The Deepest Depths Of High

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Kim! LOL (insider lol)

Summary: Morts divorce left him feeling so empty and useless. Instead of moving on hes moving on to different things. He starts out with drugs which turns into an addiction but then a new girl enters his life. But can anyone save him now? R for language sexuality and extreme drug & alcohol use.

A/N: Woohoo! Jamie's back! LOL sorry I haven't updated in such a long time...real busy...I saw Finding Neverland yesterday!! Pretty good. See it ok? lol well here we go. I honestly don't know where this story is going anymore. I just write for the sake of writing. Sorry about the delay....I honestly wrote this about two days ago...but was being screwy lol ---razz

Chapter Seven:

When I woke up again, I found that I was back in my house. I don't know how I got here, and I don't know why they would let me be back here....I was under the impression no one trusted me anymore....I was probably right.

I realized I was looking up at the ceiling on my couch, but it was only after I sat up lighheadedly, I saw Tiffany watching me apprehensively. It's so hard to explain how happy I was to see her...."Hi, Tiffany."

She smiled, and got up to sit down next to me. "Hey, babe." She kissed me quickly and brushed the stray hair out of my face, which I hadn't even noticed was there. "The doctors wanted me to stay with you for a while, to just watch over you and stuff."

I ran my fingers through my hair and smiled. "I'm glad. But...I don't need anyone to watch over me, Tiff. I've got everything under control."

"Hm...no, you don't." She laughed. "No, really. You need someone to make sure you don't go off doing anything stupid like the night before last."

"But, Tiff-"

She wrapped her hands around my neck and kissed me again. I kissed her back and found my hand wandering up her back....

Remember the macaroni, pilgrim...

Tiffany then let go of me and took a sharp intake of breath. "Mort..."

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...I won't do it again...."

"No, no, it's nothing....I just-"

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," she said, breathing heavily. "I have to go." She kissed me goodbye and ran out the door, leaving it wide open. I sat there, more confused than ever. Did I do something? I didn't mean to....Did I hurt her? I never wanted to....Why is everything so messed up?!?!

I can't answer that one....All I can do now is find more pills. I have to punish myself.

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An hour later, surprisingly my eyes were still open. I hadn't fallen yet. I didn't know what was happening to me....Had I died and gone to hell? I know that's what will happen to me when I die. I might as well just get myself there now....God, why won't my head stop spinning?! It took me a minute to notice I was standing against a wall in the kitchen, seeing blurs of the objects that surrounded me.

Why did I have to do this? I must be the biggest idiot on the surface of the earth....Just out of rehab, I go home and do it all over again. Wow, I'm an idiot....

I don't feel alive. Maybe I am dead....Maybe this is what hell does to people....It was time to find out for sure.

I found my way back into the bathroom. Wow, what am I doing? I don't even care anymore. I looked in the cabinet below the sink and found what I was looking for...a razor blade.

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I heard a hollow shriek and my eyes slowly opened. I somewhat expected to see Tiffany's red-ish hair and green eyes blended together to form some kind of beautiful color like usual, whenever I woke up....But no, this time I saw a white-ish yellow...Oh, God....

"Mort, what did you do? Wake up, honey...Please wake up...." Amy's voice echoed all around me, and I felt her touch my hand, which I realized was burning uncontrollably.

"Amy...help me..." I stuttered, not knowing what else to say. I grabbed her hand, and looked around. The room was a blue-ish color, as if I was in a horror film with no sound. I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know what had happened. Amy had suddenly disappeared. I wanted her back....I needed someone to hold my hand. Without somebody holding it, it felt so cold and...open.

Amy had returned and had helped me sit up against the cabinet. She was wrapping something around my wrist. I couldn't watch her do it though....It was painful. All I could look at were her pretty eyes, and wonder if she was mad at me. She couldn't be mad at me...please don't say she's mad at me....

She was done fixing up my wrist, and sat there in front of me, looking me in the eyes.

"Mort, why did you do this? Why would you...why would you do this to yourself? Was it because of the-the divorce?"

I didn't know what to say. It had been quite a long time since I'd had a conversation with Amy. "I don't know...Are you going to tell anyone?"

"Sweetie, I have to. We're so worried about you. You need help, Mort. This could get very serious. In fact...it already is."

"Amy..." I started breathing deeply, not wanting to tell her that it was her fault I had done all these terrible things in the first place. If she just hadn't cheated on me in the first place....I would be perfectly healthy right now. No drugs, no cuts, no alcohol...well, maybe a little alcohol but only for writing purposes. Tiffany's great and all...but no one could take the place of my precious Amy.

"Why are you doing this to yourself, Mort?" she asked seriously.

I looked around the room, then back to her eyes. "I loved you...."

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A/N: RAWR it's raining WOOHOO! Okay...our poor Mort is seeking solace in even more horrible things...anyway, please REVIEW! I LOVE YE! ---Razz