Summary: The ethics and morals of the evil creature Killer. {Finally Chapter 8}

Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki. I wish but I don't. I only claim the plot line and the characters that do not appear in the Anime or manga of this. Origato.

May contain: offensive language, violence, lesbian incest, and weird old men.

Does contain: odd characters and sequences.

Rated: R for excessive violence, bad language, romance, and little evil children.

AN: Yep, I'm back. Now here's my problem: I usually theme my stories with some sort of moral lesson behind it. Funny thing is.....I couldn't think of one for Yume until like......three in the morning on a water break. Then I forgot and remembered like......three minutes ago. So....heehee. If you can guess it after seven chapters out of my proposed 15, I suck as a writer.

Chapter 8:

The Demon Within

Demon Codex (Hikara-maki entry)

It is within us to never forgive, forget, or love. It was bred to be perfect, our emotions obsolete. We called this thing a monster, but the truth is......we created it. And we will bring it down, even if it takes the rest of eternity. And it will never forgive, forget, or love. It shows no emotion except hate, and every fiber of its being is soaked in the blood of innocents. It is the blood drinker, the world destroyer. The only daughter of Susano-o, it is perfect.

----------nyan nyan

Genjo Sanzo had taken the precaution of carrying extra paper fans, and keeping them near him at all times, even while sleeping. This had proved to be a good idea. Killer ran past, screaming at the top of her lungs on how no hot water was going to touch her. Sanzo's hand darted out, catching the young creature by her hair. He lifted her up and she whimpered as she curled into a tiny ball. "Why did you just disturb my peaceful rest?"

Killer whimpered. "Hakkai-sama wants to put Killer in hot water!"

Sanzo whacked her with a paper fan. "Yes! You reek of blood and gods-know what else you roll in! Get in the hot water, scrub, and don't come out until you are nice and shiny with cleanliness!!!! GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He dropped her and gave her a nudge with his foot towards Hakkai and her bath.

Killer snarled as Hakkai gently poured hot water over her head. "Baka houshi!"

Sanzo chucked a fan with deadly accuracy. "I heard that!"

------Heaven

Kanzeon cackled to herself. "Oh what a play!" She snapped shut the Demon Codex (10,000 pages of light reading) and turned to a new companion. "Well Goddess? Think you can do something?"

The new goddess stepped out from the shadows, her long snow white hair and ink black eyes holding mischief in them as she gave a small smile, letting her technological appearance unnerve the God/Goddess of Mercy. "Oh I can do something alright. I'll speed up this little one's growth. That should make the play more.....interesting." She raised one bare hand, splaying her fingers as they began to spark and electrify with brilliant blue light. "I'll make this a.....shocking day for her." She let the electricity magnify as she aimed it at the image of Killer drying herself off with a massive towel. "Let the future come to the past, grow up Killer!"

------Earth (Bathroom)

Killer felt a pang in her head and she closed her eyes to pay attention. In her mind, she saw a teenage girl with long white hair and black eyes, metal objects randomly embedded in her skinny body. She wore a skintight white and blue sleeveless shirt and a pair of skintight short blue shorts with tight knee-high blue boots. She held out her pale white hands to Killer and gave a ghostly smile. Grow up Killer and feel the emotions you've kept locked up so far down inside. Let me jump start your passions from the future!!!!!

Killer gasped in the bathroom as she acutely realized a few things: 1)She was no longer in the bath. 2) The towel she had wrapped around herself was only reaching the bottom of her butt. 3) She had......breasts. "NANE?!?!?!?!?!?" Killer grabbed the bottom and top of her towel as she screamed at the top of her lungs.

Sanzo noticed the change of pitch in Killer's usual high-frequency scream. It had...mellowed out a bit....to a melodious pitch. He slowly got up and saw a rather unexpected sight: a grown up Killer with large breasts and a lithe body, her purple eyes and red hair having created the effect of a mysterious untouchable woman. The fact that she had no clothes on other than a towel, a very short towel, almost made Sanzo want to turn and ask Goyjo where he had put his new girl's clothes. Almost. See, this was Killer. And Sanzo felt responsible for Killer (partially because Goyjo, the father, was not being very responsible, and partially because Killer was like a smaller female version of Goku. Was.) and now she was in a crisis of sorts. "What the hell?!?!?!"

Killer grabbed him by the collar of his robe and pulled his face down about two inches to her upturned face. "Do I look different to you?"

"The breasts and the height sort of did it for me."

"Anything else I should know?"

"You sound......less shrill. Say something."

"Minareta machi sarigenaku arukeba...tashikani kono me niwa utsuru. Yuugre ni natte susumu hitonamini umorete obieteru kokoro. Raison d'etre, sonna fuuni. Raison d'etre, onaji youni. Waratte shizunde nagareru nowa naze? Kagi o shagashiterunda. Zutto sagashiterunda. Dokomade mienai sono DOOR no kagi wa. {As I walk all over the town that I'm used to seeing...I can really see with these eyes. A scared heart buried in the sea of people walking in the twilight. Raison d'etre (reason for being), just like that. Raison d'etre (reason for being), in the same way. Why do we laugh, cry, and keep floating? I'm looking for a key. I've been looking all this time. How far will that key to that door stay hidden?}"

"Pretty. Oy. Goyjo. Does this girl look familiar?" Sanzo perked a brow and pointed at Killer.

Goyjo rubbed his head. "Nope. Should she? But hey lovely."

Killer's mouth hung open. "I knew you were a perv......but this takes the cake. It's me. Killer. Remember me? Sporadic love-child that just so happens to be a freak of bloody nature? Nah? Enjoys beating up the stupid monkey in all forms?"

Goku poked his head out from behind Goyjo. "Wow. You're a pretty lady. What happened to all your clothes?"

Killer blushed and her eyes grew wide. "Wait a sec......I'm pretty?!?!?!"

Sanzo sighed. "Go look in a mirror."

Killer raced off, her red hair flowing out behind her. As she hit the bathroom, Sanzo turned his head so he could see better, and all he managed to see was Killer.....fainting.

Sanzo also happened to be the first one there with a surefire remedy: freezing cold water.

Killer woke up with a start. "Freezing cold. Freezing cold."

Goyjo snickered. "I don't suppose you follow your mother on the whole voice thing?"

Killer sighed prettily. "Futari ga kitto daeru yona maho o kakaete.

Ryote o sotto kasanete hora hohoemu kara.

Honto no kimochi kizukanai furi shite...

Totsuzen futari...

...Koi ni ochita.

Dakishimetai noni."

{Translation:

Casting a spell that will make sure they meet.

They place their hands atop one another's and see, they smile.

Pretending not to realize their true feelings...

And the two suddenly...

....Fall in love.

I want to embrace only you.}

Goyjo's mouth hung slack-jawed. "Well. At least we have a new source of income."

Killer stuck her tongue out at him, managing in some odd way to look sexy and childish. "Haha. I'm very amused. Not."

Hakkai stroked Hakuuryu. "The question is.....why did you change yourself into your older form?"

Killer went wide eyed. "I didn't! I was just drying off and someone started talking to me about how I needed to grow up! Some white haired teenage girl.....and the bitch electrocuted me!"

Sanzo smacked her with the fan. "Watch your language."

Killer rolled her eyes. "Not my fault. Comes with it I guess Sanzo-kun."

Goyjo hit his forehead. "You can't run around calling Sanzo Sanzo-kun. For one, it's disrespectful. For two, in that gorgeous body, people might start thinking you're our whore or something."

Hakkai backed away from Goyjo as he noticed Killer's face begin twitching. "Mah mah. Calm down Killer. He didn't mean it."

Goyjo shook his head. "Actually, I did."

Killer tackled him, claws and fangs growing when she punched him straight in the face. "I am not a whore!"

Goyjo noted the danger (ironically, the daughter was trying to kill the father, instead of the reverse) and did the first thing that came to his womanizing mind: he ripped off her towel.

Sanzo looked the other way (hehe poor virgin) as Killer's teenage voluptuous body was revealed. "We definitely need to find you something to wear."

Killer went wide-eyed and screamed the traditional violated female-in-towel scream. And then did a frantic arm movement to hide her breasts and her nether regions. "ADA!!!"

Goyjo crept out of the front door of their rented living space.

Hakkai shook his head. "Now let's see....who's clothes are you more capable of fitting?"

Goku laughed. "Not Goyjo's or mine, that's for sure!"

Killer rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him. "Fuck that monkey."

Sanzo thwapped her with the fan. "What did I tell you about such unladylike language?"

Killer laughed nervously. "Don't do it?"

Sanzo cracked his knuckles. "Damn right."

"But you have bad language too Sanzo-kun."

Sanzo whacked her again. "I'm not a lady."

Goku cracked out laughing. "Sanzo a lady....That's funny!"

Sanzo whacked Goku and Killer. "URUSAI!"

Hakkai smiled. "Mah mah. Play nice okay?"

-----Three hours, shop district

Killer had stolen one of Sanzo's robes, turning it inside out in the process. Sadly, she had stolen the one Sanzo was currently wearing. In her frustration at the itchiness of the robe, she had gone out on her own to find herself some decent clothing. The current shop she was in contained: one fat smelly shopkeeper, and a really cute blue haired punk guy telling the shopkeeper how everything he sold was crap. Killer had cracked out laughing at this point, and said really cute guy took it upon himself to escort Killer around to all the good shops.

"Nah, Miss Yume, why are we still here?" The cute punk guy chewed on a blade of grass, his lone fang earring accenting his strong features.

Killer shook her head. "I need something to clean blood and crap off my sword."

The guy kept chewing his grass stem. "Armory is down the street."

Killer held up a handkerchief. "This is all I need. Shopkeeper! How much?!?"

The greasy man made his sneaky sneak way behind Killer. "For a pretty girl like you...twelve gold."

Killer raised a brow in a Sanzo-like manner. "Twelve gold for this piece of crap?!?! You dare overprice for a scion of Genjo Sanzo?!?!"

The shopkeeper blanched. .....Take it......Anything for the great Sanzo-sama's scion."

Killer's battle trained eyes noted the glint in the man's back pocket. "Thanks." As she turned away to leave, the shopkeeper threw his knife with deadly accuracy at the back of Killer's head. Killer did an instinctive leap, taking her clear over the weapon, flipping to catch it by the hilt and chuck it back with even more deadly accuracy. The shopkeeper exploded into little bits of youkai dust. "That was easy."

The punk guy's grass fell out of his gaping mouth. "You just obliterated him.....Don't know too many chicks who can do that."

Killer blushed. "You kind of learn how when you travel with the Sanzo-ikkou."

The punk held out is hand. "By the way....I'm Henshin Ryu. I'm a sort of youkai exterminator. Per se. Personally, I prefer to call myself the head of a finders keepers organization."

Killer giggled. She took his hand in an elegant ladylike manner. "I'm Kijin-Hakai Yume. Most people just call me Killer. I'm the insane and female factor of the current Sanzo-ikkou."

Henshin grinned. "Awesome. Now what are you doing wearing a Sanzo's robe turned inside out?"

Killer sighed. "I hoped no one would notice that. All my clothes shrunk in the wash. With a womanizer for a companion, it's not safe to run around with shirts so small they double as bras."

Henshin nodded. "Totally understand. Shall I deck him for you?"

Killer went wide-eyed. "Shave his eyebrows. That'll have more effect."

"My EYEBROWS?!?! Sorry to bust up the lovebirds, but why the hell my eyebrows?" Goyjo remarked from the wall behind Killer.

Henshin simply did a quick maneuver that placed Killer behind him with an extremely long kwan do tickling Goyjo's nose. "Perhaps I could shave them off....but it would bring into mention your large mutant forehead."

Killer laughed and sorted through clothes. "Here we go!" She disappeared around the corner to put her new clothes on. When she came around the corner, Henshin had a spectacular nosebleed, caused by Killer's apparent lack of self-consciousness. She had chosen for her clothing experiment: 1 tight leather corset that had red lace ups in the front, 1 blood red colored flowing silk blouse that displayed her shoulders, 1 micro skirt made of black leather that was attached like a hooker to her knee high black leather boots, and she had tied her hair up in a high ninja ponytail with a bit of black ribbon. Sadly, her blouse had a low neckline and her skirt was of the stretchy kind. She had found a red sword belt somewhere, and as she came around the corner, she was busy seeing if Kyofu was willing to fit.

Goyjo noticed Henshin's spectacular nosebleed and took the opportunity to punch him in the nose to justify it. "Stop hawking my daughter."

Henshin quickly blotted his nose. "I wasn't hawking your daughter. She's too old to be your daughter."

Killer raised a brow. "You'd be surprised. Hey, does this corset make my breasts look big?" She pulled down the front of her shirt, still thinking with the brain of a child.

Henshin had another spectacular nosebleed. "Nice..."

Goyjo had to whap Henshin with his shakujo. "I told you to stop hawking my daughter!"

Sanzo whacked Goyjo with the fan. "Shut up. Stop flashing people Killer."

Killer cocked her head. "What does flashing mean?"

Henshin wiped away his nosebleed. "I take it you really don't usually exist in that lovely body."

Killer nodded and tucked her shirt back. "Right. Usually I exist in the body of a five year old!"

Sanzo whacked her with the fan. "Not trusting anyone remember? And where'd you put my robe?"

Killer giggled. "Poor Sanzo-kun had to walk in public in only his leather undies. It's on the pile over there."

Sanzo stalked past to grab his robe. He then turned around and blinked a couple of times. "What the hell are you wearing?"

Killer held up a finger in the long understood 'explaining' mode. "I really don't know."

Goyjo and Henshin fell over. "OH MY GODS!"

Killer held up her finger again. "Actually, it's oh my goddess."

Henshin managed to scrape himself off the floor. He blinked a few times as it dawned on him: Genjo Sanzo was standing in front of him. Then that must mean the two men and the boy were the rest of the Sanzo-ikkou. "For the sake of argument.....have any of you ever heard of Skuld?"

Killer perked up. "I think so. In my time she was practically none existent...."

"I'm going to ignore that comment. Every thirty years, a human being of great power is sacrificed to Skuld. Skuld then performs one feat of time play for one of the gods or goddesses. Guess who Skuld is."

Killer snarled. "The goddess of the future. White hair, black eyes, inferiority complex the size of a pinhead. Enjoys screwing with the lives of mortals. Especially in time tricks."

Henshin nodded. "Guess who's related to Skuld."

"Verdandi and Urdur. Tell me something I don't know."

Henshin coughed. "Those two are related to her....but! I've been eavesdropping on various conversations up there, and it turns out there's a rouge down here that is also related to her. Guess."

Killer drew Kyofu, totally ignoring Henshin. "Kyofu! Wake up love, I need to talk to you." The sword appeared to yawn, then changed into a handsome winged Latin demon man wearing a pair of black jeans and an unbuttoned white shirt. Killer smiled sweetly. "Morning sweetie. Guess who just decided to be a bitch?"

Kyofu scratched his horned head. "Skuld?"

Killer nodded. "Right in one guess." She grabbed his throat and snarled. "Guess who she decided to be a bitch to?"

Kyofu tried to breathe. "You're choking me...."

Killer squeezed harder and easily lifted him off the ground. "Guess."

Kyofu wheezed. "You."

"Damn straight."

Kyofu managed a weak laugh. "We aren't going to be doing anything bad are we.....I don't like being bad."

Killer gave an evil smile. "600 years of back pay."

Kyofu struggled to breathe. "I'll help."

Killer threw him across the room. "I want the bitch's head on a plate!"

Kyofu expanded his wings mid throw and hovered over the floor. "What's in it for me?"

Killer pointed at Sanzo. "Him."

Goku summoned Nyaibo (however you spell that). "No way!"

Killer kicked him across the room. "Do the words: Urusai baka saru, mean anything to you ?"

Kyofu shook his horned Latin head. "No. I don't do monks. When did you get the nice digs though?"

"Skuld."

"......I've got an idea."

"No."

"Come on. You want my help right."

"Still no."

"No help then."

"Tough shit. Find something else you want." Killer leaned against the wall.

"One ride. Please...."

"Bite me."

"Ouch. It stings. Come on then. What do you have to lose?"

"My pride, dignity, and honor."

"I gather that's a lot?"

"A shit load."

"But you're not even a nice person..."

"No."

"Oh come on. I'll even throw in a free get past the god shield thing."

Killer contemplated this for a moment. "Promise?"

"Yes."

"Fine."

"Woohoo! Hey wait.....why are you leaving?"

"You never designated time or place."

"Now and here."

"No. People."

"Right. Now. Or. I. Go. Home."

"Damn you." Killer turned her back on Kyofu, who happily hopped up.

"Piggy-back ride! Woohoo! Faster!"

"I am not moving dumbass."

"You have to."

"...." Sanzo just stood there staring at Killer and her burden. "....."

Goyjo and Goku cracked out laughing. "Killer is a pack horse." "Good position for ya there!"

Henshin and Hakkai shook their heads. "This is going to be a long day." "Ditto."

Kyofu cheered as Killer took a single step forward, her face saying quite clearly that she wanted very much to kill Kyofu, except it appeared that Kyofu was a sword....and you can't kill swords. Kyofu simply stretched his wings and poked her shoulder. "Come on."

Henshin ran his hand through his blue hair. "Maybe we should do something."

Goyjo held a fist under his face. "Whaddya mean 'we' punk?"

Henshin grinned. "Well....Yume-chan seems to have a whacked out desire to annihilate the goddess of the future."

"What's your point?" Killer took lightning fast steps to Henshin and dumped Kyofu on the ground.

Sanzo shook his head. "If you kill the god or goddess of something, you have to either become them or their territory dwindles down into nothing."

"So what?"

"Since none of us are related in any distant way to Skuld, we can't take her place and then.....the future disappears." Henshin cleared his throat upon making his point.

"But I am. Long time no see kiddo." A black haired tanned woman looked at Yume. "What's with the guy?"

Yume grabbed Kyofu by the neck. He squeaked and changed back. "BITCH!!!" Yume jumped and delivered a powerful blow to the woman, her legs splayed out. The force of the blast revealed the entirety of the shield, the blow creating a massive wind.

The woman laughed and brushed a lock of errant hair off her shoulder. "Calm down. I wouldn't want to report you to God."

"Fuck you." Yume jumped back and landed gracefully, Kyofu turning into a massive horse cutter that she held easily over her back.

Sanzo chucked a fan, Yume blocking it with a small wrist movement. "Watch your mouth girl!"

Henshin gave a nervous laugh. "Aunt Urdur....How've you been?"

Urdur flicked out her weapon, a massive bull whip. "I ought to spank you for your awful sense of tact."

Yume noticed something out of the corner of her eye, a youkai. Its aura had been hidden by the two goddesses and god in the room. "Urdur! Hit the deck!"

Urdur slammed forward onto the ground, her bull whip grabbing Henshin's ankle, bringing him down as well.

Yume gave a calculated guess on where the youkai would run, and chucked Kyofu. The running youkai felt her armor being pinned into the wall. "Damn! Haven't you learned anything?!?!?!"

The youkai scrabbled against the wall, her bright green-blue hair flapping down over her childish face. "Don't kill the messenger!"

Yume slashed open her face to the bone with her nails. "Spill it."

Goyjo poked her shoulder. "Play nice."

Yume went red-eyed. "Mimiru!"

Mimiru saluted and her green eyes squinted shut in her chubby face. "Tell me nanimo wakaranai demo, you say itsumo sonna kotoba mo, Kijin Hakai Yume-san! {Tell me I don't understand anything, but you always say those kinds of words, too Kijin-Hakai Yume.}"

Yume grew massive fangs and her red demon tribal marks began appearing on her body. "MIMIRU!!!!"

Mimiru held up one clawed finger. "Now now Yume. We wouldn't want to swap you again."

Yume let her fangs get bigger as she hit the ground on her hands and knees. "NO!!!! I WANT TO STAY AS ME!!!! STOP IT!!!" She held the sides of her head as she passed out on the floor.

Mimiru giggled. "I warned you. But you just don't listen. Now be a good whore and behave."

Urdur cracked her whip. "That's not very nice. She won't be happy when she wakes up. But that releases......Phobos, Deimos, Kyofu, and of all goddesses......Harmony from their bondage. Congratulations. You've just restored her to her former life. I hope you can deal with the consequences."

"Aunt Urdur.......Wasn't she.....?" Henshin backed up against the wall.

Urdur tied Yume's hands and feet with Urdur's own hair. "Yes. The world destroyer. The blood drinker Hikara-maki, the only daughter of Susano-o. She was born from a single tear, and first fed on Susano-o's blood."

Goyjo blanched. "And here I thought she was my biological daughter."

Urdur and Mimiru cracked out laughing, Mimiru leaning heavily on the wall.

Sanzo perked a brow. "I must have missed something in my Buddhist lessons."

Yume squirmed on the floor, her sharp fangs having difficulty with the thickness of Urdur's hair. "What do you put in this!?"

Urdur did a quick cackle. "Mayonnaise."

Yume spit on the floor. "Yuck. No wonder it tastes gross. Oh well. I'll just do it the hard way."

Henshin and Mimiru found themselves backed into the same corner. They glared at each other. Henshin tackled Mimiru, pulling her hair as he sought to hold her down. "If she breaks her seals, you die first!!!"

Kanzeon chose this point to appear with Skuld at her side. "Actually, humans die first. Allow me to take this point in time to deliver God's decree."

Skuld cleared her throat as she began to recite. "In the case of the demon whore Kijin-Hakai Yume, Goddess of the fiends, known to demon kind as Hikara-maki the blood drinker, by the supreme powers of heaven, under the laws of extermination, I declare her incapable of human thought, emotion, compassion, and innovation. In the hearsay case of the relationship between Kenren Taisho and the spy Kijin-Hakai Yume, you will spend the next 600 years blind. You will be looked down on as the monster that you are. You will be stripped of all memory and powers, restrained like a wolf is to become a dog. If your powers are to be awakened, or your memories, you will be returned to your former glory and then executed. In the case of the crimes of Yuki Milla, for the massacres of twenty-six temples, eternity in Hell. In the case of Yume Izumi, the sentence is to be chained as a heretic. In the case of Noroi Taihen, movement to Heaven. In the case of Henshin Sanzo, for his unwitting aid in the line, torture until death. In the case of Kenren Taisho, redeemed in battle. In the case of Kijin-Hakai Yume the second, containing the soul of the daughter, service as the God's tool for destruction, the Killing Puppet."

Yume laughed. "That's it?! So they will only try to contain me?! Do you people realize what you're dealing with?!"

Mimiru sighed. "I too am here to pass sentence. In the case of the traitorous demon whore Hikara-maki, daughter of Susano-o, eternity in her basic humanoid demon form."

Yume let a blood tear fall from her face. "When do I start?"

Skuld and Urdur grabbed her hands, letting the bonds fall to the floor. "You start as ours."

AN: This is all you get. I wrote this listening to happy music. That means cute Japanese songs like the theme for Panyo Panyo Digi Charat. I actually like that show..... Yea. I'm finally back in school, so you'll get more chapters more often. Unless I have.....God forbid....homework. AsianOrange, I'm so sorry for not updating regularly. Really. I'm actually sorry about something. If you like uber cute super smart little brats like Chiyo-chan from Azumanga Diaoh......Cooking is so fun. Cooking is so fun. Now it's time to take a break and see what we have done. Yay. It's ready. meow I think I'm going to puke.

Don't you like to have a good laugh at the expense of others? Cuz I sure do. If you don't have anything nice to say, come talk to me. And what kind of a name is Mishima?! Seriously?

Law of Temporal Variability

Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

I follow the Laws of Manga to a T. This one is my favorite:

Law of Inherent Combustability

Everything explodes. Everything.

First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.

Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

My second fav:

Law of Inverse Accuracy

The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Storm trooper Effect)

Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.

First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.

Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.

Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers.

Third fav:

Law of Follicular Chroma Variability

(from Spellweaver)

Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

Fourth:

Law of Extra dimensional Capacitance

(from Jason Bustard)

All anime females have an extra dimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.

First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

I use all these laws constantly. Especially this one, which Henshin does a lot.

Law of Nasal Sanguination

(from Ryan Pritchard and Jason Aylen)

When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of blood flow to that region.

And some of you know where I found some of this. If not, I think it's at I didn't actually find this myself mind you. There are 46....laws last time I got an update. If you can't find it, e-mail me and I'll just post them all on my little URL for this site.... If I were you, I would read these. Because otherwise you will just not get some of the things my characters do and say.