Summary: A team of five young anthropologists are recruited by the notorious Romafeller Foundation to investigate something long lost; instead, they find each other and much more than they had bargained for. 1x2, 3x4, 5xS, other. AU. WIP.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; however, the concept and the plot are of my devising. No profit has been made or will be made from this venture, and no infringement of rights is intended.
Note: All coincidences are purely coincidental; this short story is not meant to infringe or insult any anthropologist anywhere. As I am not acquainted with ethnographers and I have just begun my first anthropology course, all of the anthropological activities are my creation and any passing similarity to established protocol is just that, passing and no more. It is my sincere hope that true anthropologists are more diligent and less self-centered that the characters portrayed.
Chapter 4: Country Camping
A suitable campsite was found, with adequate protection from wind and rain. It also lacked poisonous things and mosquitoes. By setting down his pack, Heero indicated that he was stopping for the night. Quatre smiled at him, approving his choice, while Duo investigated the perimeter, just in case. Sitting down in the heavy underbrush, Wufei pulled out some rations while Trowa efficiently lit a fire. It was very elegantly done; Heero catalogued the elements of the action within his memory for future reference.
"I'll cook." Quatre offered. "I'm pretty good, really."
"Twenty-nine sisters and you gotta learn something!" Duo agreed, bouncing a little where he stood. "This is so great! Got food! Got fire! Got a beautiful wilderness! Damn fine, really! Hey, anyone want to help me with my hammock?"
"Unnecessary." Trowa informed him. "I brought two pup tents."
"Wow! A sentence!" Striking a pose of surprise, Duo mock-gasped.
"No." Wufei snickered. "That wasn't a sentence, Maxwell."
"Hey, I do so speak in many sentences." Duo protested. "All of the time."
"We gathered that, Duo." Quatre said, blithely, setting up the mess set around the fire to get the rice ready. "You speak a lot. I mean, a lot of languages. Does anyone have any perishables that they'd be willing to donate to the meal?"
"Er, how do you define perishable?" Duo looked into his bag. "I have potato chips, twinkies, those pizza pocket things, beef jerky, some trail mix and God do I ever hate the stuff, and some of those smores granola bars, oatmeal cream pie, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate, hmmm…I remembered my dehydrated beer flavoring."
"That sounds positively vile." Wufei commented.
"Oh, it is! I love it! It really tastes like that really disgusting beer, you know the horrible cheap stuff that doesn't come just from the bottom of the barrel, but it's more like the left over from the good stuff out of the bottom of five barrels. Yeah, it's like that man either. Good stuff."
That was amazing. Heero didn't think that real people talked like that.
"Ew." Quatre looked up, and poured out some water from one of his canisters to hydrate some powdered curry stuff. That also belonged to Wufei.
"Does anyone have empty canisters?" Heero pulled his filter out of his pack, and stood up. "I am willing to seek an acceptable water source and refill."
Several canisters were thrust out at him, and Duo bounced up with a grin. "Dude, can I come? Can I come please? Hey, Q-man, when's dinner going to be ready?"
"About twenty minutes or so." Quatre looked up from where he was trying to get the lumps out of the sauce. "Why?"
"Oh, my stomach is like a timer. It'll know just when to get us back so that we have something hot to shove down the gaping maw of doom." Duo grinned and patted his belly rigorously. "I'll head out with you, kay, Heero? It'll be fun. Male bonding and all of that so excellent jazz."
"Gaping…maw…of doom?" Wufei repeated faintly. Perhaps the fact that they were having to share time, space, and funds with such an idiot was finally sinking in.
"Oh, yeah. Maw of doom. Haven't you ever watched any movies, man?" Duo shook his head. "A lot of the time the entrance to the Underworld, Death, Hades, Hell, etc., is represented as a dark cave or cave-like entrance bearing many stalagmites and stalactites. Very mouth like. Even the Harry Potter books—you can't tell me you never heard of those, man, cause I mean really they were so famous in the twenty first century you would have had to been blind to miss them in history class—yeah, even those books had Death Eaters in them. Many ancient Gods and Goddesses were depicted as devourers of life, constantly hungry for bestowing death. The urge to kill is like a hunger, you know? Ne way, we kill to eat, eat to live, thus gaping mouth of doom, get it? Simple, man, simple."
Very soberly, Wufei said, "You are a very disturbed individual."
"Heh, heh heh. Yeah." Duo stretched and scratched the back of his head. "I guess that I'm just that much more interesting. Don't worry, though, it'll only help us in getting close to the villagers. I'll be like your faithful madman or something. It'll be endearing."
"Right." Trowa said, skeptically, from behind his veil of hair. "I'll get wood."
"The villagers may have a custom of killing or stoning the mad." Heero said thoughtfully. "It is common amongst many cultures to find a cultural solution to prevent the perpetuation of madness."
"Damn." Duo started at him. "You're the one who's a fucking nut, man. Don't take me too seriously. Anyway, with my brand of luck, I'd get let free to suffer through my tortured path of life, and they'd stone you for being witches or something. Ne way, Stone Face, you gonna get water or not?"
"Hn." Heero turned, calculated the direction of deepest slope in relation to the likelihood of runoff from the surrounding hills and bluffs, and went in that direction. He had not fully studied the geological nature of the area, so he did not feel comfortable in searching for springs.
It took them fifteen minutes to find an adequate source. Duo spoke nonstop the entire time, but as he was observant enough to point out several well camouflaged animals and redirections in their path that would improve efficiency, it did not seem like an activity that was detrimental to their progress. After all, they were friendly anthropologists in friendly territory.
Not hostile. Heero had to keep reminding himself of that fact.
It still seemed odd to walk beside someone who was so talkative and managed to say absolutely nothing about what he had done with his life or was intending to do. It was just words, sometimes entire sequences of words lacking innate meaning.
They managed to make it back to camp in five minutes. Duo had been adamant about that, and had begun singing inane jingles in various languages about the importance of several meals a day and a balanced diet. Personally, Heero thought that Duo was not one to speak about balanced diets; at least, the contents of his knapsack did not seem to indicate even a passing thread of interest in any sort of a diet. But, then, Heero knew little of social interaction.
The banter intrigued Heero. He had never heard people who were comfortable with other people, or at least, were pretending to be comfortable. It was a very new experience, and he was satisfied to soak up the nature of amiable conversation concerning various neutral and senseless topics.
"Are you sure you don't want some?" Quatre offered up the remainders at the bottom of the pot. It was likely that he had made the anthropologists take less than their desired share in order that he could continue to tempt Heero.
"No."
"Oh! Me. Can I have some?" Duo begged. "Me, me, me. I'm absolutely famished, and fainting from hunger over here. I love your cooking Q-man and your ingredients, Wu-man. Totally the best food I've had in ages. Please, Cat!"
"Oh, fine." Quatre grumbled good naturedly, and then promptly split up the remainder into four equal parts and interspersed it between all of the anthropologists.
Of course, Duo whined about it incessantly, until something about Heero distracted him and he went into full curiosity mode. "Why are you insisting on eating those repulsive bar thingies?"
"All necessary components to optimum performance." Heero answered.
"Shit, man. What are you, a fucking machine?" Duo threw up his hands in the air, hopelessly. The tin landed in the soft loam of the forest. "No, I've got it. You're a soldier, because you act just like one. I bet you say sir and everything, too. A perfect solider."
"Hn." Heero did not know if this was a compliment or an insult. Was he supposed to reply with a threat or gratitude? Neutral seemed safe.
"Stop bugging him, Duo." Quatre whispered gently. "I'm sure that though he's a bit recalcitrant, he'll open up with time. Just let it be."
"Mother Mary said to me, let it be, let it be! Speaking words of wisdom, let it be. Oh, let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be! Speaking words of wisdom, let it be…" Duo sang, and did a little dance around the fire. "Oh, we should sing! Does anyone know any songs that we all know, and then we sound sing and dance in circles around the fire."
"We are not here to make up native customs." Heero stated.
"Oh, God, you just can't loosen up, can you? I mean, heck, it'd be fun! It could count as one of those getting-to-know you team activities in the business place."
"Ugh." Quatre buried his face in his hands. "Never, Duo. Never."
"That is undignified." Wufei informed him. "I would not subject myself to something of that order."
"Aaw." Duo whined, but he thankfully let it drop. "It would've been perfect with the hydrated beer. Just fun, haven't you ever heard of it. Damn."
"The tents." Trowa pulled out two small stuff sacks, and dropped them onto the forest floor. As both Duo and Quatre had terrible night vision, Heero, Wufei and Trow set up the tents. They were very efficient. Heero decided that Trowa was an acceptable team member. Quatre and Duo, being the most social members, chatted amiably as they cleaned up the mess kit.
"Dude, those things are tiny." Duo stared at the tents.
"Two man." Trowa shrugged. "Three can fit."
"Yeah, but…" Duo shook his head, braid swinging. "I don't know."
Glancing up from his contemplation of the fire, Heero informed them. "I will sleep outside."
"You'll just get…get…crucified by the bugs!" Duo seemed horrified.
Heero shrugged. "I am able to repress specific immune reactions and I am resistant to all blood borne diseases."
"Fuck, what the hell are you?" Duo's eyes were wide. Indigo.
Turning, Heero snapped the strap off of the stuff sack, pulled out his sleeping bag, and began situating it at a decent distance.
"Duo," Quatre whispered. The four were readying their sleeping arrangements, scuttling in and out of the tents and yanking off their clothes. "I don't think what you said to Heero was quite polite."
"Dude, Cat. I don't know you well, and you sure as hell aren't my mother to go lecturing me like Miss fucking Manners." Duo whispered. There was the funny sound of something scraping against tent fabric. Probably that ridiculous braid. "Anyway, don't tell me that you weren't thinking it."
Quatre didn't say anything. Neither did anyone else, and then everyone else fell asleep. Breathing patterns became regular. Fabric rustled as REM caused twitching as tension was released from muscles. Someone muttered subaudibly in Chinese, and someone else whimpered in a high pitched puppy-like sound.
It was the first time that Heero did not go to sleep though he did want to go to sleep. That action was necessary for efficiency. But, he did not even progress through the stages of self-hypnosis. He just stared at the glowing coals; the dark red seemed like the inversion of Duo's eyes and absolutely nothing like his voice, his words.