Part 26
Spit it out
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I looked around the table hesitantly.

"Jen, if I'm going to help her, I need to know. Spit it out." Jack told me
bluntly.

I nod. "It was sort of my fault. I'd just gotten off the phone with Dawson, and
- " I noticed Jack's eyebrows go up and realized it didn't really matter what
precisely happened, just in general. "So yeah. They were bickering, and it sort
of got vicious. Pacey accused Joey of assuming too much, she took it the wrong
way and they each blamed it on...well, they..."

"Jen, don't stop now just because you don't want to talk about it." Jack
pressed, and Dawson nodded in agreement.

"He blamed her assumptions on a lack of sex, okay? He brought sex into it. She
basically responded in kind and to keep it from getting too hurtful I told them
to shut up because the last time for each of them was each other and they both
knew it."

Jack whistled softly.

Dawson's eyebrows shot up. "How would that send Joey into that kind of state
though? Jen, she's practically off the deep end."

"It was bound to happen eventually Jen - it was bound to come up. You know her -
she's the queen of safety." Jack said, consoling me.

I nod. "I know that Jack - but you have to admit it would have been easier on
her if it hadn't only been two days after she found out about Dawson's movie."

"What's this? What movie? I haven't made a movie since -" Dawson paused. "You're
kidding me. She found them in MY HOUSE???? I knew she thought Pacey had cheated
on her with Andie, but I didn't realize it was because of MY MOVIE! God! This
could have been solved years ago!"

I shook my head. "She wasn't willing to hear it before now Dawson. And she
wouldn't have talked to you - or watched the movie. Trust me. There is no way
she would have listened any sooner."

Jack was glancing at his watch. "We'd better go - if I'm gonna get her to go to
work tommorow I'm gonna need some time."

I nod, and we pay for our meal. When we get to the apartment building, I head
for Pacey's while Jack and Dawson continue to Dawson's.

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Part 27
Intentions
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I hurt him.

I abandoned him.

I abandoned the love I held so deep.

I abandoned his love.

I look up and notice that I'm not alone. "Hey." I say softly.

"Hey. What happened?" he asks.

"I was wrong. I hurt him."

"He'll get over it."

"Will I? How can I ever make this up to him? How can I ever forgive myself?"

"It takes time Jo."

"I don't have time Jack. I have to go to work for him tomorrow."

"Yeah. He's your boss Jo. Just respect that. I'm not leaving until you force me
out, but you don't have to let him in if you're not ready for him to be there."
He pauses, thinking. "Of course, even if you do try to throw me out, I probably
won't leave. No one expects you to be okay with this right away - not even him.
Just go and do your job. You didn't get this job because of connections, you
got this job because you know this part inside out. He wrote this part for you
just go be her. Leave Joey in your trailer until you're ready to bring her out."

I nod. "Suck it up and do my job?"

He smiles. "Not exactly. Just be professional. You're an actress here to act a
part; don't let your personal problems interfere with that. Don't abandon them
either, just don't take them to work."

"I don't think I can do that. Not with him."

And I can't. Seeing him, knowing what I've done to him. I wrecked him. I
betrayed his trust by not trusting him. I feel the tears well up in my eyes.

He kneels next to me. "Yes you can. Because you're Josephine Potter; and you
never back down from any challenge. You got your navel pierced to piss Geoff off
Jo; you can do this."

"But - I - he -

"Just treat him like a director."

I nod. I can do this. Just another project; just another director.

Except it's not.

And he's not.

I can try to do this.

No matter what I need to do this,

I can't afford to let him down again.

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