Part 37
Chicken shit
Just say it Dawson, just freaking say it. "So, what are we going to do about Joey?" I ask Jen as we wait for our table. Chicken.
"Honestly Dawson, I don't know. I don't think there's anything we can do at this point. She's backed herself into a corner, that she isn't ready to get herself out of, but just doesn't realize it yet."
"I can't just watch her do this Jen. She's killing Pacey with every word she says." And if I keep babbling about Jo and Pacey, I'm going to kill myself. Why can't I just freaking spit it OUT?!
We get seated at an out of the way window booth. "Maybe so, but we have no way of knowing how far she's going to take this. How much she's willing to show him before getting scared." She paused briefly. "But enough about those two already. It's making my headache worse."
Now what? It would seem I can't just spit out the fact that I want to date her, so now what do we talk about? "So, what do meddlers, taking a break from their meddlesome habits, talk about over dinner then?" I ask carefully.
"I'm actually not sure. I've been a meddler for so long I think, I've forgotten how to have a normal conversation. How does food sound as a topic?"
I like food. Food is a nice, safe, non-relationship topic. So okay, maybe I don't want to talk about food. But I'm certainly not going to tell her that. I smile. "Food sounds great." I say, locking eyes with her.
~~~@~~~@~~~@ Part 38 Survey says...Wrong!
I can't believe she just freaking did that. I realize she's feeling awfully empowered today, but what the hell was she thinking showing him that? I walk up to her trailer and open the door only to see her put her brush down.
"Now what?" she muttered to herself.
Now, my dear friend, you get chewed out for freaking out on your boss! "The truth?" I ask her, entering her trailer to sit down near her.
She whirled to face me and followed me with her eyes as I sat at her small table. "You scared me Jack!"
It's about time someone did. "You deserved it. He's sitting in his trailer staring at the wall Jo."
"So? It's his turn now, and -
"No. It's not." You are not avoiding this one Jo. This time, it won't work out like you want it to.
"What?!" she exclaimed. "You're supposed to be on my side here Jack."
Wonderful. Now we're choosing sides again. I hate sides. "I am. Believe me I am. But you're wrong Josephine. Someone had to tell you that and as your friend it's my duty to do just that." I paused. How am I supposed to explain to her that she scared the shit out of Pacey? That right now he's sitting in his trailer wondering what the hell just happened? "Yes, I scared you just now, but you nearly gave Pacey an aneurysm by showing him all that anger and pain. You think he knows where you stand, but he doesn't. It's not his turn to come to you because he doesn't know if he should."
"How could he not know?" she asked softly, sitting down next to me. "He's always just known."
"Jo, so much of you is in Stacey. There always has been, because Stacey was written for you. Most of the time, when you're on set, you can't tell where you end and Stacey starts." I pause, trying to think of a way to explain Pacey's probable confusion. "It's different when Dawson is on set. He doesn't instinctively know how Noah is going to react to something like you do for Stacey, because Noah has too much of Pacey in him, and Dawson doesn't think like Pacey does. Right now, Pacey can't tell just how much of that little performance was for him, and how much was for the movie."
"So basically 'go to him'." She said, nodding slowly.
"When you're really ready for that talk, yes, but I'm not going to tell you that that's all it's going to take, because it's not. You can't get him back by snapping your fingers Joey."
She scrunched her nose. "I can't?"
GAAAAH! What did you think Jo? That you'd work through your issues and once you were done he was just going to be there? No! It doesn't freaking work like that! He is not at your beck and call, never has been. PACEY IS NOT DAWSON. "It's just not that easy Joey. When you first got together, it took months of you both denying it and fighting tooth and nail insisting that you hated one another. Even when you were together you kept fighting. Yes, you're in love with each other, but you've both been through so much Joey, you have so much to learn about each other."
"So what? We were different then." She tried.
No shit! Dammit Joey! It's just not that easy! Open your eyes! "Joey, you're both so far from where you were in high school. That's not easy to adjust to. You will find your way back to each other, I'm sure of it, but it takes time."
I see tears forming in her eyes. "He's never going to come is he?"
I wrap my arms around her tightly. "As much as I hate telling you this Jo, no. He's not. You have to be the one who goes to him, not because of tonight, but because you're the one who ran." ~~~@~~~@~~~@ Part 39 Alleluia
I haven't laughed this hard in years! "What happened next?" I asked Dawson through my laughter.
"Well, when they finally got their hands on Ed the eel, they tried to dump him back into the tank. Meanwhile, one of the servers is on the phone to Home Hardware, and she's like 'you're KILLING OUR FISH' to them. So the eel gets away again, flopping to the floor on the other side of the tank. And these girls in the booth next to ours are completely freaking out. They have their feet on the benches, and the one girl has her trench coat pulled up around her feet on the bench and they're both just shaking. So when they get the eel back in the tank and slam the lid shut, it just stays there, with it's mouth against the lid as though it's thinking 'just one inch, give me just one inch'. Then, the power goes back on and the eel is fine. It's like it never even happened."
"That's insane!"
"I know! And no, joke, from that day forward I haven't been able to go near a fish tank with an eel in it." He insisted.
"Okay Dawson, I believe you." I said, smiling broadly. We fall into another awkward silence. We're thinking about them! I give up! Who cares? "We really needed to get away from their drama didn't we?"
"Completely. They're too over the top."
"More than we realize I think. Think about it. There's so much we don't know about their relationship. So much that they never talked about."
"I suppose. You may recall that I essentially ostracized them from my life at that point."
"I do remember something along those lines, yes. How are you doing with that now?" Say it's over. Say you just don't care. Please God just say you're over it!
"For a long time I thought it still bothered me. Yes, near the end of high school I got sick of being lonely and said I was over it, but at the time, I really wasn't. Then it really hit me. Joey and I are friends, we always have been, and probably always will be. But that's it. She realized it long before I did though. That's how she found Pacey."
It's about time Dawson Leery. "So what made you realize it?"
He shrugged. "Pacey did. He harped about the girls I was dating for almost three years, and then, one day, I just got it."
Huh? "Got what?"
He smiled and took my hand over the table.
I know that look. Say what? When the hell did he get this gumption?
"Jen, would you go on a date with me? It'll probably be media mayhem, but I would really love it if you would."
I could feel my grin spread quickly. "It's about time." I whispered softly. Damn is it ever.
"So yes?" he pressed gently.
I twined my fingers with his and nodded. "Hell yes."
Just say it Dawson, just freaking say it. "So, what are we going to do about Joey?" I ask Jen as we wait for our table. Chicken.
"Honestly Dawson, I don't know. I don't think there's anything we can do at this point. She's backed herself into a corner, that she isn't ready to get herself out of, but just doesn't realize it yet."
"I can't just watch her do this Jen. She's killing Pacey with every word she says." And if I keep babbling about Jo and Pacey, I'm going to kill myself. Why can't I just freaking spit it OUT?!
We get seated at an out of the way window booth. "Maybe so, but we have no way of knowing how far she's going to take this. How much she's willing to show him before getting scared." She paused briefly. "But enough about those two already. It's making my headache worse."
Now what? It would seem I can't just spit out the fact that I want to date her, so now what do we talk about? "So, what do meddlers, taking a break from their meddlesome habits, talk about over dinner then?" I ask carefully.
"I'm actually not sure. I've been a meddler for so long I think, I've forgotten how to have a normal conversation. How does food sound as a topic?"
I like food. Food is a nice, safe, non-relationship topic. So okay, maybe I don't want to talk about food. But I'm certainly not going to tell her that. I smile. "Food sounds great." I say, locking eyes with her.
~~~@~~~@~~~@ Part 38 Survey says...Wrong!
I can't believe she just freaking did that. I realize she's feeling awfully empowered today, but what the hell was she thinking showing him that? I walk up to her trailer and open the door only to see her put her brush down.
"Now what?" she muttered to herself.
Now, my dear friend, you get chewed out for freaking out on your boss! "The truth?" I ask her, entering her trailer to sit down near her.
She whirled to face me and followed me with her eyes as I sat at her small table. "You scared me Jack!"
It's about time someone did. "You deserved it. He's sitting in his trailer staring at the wall Jo."
"So? It's his turn now, and -
"No. It's not." You are not avoiding this one Jo. This time, it won't work out like you want it to.
"What?!" she exclaimed. "You're supposed to be on my side here Jack."
Wonderful. Now we're choosing sides again. I hate sides. "I am. Believe me I am. But you're wrong Josephine. Someone had to tell you that and as your friend it's my duty to do just that." I paused. How am I supposed to explain to her that she scared the shit out of Pacey? That right now he's sitting in his trailer wondering what the hell just happened? "Yes, I scared you just now, but you nearly gave Pacey an aneurysm by showing him all that anger and pain. You think he knows where you stand, but he doesn't. It's not his turn to come to you because he doesn't know if he should."
"How could he not know?" she asked softly, sitting down next to me. "He's always just known."
"Jo, so much of you is in Stacey. There always has been, because Stacey was written for you. Most of the time, when you're on set, you can't tell where you end and Stacey starts." I pause, trying to think of a way to explain Pacey's probable confusion. "It's different when Dawson is on set. He doesn't instinctively know how Noah is going to react to something like you do for Stacey, because Noah has too much of Pacey in him, and Dawson doesn't think like Pacey does. Right now, Pacey can't tell just how much of that little performance was for him, and how much was for the movie."
"So basically 'go to him'." She said, nodding slowly.
"When you're really ready for that talk, yes, but I'm not going to tell you that that's all it's going to take, because it's not. You can't get him back by snapping your fingers Joey."
She scrunched her nose. "I can't?"
GAAAAH! What did you think Jo? That you'd work through your issues and once you were done he was just going to be there? No! It doesn't freaking work like that! He is not at your beck and call, never has been. PACEY IS NOT DAWSON. "It's just not that easy Joey. When you first got together, it took months of you both denying it and fighting tooth and nail insisting that you hated one another. Even when you were together you kept fighting. Yes, you're in love with each other, but you've both been through so much Joey, you have so much to learn about each other."
"So what? We were different then." She tried.
No shit! Dammit Joey! It's just not that easy! Open your eyes! "Joey, you're both so far from where you were in high school. That's not easy to adjust to. You will find your way back to each other, I'm sure of it, but it takes time."
I see tears forming in her eyes. "He's never going to come is he?"
I wrap my arms around her tightly. "As much as I hate telling you this Jo, no. He's not. You have to be the one who goes to him, not because of tonight, but because you're the one who ran." ~~~@~~~@~~~@ Part 39 Alleluia
I haven't laughed this hard in years! "What happened next?" I asked Dawson through my laughter.
"Well, when they finally got their hands on Ed the eel, they tried to dump him back into the tank. Meanwhile, one of the servers is on the phone to Home Hardware, and she's like 'you're KILLING OUR FISH' to them. So the eel gets away again, flopping to the floor on the other side of the tank. And these girls in the booth next to ours are completely freaking out. They have their feet on the benches, and the one girl has her trench coat pulled up around her feet on the bench and they're both just shaking. So when they get the eel back in the tank and slam the lid shut, it just stays there, with it's mouth against the lid as though it's thinking 'just one inch, give me just one inch'. Then, the power goes back on and the eel is fine. It's like it never even happened."
"That's insane!"
"I know! And no, joke, from that day forward I haven't been able to go near a fish tank with an eel in it." He insisted.
"Okay Dawson, I believe you." I said, smiling broadly. We fall into another awkward silence. We're thinking about them! I give up! Who cares? "We really needed to get away from their drama didn't we?"
"Completely. They're too over the top."
"More than we realize I think. Think about it. There's so much we don't know about their relationship. So much that they never talked about."
"I suppose. You may recall that I essentially ostracized them from my life at that point."
"I do remember something along those lines, yes. How are you doing with that now?" Say it's over. Say you just don't care. Please God just say you're over it!
"For a long time I thought it still bothered me. Yes, near the end of high school I got sick of being lonely and said I was over it, but at the time, I really wasn't. Then it really hit me. Joey and I are friends, we always have been, and probably always will be. But that's it. She realized it long before I did though. That's how she found Pacey."
It's about time Dawson Leery. "So what made you realize it?"
He shrugged. "Pacey did. He harped about the girls I was dating for almost three years, and then, one day, I just got it."
Huh? "Got what?"
He smiled and took my hand over the table.
I know that look. Say what? When the hell did he get this gumption?
"Jen, would you go on a date with me? It'll probably be media mayhem, but I would really love it if you would."
I could feel my grin spread quickly. "It's about time." I whispered softly. Damn is it ever.
"So yes?" he pressed gently.
I twined my fingers with his and nodded. "Hell yes."