and that was only a couple of years ago—they would have been fine with it."

No answer. At one time Brian had wanted that more than almost anything.

"Are you hesitating because you're simply unsure or because you don't want to hurt Justin?"

For fifteen years this had been an unfinished chapter in his life. For fifteen years he had wondered what would happen if they were to see each other again. For fifteen years he had lived with Keith at the edge of his thoughts and often in his dreams.

"Yes, to both questions. And I—care about him."

He heard Keith sit up, lean across the two feet separating the loungers and take his hand. "Alright. But give me a chance, at least. OK?" His knuckles were kissed.

Almost unconsciously he caressed Keith's jaw before gently pulling his hand away.

Standing, he paused for a few seconds, started to say something then stopped, turned and walked into the house.

TBC

10/3/03

Title: New Account 2

Author: Simon

Pairing: B/J/OC

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Brian's first lover reappears.

Warnings: none

Disclaimers: These guys aren't mine, they don't belong to me, worst luck, so don't bother me.

Archive: Moonshadow Tribe and ATP

Feedback: Hell, yes.

New Account

Part Two

Going back to the guestroom, Brian picked up the phone, meaning to call Justin until he realized that it was almost five in the morning on the East Coast. It would have to wait.

Damnit, this was why he didn't want to fall in love anymore after that first time around with Keith. It was complicated, painful, messy.

It made things too fucking difficult.

So as it seemed to stand now, Keith was convinced that he would get tired of Justin at some point in the fairly near future and that then they would basically pick up where they had left off in 1986.

The pisser was that Brian had to admit, at least to himself, that he still found Keith to be amazing—smart, handsome, accomplished and one of the genuinely nicest damn people he'd ever met. Even his soon to be ex wife wanted him to be happy, for Christ's sake. How many men could claim that?

Alright, bringing him out to California was tricky, sure it was, manipulative, but fuck me—if he wanted something as much as Keith seemed to want him he'd do whatever it took.

Hell—he HAD done whatever it took. The loft was still bare in areas where he hadn't replaced everything he'd sold to finance the anti-Stockwell ads.

You do what you have to do.

He began to wonder about that, now that he had a few minutes to give that some thought. What the Hell did Patty know about him and Keith and when did she know it?

How long had she known that her husband preferred men and why the fuck was she so obliging about it?

He searched his brain and couldn't think of a single women he knew who'd take the news as well as the soon to be ex Mrs. White seemed to be. It was damn strange.

And Justin, what was he going to do about him? They'd only been back together six months or so, it had only been two months since he'd moved back into the loft and things had been going so Goddamned well between them. Justin was about to start back at PIFA, he'd been doing a lot of freelancing for some of the other ad firms around and had even gotten a couple of commissions from private clients who wanted the unique quality he brought to portraits. His self confidence was as high as it had ever been before the bashing made a big dent in that part pf his life and Brian knew that he loved the twat—he'd even almost come out and said it. Almost.

Justin knew, though. He did.

There had been that night a few months ago when they had just regained their breath after a couple hours of incredible sex, Justin pressed against him, both of them hot and sweating and reeking—he had told Brian that he loved him and Brian almost—almost returned it. He hadn't, not quite, but Justin had looked at his face, burst out laughing and just said, "You're busted. You are sooo busted."

Brian's answer had been a less than romantic "fuck you", but he was laughing when he said it. He knew.

They both knew.

Since then they had been pretty much monogamous. OK, maybe not 100, but pretty damn close. He could count the slips on one hand and that was something he'd never thought would happen again, not since he and Keith had imploded.

Oh screw it.

He picked up the phone. It was now six AM in Pittsburgh, three AM in California. He had to be up in four hours to get ready for the presentation to Keith's people, but he wanted—needed—to touch base with Justin.

The phone answered on the fourth ring.

Justin's voice was sleepy of course, but he wasn't angry.

"Hey. How are things going out there? You getting a tan sitting by the pool?"

"A little. What's going on there? Am I missing anything?"

"You're missing me or you wouldn't be calling at dawn. Are you OK?"

"…I'm alright. It's fine. I just can't sleep."

There was a slight pause. "Brian? Are you worried about something? That's usually when you can't sleep."

Damn, the kid had him nailed. "Nothing really. The pitch is tomorrow then I can come home."

"You worried about the pitch? That's not like you. Is something wrong with it?" He didn't ask if anything was wrong with Keith, he noticed. Justin was a smart fucker.

"No, the pitch will be fine. I guess that I'm just homesick. Is everything alright there?"

Justin seemed to be digesting the concept of Brian being homesick and what he might be homesick for. "Everything here is OK—oh, except the weather. Have you been paying attention? Wait a second…" There was the sound of rustling and movement on the other end of the line. "Yeah, I though so. It's still snowing really hard here, you should make sure your flight isn't cancelled later."

Just what he wanted. Shit. "Are you sure?"

"I'm looking out the window at it. I can barely see across the street and the cars are pretty much buried."

"Fuck, yeah, I'll call the airlines later and let you know what's going on."

They were quiet for a few seconds, Justin watching the snow, Brian not wanting to stay where he was longer than he had to.

"Brian? What's going on?"

"Nothing, it's fine."

"Bullshit. I can hear your voice. Something's bothering you."

"It's…I just miss you, that's all." Brian could almost hear the smile on the other end of the line.

"I miss you, too. I love you, Brian."

"I—know. Try to get back to sleep, OK?"

"Call me if you can't get back tonight."

"I will. Later."

"Later."

Well, shit. Now he felt like a turd. He hadn't even done anything and he felt like he was two timing Justin. OK, it was the old 'lust in his heart' thing, but Damnit—he and Keith had been, God, they had been as tight as he and Justin were now. They had loved each other; they had shared their bodies before Brian had decided that it was all just fucking. They had told each other everything there was to know about one another and they had loved each other whole heartedly and with out reservation.

Yes, sure, it had been a long time ago, but you didn't fucking just forget that. You couldn't forget it and was there anyone in the whole Goddamned world who didn't have someone in their lives they wondered about? Didn't everyone have somebody—an old lover, an ex, a no when you really meant yes, the one who got away—who you had to wonder about?

Doesn't everyone have a 'what if' in their past?

'What if' he hadn't been transferred?

'What if' the proposal had been accepted?

'What if' you'd gone to a different college?

'What if your parents hadn't walked in at the wrong moment?

'What if' you hadn't been afraid?

'What if' he and Keith had another chance?

Shit.

What if he and Keith had another chance? Would he take it? Did he want to? What if he and Keith tried again and it worked? What if it didn't? Either way, what about Justin? How the fuck could he do to Justin what had been done to him by both Keith and Justin himself?

They had both torn him in half and left him bleeding.

How the fuck could he and Keith be happy—would they be happy?—if he knew he'd hurt Justin in the process?

How could he be happy with the damn question hanging over his head for the next fifteen years?

Fuck.

He had to sleep. He had to. He had an important pitch in a few hours. OK, he knew that they already had the account, but it would make things a Hell of a lot easier down the line if the rest of Keith's people were on board from the beginning.

Forcing himself, he lay down and closed his eyes, seemingly opening them almost immediately to a gentle knocking sound. Patty was telling him it was time to get ready to go.

He acknowledged, thanking her and hoped that a shower would get his eyes open.

An hour later, clean, dressed and breakfasted, he and Keith were driving the fifteen minutes to Multitech's headquarters. Pulling into the reserved parking place, they walked in together. The drive had been fairly quiet since both of them were exhausted from the late night. Luckily, he was used to operating on not enough sleep.

They went into a conference room, shook hands with the people waiting for them and Brian's professional instincts and experience kicked in. An hour and a half later the meeting was over, everyone was impressed and Brian knew that, at least professionally, there shouldn't be any big problems. He was walked around the offices to meet the various people who he might have reason to deal with over the next couple of years, although he knew it was just a courtesy on Keith's part so that the employees would feel part of the process. It took a while and they didn't finish the full circuit until almost noon.

In Keith's office, after the usual hand shaking and small talk with the suits was finally, finally over, Brian sat down in one of the leather chairs across the desk and decided—what the fuck—let's just cut to the chase here.

"That went well, Bri, you impressed them just like I though you would. You had them eating out of your hand." He was smiling. "I'm proud of you, Bri—you turned out as well as I knew you would. Better."

"…Right, thanks. Look, Keith—one thing I don't quite get here."

"Anything."

"Patty—why is she so fucking accepting about this whole scenario you've come up with between the two of us?"

Keith seemed to be half expecting the question.

"She has a lover herself, has for years." He stopped for a moment at Brian's stare. "She

knows I'm gay. About three years ago I told her the whole story, I even told her about you when she found some articles I'd saved about you from Advertising Week and the Pittsburgh papers. You're making quite a name for yourself, you know."

"And you stayed together because…"

"Right, we stayed together because of the whole corporate image and since neither of us had anyone else to go to at that point. Besides, we really are good friends. We get along great. We're just roommates now, but it works out fine. We enjoy each other."

Brian took it in; it wasn't all that rare an occurrence. His own story with Lindsay wasn't so different. "And then she found someone?"

"About a year ago. Adrian, he's a surgeon in LA. He's decent enough. They'll probably get married eventually.

"What? And she wants to get you settled first?"

"She just wants to make sure that I'll be alright. I told you, we're still close friends."

Brian gave him a look. Damnit, he still liked the man, still respected him and still wanted him to be happy, despite everything that had happened between them.

He'd been wondering about something. "Is your grandmother still alive?" As teenagers they had spent a night at her farm near Gettysburg, ostensibly to help her move some furniture. That was the night they consummated their relationship. It was the first night they slept together and was the first night Brian had ever slept with another man.

"She's still on the farm, but now she has a caretaker managing it for her. She broke her hip last winter but luckily the therapy seems to be working for her. You know, she asked about you for a while. She liked you."

He nodded. "I liked her, too."

There was a knock at the office door and Keith's secretary came in. "Mr. Kinney? I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just checked on your flight. Because of the snow back east, all airports east of the Mississippi are closed."

"Do they have any idea how long?"

She just shrugged and shook her head and left.

"Fuck. I have to make a call, Justin is expecting me tonight."

"I'm sure he knows that the flights are grounded. Just stay with us and we'll see where we are in the morning."

There was an open-ended comment for you.

"I'd still like to call him."

"Of course. Here use this phone; I was going to go over some things with Meredith, anyway. Take your time."

Three in the afternoon back home; Justin would be in class if it wasn't cancelled. He called the cel.

"Hey."

"Hey. Look, I can't get back tonight."

"I figured. It's still snowing like a bitch here, you may be there a couple of days, they even cancelled PIFA and that usually takes an act of Congress. Do you want me to call Cynthia and let her know?"

"I'll do it. Are you alright there? You're at the loft, right?"

"I'm at my Mom's. I came over this morning because she doesn't like to drive in snow and Molly was at a friend's house so I picked her up. Now I'm sort of stuck because the roads aren't plowed yet. The news says that this should last through tomorrow. I think it's setting some kind of a record"

"Oh great."

Justin was laughing on the other end. "You're so full of shit. It's like eighty degrees there. You're probably hanging out by some pool."

"I'm working my fingers to the fucking bone, you twat."

"Uh-huh." There was some talking in the background. "Molly says 'hi'."

"Yeah, hi. I'll call you when I know something, OK?"

There was a change in his voice as he probably either walked to another room or half covered the mouthpiece. "Brian? Are you alright? You sound…I don't know, you sound upset about something."

"I'm fine."

"…Well, good. Be careful, OK?"

The connection was broken and Brian realized that Justin knew something was going on.

TBC

10/5/03

Title: New Account 3

Author: Simon

Pairing: B/J/OC

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Brian is stranded in California amid temptation.

Warnings: none

Disclaimers: These guys aren't mine, they don't belong to me, worst luck, so don't bother me.

Archive: Moonshadow Tribe and ATP

Feedback: Hell, yes.

New Account

Part Three

Keith called Patty to come pick up Brian from the office, explaining that he would be staying another day or two because of the storm in the east. She was there in about half an hour.

The ride back to the house was slightly strained and Brian wondered, not for the first time, how she really felt about the awkward situation. He wasn't really buying that she was as cool about the whole thing as Keith was insisting. Bullshit to that.

After a polite lunch that involved little more than small talk, Brian tracked Gardner down to his home where he was unable to get out of his own driveway. He was happy to hear that the meetings had gone well, that the account was solid and understood that Brian couldn't get back when planned.

It was agreed that since he was out in California anyway, he and Keith might as well try to get the first series of ads largely put to bed, at least the main body of them. When Brian got back to Pittsburgh they could put the finishing touches on things.

Taking his briefcase with him after changing into a bathing suit to take advantage of the perfect weather they were having—a relatively modest one—he settled by the pool to flesh out some copy.

About forty-five minutes after he got started he looked up when a shadow fell across his work.

"I thought that you could use something to drink." Patty handed him a glass of iced tea, taking the seat next to him and putting her own drink on the table between them. It was the same chairs that he and Keith had sat in last night.

"Thanks." He looked at her expectantly as she seemed to regard him.

She cut right to the chase. "Keith told me that you two were talking last night. You know that he's still in love with you, don't you?"

Fuckaduck. Well, it was inevitable, might as well get it out of the way.

"I know that he claimed to be in love with me when he was seventeen years old. He doesn't know me now."

She seemed ready to dismiss that argument out of hand. "Sure he does, Brian. He knows all sorts of things about you. He knows that you're intelligent, that you're successful in your work—he was telling me how impressed he was by you—he knows that you're a remarkably handsome man, he knows that you still care about him."

"That's just a resume. He doesn't know anything about me."

"He found out that you were fired for sabotaging a client's election campaign then rehired a few months later and he knows why you did it—in fact that was what made him contact you, that you were willing to throw away your career on something like that. He told me that was the sort of thing you'd have done back in high school—stand up to bullies and bigots. He knows that you were given an award for courage for saving that boy's life—and he knows that you think that you're in love with that young man you live with."

He wasn't going to get into that with this woman. Shit.

"And he knows that you two still have chemistry together. I've seen that myself, so there's no point in trying to deny that one." She was smiling at him. What the Hell was she after?

"You've listed more resume points, you know shit about me. I'm happy with Justin and I resent this crap that you two seem to have come up with to put us together."

She gave him another look, ignoring his glare. "No, you're flattered that he's still thinking about you and that he's pursuing you. You're annoyed because you think that he's trying to manipulate you by tossing his account to your company and having you come out here for that presentation you gave today."

"Whatever. And just where do you see Justin in all of this? Did you really think at I'll just toss him out and throw myself into Keith's arms?"

She answered him honestly. "I don't know Justin, but I would assume that for you to be this involved with him he must be exceptional, despite his age."

"…Thank you."

"I also think that simply because of the age and maturity differences, and the disparity of where you both are in your careers that you'll start to grow apart fairly soon, certainly within the next year or so…maybe when he graduates from school and starts on a new phase of his life. At the very least, you'll probably have a lot of conflict in the next few years if you stay together."

"You sound pretty sure of yourself for barely knowing me and for not even having met Justin."

"I'm usually pretty good at people issues."

He put down his laptop, closing the lid. OK, of course. "You're a shrink?"

"You're quick, Keith was right about that. PhD in psychology from Berkeley. I teach at Occidental and practice at Cedars."

"So is that why I'm here, so that you could give Keith your take on me?"

She smiled, caught. "That's part of it. He really did want you to make the presentation, though, and he wanted you to see his company. That's all on the up and up." She saw the expression on his face. "He wouldn't have given you the account of he didn't think you'd do a good job. Multitech is important to him, he won't jeopardize it for anyone."

He sighed. Christ, this just kept getting better and better. "So after having met me and seen me with Keith, what's your analysis, Doc?"

She sipped her tea while she formulated her answer, it took a moment. "I think that you and Keith would compliment each other remarkably well. You're similar in intelligence, ambition, attitudes and even politics. You're close enough in age that you could grow into the different stages of life together with a minimum of conflict. In addition to that, you have a history together and deep feelings that are still strong in both of you. You even have a similar level of physical attractiveness." She seemed almost wistful. "I think you two would be perfect together."

Jesus. "And you two think I'll dump Justin after hearing this?"

She looked startled. "No, of course not." She took another drink of tea. "I think you're probably angry and feeling that you've been set up and you'd be partially right. You'll probably go back to Pittsburgh and wish we would drop dead."

"Excuse me?" That wasn't the answer he expected.

"Oh, absolutely. But in a year or two you and Justin will start having serious problems, or you very well could be, and then you'll start thinking about Keith—he loves you very deeply, you know. He never really stopped." A phone started ringing in the house, she stood up to answer it. "He'll wait for you."

Putting his laptop on the table, he got up, himself and took a running dive into the pool, swimming off his anger and frustration churning through fast laps for twenty minutes. After, winded, he hung on the edge of the pool before pulling himself out and settling in the attached Jacuzzi.

What a Goddamned, fucking mess.

As he sat there, surrounded by the elaborate rose garden that was, he had learned at dinner the night before, on of Patty's passions, his mind started drifting. He was still tired fro the lack of sleep the night before and the swim had tired him out more that he would have thought. He started thinking back to what he and Keith had together when he was fourteen years old.

Keith had saved him, at least for a while; from the pit he knew he was falling into. Keith had befriended him, loved him. He had protected him from the other students and his own parents. He had given Brian a safe haven away from the nightmare of his own home. He had cared about, treated him with gentleness, kindness. He had introduced him not just to sex, but also to closeness between two people—a concept that Brian had no real idea of until then. They had been friends, brothers, lovers.

Keith had given him the confidence that had allowed him to bull his way through the rest of his life.

Even when Keith had thrown him out, even then, he had done it for his own good.

When he had refused Brian's calls and broken his heart so badly that it would take fifteen years and Justin before he was able—kicking and screaming—to begin to love anyone again the way he had loved Keith.

No—that was wrong.

He didn't love Justin the way he had loved Keith.

Keith had been older, a mentor, a strong shoulder for him to lean on. His family had taken Brian in, almost adopted him as one of their own. He had been an abused child in need then, desperate for someone to tell him that he had value and worth. Keith and his family had given what he needed.

And Keith had loved him. That was the other thing that had been missing in Brian's life. Keith loved him, touched him and kissed him. Keith would hold him and take his hand and put his arm around him in a movie. Keith would let him know that he had value, that his thoughts and ideas mattered Keith was the one who made him understand that being gay was alright, that he wasn't a freak or damn.

Keith had validated him.

If he had never met Keith, Brian knew that he would have likely gone down the road and never found his way back.

He was a likely candidate for suicide back then when the darkness would crowd in and he had no one he could even talk to.

Deb and Mikey were there, yes, but they didn't know how…

Keith knew how to reach him right from the start. Deb learned later.

It was years later, while going through Jack's papers, that he had found the letter from Keith's father countersigned by the head of Allegheny General's legal staff and notarized. It was a warning that the hospital suspected that Mr. Kinney's son was an ongoing victim of child abuse, dating back almost a decade and a half. They had registered this belief with Child Services and should there be any more admissions to any area medical facility, an investigation would be launched.

Brian remembered that time. He remembered the arguments between his parents with his mother telling his father that it had to stop now, Damnit, or there would be Hell to pay.

It had mostly stopped then. Brian only learned a couple of years ago that Keith's father had been the main reason. He had picked up the phone to thank the man and had learned that Dr. White had retired several years before and moved out of state. Not knowing where he had relocated, Brian had let the matter drop.

With Justin the roles had been reversed.

Justin looked up to him as the mentor and tutor now. Now Brian was the adult offering a safe haven and a caring home. Brian was the one who protected Justin from Craig. Brian was the one who paid the tuition, footed the bills.

Brian was the one who had helped after the bashing, feeling bashed himself. He was the father now, with not only Justin but also Gus depending on him.

A memory flashed in his mind of the first year he and Justin were together, when he was still in high school, of telling the boy to study, do his homework, pick up his shit, get up for school.

Then in the second year, after the bashing, of helping Justin with the computer, lending him money for school, running interference with Jennifer…and of being left for Ethan and his heart breaking again, as badly as it did with Keith.

Then this year, after Justin had come back to him stronger, older, more a man than a boy who still wanted to know that Brian would be there as his safety net.

Brian was the strong shoulder now.

Part of him wanted to be able to lean on someone again.

What a mess.

What a Goddamned, fucking mess.

"Would you mind some company?"

Startled, he looked up; he hadn't heard Keith approach over the sound of the swirling water.

He smiled a welcome. "You quit work early. It's only three."

"You impressed everyone today. I knew that you would." Stepping into the water, he took a seat on the far side. They didn't touch. "I wanted to see if you're alright."

Brian almost played dumb by asking him what he meant, but thought it would be a waste of time. "I'm fine. Patty gave me her take on things a little while ago."

"…Are you angry?" Brian hesitated. In fact, he didn't know what he felt at that moment. "Look, I'm almost thirty-five years old. I just want to…I want…I think that we could still be good and I don't want to throw it away."

"Look, Keith…"

"I know, not now, but when you're ready. I won't push you." He gave a small smile. "I told you that when you were fourteen, remember? I waited then, I can wait now…when you're ready, Bri, not before." He added, almost as an afterthought, "No one wants to be alone."

They sat in a companionable silence for a few minutes before Brian shifted and rose to his feet, the warm water still swirling around him waist high.

Thinking he was just getting out, Keith was surprised when Brian put his hand on his chin, raised it and kissed his mouth.

TBC

10/6/03

Title: New Account 4

Author: Simon

Pairing: B/J/OC

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Brian is stranded in California amid temptation.

Warnings: none

Disclaimers: These guys aren't mine, they don't belong to me, worst luck, so don't bother me.

Archive: Moonshadow Tribe and ATP

Feedback: Hell, yes.

New Account

Part Four

They stayed in the Jacuzzi for a while, kissing mostly, and Brian remembered that Keith was the one who had taught him to love it as much as he did. It was an art form with him, a passion, a hobby and a favorite pastime. He was good at it, he was an expert and Brian had been his first and best student.

They kissed, open mouthed and close mouthed. They nuzzled one another's necks and throats. Keith kissed Brian's eyelids and cheeks, behind his ears and the back of his neck.

Their hands began a slow exploration of one another's chests and backs, sliding smoothly in the warm water. The last time that they had done anything like this together they had been youngsters, despite their beliefs to the contrary. It was all new to them—or mostly, at any rate—and they had reveled in the new sensations with one another.

Now they were adults, grown men who knew what they were doing, had become experienced in pleasing both themselves and their partners and this was added to the fact that both of them remembered what had pleased the other fifteen years ago.

Back then they hadn't been nearly as accomplished as they both were now, they hadn't really understood what their bodies were capable of doing and feeling, they had simply known that it had felt right and it had felt good and they didn't want to stop. The fact that they'd had to hide their attraction to one another then, that they couldn't show anything beyond simple friendship and the comradie of teammates made it all the more exciting, all the more delicious.

Keith mouthed and tongued Brian's throat, moving down to his nipples and laughing slightly at the old reaction that he had always looked forward to causing—the gasps and the slight moans.

Latching onto a tit he laughed to himself at the shudder that he felt going through Brian's still slender body—God, he'd kept himself in good shape, he could feel the ripples of the muscles, the taunt skin under his hands.

Even after all the time that had gone by since they'd seen one another, Brian was still one of the most beautiful men he'd ever seen.

There were, he thought idly as he stroked his finger tips across Brian's face, men who were, in fact, more handsome, better built. There were even men who might be more accomplished lovers, but he had never met one who combined the striking looks with the sharp intelligence, who had the toned body and the drive to succeed—and the unbreakable sense of honor that Brian all had in spades. And the fact that he was gay and loved sex as much as Keith did—well, those were icing on the cake.

He was still amazing, still unique and Keith still desired him as much as he had that first time he laid eyes on him as a teenager on the high school field.

Then he had been all tall gangling legs and arms, skinny instead of slender, shyness hiding behind a façade of cool instead of the graceful, confident man he'd become.

Then he had been a good-looking boy, now he was a stunningly handsome man.

Then he had a fierce natural intelligence and insight that he used to protect himself, now he was a sophisticated and educated man who wielded his mind like an effective tool.

Then he had been terrified, frightened that someone would discover that his home life was a Hell of abuse and neglect. Now he was a devoted, if slightly distant father.

Back then he had been desperate for approval, acceptance and to be loved. Now he had—a choice.

Brian pulled slightly away, keeping them still in full body contact, but looking at Keith with an expression on his face that Keith didn't think he'd seen before.

"What? Do you want to stop?"

Brian snorted out a quick laugh. "I was just thinking that it's like riding a bike—there are some things that you don't forget."

"You've been with a lot of men, haven't you?"

Brian looked surprised at the question. He had, sure, but—it was none of Keith's business.

He pulled back about a foot. "Do you care?" His old defenses were back in place. He sensed a criticism and was ready to deflect it.

Keith chose his words. "It only matters because I think I might have had something to do with that."

Brian sat back down on his side of the large tub. "What the fuck are you talking about"?

Another short pause. "I think that you might have become promiscuous because I hurt you. I think you may have used sex to keep people at arms length after I threw you out."

"…I think you've been listening to your shrink wife too much. And how the fuck do you know whether or not I'm promiscuous?"

"Some old friends back in Pittsburgh talked to me so I checked out what they had to say…Hey, Bri, shit, I wasn't criticizing you. I don't care about that. It's just that I was worried about you getting sick or something, that's all. In fact I was glad when you and Justin got back together because it meant that you'd...well, that you'd cut back on that sort of thing. I just didn't want anything to happen to you."

Brian stood up abruptly, obviously annoyed. "I've been in here too long." Keith wondered if he was referring to the Jacuzzi.

He got out, going over to the pool and diving in, swam a couple of laps before climbing out, wrapping a towel around his waist and excusing himself to go change. He walked into the house, his laptop under his arm.

Up in the guest room he stripped off the towel and the bathing suit, taking a quick shower, which also gave him the excuse to run his hands over his body to achieve the release that he hadn't gotten with Keith. Fifteen minutes later he was pulling on a pair of jeans and a black wife beater and picking up his cel to call Justin.

"Hey."

"Hey…is it still snowing?"

"You haven't seen the news? It's still snowing like a bitch here. I'm still stuck at my Mom's and the power is threatening to go out. Molly and I just spent half an hour bringing all the damn logs in from out back for the fireplace in case the electricity goes out and I got a Goddamned splinter."

Brian smiled at the woebegone sound of Justin's voice. "So I shouldn't tell you that I just spent the afternoon by the pool and in the Jacuzzi?"

"God, Brian, fuck you."

"Have you heard from anyone else? I haven't called them yet."

"Michael and Ben went over to Deb's and they're OK and the girl's have Gus at Lindsay's parents house because their furnace died. They said that they're alright there for a day or two. Everyone is OK."

"…I'm sorry that you're stuck there dealing with all of that."

"It's alright…how are you doing? How did the presentation go this morning?"

"Fine, it went well. They all liked it." That was one of the least Brian-like comments Justin had ever heard. What the fuck was going on?

"Brian? Are you alright out there? Is something going on?"

"It's fine. It's just that…I don't know, I just don't want to be here, I guess."

Shit, something was going on. "That CEO, what was his name? Keith? The one you're staying with. Is he an asshole or something?"

"He's…Keith is, we sort of know each other."

Fuck, he knew it. Keith was an old trick or something. Shit. "You know him?"

"We were in high school together."

Yeah, uh-huh, and…? "Were you friends or something? Did you hate each other?"

Christ, he didn't want to do this on the phone, but he had to tell Justin, he needed Justin to know that he didn't want to do this with Keith. He knew Justin had figured out that something was going on and he had to know that he didn't want to do this.

"We were friends. He was captain of the soccer team when I was a freshman."

"Weren't you on the team when you were a freshman?" Michael had told Justin about that when he had found the old yearbooks up in Michael's old bedroom. He hadn't mentioned Keith, though.

"Yes."

"Brian?"

"He was my first boyfriend." Jesus, this was hard. Justin…he didn't want Justin to be hurt by this bullshit.

Holy fuck. "You had a boyfriend in high school?"

OK, take a deep breath. "He was a senior, I was a freshman. He took me under his wing as soon as he realized that I was gay, which was pretty quick, maybe three days after school started. We started seeing each other and then we, we became a couple."

"You were out in high school? Shit, Brian…I thought that you didn't really tell anyone until college or something."

"It was quiet, no one knew. We dated all year until at the very end, like the last week of the school year, someone walked in on us so Keith dropped me to keep the secret. We pretended that it was a one time thing, that I had made a pass at him at a party—I guess the others thought I was drunk or something."

"What a prick." Brian could hear the indignation in Justin's voice—that anyone would dare to dump Brian—or even want to. He smiled at the mental picture.

"No, you don't understand. He did it because I had three years to go in the school after he left. He did it to protect me so I'd have an easier time of it."

"…You mean he pushed you off the fucking cliff? And I'll bet that he didn't tell you what he was doing, right?" Justin was probably shaking his head. "So that's where you learned that."

"Yeah." The kid was too fucking smart.

"…And now he wants you back, is that it?"

"Yeah, he does." Brian could hear the hitch in Justin's voice.

"So what do you want?"

"You."

There was a sound, a note to Justin's voice somewhere between laughter and crying. "Really?"

"Twat…Yes, really."

"…Do you have to stay at his house? Could you move to a hotel or something?" Brian had thought the same thing. "Is he making a pass at you or something?" That Justin defense mechanism was kicking in.

"He tried, I wasn't interested." No reason for Justin to know about the Jacuzzi, it would just upset him.

"Doesn't he know that we're together? I mean, I thought that he knew."

Cut to the chase. "He knows. He thinks that after we, as he put it, 'run our course', he'll be waiting."

The worried voice was back. "…Is that what you think?"

"You know what I think, Justin."

"Tell me anyway."

"…You know."

The disappointment was obvious, even from three thousand miles. "Yeah. I know."

"Justin, come on, you know—don't do this, OK?"

There was some talking in the background on the other end as though Justin was covering the mouthpiece. Then, "Brian? Mom wants me to get the fire started; she thinks the furnace has conked out. I have to go."

"Justin, I'll be home as soon as I can. I'm finished here," They both flashed to the conversation from almost two years ago…'and when I come home it's because I'll be doing exactly what I want to do—coming home to you.'

They understood one another.

"Later."

"Later."

Justin cut the connection and turned to get the fire laid for Jennifer. It was getting colder by the minute in the large room; it was only about twenty outside with the wind blowing.

"Justin? Sweetheart? Is Brian alright?"

"He's stuck in California." His mood was a combination of foul and sad.

"…Isn't it going well? He's there to get some account, isn't he? Are there problems other than the weather?"

Justin was watching the small flames starting to catch on the newspaper and the kindling. "He seems to be doing just fine."

In California Brian was sitting on the guestroom bed when Keith walked in without knocking. "Bri? Look, I think maybe you weren't ready for what happened downstairs—I'm sorry."

Brian didn't answer.

"I won't do anything you don't want—remember? I told you that before. It still stands."

"Keith, I'm hungry. Why don't we get some dinner?"

Whatever Keith expected, that wasn't it. "…Sure, whatever you want. I'll tell Patty to get ready."

"No, let's just go."

"Are we going to clear the air or something?"

"I think so, yeah."

TBC

10/7/03

Title: New Account 5

Author: Simon

Pairing: B/J/OC

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Brian and Keith come to an understanding.

Warnings: none

Disclaimers: These guys aren't mine, they don't belong to me, worst luck, so don't bother me.

Archive: Moonshadow Tribe and ATP

Feedback: Hell, yes.

New Account

Part Five

The restaurant they ended up in as a small Italian place, sort of Mom and Pop. It was dark, lit mostly by candles and fake flicker lights in the sconces. There were velvet paintings of scenes of Genoa and Venice on the walls and wine in straw covered bottles. It was crowded, every table taken, but the woman who seated them knew Keith by name and somehow found them a table in a niche behind some curtains.

If it were any other occasion, it would be charming, romantic.

They ordered the antipasto to start and a carafe of surprisingly decent red wine. The food, Brian was assured, was amazing here.

Sipping his glass of wine, Keith started, "So…?"

Brian absently looked over at the neighboring table as he ate an olive.

"Bri? You wanted to talk about this afternoon, didn't you?"

He turned his head back, facing Keith. "Yes, I think we're past due."

"Fair enough, I'll get right to it, then. Look, you know pretty much what I want—I want us together, but only when you're ready for it and I understand that you're in a relationship right now. It's OK, I know that and I wouldn't do anything to push you out of that. This has to be right for us if it's ever going to work out. I know that, you don't have to worry about it, Bri."

"Jesus—you're serious, aren't you?" He had that look on his face when he couldn't believe when—say—Mikey told him some incredible piece of bullshit. "It's been, what? Fifteen years? You don't know anything about me. You don't know shit about me, Keith."

Smiling, slightly indulgently, Keith just shook his head. "No, Bri, you're wrong about that. I know you better than you probably know yourself…Oh, come on, don't look so pissed. I had you pegged almost at first sight back in Pittsburgh and I still read you like a book."

"Fucking excuse me?"

Keith was about to answer when the waitress appeared at their table, looking at them expectantly. He smiled at the girl, calling her by name and making her blush. Both men were remarkably handsome and the youngster was self conscious to be the object of their attention.

"My usual, Maria. Shrimp in Alfredo sauce over linguini with a house salad on the side. Bri?"

He didn't care. "Um, stuffed shells and a salad." More proof of his discomfort—he was eating carbs without a thought.

The teenager left, returning in seconds with a basket of bread, obviously fresh and warm.

"Do you still watch what you eat? You always were so careful about that sort of thing." Keith took a piece of the bread, smearing it with butter.

"I try to pay attention, yes." Realizing what he had just ordered gave lie to his comment, he sipped the wine again. "You read me like a Goddamned book?"

Keith regarded him calmly. "I understand you, yes. I think I always have and I think that's true because we're so much alike. We always have been. Even when we were in school we connected right from the beginning."

Despite his irritation at Keith's assertion that he was wide opened to him, Brian had to admit, if only to himself, that the chemistry between then had been instant and intense. They had often joked about it—about each of them finding their missing half. The pisser was that it had been true, at least back in high school, anyway.

"We did—fifteen years ago. We've both moved on. I'm with Justin now and I don't see that changing any time soon."

Keith had that smile again. "I know you are and we've been over this. I told you that I wouldn't do anything to break you two up, but if it happens I'll be there to help you pick up the pieces."

"We're not breaking up. We went down that road and we both learn our lesson. You're wasting you time."

Keith didn't dismiss what he'd heard out of hand. He swallowed part pf his salad. "Tell me something—if you and Justin weren't together, if you were free, would you be interested?" He saw Brian hesitate. "The truth, Bri."

"I always tell the truth."

"And?"

This wasn't going the way Brian thought that it would, he had thought that he'd be in charge of the conversation, Goddamnit. Keith was good; he never could have denied that. "I'm not free, so it's not an issue."

Keith laughed out loud, but kindly. "Bri, you always were the master of avoidance. You know as well as I do that if you didn't have someone waiting for you we'd probably still be in the damn Jacuzzi right now."

"Bullshit. You don't know that."

"We'd be wrinkled and happy."

Brian was about to offer a retort when their dinners arrived. Even he had to admit that they smelled fabulous. Fucking Keith was probably right both about the food and the frigging Jacuzzi.

"I regretted what I did to you. I never told you that, but I don't think a week has gone by since I cut you off that I haven't thought of you." He had turned serious and slightly sad. "There were so many fucking times I almost called you—not just from college, but since then. I felt like a complete shit for what I did to you."

You broke my fucking heart, you asshole. "You did what you thought was best for us both at the time. I know that."

"Yes, I did, but that doesn't mean I don't regret it."

Brian started on his meal without tasting it. "So why didn't you ever call?"

"I was afraid. I didn't know what to say to you. I know I'd hurt you badly and I was afraid to talk to you."

"It would have made a difference if you had."

Keith knew that was probably the truth. "I know that and I'm sorry. If I had it to do over again I would have called you, probably from Southern Cal, and told you that I still was in love with you, asked you to make the move to my parents and we would have gone through with the plans we'd made."

"You mean I would have gone to some college near you and we would have lived happily ever after?" It wasn't snide or angry; he was asking a real question.

"Yeah, I think that we would have. I think that we'd still be happy. I'd still have founded my company and you would have still done what you're doing, we'd just be doing those things together. It would have worked."

But I never would have met Justin.

"We talked about is so damn much—it was what we both wanted."

"When we were teenagers. We've grown up now and I'm with Justin."

Keith thought for a moment. "Tell me about him. I want to hear what he's like."

What was Justin like? In words? Shit.

"He's an artist and he's good. He uses a computer now because the bashing damaged his hand but the things he's doing now are exceptional."

"He's smart, isn't he? He'd have to be to keep your interest."

Brian smiled to himself. "He might be smarter than I am but it's more than talent and intelligence—he has passion," Brian actually blushed when he said this. "He fights the battles he thinks need fighting."

Keith was watching him as he answered. "Is he beautiful, Bri?"

A quiet smile. "Yes, Justin is beautiful."

"And you love him?"

"…As much as I can. Probably not as much as he deserves."

"Do you love him as much as you loved me?"

That had been so different, the way he had loved Keith.

It had been fire and hot and passion, all white burning. With Justin it was passion and acceptance, safety and Justin was—Justin was his home.

With Keith, he had ached with love, yearned for him and had never felt deeper pain than when Keith ended it. Even when Justin had come back to the loft smelling of sex with Ethan, even when the two of them had left Babylon together, it hadn't been the same raw pain he'd felt with Keith. It had hurt, it had been terrible—of course it had hurt and he'd bled, but it hadn't been as bad as knowing that Keith didn't want him anymore.

When Keith had gone, he had wanted to die. When Justin left he knew he would live, but without joy.

It was different.

They were different.

"I love him."

Keith regarded him and what he had said. He had watched the play of emotions across Brian's face while he formulated his answer. Yes, he loved the boy, at least for now.

Another thought occurred to Keith, one he would have considered blasphemy at any other time.

Brian was besotted with this boy, that much was obvious—but no one could possibly live up to being the paragon that Justin was being painted as.

Undoubtedly the boy was intelligent and would have to be good looking and well built for Brian to have been attracted in the first place. He probably was talented—in fact he would have to be to get into PIFA—even Keith knew about its rep and the high standards it's students were held to. He would likely have a decent career ahead of him and if he was as good as Brian seemed to think—and Brian would have the knowledge and the experience to be able to judge that—then the boy could work pretty much anywhere he wanted to. An artist was rarely tied to a single location. He might be open to a good job offer somewhere in a couple of years.

And the boy would have had to be strong to have come through the things he had—a serious bashing, an affair with an older man, let alone with someone like Brian. He'd shown the strength of character—or lack thereof, depending how you looked at it—to leave Bri for some kid he'd met at his school, and had then dumped that lover and somehow managed to get Brian to take him back. And Brian was more in love with him that he had been before the breakup, if what he saw in front of him was anything to go by.

A boy—a man—with sort of strength of character would be able to stand on his own, make his own decisions and stay with them, see them through.

Knowing Brian, he had probably told Justin that Keith was interested. He might even have told the boy that Keith had made some kind of a pass at him, that he wanted to get back together and Justin—even if the relationship was a strong one, as it seemed it was—would have to start to have doubts.

It was inevitable.

It was only human.

One of Keith's theories was that it was, in fact, insecurity that made the world go 'round. It was what broke people up, what drove people forward, kept them in bad marriages, in terrible jobs and afraid to make whatever change would make their lives better.

If Justin had been told that Keith was still interested in Brian—rich, handsome, successful Keith who had been Brian's first love and broken his heart, well—shit. The boy would have to start worrying, at least in his own mind.

He'd have to.

And where there were fears there were doubts and where there were doubts there was tension.

Just knowing that someone like Keith was waiting for Brian would have to stroke Bri's ego. It would have to—especially after his current true love had already walked out on him once, raising fears that it could happen again.

And Jesus—Keith loved Brian. Honest to shit he did.

He looked at Bri sitting across from him, waiting for Keith to say something.

Brian—God, he'd become as amazing as Keith knew he would all those years ago. He could have whomever he wanted and Keith knew that at least some part of Bri wanted him. This afternoon in the Jacuzzi had proven that. Oh, sure he'd pulled back. This time. Sure he had and then gone right inside and called his lover to purge his guilt.

But in doing so he had likely scared the Hell out of the boy.

Brian had, unwittingly, set things in motion and now all Keith had to do was wait for it to play out.

It could be a while and he knew that. He was prepared to wait.

It could be another year or two, but the seeds of doubt were planted. All he had to do was wait for them to grow and hold out his hand when Bri needed it.

The boy's pedestal was a high one, Keith knew that—and when he fell it would be a long way down.

Sooner or later it would work out the way he hoped. He was sure of it.

He could wait. He loved Brian, he loved almost everything about him and he could wait.

"Bri, don't worry about it. I know you love Justin and you know I won't do anything to hurt either of you. All I want is what's best for you—you know that. That's all I've ever wanted for you." And what was best for Bri would be what was best for Keith.

Brian was finishing his dinner.

"Justin and I are solid, Keith. You have to understand that."

"I do, now, after talking with you." He leaned forward towards Brian, still separated by the table. "Look, I still want you and Vanguard to handle my account—my business is important to me and I want the best working on it. That doesn't change. And I want you as the contact person simply because you've been here now. Besides, you're the top ad man for the job, regardless of anything else and I know that you understand the operation, but you can handle it from Pittsburgh if you want."

Brian nodded. "That would simplify things for me."

"Good. And I won't push, Bri. I promise you that. OK? I know you and Justin are a couple and, frankly I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize my company for a piece of ass—not even yours. Do we understand each other now?"

Brian was assessing what Keith had just said, trying to get a read on what he meant beyond the words. Though he was likely suspicious, he seemed satisfied with what he saw.

"I think we do."

"Good. Dessert?"

TBC

10/8/03

Title: New Account conclusion

Author: Simon

Pairing: B/J/OC

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Brian and his beaus might have worked it out,

Warnings: none

Disclaimers: These guys aren't mine, they don't belong to me, worst luck, so don't bother me.

Archive: Moonshadow Tribe and ATP

Feedback: Hell, yes.

New Account

Conclusion

"Justin, it was fine. We talked and he's agreed to back off. He knows that we're together and it's not a problem."

"Why the fuck would he just give up after wanting you for like fifteen years or something? It just doesn't make sense."

Yeah, no shit. "Because he knows I'm not interested. Justin, give it a rest. Has the fucking snow stopped yet?"

"Just about but they're still saying that it will be at least a day before they get the place plowed, even the main roads. Everyone is supposed to stay in if they don't have to go out."

"Are you OK? You have heat and food?"

"We're fine. We have enough wood to last at least a week and plenty of stuff in the kitchen. Don't worry about us."

"…If you say so."

"Brian? Are you really alright out there?"

He laughed, but kindly. "Have you even known me when I wasn't?"

Well, yes. "Stupid me, of course."

"Justin? Hold on a second. Yes?" Keith appeared in the doorway, Brian looked over at him to see what he wanted.

"…Bri? Sorry to interrupt, but a friend of mine is headed east as soon as the airports reopen tomorrow and he said that you could hitch a ride on his Lear if you want. He said he could drop you in Pittsburgh."

"That would be great—sure. Thanks." Nodding, Keith left to finish his own call. "I have a ride home with some guy on his jet tomorrow. I'll call you when I know more."

"Hey, that's fabulous. I'll pick you up. Let me know when."

"I will. Later."

"…Later…hey, Brian? Are you sure…?" The dial tone came on the line; he'd already hung up.

"Justin? Is everything alright?" Jennifer knew that, obviously, it wasn't.

"…I think I'm losing Brian."

Jennifer saw the look on her son's face, shattered and closed to tears. He did tend to be dramatic, but still. "…Sweetheart…did he say something?" The bastard.

Justin turned and knelt by the fireplace, putting a couple more logs on the already blazing fire.

"There's this man out there, Keith. He's the CEO of the company Brian went out to deal with, he's the man who gave Vanguard their account." He stopped, using the tongs to place the logs.

"Did Brian say something about this man to make you think that he wants to…"

"At first he just told me that he was the company president, then he told me that Keith is this guy he knew back in high school and then, later he told me that he was Brian's first boyfriend and that they'd been completely in love before they broke up."

Oh, dear Lord, what was Brian up to this time? "But honey, they broke up years ago. You said so yourself. They should be able to work together, especially if this other man is based on the West Coast."

Justin looked up at her; kneeling there he looked like he had when he was still a little kid. "No, you don't understand. Brian told me that this guy still wants him and that he's using the account with Vanguard as a way to keep in contact with Brian. That's why he had to go out there, because Keith wanted to see if they could get back together."

Why, in the name of God, would Brian be stupid enough to tell Justin that, even if it were true? Where was that man's brain? "…Well, does Brian want to renew his relationship with this man?" The asshole.

"No, he called to tell me that this Keith had made a pass at him and that he'd turned it down. He said that he was worried about me and that he wanted to make sure that I was alright."

While he was sticking knives in his back. Christ, Brian.

"Justin, sweetie, you know that Brian loves you and you said that he's coming home as soon as he can." He was looking at the fire. "If he was interested in this other man he wouldn't be calling you, now, would he? He probably needed to touch base with you, that's all. Did he say when he'd be back?"

His eyes still on the flames, Justin answered, "He said that someone had offered him a ride in his jet and that he'll be back as soon as the airports open—tomorrow, I guess. He said that he'd call when he knew for sure."

Jen moved closer, putting her hand on the top of his head, running her fingers through the long hair. Her's used to be that color when she was younger. "Brian loves you, Justin, you know that."

His voice was low. "But what if he slept with him?"

"What if he did? This is Brian you're talking about."

He gave her a dirty look. "Mom, come on, you know what I mean…and I looked Keith up on the Internet—Mom, he's exactly like Brian. They're so alike that they could be fucking brothers. They even almost look alike, except that Keith is blond." He smiled a little. "Brian likes blonds."

She gave him a small smile—at least he was trying. "How are they alike?"

"Keith is tall and handsome and smart. He's successful and he's, he's just—shit he's who Brian should be with, not some dumbass college kid."

There it was. "That's Brian's choice, honey and it seems like he's made his decision."

She was about to leave when he stopped her. "But wouldn't you be happier if Brian was with someone else?"

Well, yes, she probably would be. "I want you to be happy, Justin, and right now that's Brian." She walked up the stairs to her room, closing the door behind her and picked up the phone.

"Debbie? It's Jennifer…We're fine here, are you alright?…Oh, good, I was worried about you…Yes, it's pretty much stopped here, too…I wanted to ask you something…You knew Brian when he was in high school, didn't you?…I thought so. Do you remember him ever dating a boy back then named Keith?…Keith White, I think…You do? What do you know about it?…It was pretty serious and then they broke up?…And that was when Brian closed down emotionally…I see…So he might have really loved this other boy, this Keith. I see…Well, yes, I guess that he would have been an escape from his family for Brian and then to lose that…It seems that he's a client of Brian's now and that's who Brian is seeing out in California…Of course….Yes, He called Justin just a little while ago. He said something about maybe getting back tomorrow if the airports are open then…Yes, we will. Thank you…Be safe."

Debbie had known the story.

Brian had sobbed it out to her one night that summer when he couldn't understand why Keith had shut him out so completely. They had sat on her old couch, her arms around him while he cried and swore that one way or another, he'd get Keith back. After more than two hours of tears and unanswerable questions, Brian had simply stopped—seemingly having come to some kind of decision. He had taken a deep breath and straightened himself up. Then he washed his face, thanked her, apologized for being a bother and walked home. That was the last display of emotion she ever saw from Brian. From that evening on his walls were in place and for fifteen years nothing and no one—until Justin—got through.

And now this man, this Keith wanted him back and was willing to spend millions of advertising dollars to make sure that he and Brian would have to be in contact.

My poor Justin.

He's still a baby.

He may be a college student and he may have had lovers and been attacked so badly that he almost died, but part of him is still so straightforward and open that if he were to lose Brian after all they've been through—after Justin realized how much he loves that son of a bitch—he'd end up with his sweet heart broken as badly as Brian's was all those years ago.

That night Jenn went down to the living room about one in the morning to make sure that the screen was in front if the fire, worried about sparks.

Justin was there, awake, drawing by firelight. He glanced at her when he heard her walk across the room. He was drawing a picture of Brian, which was no surprise, but this one was different than the others. In this sketch was a younger Brian, as he would likely have looked as a teenager. The features were more open, less guarded. He looked—softer, less wary, less ready to deflect pain than the modern Brian appeared. He looked, well, he looked nicer.

"I love him, Mom."

"I know you do."

"You still don't like him do you?"

No, not really. "There are things about him that I like very much. The way he helped you after you were hurt, the way he takes care of Gus, I admire his honesty and how he is always there for his friends."

He smiled. "Mom, you're so full of shit."

"OK. I also think he's too old for you and that you may end up hurt." She softened her voice and her expression. "I do believe he loves you, though." She kissed him on the cheek. "Don't stay up all night."

The call came in to Justin's cel after lunch. The snow had stopped completely during the night and the day was bright and clear. The plows were out and he and Molly had shoveled off the walk and the driveway. The jeep was dug out.

"Justin? I'm at the airport. We're about to leave. I should be in Pittsburgh by around seven tonight. Can you meet me or should I get a cab?"

"I think I can get you, just tell me the terminal and all of that." Brian gave him the information; the call was a short one. He couldn't get any emotional reading at all.

Shit.

He drove the jeep to the terminal for private planes, it was smaller than the main buildings and the cars in the parking lot were Landrovers, Beemers and Mercedes and the like. He parked close to the door; there weren't many planes today.

Walking inside he looked around, asking someone if the Microsoft jet was there yet.

Yes, it was, it was just taxiing in now, it would only be a couple of minutes.

Looking out the windows, he saw Brian standing in the door of the small plane. He was carrying his suit bag and leather duffle he'd taken with him. He stopped, so that he could turn and thank the man who had given him the ride home, shaking his hand then walking down the half dozen steps to the frozen ground. The plane's door closed behind him and started away to continue up to Boston.

"Justin." He spotted the young man almost immediately and his smile was genuine, if tired. Putting his luggage on a counter, he held his arms open for Justin to walk into.

Both the embrace and the kiss heartfelt for both of them, Justin clinging to Brian's neck, pressing himself as close as he could and holding on. He could feel the stiffness in Brian's back and in the way he held himself.

Shit. He was—he was holding himself together with his Goddamned willpower again. He was behind all his fucking walls, just like he used to be.

Gently removing Justin's arms from around himself, he said quietly so that just they could hear, "Let's go home." Obviously exhausted by the last few days, all Brian wanted was dinner and to sleep in his own bed—preferably with Justin.

The ride back to the loft was slow, the roads slippery and not all lanes were opened as they tried to get back to the city proper. They didn't talk much beyond pleasantries, something Brian wasn't big on in the best of circumstances.

"Is your mother alright if you're not there or do you want me to drop you off at her place?"

"…The power came back on this afternoon, she's fine. I mean unless you'd rather be alone."

"No. I think that…" He trailed off.

Shit, this is it, this is where he tells me that he's decided to get back together with fucking Keith and pack up the loft and live in Goddamned California. "What?"

"Nothing, I'm just tired. There probably isn't any food at the loft, is there?"

"Not really, no."

"We can get something."

"I can go out when we get back if you're tired. I don't mind."

"Either way."

They arrived back at the old warehouse, let themselves in. It was chilly in the loft. The power had been off for a couple of days with the storm and had just come back on a little while ago, as far as they could tell. The clocks were all blinking, the few things in the fridge ruined. The hot water was barely tepid.

Brian looked like he was about to just say 'fuck it' and head out to the nearest hotel before Justin stopped him.

"It's OK, I'll take care of it."

"Fuck that." Brian dug a couple of space heaters out of a closet and called the Chinese place for dinner. He carried his bags up to the bedroom and sorted things into laundry and dry cleaning then rummaged to see what he could find to drink. He came up with a half bottle of Beam.

They seemed to be just about out of that, too.

Fuck.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"Yeah. I am, but not right now. Give me a few minutes, OK?"

Brian went back upstairs to use the bathroom, shutting the door behind him as Justin imagined the hickeys he probably had on his chest and shoulders.

Goddamnit.

He was sitting on the couch, a cashmere thrown around him against the cold when Brian finally can back, bottle and glass in hand and sat beside him.

"Did you fuck him or did he fuck you?" He was sitting stiffly, waiting to hear what had happened, just how bad it was.

"No one fucked."

Justin shook his head and smiled slightly in sarcastic disbelief. "Right."

"That's the truth."

"Why didn't you?"

"I told you on the phone—I want you."

Justin just looked out the window. "Come on, Brian, cut the shit and just tell me, OK?"

Brian leaned back against the arm of the couch, evidently deciding how much of the story to tell. "I did tell you most of it. Keith and I met in high school, we were a couple my freshman year then we broke up—OK he dumped me. About two months ago he showed up in my office as a new client and made it clear that he wanted to get back together…"

"And you didn't tell me."

"What would have been the point? I wasn't interested and you would have been upset about nothing." Justin exhaled in exasperation but didn't say anything. "So Keith managed to have Vance fly me out there to baby-sit the account this week—he made a pass at me which I turned down. I still have the account and will run it from here. That's about it."

"He made a pass at you?"

"Sure he did, so fucking what? It's not like it's the first time some guy has hit on me."

"And nothing happened?"

"Nothing happened."

"And you don't even have to go out there anymore?"

"Probably not.

"Really?"

"Jesus, you are such a fucking twat sometimes. What did I just say?"

Justin looked at him, trying to decide how much Brian was really telling him. He wouldn't out and out lie, no, probably not—but he didn't always tell everything he knew. He was an expert at that. He made his decision.

The smile started, he had nothing to worry about. Brian had come home to him, just like he said that he would. He leaned the scant distance between them, gently kissing Brian's mouth, his cheeks, his forehead and back to his mouth. His tongue stroked across the full lips, gaining entrance, and meeting its counterpart in warmth and welcome.

They moved up to the bed, wanting the welcome home to be a real one, wanting to reconnect and needing to know that they were alright after the threat.

Later, around four in the morning with the loft warm and the two men sated, Brian was up reading over some reports from work he'd neglected while in California. Justin slept peacefully up in their bed, but Brian—adjusted to West Coat time was awake.

The phone rang; he got it on the first ring.

"It's four in the morning, what the fuck do you want?"

"I couldn't sleep, Bri. I just wanted to know that you made it back safely—you're OK?"

"I'm fine, Keith." Up on the bed Justin listened to half of the conversation.

"And Justin is alright?"

"He's fine, too. He's sleeping." It wasn't the subtlest of hints.

"Good. That's good. I guess you two are going to be together for a while."

"…Keith, why did you call?"

"I just wanted…I don't know—I guess I just wanted to talk to you."

"We talked for four days, we said everything we had to say."

There was a silence so long from Keith that Brian wondered if he was still there. Finally, "Do you mind if I call you now and then? I'd like us to at least be friends if that's OK with you."

Shit.

"Call me at my office, Keith, OK? If you want to talk to me, call me there."

"…Yeah, thanks, Bri. I will, I won't bother you at home—I know that would be awkward for you. Yeah, great—I'll call you at Vanguard."

"It's late. I have to get up for work in a couple of hours."

"Yeah, right, I know, get some sleep. Thanks, Bri—really, I just want us to be friends like we were." There was a self-conscious laugh. "Well, maybe not like that, but friends. Great. G'night, Bri."

The connected was broken.

Goddamnit, what a pain in the ass.

Yeah, sure the bonus was a nice one—over a hundred thousand just for him personally, but Brian had a feeling that it was going to be pretty Goddamn fucking expensive money.

Shit.

He turned out the reading lamp, got up and went to the bed, climbing in carefully so he wouldn't wake Justin. It was an almost full moon, giving enough light to see easily. Looking at the face on the other pillow he saw the blue eyes staring at him before they closed and Justin rolled over away from him, out of reach.

The End

10/9/03

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