Chapter One: BEAST. BOY. IS. SICK.
It was morning at Titans Tower, and the usual "tofu/meat" fight was on. Raven, with her melancholy tone, had shut herself away in her room, not interested in soy stuff or…beef, and hid away, lost in thought. It had been almost 1 year since somebody had messed with her emotions, she noticed, and Cyborg and Beast Boy hadn't messed with them since, well, they had come close, anyway, and she didn't want to let them mess with them again. Especially on April Fools day, which was coming soon enough.
Raven knew that Beast Boy and Cyborg knew better than to mess with her stuff- or herself. She knew they wouldn't dare play a trick on her, since she would kill them if they did, and if they didn't, well, it wouldn't be much of an April Fools day trick if there was only Robin to fool. (Starfire was too naïve to understand what was going on.) Besides, she was thinking of conjuring a spell that Beast Boy and Cyborg would never forget, something that offered the ultimate humiliation that would make them understand never to prank her- or mess with her- ever again. Even so, she didn't come out of her room, just in case a bucket of Kool-Aid was waiting for her above her bedroom door.
"Hey Raven! Wanna referee a game of stinkball?"
Beast Boy was standing behind Raven's bedroom door, holding a ball that smelled strongly of unwashed gym socks. The green shape-shifter had no object to the girl's tone at him when she was upset, or a door slamming in his face. He just wanted a referee, Raven noticed, but as usual, the girl did what she did best- slam the door in Beast Boy's face. By the way, who wanted to referee a game that involved throwing a stinky sock ball? Out of all people, she wouldn't.
"Oh, come on, Rae!" Beast Boy moaned. "Why do you hate being referee so much?"
Raven wanted to levitate a million objects at BB for asking that question.
"RAVEN!!!!!"
"Go away, Beast Boy."
"Shoot, Raven! Why do you always have to be this way?"
"Because that's who I am. Get out, or I'll rip out your guts- literally."
Just when Raven thought the departure of Beast Boy was the last visitor she was going to get, a knock on the door symbolized that somebody else was making a room call. "The door is closed. Who is it?" She groaned on the sixth knock.
"It is I, friend Raven," Starfire's voice rang out from behind the door. "I would be pleased if you would grant me permission to meditate with you…"
Raven cut her off. "I don't want to hear it," she mumbled and locked the door shut. She did realize that she had hurt Star's feelings, and opened the door, surprised that the Tameranian girl was still there. "Fine- but just this once," was all Raven could say.
"Oh, glorious!" Starfire blurted out. "Thank you, friend Raven!"
As Raven led the way inside her room, she took time to examine the dark, mysterious interior of it. The dark purple paint was left untouched, and the dresser, mirror, and drawer were dusty and looked as if it had been left there for ages. She noticed that Starfire was still slightly bemused, half because she rarely went to Raven's room.
"Does your room always have to be this dark, friend Raven?" Starfire said in a small voice, partly because her own room was far more feminine.
"Yes. Now can we get on with this?" The Goth girl replied in a monotone voice.
The two girls spread out on the floor, floating a few inches up into the air.
"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos," they repeated, although Starfire didn't get the point of doing so; her powers were not controlled by emotions, as Raven's was.
"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."
"AZARATH, METRION, ZINTHOS."
Outside in the main room, Beast Boy was pacing back and forth along the couches.
"Oh come on, Cy! Does recharging your system-thing always take this long? I mean, COME ON!!!! You've been in that bathroom for AGES!!!!"
From the room you could hear a faint reply. "Do little green guys with pointy ears always have to be this impatient?!??"
"Yes!!!! And I'm NOT LITTLE!!!!!!! Do you hear that?????? I said, I'M NOT LITTLE!!!!"
"Well, too bad, you fool of an elf. Why don't you turn into some sort of mouthless animal instead of pacing around, doing that stupid backtalk at me?"
"DUDE!!!! I AM SO NOT AN ELF!!!!!!!! (A/N: Is he an elf?????)
"Go bother Raven or something. I'm SICK of answering you, and SICK of YOU!!!"
"Dude?"
"I said, GO BOTHER RAVEN!"
Back To Raven:
It seemed that all was well to Raven; being the quiet creature she was, Starfire proved to be not much of a nuisance, she was meditating without any disturbance, and all anger directed to Beast Boy that day had completely vanished... that is, until Raven heard a knock on the door. She sighed when she answered, it was none other than our friend Beast Boy, with his precious stinkball in one hand, a referee's whistle in the other, all the while with a feisty grin planted on his face. In her mind, Raven was talking to Anger how much she wanted to kill the "elf" and in real life, she was (again) slaming the door in BB's face. She had intended to do that, much to Starfire's surprise, since she thought everybody had a little good inside them, and the Tameranian floated over to her friend.
"Friend Raven? Why did you not let our friend Beast Boy accompany us?"
Raven groaned. "Do you even get it?" She mumbled in a voice that told Starfire to back up or else. "'Friend' Beast Boy is SICK, Starfire." She looked at her friend's horrified expression, and changed her tone. "Not sick-sick, like a cold or flu or yeah, he's just crazy. Wacko. Weird. Zany. All that. And if you don't believe me, remember that demented worm he gave you?" Starfire nodded gravely, remembering how her beloved pet had almost eaten the whole tower. Raven saw this, and continued ranting. "NOW you remember. Good. Well, just avoid BB for the remainder of the month- I mean, year, and remember what I told you- BEAST. BOY. IS. SICK.
And although the Tameranian princess had put on a sober face at that very moment, Raven knew that she would never regret these words.