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Five minutes later, Tony remained in the same place, but had begun crying. He started to talk to her, resting his head closer so that it was still on the bed but pressed up against her side briefly.
"God I love you. I'm trying to keep it together for you. But the truth is baby, I'm terrified. Yeah, I'm scared of going to prison, I'm scared of losing my freedom, but most of all I'm scared of not being with you. I don't know how I'll, or even if I will survive. And what about you? This is going to hurt you so badly. And I would rather die then have you feel an ounce of pain. I love you so much. You are my gift from God, my sole mate; I cannot imagine my life without you. I remember the first time I told you I loved you. I was so nervous. But then you smiled at me and told me you loved me too, and it was the best feeling in the world. And now everyday since then I've been able to have that feeling; I need that feeling Michelle. It keeps me going. My body feeds off of it. I can't imagine not having that feeling anymore. I can't imagine not being able to kiss you everyday, to be able to wrap your curls in my fingers. I can't imagine leaving you to fend by yourself and sitting in a cell knowing that you are hurting. I think the thought would eventually drive me insane. We're supposed to be together, Michelle. I knew it the day of the CTU bombing, when you kissed me. God it was like I had waited an eternity for that kiss. I had been so nervous to let anybody in. But you taught me how to trust again. And I not only found myself trusting you more than anybody else in the world but found myself falling in love."
Tony stood up and sat on the edge of the bed next to her, never breaking the grip on her hand. He brushed a stray piece of hair off her face and allowed his hand to linger on her face.
"You are so beautiful. I can't ever seem to get enough of you. But, it seems I might not be able to be with you much longer. God Michelle I hate to put you through this."
He sighed, slightly caressing her cheek with his thumb.
"When I got shot, the first thing I did was try and say your name. I must have passed out because the next thing I knew I was in a hospital room with a bandage on my neck. I immediately began to worry. I knew you would have been freaking out. But then you came threw the door and relief seeped through my body. You were there, like you always had been. I felt so bad about the way I treated you after we left the hospital. God I was a jerk. I'm so sorry baby. When you called me from the hotel and said that the virus had been released and that you were exposed, it seemed like I had just been stabbed in the heart about a million times. I couldn't breathe. All I could think was I wish I was there with you. I couldn't believe I had let you almost die. Oh but then when you told me that you weren't infected I was so happy; I couldn't even express myself. I told you I loved you. Michelle I have never meant those three words more than when I say them to you. Then came the kidnapping. I couldn't stand seeing him threatening you. I would've traded spots with you in a millisecond, had it been me they were threatening, but I couldn't."
Tony paused.
"Sweetheart I put your life in front of my duty as an agent because I couldn't stand the thought of something happening to you. I was happy that nobody was hurt because of what I did, but if truth be told, I would rather die then have something happen to you. I love you, I'm in love with you Michelle, I just, I don't know how I'm going to live without you."
At this Tony started to cry again. He leaned down to where she was and kissed her on the lips, still holding her hand and wrapping his other arm around her waist, resting his head on her chest. As he sobbed, finally letting it out, he felt her slowly rub his back up and down, stroking his hair and planting kisses on his forehead.