A/N: I'M SORRY!!!  I know I haven't posted forever, and I'm ashamed of myself

Scene: Haldir has gone bye-bye, 'cause he was just one to many characters to keep track of.  Anyhow…

"When do we eat?" asked Pippin.

"NOT UNTIL YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!" yelled an agitated Gandalf.

"I WANNA EAT!!!!!!" screamed Pippin, Jumping up and covering the eyes of Aragorn, who was driving.

"ACK!" Aragorn choked out "Pippin…you're…choking…me."

At this point, Sam, in an attempt to help, grabbed the wheel, but this resulted in them driving over what is quite possibly the largest drainage ditch in the Midwest.

"I hate you, Pippin!" Yelled Gandalf.

"Why did we suddenly go into slow-mo?" quiried Gimli.

"This always happens during a disaster," Legolas informed him.

By this time, they were inches from the ground, upside-down, and were forced to bail out of the windows before the firey crash.

There is only one word to describe what happened next: kaBOOM.  How everyone survived this ordeal I do not know, but they all emerged from a cloud of smoke, dust, and other debris looking like Aragorn on a bad day.

"I hope your happy, Pippin," said Boromir.  "Because now our chances of rescuing Frodo are nil."

With a sigh, Pippin sat down on a rock, which made a hollow, metallic thunk.

"What the…move Pippin!" Ganddalf commanded, beginning to franticly dust hay, ears of corn, and refuse from the explosion off of the 'rock.'

"Oh my lord!  Pippin, you're a genius—"

"I am?"

"He is?" asked the collective rest of FEFGH.

"—I love you!!"

"One minute you hate me, the next you love me.  Wizards have issues."

"Underssssstatement, preciousss."

"Check this out," said Gandalf, indicating a metal hatch.

"Fangirl inc…1950," read Eowyn.

"There were fangirls THEN?!?" asked Merry

"Oh my Tod Pippin," said Boromir "You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you."

Silence.

"Never mind," Boromir muttered as it became increasingly clear that no one got his reference to Carly Simon.

"Let's put it this way…ever heard of Elvis Presley?"

Blank stares.

"Frank Sinatra?"

More blank stares.

"Kids these days," opined Legolas.

"You mean to tell me that you've never heard of the King?" asked Aragorn.

"Well sure I have," asserted Pippin "aren't you the…"

"NO!  I meant Elvis."

"Never mind," said Gandalf, "just get your behinds in there."

A few minutes later:

"It's wet down here," whined Merry.

"Oh hussssshhhhhh," said Gollum.

"Hey guys, look what I found!" yelled Aragorn.

"It looks like a shopping cart with a crapload of outdated newspapers in it," said Boromir.

"Exactly!" said Aragorn happily "If we take the newspapers out it would be perfect for…"

"NO, no, no," said Merry "No way am I riding in that…"

"Do you have any better suggestions?" asked Gandalf sternly.

"No."

"The get your narrow rear end in the cart."

Once everyone had managed to squeeze into the cart, it was going at a heart stopping rate of 1 mph, but it's rickety gait came to a complete stop when it hit a slight bump.

"OK," came Aragorn slightly muffled voice "Everyone see if you can reach the walls and push off.  If we can do that then maybe…"

"Oh, forget this $#!%" said Gandalf.  He raised his staff, whirled it around his head once, and whacked the cart, which immediately began to carry them west at about 90 mph.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed everyone but Gandalf.

REVIEW!!!!!!!

DiamondTook3: I am sorry.

Hyperactive forever: YAAR!  (I believe that that is the word in some Indian dialect for 'yah!')

Galadriel-in-disguise: ARAGORN IS DOWNRIGHT UGLY, I SAY!

OnTheHuntForElijahWood: LOL.

Maddy: thanks.

G-i-d: oh lord.

G-i-d: oh come on.  People DO have a right to be republican.  Yup, I'm in one of my pessimistic/apathetic moods right now.

Xbaby jenks: Thanks.

Aeccu: I know…I had nightmares for weeks.

MischiefHobbit: sorry I haven't written for so long…term paper…finals…blah blah.

MischiefHobbit: no, no one has died.  Never fear.