"You just can't accept that I'm an independent woman," Willow yelled at Xander.
"I have no problems with you being independent. Be independent all you want. I have problems with you not telling me you're a lesbian," Xander yelled back.
"Your non leveled head is probably one of the reasons I became a lesbian in the first place!"
Xander inhaled deeply in shock and moved further away from her. He took a small breath and looked away sadly. "You went too far that time."
Willow suddenly felt sadness for hurting him. "I'm sorry." She moved closer but he moved away.
"No. I'm still mad."
"Again with the stubbornness. Just let me hug you and this will all be over."
"Oh yeah," Xander said sarcastically. He gave Willow a quick hug and stood back. "Wow, it's like nothing never happened." Willow's nose squished from her extreme angry frown.
"Dad, how can you be marrying this woman if I don't even like her? Shouldn't that be a number one turn off?" Spike demanded of Giles.
"Why can't I be happy?" Giles asked, keeping away from yelling.
"Just be happy with someone other than her. She hates me."
"I do not," Anya added.
"Bullocks."
"Randy, why must you take out your anger about me and your mother on Anya?"
"I can't talk to you." Spike threw his hands in the air and walked away.
"Hello!" Buffy yelled. Everyone stopped and looked at her. "Are we forgetting the crucial importance of getting our memories back? I mean, I don't know about you, but I would like to have this whole thing settled. With no lack of memory gaps."
"She's right. We should figure out how we can restore our memories," Giles said. He removed his glasses and cleaned them.
"How about a spell?" Dawn suggested.
"As long as Anya doesn't perform it, I think that's a good idea." Giles picked up a book.
"Rupert. You don't have to let everyone here know the mistakes I made with a few incantations."
"Anya please, dear. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry Anya this. I'm sorry Anya that. How about I'm sorry Randy for giving you an awful name and ignoring you all the time?"
"Randy, would you please stop this?"
"Ya know what, fine. I won't attempt to talk to you any more because you obviously have no interest." Spike went to the back room and slammed the door.
Giles took a deep breath. He looked from Anya to the door. He put the book on the table and walked to the back room. Buffy intervened. "I don't think you should do that."
"He's my son. I have to talk to him."
"Look, I know you don't want him mad at you, but he is. And the last thing he wants is to here you say you're sorry and you love him more because he won't believe you anyway."
"That's very comforting."
"Just, let me warm him up a little bit. You're the magic shop owner anyway, look for something to help us." Buffy opened the door and shut it carefully. Her face became confused. She saw the punching bag, balance beam and weapons lined along the wall. "Is your Dad a little too obsessed with Dungeons and Dragons?"
"I don't know." He was sitting on a little couch against the stone wall.
Buffy walked over to him and sat down. "Crazy situation huh?"
Spike let out a little chuckle. "I think crazy is an understatement."
"Yeah." The sat there twiddling their thumbs for awhile before Buffy broke the silence. "Sorry about the thing with your Dad."
"Me too." Spike leaned back in the chair. "I just want to stop thinking about it."
"Good idea. Let's think of something else."
"Like how crappy life's looking now?"
"Well, that wasn't my first thought."
Spike got up from his seat and paced with his head in his hands. "This is just bloody fantastic. My Dad's marrying a tarty woman who could be my sister, I have no memory of my life and I'm surrounded by strangers who keep bickering to each other about their little problems." He stopped pacing. "And I'm British."
"I like the accent."
"Really?"
"Yeah. It's… attractive." Buffy smiled. She felt different when she was around him. For some reason he made her feel safe, which must be a pretty powerful feeling if she can't even remember her relation to him. "So, uh, what do you like to do?"
"I don't know. Can't remember."
"Not even, playing ball. Reading. Walking on the beach with the sun-" Buffy stopped remembering the vampire thing, "lighting up the moon."
"God, and I'm a vampire. I think this life officially sucks."
Buffy got up and walked over to him. "It could be worse." Spike gave her a 'how?' look. "You could be that shark thing, or be like, a government test bunny."
"Yeah, that would probably be worse." He thought for a minute.
"See. You don't exactly have a perfect life, but I'm sure I don't either. I just don't have as many people here to remind me I guess."
"Your life probably isn't that bad." Spike and Buffy were looking in each other's eyes and getting closer by some sort of magnetic pull.
Suddenly, the door opened. It was Dawn. "Mr. Giles says he found something." Buffy and Spike gave each other one last look before Buffy turned to leave. Spike followed.
"It says here that memory spells can be done in many different ways. All we need to do is figure out how we lost our memories and then this book will tell us what to do."
"So now we need to figure out another thing?! What kind of bull hanky is this," Xander said.
"Calm down," Willow said kindly.
"Stop telling me to calm down. This life is sucking so far. My girlfriend's a lesbian, I have no idea where I am and I just ate my last candy bar." He shoved the wrapper in his pocket and felt the stone. "Oh! I have something." Xander tried pulling it out of his pocket.
"Oh God!" Buffy, Anya, and Willow exclaimed, shielding their eyes.
Xander finally extracted the stone from his pocket and gave it to Giles. "This was on the floor in the sewer. I'm not sure what it is, but I figured you're the one to give it to."
Giles looked at the stone. "It's a crystal. Must've come from the store."
"There are crystals over here. I'll put it back."
"Thank you Anya." He handed her the stone and Anya placed it in the basket that contained a few different kinds. "Now, let's work on figuring out how we lost our memories."