Author's Notes: at last! my comp has been fixed and my internet is working! and i have returned! three great things i tell ya. anyways, i don't think i have much to say, except that i hope that everyone has enjoyed this fic thus far! this isn't the last chapter, but the end is fast approaching. ::sniff:: i'm still working on editting, so pleez look forward to that. feedback (a.k.a. reviews) arewelcomed! thanx (as always) to ladybattousai and samuraiduck.
Disclaimer: ahaha...i forgot to put this in the past two chappies. i guess i got so excited that i forgot... haha. well, here it is, i don't own the original characters or plots, but this fic is my creation...yay.
chap. 16 - aftermath
Something twittered and tingled about on his skin, and he felt his eyes flutter in reaction, waking from moments of unconsciousness. Yahiko heard birds sing and felt sunlight stream in on his face. He squinted, blocking the sun with his arm, but recoiled as he grasped it in pain. A tight sling was wound about it, and he massaged it before turning to the other person in the room.
"So how bad is it?" he asked in a husky voice. He felt like he had not been this awake in weeks.
Megumi turned around and looked in surprise at the boy before smiling warmly, "Not too bad. You only have a broken arm and I do believe you suffered a slight concussion, maybe bumps and bruises here and there, but other than that, I think you'll be up and about soon," she paused before adding, "Now lie back and rest more, would you? I'll be back later to check up on you."
She left the room in a hurry, and Yahiko felt his mind clear slowly as he leaned back onto his futon.
Not me, I meant everyone else...
Yahiko remembered when Kenshin left both him and Misao to deal with the guards. They had been doing well for the first few minutes, but then a heavy sleet of rain had begun to fall, and it all seemed to dampen, going downhill from there with that coming rain. After a while of struggling, Aoshi showed up out of nowhere and Yahiko vividly remembered anger flaring in his eyes as the former captain killed every last one of the guards. But Yahiko did not see much of Aoshi's battle, for he knew that he had passed out long before then.
He sighed tiredly, looking around the room, knowing that everyone still remained in the Aoiya. No one had left Kyoto yet.
Yahiko yawned. Maybe he needed more sleep than he thought. How long he had been sleeping before, he did not know. But he would have to wait before he found out about everyone else. About Kenshin or Kaoru or Wolf or Sano or Misao or Aoshi...
Megumi felt tired beyond all beliefs. Day in, day out, night after night, she treated each person as much as she could. The duty of a doctor never slept.
She tiptoed to Misao's room, quietly slipping open the fusuma to find Misao sound asleep, with a hovering Aoshi struggling to stay awake by her side. Megumi smiled - when Misao had fainted from exhaustion after battling so many guards, Aoshi had dutifully carried her to the Aoiya. And remained by her side the whole night, holding her in his arms as they both slept that night.
Megumi did not want to disturb their slumber, and although Misao's injuries were more severe than Yahiko's - a broken leg and a few broken ribs - she knew she could tend to them later.
She walked down the hallway and arrived at Kaoru's room. Kaoru and the baby. Megumi felt a pang of panic return to her...the same blow that she felt grasp her the night of that fight. Both the baby and Kaoru had barely made it through. Recollecting the memory, Megumi remembered Kaoru going into a state of shock before passing out, her heart beat stopping for a few painful seconds, the strain of childbirth almost too much to bear for her weak body. But Megumi acted on her toes, and got her heart pumping again...Kaoru had been lucky.
Now painfully weak, Kaoru had remained bedridden and in a deep sleep for more than a week now. Megumi felt sadness rush at her in a curling wave; it had been a week, that long, since the night of that fight.
The baby would live, although Megumi knew that he would not be the most healthy in the first few months. She knew that she would have to keep a close eye on him for awhile, and with some time and perseverance, he would make it through. The baby remained unnamed, as Kaoru had not the consciousness to name him, and Kenshin...Megumi sighed at thinking of Ken-san.
Megumi treated Ken-san in every which way physically....but in his mind, in his state of being, she could not help. She could only go so far as to obtain a full recovery. A full recovery, Megumi knew, Kenshin would never have.
Positioned not far from an open window, Kenshin sat. Oh, he was there physically, his health stable for the time being, even under all the pressure it was put under. But Kenshin knew not where his mind was, for he let it wander about in the intangible space that he knew nothing of. There he often sat, dwelling upon old memories of the bloody war preceding the Meiji Era. Many times he thought of Kaoru...but mostly of Tomoe.
Kenshin could easily recall that night when he thought he saw Tomoe. But he remembered what had happened...Kenshin remembered blinking the tears of water and salt out of his eyes, and seeing Wolf standing there defiantly. The voice he had heard, the voice that he had almost mistaken for Tomoe's...was Kaoru's.
When Kenshin had seen Wolf standing there, defending the man he hated most, Kenshin knew that he could not kill him. For even a boy had more mercy than he...a boy with intentions far greater than show mercy on the man that had put him through so much. Kenshin remembered the disgusting slime that he felt his hands were seemingly, suddenly covered in, and he could not wash the feeling off, the feeling of grime, of filth, of unworthiness... So much he felt at once then...
It occurred to him that his mind had gone into a state of shock...and this was the aftermath.
But how could he face Kaoru again? Guilt plagued upon him, and he felt the shame in knowing that Kaoru was not the only woman he had ever been with. She deserved to know...Kenshin had every intention of telling her when she awoken. His wife had the right to know of his past.
Thought after thought swarming his mind as time would allow. The Aoiya was so quiet now...the peaceful setting almost mocking Kenshin, the trees creaking with laughter for him as he allowed himself to wallow about in his own grudgingly despairing thoughts. One by one, Kenshin thought of each person in his life...and came around to thinking about Sano again...
How long ago had that been...?
Kenshin stood in the disappearing clouds of the long-gone storm, his feet planted sturdily on the wooden planks of the entrance to the Aoiya. The storm had finally lifted, and little by little, color was returning to Japan, although the water still remained. But Kenshin did not feel this relieving color within him...inside he remained grey.
His thoughts were interrupted by muffled footsteps from behind him, and Kenshin glanced back to find Sano standing there, a solemn expression pasted on his face, and a bag made of sturdy material slung over his shoulder.
"Yo Kenshin," Sano greeted Kenshin, and slowly moved next to where Kenshin was standing, his eyes tracing the Kenshin's gaze, watching the clouds move with him.
"What's wrong, Sano?" Kenshin asked. The uncomfortable silence signaled everything to Kenshin.
Sanosuke's lips formed a straight line in a grim expression as he faced Kenshin. It was then Kenshin realized how tired Sano looked.
"I'm not going to lie or anything Kenshin," Sano started, "I'll just get straight to the point."
Kenshin nodded.
"I got word that I'm wanted as a criminal now. What they've got on me, I don't really know. All I know is that I can't put any of you guys in danger, especially with the police and what-not. So I'm off," Sano sighed, "Somewhere where it'll be hard to track me, ya know? I'm thinkin' China. Always wanted to see the place...maybe it'll..." Sano trailed off.
Kenshin still did not speak.
Sano continued heavily in a husky voice, "Kenshin...I really doubt I'll be coming back, so...well...China's gonna be nothin' compared to you guys, and I'm not runnin' off 'cuz of all of you...I..."
"What about Megumi? Have you said good-bye to her?" Kenshin interrupted, turning to Sanosuke with a questioning glance.
The fighter paused as he stared down at the ground, seemingly fighting an inner battle, "...No...I haven't. I think it'll be easier this way though...If she asks where I've gone Kenshin...Tell her...tell her...."
Sano could not find the words, and Kenshin made no move to supply them. He merely nodded as he whispered quietly, "I understand Sano. Sagara Sanosuke...thank you for everything you've done for us, and good-bye. Stay safe."
Sanosuke shook his head with a stubborn bitter sweet smile on his face, "No Kenshin...I should say thanks."
Sano turned his back, the Aku symbol twisting and turning in the breeze, his voice carrying on that wind in a hushed voice, "Arigato...gozaimasu."
Kenshin watched Sanosuke disappear on the horizon...Watched until the dully bright light blinded out the Chinese symbol, erasing it into the plains, forevermore...
Kenshin pulled himself out of the disintegrating memory. Lately, all that he ever thought about were replaying memories in his head, reenacting as though it were happening all over again. He felt that he had no way to start or stop them...they came automatically into his thoughts, interfering with his life and mind.
More than not, he was thinking of Tomoe, and the sweet sorrow that tugged at his heart at any memory of her. He often wondered why he had seen Tomoe in Wolf's place, guarding Gensou. But as Kenshin thought about it, he remembered. Wolf Yukishiro.
Kenshin never stayed in one place, and wandered about the Aoiya. He was tempted to wander across Japan once again, but many things tied him to Aoiya and Kyoto. He finally found himself settled in his room once more, and he turned around to the sudden sound of the fusuma sliding on its rail. Wolf timidly entered the room, and walked cautiously towards Kenshin, slowly setting himself down next to the redhead.
There was a moment's pause before Kenshin said monotonously, "Hello, Wolf."
Wolf flinched, and kept his head down, his eyes set on the wooden boards of the floor, not responding.
Kenshin did not know what Wolf wanted, but he knew there was a reason for Wolf's coming, so he patiently and softly muttered, "Wolf...how was it you were of importance to Gensou? Why did he need you so badly? You were running from him and his men the first time we met you, weren't you? But how does this all fit together...?"
Wolf sighed before deciding to answer the long-belated question, "I's...Back then, my father was taken in by the Choshu Clan, 'cuz they's found him on a beach's shore...or thas' what they tell me. Anyways...my father met me mum, and Shouri, then me was born. My mum died of childbirth, I's never knew her, and I never really knew my father either. Well, Gensou so happened to have been the one who brought my father in, and he made it seem like we were indebted to 'im. Tha' it was my fault that my mum died...and ya know... But...I tink somewhere 'long the way I discovered tha' sumthin' bad was gonn' happen, I tink I learned that Gensou was stirrin' up somethin' not-so-good. So I ended up stealin' his plans and hidin' 'em. Problem was, he found out. He ended up threatenin' me with everythin' he had, 'specially blamin' mah whole family's death on me. Shouri...mum....father....An' I's almost believed 'im. But in the end, I's drove myself to burn the whole document altogether, so I's wouldn't end up givin' it to 'im. He knew he couldn't kill me, 'cuz I's the only person who knew their whereabouts. So, he threatened torture...an' I's ran away...ended up with you guys...an'....ya.....But I guess all this has been for nothin', 'cuz Gensou's plans are gone, an' he's been searchin' for nothin'." Wolf looked as if he were going to break down, and he continued to stare intently at his hands.
"Wolf...Even though I can't say for certain, I'm pretty sure Gensou's plans were somewhat related to Shishio's. He probably meant to stir trouble with the government, and end up 'reforming' Japan in some way....whether his plans were for the better or worse, I guess we'll never know. But maybe... Gensou still remains alive, somewhere out there. It's now his choice to live or die. To reform or not...I have a feeling that because he will never again find those documents you burned, he may go out there and do something for the better, perhaps join the government itself," Kenshin said lengthily.
After awhile, Kenshin tiringly commented, "All this time Wolf...and we still do not know much about you, that we do not."
Kenshin paused before continuing, "I know there are strong reasons for your decision to protect Gensou, and there is no need to share those reasons if you do not wish to do so, those memories can stay locked within you for as long as you may allow. There are secrets that you may keep, secrets you may tell. But Wolf, let me tell you a secret that I hold within me. When you shielded Gensou with your body, I did not see you. I saw a woman I loved, and still love, standing in your place, her eyes begging me not to commit anything I would regret. Her name was Tomoe. And I killed her with my own hands. Tomoe Yukishiro."
Wolf's ears pricked up at the mention of Tomoe's name, and he remained quiet for a heartbeat before whispering softly, "I knew Tomoe-sama."
Kenshin's eyes widened in surprise as he turned, puzzled, to face Wolf.
Wolf sighed, and spoke in a small, intimidated voice, "Tomoe-sama was my aunt. My last name's Yukishiro. I's never knew my mum, but I's always knew that her family name's Yukishiro. After her death, my dad wanted some reminder of her, and gave both me 'nd my brother her name. I's think that Tomoe-sama was my mum's sister."
Kenshin was shocked to discover this new piece of information, and could only listen as Wolf continued. But somehow, although the boy's voice was full of fear, it seemed that his grammar grew stronger and stronger, fewer and fewer mistakes noticeable, and Kenshin realized that Wolf was growing far faster than he would have ever imagined, both in mind and body.
"Maybe...maybe you's saw Tomoe-sama...'cuz I's related to her. I don't know." Wolf finished with hesitation, and a silence clung in the air.
"I'm sorry Wolf."
Wolf grew puzzled at Kenshin's statement, and replied, "Why Ken-sama?"
Kenshin's face morphed into one of sorrow, and his voice was shaky as he resonded, "Because...I killed your aunt. I killed my wife. I killed apart of me. Everywhere I turn, I seem to be affecting another human being, and I can't escape this infectious disease, that I can't. That is why I am sorry. Miss Kaoru will learn of my sins, and I do plan to tell her. But I cannot expect even a mere sign of acceptance, and I begin to wonder where my life will turn. I know who I am now, Wolf, and that is what scares me the most, knowing."
The sun suddenly seemed to sink dangerously fast into the horizon, cloaking both boy and man in the shadows, and leaving them with contemplating thoughts.
Wolf fidgeted under the covers of his futon, struggling to fall asleep and give in to the calming darkness. But sleep never came to claim him, for his mind was plagued with dozens of other thoughts that swarmed his head in one foul sweep.
Back during the fight, Wolf was shivering violently, not from the cold atmosphere, but from fear and fright. He had trembled with such sheer power that he had felt that he would never again be able to feel warmth or happiness. When he had stood up in defense for Gensou, he didn't know what he was thinking...his body moved without him knowing so. But what he did know, what he was sure of, was that not even Gensou deserved to die, and especially not by Ken-sama's hands. Wolf did not know what Kenshin had become that night, but he knew that it was not normal, and he felt that he had to do something...he just never knew what.
But with the rain pounding on his body and wetting him to the core, he stood there and put together what little he could. And as Kenshin turned to face him, Wolf thought, for a split second, that Kenshin would not stop, and paralyzing fear ripped through him.
That was when he remembered every part of his life that had importance. He knew little of his mother, and never caught glance of his father, who took much part in assisting the Japanese. Although his father was an American, he was willing to give whatever help he could to Japan because of their hospitality towards him when he lay stranded on their shores after falling from his own bombed ship. His father had died valiently on Japanese soil attempting to defend a fort. Wolf had a close relationship with his brother, Shouri, and nothing shattered him more than his death...
All this ran through his mind, before he realized that Kenshin had lowered his weapon, his Sakabato; the terrifying, gripping deathglare softening.
Wolf could no longer recall what had happened after that moment. To him, time had froze, and had begun back at the Aoiya all over again. But this time, everyone was more than well aware that a life-turning moment had occurred.
Where his life would go from here, Wolf knew not, and he had to find every which way to put together his life again. What could he do? More importantly, what did he want to do? All questions, that to him, remained unanswered from this point.
He steadily grew weary from thinking, and his mind became drowsy with such thoughts as the dream world came to whisk him away to unknown places.
Kenshin breathed in the fresh outdoor air as he trotted to the awaiting carriage. Kaoru, the baby, and Megumi had already left in the preceeding carriage, already on their way to the Osaka docks. After a couple days of waiting, Kaoru had awoken from her slumber, and within a week or so, she had gained enough strength to manage the journey home. And so there, at the Osaka docks, they would find the boat that would take them back to Tokyo, their home, the home that they had been away from for so long. After Kenshin, Yahiko and Wolf followed suit, unenthusiastically plopping themselves down onto the quite uncomfortable seats.
Aoshi and Misao waved from outside the Aoiya, deciding that they would remain in Kyoto, along with the few remaints of the Oniwa Banshu.
The carriage ride, the ship ride, and the long walk home were filled with uneasy silence, a silence of dreary thoughts and much of pain and anguish. Although the gripping battle was long but done...there were still knots that needed to be untied.
No one was sure where life would go from here, where the road would lead. They were following an uncharted path that could quite possibly lead to the edge of the earth. And even from a distance, Aoshi and Misao knew that as well.