Disclaimer: I don't own LotR and I am REALLY SICK OF HAVING TO SAY THAT!!!!!

A/N: this chapter is not very good…I am rather dead at the moment.

It was 4:00 AM, Aragorn was still driving, and everyone else was asleep…

"Who's $@%&ing idea was it to not stop at a Motel 6 and drive ALL NIGHT," Growled Aragorn.

No one answered, so Aragorn drove for a while in a moody silence.  Finally, he heard the first stirring from one of the hobbit sized sleeping bags.

"No doubt that's the ever cheerful Pippin," muttered Aragorn.

Sure enough, Pippin's head popped out of his bright yellow sleeping bag a moment later.

"Good morning Aragorn!" He chirruped.

"I'm glad YOUR awake, Mr. Merry Sunshine," snarled Aragorn.

"I'm not Merry!" said Pippin "HE'S Merry."  He pointed at Merry's bright orange sleeping bag.  "And his last name isn't sunshine either.  It's…"

"Brandybuck," finished Aragorn, shaking his head dispairingly.  "If you are positively incapable of saying anything that even remotely resembles intelligent conversation, then go back to sleep."

"HEY!" said a voice from inside a bright orange, hobbit sized sleeping bag "you be nice to my friend Pippin!"  A particularly large mushroom bounced off of the back of Aragorn's head.

Muttering something about imbecilic hobbits to himself, Aragorn fell silent.

Much more slowly, and in a much less cheerful fashion then Merry and Pippin, people began to wake up.

At seven o'clock, the fellowship plus Eowyn and Faramir had been driving for twelve hours down Interstate 95 and had passed from Maine to New Hampshire.

"I'm hungry!" complained Merry "Can we stop at that Denny's over there?"

"NO!" chorused Gimli, Aragorn, and Gandalf.

Suddenly, Pippen, with a can of whipped cream in his hand had launced himself through the air, and was squatting, a la the Matrix, on the headrest of Aragorn's seat.

"Don't make me do anything violent," He said, aiming the nozzle of the whipped cream can threateningly at Aragorn's hair.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!" said Aragorn resignedly, pulling off of the highway.

Five minutes later: All nine people (or people, elves, dwarves, wizards and hobbits, as it were) were crammed into a booth at Denny's.

Legolas disappeared into the bathroom, the moment they arrives.  The waitress who was serving them looked to be about 19, and was excessively giggly and flirty, especially with Aragorn and Faramir.  Eowyn glowered.

"Hi," she giggled "I'm Mary-Sue and…"

"AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!" screamed everyone.  Eowyn drew her sword, and everyone else made a dash for the door.  Once she was sure everyone was safely outside, she ran outside and leapt into the car with everyone else.

"Someone's been messing with my toiletry bag," commented Aragorn.  "My razors gone."

"That should be the least of your worries right now, especially considering that you never USE  the razor anyway!" yelled Faramir "Now let's go!!"

Just as they were about to pull out, Sam yelled "WAIT!!  Where's Legolas."

"Still in the bathroom, no doubt."

"I'll get him," said Eowyn, grimly clutching her sword.  "I do not fear Mary-Sues."

Once she charged inside the resturaunt, it took her no time at all to locate the waitress.

"WHERE IS HE?" Eowyn snarled, swishing her sword threateningly "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HIM?!?!?"

"Who?" squeeked the waitress.

"LEGOLAS!  Tallish, lean, long, blond hair…"

"He went into the bathroom!" the waitress squeeked.

Eowyn charged to the door of the mens' bathroom.  "Legolas!  You in there?"

Silence.

"Legolas?"

Silence.

"Legolas, if you do not get your narrow @$# out here by the time I count to three, I am coming in there and kicking it from here to next Tuesday.  OOOooooonnnne… Twooooooooooooooooo…THREE!"  Eowyn kicked the door open, and stopped dead.

There was Legolas, standing as the sink, Aragorn's razor in his hand.  His hair…all of his gorgeous blond hair…was in a pile on the floor next to him.

"Oh…my…god…" said Eowyn.

"You sound like a Mary-Sue," Legolas informed her absently.

"Speaking of Mary-Sue's there is one out there, so I suggest you haul your @$# out to the car."

"ACCCKKKK!!" Screamed Legolas, sprinting towards the door of the resturaunt.  Eowyn sprinted after him, but then paused.  Striding over to Mary-sue, she slapped her "That's for flirting with Faramir," she slapped her again "and that's for flirting with Aragorn.  They're both taken and you don't have a chance with them."

She strode out the door and into the car.  "Let's go."

No one heard her though.  They were all staring at Legolas.

"Are you out of your MIND?" asked Gimli.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," Said Legolas "I was trying to make myself unsexy."

"But…" Said Aragorn "You gave yourself a…"

"CREW CUT!" everyone said.

A/N: I'm REALLY SORRY that I haven't posted in so long, I've been gone for eleven days with NO INTERNET ACCESS

REVIEWS:

Galadriel_in_disguise: Sounds strange doesn't it: I claim to love Pippin, but I can't spell his name…strange…almost MARY-SUEISH.  But at least I haven't given him an abysmal nickname or written a story where he falls hopelessly in love with me…YET!!!  Mwahaha!!!  (Scared yet?)

DiamondTook3: SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN SO LONG!!!

Mirielle: No, it wasn't a street light.  Next chapter, you'll find out what it is…

Snowspectre: Well what female who watches LotR could help but be a fangirl, shrill and teenybopperish or otherwise.

Galadriel_in_disguise: Ha…I wouldn't REALLY subject you (or anyone) to a mary sue fic.