Disclaimer: ….

Me: ALRIGHT!!!  WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DISCLAIMER?!?!?!?!?!?

Merry: I ate it.  I'm sorry.

Me: You ATE my disclaimer?!?!?!  I thought only PIPPIN did that!!!

Merry: It looked like a mushroom large hobbit eyes I LIKE mushrooms.

Me: I REALIZE that….arrrrrgggghhhh!!!  NOW I have to find a new, and possibly even more boring disclaimer!!  Gives Merry a murderous look.

Merry: MEEP!! Runs away.

A/N: If you are Peter Jackson or Christopher Tolkien or whatever, which I SERIOUSLY DOUBT, but anyway, lets just say, that if you are, please don't sue me.  As I said, Merry ate my disclaimer.

A/N: Why doesn't my spell checker recognize 'Tolkien'?

Scene: still on I-95, somewhere in southern New Hampshire, Merry, yes, Merry is driving.

"WHO'S bright idea was it to put Merry behind the wheel?" asked Gandalf, as they swerved through various lanes, skidded across a patch of black ice, and nearly rear-ended a Honda Civic.

"Well, strictly speaking, it's not just Merry," said Sam, calmly "His feet don't even reach the gas pedal."

"Then how the !@#$% are we doing one twenty on the WRONG SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY?!?!" yelled Gandalf, as they skidded to a halt within one millimeter of what would have been a very painful crash with a bus.

"See for yourself!" said Sam, cheerful as ever, pointing under the driver's seat.

There was Pippin, giggling insanely, ignoring the brake, and pushing the gas pedal at random moments.

"FOOL OF A TOOK!!!!" yelled Gandalf, pulling him out from under the seat by the hem of his Lorien cloak.

"YOU SPOIL MY FUN, SAM!!!" yelled Pippin, sticking his tongue out at Sam.

"Do they have drivers ed in hobbitooooonnnnn?!?!?!?!" yelled Legolas, as Merry screamed "The Shire!!!" and pounced on the gas pedal.

"Drivers what?" said Merry, sitting on the gas pedal.

"Oh &^%$#@." Said Aragorn.  They were coming up on a limosene at about 180 MPH.

Everyone stared in terror at the limo as they sped closer to it.

Suddenly, the fellowship theme came blasting, strong and true, through the stereo, and Pippin, of all people, screamed "AIEEEEEEEE!!", dove through the air, and grasping the wheel, threw it sideways, and pulled them out of the lane with the limo, in the nick of time.

"I never thought," muttered Gandalf, "That I would live to se a day that would be saved by Peregrin Took."

Later: "Hey Faramir," said Aragorn.  "Take a look at Legolas will you?"

"I see nothing strange." Said Faramir "Tall, lean, brown eyes, perfectly coiffed, long blonde hair…"

"Say that again," said Aragorn.  "Think about what you just said."

"Long blonde…hair."

"Oh…my…God…" said Faramir and Aragorn, looking at each other simultaneously.

"Maybe it's something Elf Hair does…" said Faramir.

"He gave himself a crew cut at eight, and by three his hair is rib length again…not to mention…it seems to be self-braiding…" muttered Aragorn.  "Let's not tell him.  It wouldn't really help anything, and he would get pissed."

NIGHT FALL: Gandalf was driving, because Pippin, despite his spectacular save, was force to relinquish it to him.  Everyone was asleep, except Pippin, and Merry, who he was keeping awake.

"Merry!  The top of the car's glowing again!"

"It's a STREETLIGHT.  Go to sleep."

"It's NOT a streetlight.  It's green."

"Gandalf!!  Pippin is convinced that there is something glowing on top of the car!!  Will you go check??"

With a long suffering sigh, Gandalf pulled over and stepped out of the car.

"Hobbits…worrying about a…street……light…"

As it turned out, the glow wasn't a street light.  Someone was sleeping on top of the car.  Someone bright green, transparent, and glowing.

Gandalf hadn't noticed, but everyone had filed out of the car and was grouped around him.

"It LOOKS like…" said Aragorn.

"It couldn't be," said Legolas.

"It is." Said Gandalf.

The figure slowly sat up.  "Hello, dudes," said Boromir, or rather, Boromir's ghost.

A/N: Wheeee!  Yay!  Go Boromir!!!!!!!!!!!

DiamondTook3: THANK YOU!!!  I  GREATLY APPRECIATE the fact that you like my fic!  THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!

Mirielle: yup.  Legolas wants the fangirls to stop chasing him, but his plots to make himself unsexy to his fangirls will NEVER WORK.  MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!  Ahem.  Thanks for reviewing.  By the way, I may be 'mortal', but I am not 'puny'!!

Galadriel_in_disguise: I hope you get a lead in the play too!!!  Just how many times have you seen FotR???  ACK!!!!!  MARY-SUES=EVIIIIIL

The Dark Wanderer: THANKS.  Yeah…my apologies to all of the Legolas fans.

Aeccu: Yup.  Legolas buzzed his hair.  Thanks so much for reviewing!!