Part 50: For Joey
Bodie couldn't bear to go back to the B&B, so Jen and I arranged for a cook and maid to move in. He's staying with us at my parents' house with Alex, and baby Jessica is still in the hospital. Jo and Pacey are staying at Grams' next door. We thought she might want to be alone, but she freaks out every time Pacey leaves her side.
That's why he hasn't.
She's going to tell her father later today. The court has granted permission for him to attend the funeral in three days.
I see Jen coming and wrap my arms around her as she sits next to me. "I can't believe this is happening." She whispers.
"It's killing her, isn't it?"
"She just doesn't know anymore Dawson. Bess was the only thing in her life that never blew apart. No matter what else happened, she always had her sister. Everyone she's ever truly loved has left her. That's why she's clinging so hard to Pacey right now. She's afraid that if she lets him out of her sight he'll disappear."
"I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Andraia showing up this afternoon is probably a bad thing, isn't it?"
"Why would she be coming to Capeside?"
"Pacey lost the soundstage yesterday, and the Vegas shoot is scheduled to start in just under a week. Drai is having panic attacks over Pace leaving this project so suddenly."
"Dawson, you need to face the fact that his leaving the film has very little to do with why your friend is upset. She's worried about Pacey and Joey getting too close."
"Okay, I'll admit that's probably a big part of it. But the fact of the matter is that she's coming."
"She's going to try to get Pacey away from Jo. If she does that, Jo will crack."
"I know. I think I can manage to keep her away until they leave to see her dad, but Jen, they really do have to start getting ready for Vegas."
"The funeral is in three days. Let her deal with that first."
"You know if we were to just tell Drai to stay out of it, she would."
"No, she wouldn't. Dawson, that girl is head over heels for Pacey, and she will absolutely crush Joey to get him if she has to."
"Jen, that's insane. I know Drai has a crush on him, but she would never do that to Joey."
"Please trust me on this Dawson."
Drai is going to freak out about this, but what if Jen is right? I can't lose Joey again. I don't want Pacey to lose her again either. "Okay."
"Thank you. I know she's your friend. But I just don't see it working well."
I tighten my arms around her. "You're probably right Jen. You're probably right." ********* Part 51: I can't fight this feeling anymore
I glance over at Pacey, who's sitting at the dining room table, working on the Vegas shoot. I get that he's trying to give me space, but the problem is, I don't want to grieve quietly. "Why does this happen to me Pace?" I ask him.
He looks over, startled. "I could easily give you some bullshit about hardship making you stronger, but that's exactly what it would be – bullshit. You've been through enough, you're strong enough. The truth is Joey, I have no idea why this happens. The only thing I do know is that I'm here. You can cry, you can yell, you can even hit me if you think it'll help. Where you go, I go. For that matter, where I go, you go, because I have to be in Vegas two days early and there is no way you're staying in Capeside without me. I'm sick of not having you around me."
I feel a smile spread across my face. He wants me around. I'm not a burden. "Thank you." I look at the papers carefully. "What're you doin'?"
He shakes his head. "Drai emailed me. We got the Vegas shoot in two weeks, but I've only got 4 days."
I scrunch my face. I don't like that girl. I don't like her one bit. She's after him. I'm sure of it. "Can I help?" I ask, walking over and sitting next to him at the table.
"Mostly, I'm trying to figure out a bridge to get them married. That's the one part the studio didn't like. They don't think my sappy little scene fits with the characters."
"It doesn't."
"Thanks Jo. I appreciate the help." He smirks at me wryly.
"I never said that was the help. I said that your sappy 'I still love you' crap would never happen with them." He locks his eyes with mine. "Why not?"
I breathe deeply, and maintain eye contact. "They're too stubborn. They're going to have to be forced into it." I pause. "Vegas is the unveiling of the campaign, right?"
He nods.
"So Dan is back. He sees what they're trying to shove back. He makes a few calls, brings in some favours, and that night, he proposes a 'merger' of the two companies. A permanent account for the firm."
"Noah and Stacey wonder what he's getting at, glancing at one another nervously, both knowing what Dan is capable of, the variety of people who owe him favours."
"Dan suggests that they get married."
"Right then, right there."
"They're both wary, but go up on the stage –
"From opposite sides –
"And do it."
"It could work Jo, it really could. This is something they would do."
"Once they make up their minds, there's no stopping them." I whisper. What just happened? Something changed.
"Absolutely nothing can stop them." He confirms.
"Pacey, you're really here, right? I'm not just dreaming this? I can't – I just..." I stop, closing my eyes and dropping my head. "I don't want to fight myself anymore." I whisper. "I need you Pacey Witter. I need you back." I can't believe I just said that to him.
His hand touches my face and I open my eyes to meet his gaze. "Back?" he asks carefully.
I nod. "I tried to tell myself that I could go back. That I could just be your friend and that would be enough for me. But it's not. I need you so much more than that Pace. I have for so long."
He wraps me in his arms tightly. "So do I Joey. I need you more everyday."
I feel myself convulse in his arms. "What am I going to do without her Pacey?" I sob quietly.
************** Part 52: It's time
I hope this isn't just grief. I really hope she means it. "You're going to do what you do best Josephine. You're going to get up every day and tell yourself that it's beautiful out. You're going to thank God for all the wonderful things in your life, and you're going to remember how much you love Bess."
"Don't ever let me forget that, okay? Don't ever let me get so mad at her that I forget I love her. Don't let me forget her like I forgot my mother for so long. Like I tried to forget you."
"I won't." I tell her softly. Did she just tell me she loves me?
"Yes." She whispers. "I did. I tried so hard to forget that I'm in love with you Pacey. It didn't work though."
I pull back to look in her eyes. "You're..."
"Still in love? Yeah. I'm pretty sure you're not going anywhere. You never really left. I'm the one who ran Pacey, I'm the one who had to come back."
"I love you so much Jo." I tell her softly, kissing her lips gently.
"This is going to be really really slow okay? I just lost my sister."
"I can do slow."
"And you can't tell Andraia about this."
"Drai is one of my best friends." I say carefully.
"I know that, and she seems very nice. But I don't know her – and I'm not entirely sure if I trust her."
I lock eyes with her and see the steel in her eyes. "Okay." I pull her closer to me. "It's time to go."
"I know." She whispers. "Five more minutes?"
"You need to face him Jo. He loves her just as much as you."
"I know that Pace. I just...I haven't..."
"I know, but you know as well as I do – it has to be you."
She buries her face in my chest. "Let's go."
We stand together and I take her hand lightly as we cross to the door.
***
Bodie couldn't bear to go back to the B&B, so Jen and I arranged for a cook and maid to move in. He's staying with us at my parents' house with Alex, and baby Jessica is still in the hospital. Jo and Pacey are staying at Grams' next door. We thought she might want to be alone, but she freaks out every time Pacey leaves her side.
That's why he hasn't.
She's going to tell her father later today. The court has granted permission for him to attend the funeral in three days.
I see Jen coming and wrap my arms around her as she sits next to me. "I can't believe this is happening." She whispers.
"It's killing her, isn't it?"
"She just doesn't know anymore Dawson. Bess was the only thing in her life that never blew apart. No matter what else happened, she always had her sister. Everyone she's ever truly loved has left her. That's why she's clinging so hard to Pacey right now. She's afraid that if she lets him out of her sight he'll disappear."
"I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Andraia showing up this afternoon is probably a bad thing, isn't it?"
"Why would she be coming to Capeside?"
"Pacey lost the soundstage yesterday, and the Vegas shoot is scheduled to start in just under a week. Drai is having panic attacks over Pace leaving this project so suddenly."
"Dawson, you need to face the fact that his leaving the film has very little to do with why your friend is upset. She's worried about Pacey and Joey getting too close."
"Okay, I'll admit that's probably a big part of it. But the fact of the matter is that she's coming."
"She's going to try to get Pacey away from Jo. If she does that, Jo will crack."
"I know. I think I can manage to keep her away until they leave to see her dad, but Jen, they really do have to start getting ready for Vegas."
"The funeral is in three days. Let her deal with that first."
"You know if we were to just tell Drai to stay out of it, she would."
"No, she wouldn't. Dawson, that girl is head over heels for Pacey, and she will absolutely crush Joey to get him if she has to."
"Jen, that's insane. I know Drai has a crush on him, but she would never do that to Joey."
"Please trust me on this Dawson."
Drai is going to freak out about this, but what if Jen is right? I can't lose Joey again. I don't want Pacey to lose her again either. "Okay."
"Thank you. I know she's your friend. But I just don't see it working well."
I tighten my arms around her. "You're probably right Jen. You're probably right." ********* Part 51: I can't fight this feeling anymore
I glance over at Pacey, who's sitting at the dining room table, working on the Vegas shoot. I get that he's trying to give me space, but the problem is, I don't want to grieve quietly. "Why does this happen to me Pace?" I ask him.
He looks over, startled. "I could easily give you some bullshit about hardship making you stronger, but that's exactly what it would be – bullshit. You've been through enough, you're strong enough. The truth is Joey, I have no idea why this happens. The only thing I do know is that I'm here. You can cry, you can yell, you can even hit me if you think it'll help. Where you go, I go. For that matter, where I go, you go, because I have to be in Vegas two days early and there is no way you're staying in Capeside without me. I'm sick of not having you around me."
I feel a smile spread across my face. He wants me around. I'm not a burden. "Thank you." I look at the papers carefully. "What're you doin'?"
He shakes his head. "Drai emailed me. We got the Vegas shoot in two weeks, but I've only got 4 days."
I scrunch my face. I don't like that girl. I don't like her one bit. She's after him. I'm sure of it. "Can I help?" I ask, walking over and sitting next to him at the table.
"Mostly, I'm trying to figure out a bridge to get them married. That's the one part the studio didn't like. They don't think my sappy little scene fits with the characters."
"It doesn't."
"Thanks Jo. I appreciate the help." He smirks at me wryly.
"I never said that was the help. I said that your sappy 'I still love you' crap would never happen with them." He locks his eyes with mine. "Why not?"
I breathe deeply, and maintain eye contact. "They're too stubborn. They're going to have to be forced into it." I pause. "Vegas is the unveiling of the campaign, right?"
He nods.
"So Dan is back. He sees what they're trying to shove back. He makes a few calls, brings in some favours, and that night, he proposes a 'merger' of the two companies. A permanent account for the firm."
"Noah and Stacey wonder what he's getting at, glancing at one another nervously, both knowing what Dan is capable of, the variety of people who owe him favours."
"Dan suggests that they get married."
"Right then, right there."
"They're both wary, but go up on the stage –
"From opposite sides –
"And do it."
"It could work Jo, it really could. This is something they would do."
"Once they make up their minds, there's no stopping them." I whisper. What just happened? Something changed.
"Absolutely nothing can stop them." He confirms.
"Pacey, you're really here, right? I'm not just dreaming this? I can't – I just..." I stop, closing my eyes and dropping my head. "I don't want to fight myself anymore." I whisper. "I need you Pacey Witter. I need you back." I can't believe I just said that to him.
His hand touches my face and I open my eyes to meet his gaze. "Back?" he asks carefully.
I nod. "I tried to tell myself that I could go back. That I could just be your friend and that would be enough for me. But it's not. I need you so much more than that Pace. I have for so long."
He wraps me in his arms tightly. "So do I Joey. I need you more everyday."
I feel myself convulse in his arms. "What am I going to do without her Pacey?" I sob quietly.
************** Part 52: It's time
I hope this isn't just grief. I really hope she means it. "You're going to do what you do best Josephine. You're going to get up every day and tell yourself that it's beautiful out. You're going to thank God for all the wonderful things in your life, and you're going to remember how much you love Bess."
"Don't ever let me forget that, okay? Don't ever let me get so mad at her that I forget I love her. Don't let me forget her like I forgot my mother for so long. Like I tried to forget you."
"I won't." I tell her softly. Did she just tell me she loves me?
"Yes." She whispers. "I did. I tried so hard to forget that I'm in love with you Pacey. It didn't work though."
I pull back to look in her eyes. "You're..."
"Still in love? Yeah. I'm pretty sure you're not going anywhere. You never really left. I'm the one who ran Pacey, I'm the one who had to come back."
"I love you so much Jo." I tell her softly, kissing her lips gently.
"This is going to be really really slow okay? I just lost my sister."
"I can do slow."
"And you can't tell Andraia about this."
"Drai is one of my best friends." I say carefully.
"I know that, and she seems very nice. But I don't know her – and I'm not entirely sure if I trust her."
I lock eyes with her and see the steel in her eyes. "Okay." I pull her closer to me. "It's time to go."
"I know." She whispers. "Five more minutes?"
"You need to face him Jo. He loves her just as much as you."
"I know that Pace. I just...I haven't..."
"I know, but you know as well as I do – it has to be you."
She buries her face in my chest. "Let's go."
We stand together and I take her hand lightly as we cross to the door.
***